A/N

I Suggest you listen to Free! soundtracks: Not Alone, Memory of the Past and Mirai Nikki Emotional OST.


It is surprising how quickly one's life can be turned upside down.

How easily you can lose everything that makes you, you.

It only took a couple of seconds for Haru`s world to shatter into a million itty bitty small pieces.

It only took one argument with his parents to get him here.

It only took one man to make him like this.

It only took a few, small seconds.


"Hello, this is Tachibana Makoto speaking!" a cheerful, soft voice announced. The bright looking teen behind it looked so gentle and kind one couldn`t imagine him angry at anyone, or anything.

Neither could anyone imagine how his gentle looks morphed into that of intense pain and horror. Tears welled up in his forest green eyes and slid down slightly tanned cheeks. A hand rose to cup his shaking jaw and cover his mouth so his wretched sobs couldn`t escape into the world. As if holding them in would make it any less painful.

"We need you to come to the Emergency room on Iwatobi Hospital as quick as possible. The person known as Nanase Haruka has been in a car accident and is undergoing surgery at the moment. We need some information on his blood type and etcetera. Are you available?"

"Oh God," Makoto choked out, sinking to his knees as a horrible pain flared through his chest. "Oh God. Haru," it was as if the name of his most loved one had broken a dam and the gentle giant known as Makoto Tachibana broke.


"He won`t ever be able to walk again. I`m sorry."

Those were the words that would forever color Haruka`s world a faded grey. Forever and ever would those words follow him. No matter how much he wished, prayed and begged there would be nothing anyone could do to save him. Nothing to keep him from falling into the endless pit that was calling for him.

There was nothing to keep Haru from turning around and walk to the tempting fall. To be forever in darkness, no more pain and suffering. No more of this agonizing knowledge that he would never feel the soft grass beneath his feet, never feel the sand between his toes.

Never would he stand in the beautiful ocean and feel the waves crash against his knees, almost knocking him over with a gentle firmness unknown to him. Never would he feel the gruff plateau a few feet above the clear, chlorinated water. Never more would he feel the same chlorinated water flow around him as he kicked gracefully against the opposite wall.

Never more would he swim beside his Makoto, looking into his eyes as they both treaded the water. Never more would he get to feel those soft lips on his when they duked down, away from prying eyes. Never more would he hear how the world would dampen as he explored the ocean floor, Makoto swimming beside him pointing and staring with the excitement of a child.

Never more.


"Haru? I`m coming in," a soft voice called out as three equally soft knocks were heard throughout the silent room. A head full of ruffled khaki colored hair popped in. A gentle smile tugged on Makoto`s lips as he walked in further, sitting down in the chair beside Haru`s bed.

"Hello, Haru. It`s a very sunny outside today, and warm too. Hopefully we can go outside again soon so you won`t be stuck in this room all day." A faint chuckled escaped the lips of the gentle giant before it died down as well, giving room to the constant, rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor.

"The doctors say you may wake up soon," he continued, his fingers found their place intertwined with the comatose patient`s own. "I believe they are right. I just know you will wake up soon and when you do I`ll be right here beside you," he promised, rising from his chair and kissing each of Haru`s eyelids, "I love you remember? I will always love you, no matter what."

Makoto didn`t only talk to Haru`s unresponsive form, he also read for him, sang for him or simply sat there for hours stroking his hand and flexing his fingers. The doctors had said how stiff Haru would feel when he woke up, that he may be in pain because his joints had locked themselves. That`s why Makoto had made it his personal job to flex and stretch Haru`s fingers and arms, sometimes massaging his shoulders and neck.

Many had given up on Haru already, especially his parents. It was a wonder they met up after a week after the accident. They didn`t even press charges against the man who had hit him! But Makoto hadn`t said anything, only sat by Haruka`s side throughout it all. No matter how hard Makoto prayed for his beloved to wake up, he sometimes wondered if that was really for the best.

He would always quickly dismiss such thoughts. He was Haru for crying out loud! He couldn`t just let him go like that! But, knowing that Haru would never walk again, never swim again. It broke his heart. The black haired teen would be devastated.

