Given

By: Tenshi no Nozomi (tenshi_no_nozomi@hotmail.com)

Disclaimer: This stuff is crap.. Who the hell bothers to read it, anyway? I don't own anything in this, except for maybe the plot. And just how much is :that: worth, anyhow? Probably not a heck of a lot.

AB: Hah! Hi peeps. This is, I should say, one of the strangest fanfics I have probably ever written. ^^;;; Or started, anyhow. You'll be immersed into the plot really soon, and although things may seem a bit confusing now, that's because I'm trying the style of 'introducing the near-end part first and then flashing back' technique! Kwahahahahaaa.

And above that, it's a Zagato + Usagi fic. I can almost see the people pressing the 'back' buttons on their browsers. :winces: But before you leave, let me explain. I don't think this couple has :ever: been done (and I'm sure Emeraude fans are saying, so shit! While they write their hate mail to me) but. well, I've always kinda had a soft spot for him.

He does his evilness out of love. So cute. He reminds me a lot of Rauresu (who is so hot it's not even funny) from the manga Seimaden by Higuri Yuu (and whether or not you like your guys dark, evil, and good looking you NEED to check this guy out- the manga in general, too, while I'm thinking about it.). I probably would have used Rauresu for this (I even thought about it for a few minutes), but I like him paired up with Hilda, she's pretty cool, plus I'd feel guilty. ^^;;;;

Moving right along, the point is that I don't like Emeraude a lot. She had the choice to be with the man that she loved, but she wouldn't take it because she didn't think the people could handle the problems of deciding their own fates. Because of her, a lot of other problems are created in the future; I wanted to kick her by the time I'd read the fourth manga in the series. Anyhow. don't send me flames, or whatever- at least this is original.

Prologue : The Alpha.. *--------------------*

The wind ripped at her skin, striking it harshly, as though it had the nails of a demon beast and were clawing at her flesh. It was painful, yes, but there were things of more importance at hand.

She had crossed the narrow bridge of ice over the velvet dark pit, had defeated her doubts and self-limitations, had fought and won against a beast that would have surely killed her if it weren't for sheer determination.

And now, standing on this land in the middle of nowhere, she surveyed her surroundings with a feeling of calm and finality. It would all be over soon, so she might as well get a good look of this that she'd never see again.

The ground beneath her was barren, a lack-luster brown, covered with intricate designs and patterns that added up to mysterious mural shaped in a spiral that wound to the center. The platform wasn't very large- just a raised piece of circular ground that reminded her of a cliff that only spread about two meters in circumference; an island of land surrounded by a sea of oblivion.

Looking to the west, she could see milky stars banding across the sky, a silvery, ghostly spectrum that was breathtaking in its beauty. And not too far off of that was Earth. It was better in life than it was in pictures, even- she could almost see the wispy clouds moving, and the blueness of the waters was so bright it almost hurt to look at.

She closed her eyes and breathed the fresh air in deeply. He had said this was pocket inside of space, bound to its own rules and not those that governed the rest of the universe. She wanted to absorb what she'd seen here, the enigmatic yet benevolent feeling that rested in the air around here. She didn't know if she'd need it later, but it would be nice to have it as a memory.

When she reopened her eyes, she saw that a mirror-ish device had appeared in front of her. It was oval, and hung exactly like a mirror, and even showed her reflection, so she might have mistaken it for one if it weren't for the fact that the surface was rippling like water.

Upon another look, everything looked ethereal, like this might all be a dream. Usagi prayed it wasn't- even for all its obscurities, this place exuded a feeling of acceptance and understanding the way a person might, and it had an odd look of perfection in her mind.

Usagi crossed over to the device slowly, almost hesitantly. She looked at her reflection, and saw just a plain and simple looking blonde in a rather disheveled looking school uniform. She looked a bit tired, and certainly bedraggled, but there was a satisfied look to her reflection's face that she knew was imprinted on her own.

It was because she'd managed to make it this far on her own, to prove that she could do this and make up her own mind. That was what was important to her- that, and that she should hold up to her end of the deal.

She reached out and gingerly touched the surface. It was exactly like water; cool to the touch and it left the pads of her fingers wet. She withdrew them, and watched the silver residue form into quivering droplets before falling to the ground in front of her.

Usagi looked back at the water, and felt confirmed that this was, indeed, some kind of gateway. She knew instinctively that if she entered it, there would be no turning back. Not ever.

It didn't seem like such a bad thing now, though. Usagi closed her eyes again, feeling the burden of the past few weeks come rolling off of her. She stuck her hands up against the cool liquid and prepared to enter when she was interrupted.

Through almost the whole time she had been here, there had been no one here but her. There had been no sound, but for the beast she'd battled with- not even the wind seemed to want to whisper in such a hallowed feeling place. She had grown accustomed to the silence that had at first seemed deafening. She remembered having to mutter to herself in order to keep her sanity, but it had been nothing like what she heard then.

"Usagi! Usagi, oh please, wait!"

Usagi instinctively withdrew from the liquid, shocked and dazed and almost in pain. She turned around, wide-eyed in amazement, and her mouth drew into a small 'o' when she saw them.

Her dearest friends, all four of them... they were all here. They looked breathless, perhaps even in pain. They were all trying to catch their breathe in a hurried manner.

