Sharknado

Dedicated to Cory Monteith and inspired by his last two tweets.

"What the crap is a Sharknado?" Asked Finn. Brittany had been bugging the Glee Club to watch it for months. Nobody really knew why she was so obsessed with it, it looked awful. Santana had finally broken down and promised she'd watch it with her girlfriend. Then she made the rest of New Directions promise to watch it with them. So there they all were, in the basement at Brittany's house. There was a projector pointing at the wall and a collection of sofas facing towards the screen. Brittany told them that Lord Tubbington liked to watch movies down here.

Rachel, who was sitting squashed in between Finn and Puck, replied to her boyfriend. "Obviously it's a tornado with sharks in. What else would it be?" She teased. Finn looked confused and Rachel and Puck laughed at his dopey expression. Brittany entered the room carrying tonnes of blankets and pillows and everyone made themselves comfortable.

The movie started, as all bad movies seem to, with unnecessary violence. Rachel buried her head in Finns shoulder as the sharks ate an entire boats-worth of crew members. "That scene totally wasn't needed. The only reason for it was to show that there are lots of sharks. I'm a vegan, I don't even eat meat because it grosses me out, why do I have to watch this mindless gore." Rachel complained. Finn put his hand over her mouth to stop her ranting and replied "Shush, you're missing the movie."

"OMG he's named after me!" Exclaimed Finn during the next scene. "I don't know whether that was on purpose Finn," Kurt replied, "I think it was meant to be a bad joke. You know sharks have fins... never mind."

The rest of the movie passed in an exceptionally unrealistic way.

"Did that Ferris wheel seriously just crush those people?"

"That is disgusting"

"I've never seen someone being ripped into that many pieces before"

"How the hell did the shark get inside their house?"

"Death by flying Hollywood sign. That's new."

"How come the sharknado sucked a person through a small hole in the roof and destroyed an entire building but that helicopter is absolutely fine?"

"Are they seriously bombing the tornadoes?"

"That is the most blood I've ever seen in my life."

"How convenient that they both got eaten by the same shark"

"I want a chainsaw."

Everyone turned to stare at Puck for his last comment.

"What? That was fucking awesome. I want a go."

The rest of the club rolled their eyes and attempted to leave the basement.

"Where are you all going?" Asked Brittany. "We still have to watch Sharknado 2"

They all groaned (except Puck and Santana, who had decided that although the movie was awful, it was so bad that it was good) and sat back down, preparing for more sharks, chainsaws and needless blood and gore. This was going to be a long night.