"Oh Haru, how I wished I could take your pain," Makoto murmured sadly, voice breaking as shoulders too bulky for such a gentle creature shook with painful sobs. Large, firm yet soft hands clenched the smaller, fairer hand of a smaller more fragile person. Holding on as if by letting go, he would just float away from him and disappear forever.

"Please wake up, we can figure this out together!" he pleaded, voice quivering and breaking with emotions too raw for those who had not understood true love to understand. The feeling of having ones heart ripped in two.


It was two months after the incident that Haru finally opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a beautiful forest green, and the first thing he heard was an even more beautiful voice. A familiar feeling of a hand cupping his cheek had him closing his eyes for a second, taking some time to just marvel in the loving gesture.

"Hey Haru, did you sleep well?" the tender voice asked, and cerulean orbs opened once more to mold with olive ones. The tiniest of smiles tugged his lips upwards, but that was all Makoto needed. Haru was awake and he was as fine as he could be in a situation like this. "I missed you," he murmured, leaning down to rest his forehead on a paler one. This time both beautiful orbs hid behind thin eyelids as they just breathed. Breathed in the same air as the one who shared half their heart.

"I love you," Makoto whispered hoarsely, voice suddenly too tight for him and eyes suddenly burning. "I love you so much," he sobbed, head sliding down to rest on a well-toned chest. Nimble, tired and slightly stiff arms rose to wrap around his shaking form, as Haru clung to him with the same fierce hold of one who had gotten a little too close for comfort. A little bit too close to tear a soul in two.

"`ove..u..t..o," the raspy voice reached Makoto`s ears, yet it did not still his shaking, nor did it stop his flowing tears, instead he did his best to nod and with a broken voice he said, "I know Haru, I know."


"How is he?" a slightly obnoxious voice lathered with concern asked in quiet tones. Stark red glasses were pushed into soft marine blue hair, and concerned sky blue eyes flittered constantly towards the closed hospital door.

"Who? Haru-chan or Mako-chan?" this time the voice was lighter - younger sort of - more innocent. "Uh…both?" Ryugazaki Rei answered uncertainly. Makoto had been absolutely heartbroken the last month, barely eating and sleeping. Not once had he come to swim practice, opting instead to sit by his beloved`s side waiting for him to wake up.

"I think Haru woke up yesterday, so Mako-chan is a lot better. Haru-chan is a little out of it I think, but otherwise I think they`re just fine," Hazuki Nagisa said reassuringly, grinning widely. Rei felt an enormous burden ease of his shoulders and a smile of his own met his counterpart`s.

"It`s good to finally see you smile again Rei-chan," Nagisa said softly, and Rei knew. He knew it had been as hard for Nagisa as the rest of them. But the young blonde had taken it upon himself to try and cheer them all up.

Nagisa probably been the most alone during these two long months, and the guilt tore at Rei`s stomach like a vicious beast. "I`m sorry," he apologized, voice growing even softer and eyes averted to his feet, finding the lases quite interesting. "I should have been there for you, but I got so swallowed by my own pain that I forgot yours," he said, nervously raising his gaze to lock with soft pink ones.

"It`s alright Rei-chan. We all forgot each other's pain the last months. It`s not your fault," as if words weren`t enough slender arms wrapped around a strong neck as Nagisa folded himself to fit into the perfectly shaped Rei. Words were never enough. This was the point where both of them really let go of their shared pain, let it flow between them as they poured it all out. Readied themselves so Haru would feel like home. Like nothing had ever changed.

But that was a lie. Cus` it had changed. Haru`s world was shattered, the only thing keeping him up was Makoto. Sweet, sweet Makoto who loved him with all his heart. Who would do anything to take Haru`s place, to let his loved one be in the water once more.

"We can only be there for him now."


After the accident Haru became even more withdrawn. Long hours were spent staring out a window as he sat in his wheelchair. Often with Makoto by his side. Had it been anyone else they might be frustrated, sad, angry or despaired, but not Haru. The raven haired teen merely sat there, listening to soft breaths and Makoto`s delicate voice. Haru had felt an intense feeling of abandonment whenever the khaki haired giant had left his side, so Makoto had been allowed to sleep over in his room.