Usagi could feel her eyebrows draw together and downward in almost sadness. They shouldn't have come, she had even left them a note telling them specifically not to. And yet. here they were, panting and breathless and acting like total idiots.

"Usagi... You don't have to do this," Rei finally managed to gasp out, meeting her eyes. She looked like she was a combination of furious and puzzled, as though she couldn't understand why Usagi was doing this. And Usagi knew that she couldn't- none of them could.

She looked at them, feeling sad and distanced. There had been a time when she was the naive one of them, and now she felt like the eldest. Her heart felt heavy again, the way it had in the weeks before- she was trying to hang onto the past, when it wasn't even really hers to rightfully want anymore.

Ami was looking at her now, aquamarine eyes filled with sadness and guilt. "Please, Usagi-chan, don't. Not for me- I'm not worth it."

Usagi offered her friend a small, sad smile that said she disagreed without her having to ever speak. Ami had always thought very little of herself, despite the fact that she was in truth a special and wonderful person. If only the genius's self-confidence weren't so lacking.

"Usagi, there MUST be another way," Makoto cried, having fully recovered. The girl looked at her with fury and determination- angry that Usagi would dare to 'give up' and submit to such a fate. Then again, Makoto was the kind of person that never gave up, even when it was hopeless.

Usagi couldn't even manage a smile in her direction. It taxed on her spirit that her friend thought that she had not thought things through, had just simply given up.

She met their eyes, their brave eyes, and finally said, softly, "There is no other way."

Silence ruled the room for a minute, before Makoto burst with words again. "No, that's not true! There's always another way, another choice- you just haven't looked hard enough."

Usagi winced inwardly at her friend's tone. She probably didn't realize just how hurtful her accusation had been to her. She just shook her head in reply, saying nothing. There wasn't anything to say, not really.

"Please, Usagi. Please don't do this, not for me," Ami begged, the girl nearly in tears by now. Her voice was higher than usual and her eyes were misty with tears that threatened to overflow.

Usagi offered her another kind, soft smile. "If it makes you feel any better, then... Know that it is not just for you."

There was silence, and this time it was broken by Rei. "What do you mean," her voice sounding angry, puzzled, and almost frightened, from the sound of it. Indeed, the raven-haired priestess, always well known for her cool head in times of need sounded shrill with distress.

Minako, though, her eyes had grown wide with surprise, and it was obvious from the way she was gaping that she understood what Usagi meant. She nodded her had, and her surprised expression was replaced by a resolute one.

"If it's what you really want, then I won't stop you," she offered, linking her hands behind her back. She smiled at Usagi secretively, almost conspiringly, before once more hiding her expression.

The others screeched in protest, arguing and demanding an explanation. But it didn't matter anymore to Usagi. Her mind was made up, between her friend's momentary look of approval and the memory of his sad eyes.

His expressive, heartbroken eyes, so rich in their violet color that it was almost impossible. And she found herself recalling behind her closed eyelids the images of him that had become imprinted in her mind and heart. Him furious, him smug and not-quite smirking, him looking cold yet angry, almost insane with that reptilian smirk on his face.

Him, time and again, and no matter what the expression, he always looked sad and longing, as if there was something just out of his reach that he would have given anything to have. I can't move forward.

Something inside of me has changed, and it's irreversible. I'm beyond what I was before. I would explain it to you, but if I had a thousand years, you still would not understand, she thought to herself, gazing mournfully at her friends.

"Gomen, minna-chan," she murmured, though she was loud enough to cut them off in mid-fight. They stared at her, eyes wide and surprised and innocent. They did not understand, but she didn't expect them to.

"Thank you... for all the wonderful times we've shared. You'd... best leave now. If you go beyond this point... you'll never be able to get home." This was difficult for her to say, and she was choking up on the words.

If only they weren't here, hadn't come, then they wouldn't remind her of her home and the past she was leaving behind. Then it wouldn't be nearly so hard.

"U-Usagi," Rei asked, looking fearful. She understood what Usagi had planned, but it was obvious that she was frozen in disbelief. Her eyes begged her not to do it.

Usagi just smiled sadly. "Sayonara," she whispered, half in regret, before stepping back into the liquid, completely immersing herself in the liquid before disappearing. She heard their cries of shock, disbelief, and sorrow- she was sinking away, though, going further and further down into the water, sinking away from their distorted, pain-filled faces, into a navy blue sanctuary where everything was... alright.

She was vaguely aware of the passage of time. It wasn't too long, she was sure of that, but it was long enough, and it felt as though it was going to take her longer- though why, she was not sure.

But it gave her time to think. Not that this might be an exceptionally good thing- she'd thought enough over the past few days to make her head burst- but she felt the urge to recap over the events, and to try to make sense of it all.

It had all started about three weeks ago, on the day Usagi had made that B minus. Yes, that was it- and they had gone out to celebrate it...

*---------------------------------*

O.o;;; lol; what the hell have I written? Damn my compulsive writing habits and me. Why do I always do this? Somebody needs to beat the crap out of me. Better yet, exterminate all of the plot bunnies! : brandishes an uzi: Here, bunniii~eesss.

Well, please review. Tell me what you think. I'm not sure if this one will get finished, either, since it came up so spontaneously. I'm serious, I just came up with it out of nowhere.