If Haru wasn`t possessive before, he was very possessive now. They all speculated if it was because of the shock, that Haru glued himself to one of the constant things in his life. This constant was of course Makoto. The one who had never left his side throughout everything. The one who Haru had opened up to and told everything. The one who promised they would always be together, no matter what.

And he did. He stayed and he watched over Haruka as he rested. As he cried silent tears and trembled with wretched sobs. He held him when the pain was too much and he was always one step ahead. Always ready with whatever the former swimmer could want. And lastly, he showered him with love and affection yet didn`t fuss so much over the sudden drop in height.

He was Makoto, and he was all Haru had left.


The first problem when the discharge date arrived, was Haru`s living arrangement. With Nagisa`s family situation he was out of the question. Rei couldn`t do anything either and Rin lived in a dorm. The red haired swimmer had originally said he could move in with Haru to watch over him, but Makoto was surprisingly the one who rejected the request.

"I can live with him. I know his house and habits better than anyone. And I am practically over at his place every day anyways," he said, his eyes had a stubbornness to them that only Haru could bring forth. "Well! Mako-chan has spoken! We leave it up to you then," Nagisa decided happily, and both the butterfly and the back stroker smiled with him.

"As long as Haru is fine I don`t care," Rin muttered, arms crossed tightly over his chest. Makoto fixed him with a warm smile and patted his shoulder in a friendly gesture. "He`ll pull through. It might take some time, but he will," he said firmly before he stood and walked towards the hospital entrance.

"Look at them," the blonde haired penguin lover sighed, a kind smile stretching his cheeks. "They are so infatuated with each other it`s almost blinding." Neither Rei nor Rin had any comments to that and instead opted to watch as Makoto bowed down to kiss Haruka`s lips softly before resting his forehead against the smaller male`s.

Makoto and Haru had gotten over their shyness ages ago. Especially after the accident, they didn`t want to hide the fact that they loved each other, even if Makoto could feel embarrassed sometimes. But now he didn`t care, opting instead to get behind the wheelchair and start pushing him towards their waiting friends.

"Gou sends her congratulations on your discharge and she is very sorry she couldn`t make it," Rin said monotonously, Haru only looked at him with the same blank face as always. Rin smacked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, as if the particular sound should solve anything. "I see," came Haru`s quite voice, cold and emotionless. "Hey! Haru-chan!" Nagisa shouted happily, earning a slightly annoyed look from Haru as the former swimmer muttered, "drop the -chan already," but he was ultimately ignored.

"We need to have a welcome home party!" Nagisa said, voice filled with excitement as he grabbed Rei`s hand, "let`s go Rei-chan! We need to buy a gift for Haru!" he said, dragging the confused butterfly practitioner with him.


The party was a small one, just the closest of them gathered at Haru`s house. The coach was there, their teacher was there, Niitori was there, Momotaro was there and even Sousuke! Gou had also had the time ti drop by but not for long, she was working on some project or another. Nonetheless They had a good time. Haru didn`t seem too bothered and either way Makoto kept him snuggled up on his lap the entire time.

"Are you tired?" the brunet asked in a murmur, lips pressed to the top of Haru`s head as the other lent into him. He didn`t get a verbal answer, only felt the slight nod and the relaxing of muscles in the well-toned back pressed firmly against his broad chest. "Can I carry you to bed?" he asked, still as soft as before as he nuzzled his hair affectionately. "Mmm," came the reply, low and almost undetectable.

Makoto though, has this special sense that awakens whenever he`s with Haru, so instead of asking what he meant he stood carefully and lifted Haru bridal style. The ravenette's hair lolled to the side and came to rest in the crook of Makoto`s neck as a pale hand gripped his shirt tightly. "I`m just going to help Haru get into bed," he explained, voice meek and warm. He didn`t say it like he was a hassle, nor like he pitied him, but like he loved him.

Haru felt himself sink into unconsciousness as the gentle rock of Makoto walking lulled him into a deep sleep. He was truly exhausted with all the commotion Nagisa had scooped together. Not that he wasn`t grateful because he was, but it was a little bit overwhelming when he was forced to handle so many people right after he was discharged from the quiet hospital. Luckily his beloved giant had stayed close during it all, softly stroking his hair or rubbing his arms soothingly.

"Goodnight Haru. Sweet dreams," Makoto whispered, placing a soft kiss on his left eyebrow, the one who now held a small scar. "I`ll get the others out and clean up, then I`ll also come," even if Haru couldn`t hear him Makoto felt more reassured when he had told him what he had planned, just in case actually heard it.

I love you


The first day at school was hard as well. First of all it wasn`t designed to be handicap friendly, so it made moving around very difficult. But his very own Gentle Giant took care of it. Whenever they had to scale some stairs, Makoto would lift Haru up and carry him while Rei took the wheelchair. Haru didn`t particularly mind, but he still felt a little uncomfortable with all the trouble he caused.

Makoto had told him many times that he wanted to do it, that he didn`t want Haru to suffer. He also said he wouldn`t want anyone else to carry him, he was the only one allowed. This was something the two of them shared, they were both very possessive. No one would believe that when they first meet the khaki haired male, but it`s true. He like everyone else has other feelings except happiness.

This is one of the reasons why Haru like Makoto so much. Since he isn't perfect and he has no need to be perfect either. And the only one who knows all of Tachibana Makoto is Nanase Haruka.

It was during that night that Haru realized something. He was wrapped tightly in Makoto`s arms, he didn`t know whether or not their legs were tangled like they usually were, but that didn`t cross his mind just then. Silent tears escaped his cerulean orbs and he began to shake slightly. He hadn`t meant for the brunet to wake, but a gentle kiss to his ear alerted him to the presence of a sleepy Makoto.

"What is it?" he asked gently, brushing away some stray hairs that fell into Haru`s face. The rvanette only shook his head viciously and buried his head in Makoto`s chest, gripping him tightly as the revelation swiveled inside his head.

Makoto is my ocean. My freedom. My soul.

I love you


It was finally time for the first swimming practice to take place. Haru had his swim trunks on and Makoto lowered him onto the floor just beside the pool. With every touch filled with love, the back stroker lifted Haru`s legs into the water and let them rest against the side of the pool.

"You alright here Haru? You call me if you need anything alright?" he asked, slight concern in his voice, but the former swimmer only gave him a tiny smile, "I want to see Makoto swim," he stated, as if it was the simples thing in the world. A warm smile radiated of the taller male as he gave Haru a quick peck, "ok," he said softly before walking towards the start polls.

Haru had been truthful when he spoke. He really did want to watch as Makoto swam, see how beautifully he moved through the water and pretend that he too could be with him. With a small sigh he tore his eyes away, instead he let them fall on his legs. It was almost agonizing as he sat there. He was in it yet he could not feel a thing. The world was cruel in its mockery.

A pale hand carefully dove into the water and when it rose a small waterfall of chlorinated water cascaded from his palm, leaving behind small droplets in its wake. It was ironic really. How the person who wanted to swim just to feel the freedom it gave him ended up not even feeling the precious substance he loved so much.

Eventually swim practice ended and his friends exited the pool and walked over to him talking excitedly. "Hey Haru! How`re you feeling?" Rin asked with his normal grin plastered over his face. "Fine," was the curt answer and Makoto smiled sadly.

"Haru? Would you like to swim with me?" the proposal shocked the small group and they looked at Makoto incredulously. Haru on the other hand looked at his lover with wide eyes. A quick nod had the brunette smiling widely. "Come on then," he said and slipped into the pool, hanging onto the side so he could help the ravenette into the water.

When he was Makoto slipped an arm around his waist and Haru`s own wound around his neck, but the latter didn`t care at all. No the happiness radiating from Haru was more than enough as Makoto swam backwards, keeping the shorter male tightly against his chest.

"You are so beautiful when in the water, did you know that?" Makoto`s meek voice asked lowly, forest green eyes molded with cerulean and Haru could spot so much love and affection it felt like he could drown in it. He wouldn`t mind if he did.

"I could say the same to you," he replied, mirroring the look he was receiving and his forehead met a slightly tanner one. Makoto`s chuckle was heavenly and Haru drank it up greedily. The giant bear of a man pecked the pale former swimmer on the nose and just continued basking in Haru`s presence, not caring if the others were watching or not.

I love you


Slowly life was getting into place for Haru. He was getting used to how he had to crane his neck to see others, he had gotten used to how people would stare at him and he had gotten used to having to need help all the time. He didn`t like it, but it was how it was and Makoto was still by his side.

Makoto was all that mattered, for as long as the giant stayed by his side he could get through this.

They had done a lot of fun stuff lately, going to the movies, going to different festivals, going to amusement parks and aquariums. Haru didn`t really have the time to be bored. They also took him to a zoo and he was allowed to hold a baby seal. For some reason the small creature had bonded with the raven haired teen was very sad when they had to go.

Makoto surprised him a few days later when he took him back and he was allowed to play with it. All in all? Haru was feeling great. Maybe not perfect, but great. That was until he heard the news.

"You`re saying he could walk again?" Makoto asked, stunned yet the excitement prickled through him. "Yes. After many check-ups and a couple more x-rays we have reached the conclusion that we could restore his ability to walk again," the doctor said formally. Haru couldn`t understand what he was hearing. He could walk again? The helplessness he felt was that similar to a child.

Who could blame him? He had finally been able to settle down with the belief he would never rise again, and now this man was telling him otherwise? He was telling him he once more could walk beside Makoto, swim beside Makoto. If this was another trick from the world it was not a funny one. "Is there a hatch?" Haru could see the fear in his lovers eyes as his hand squeezed a little harder around his own, but who wouldn`t? There was always a hatch to things like this.

The doctor paused. "Unfortunately yes. There is a 40/60 percent survival rate on this particular operation seeing as it is very delicate. If there is any complications there would be nothing else we could do. A sharp intake of breath and a quiet; "Oh God," from Makoto was the only thing heard in the now silent room.

"Haru, you can`t! You can`t take it!" Makoto pleaded, but they both knew it was futile as the kind hearted man broke into tears, clinging to Haru like he would just float away and disappear there and then. "I`m sorry Makoto," Haruka said softly, letting his fingers glide through soft treces of hair. "When can I have it?" he asked the doctor, but for Makoto it was like a faint echo, like he was under water and everything was muffled.

He had a bad feeling about this. A really bad one.

I`m sorry. I love you


Makoto was out shopping. Today was the day Haru would be discharged from the hospital again. He was finally able to walk a little bit and he was ready to be taken home. To say he was excited was an understatement, it was almost thrumming through him like a humming bee. "Are you looking for anything in particular Sir?" the saleswoman asked kindly, clearly noticing the happy vibes radiating from the large man`s form.

"Oh! Yes, I am in fact looking for a pair of Claddagh rings," he said smiling widely. "Are you then by any chance Tachibana Makoto?" she asked, and the brunet nodded. "I have them right here Sir," she said politely, fishing forth two small boxes. This one I believe is yours," the clerk said, opening one of them to show a beautiful white ring. Two hands were shown cradling a sea blue heart, a crown was placed on top of it and Makoto couldn`t help but marvel at the beauty it radiated.

"This is amazing," he breathed, slipping the ring onto his right hand`s ring finger. The heart and crown was pointed towards his body and he raised his hand to take a closer look at it. Small waves were carved into the ring and Makoto was sure Haru would love them.

"Do you know about the meaning behind the Claddagh ring?" the woman asked curiously, earning a brilliant smile in return. "Yes, I have read about them and I`m about to go surprise my boyfriend," he explained paying for the expensive wares. "That`s very sweet," the store clerk cooed waving him good bye and wishing him good luck.

This was how Makoto went, walking down the street with Haru`s ring in his pocket, humming a song his mother sung to him as a child. People who saw him walking down the street couldn`t keep the smiles of their faces, he was just too happy. An old lady chuckled as she was helped across the street and said: "You go to him quickly yeah?"

The brunet teen looked at her in confusion before his face lightened up like a thousand suns. "Yeah," his voice was forever soft, but the edge was there, the edge of Love as Haru had said once. Makoto wasn`t really sure why he said it, he just had one of those very sappy moments.

Makoto was helping a girl when it happened, someone shouted and another screamed. The gentle giant that was Makoto didn`t feel the pain as something slammed into him, shaking his very form and bringing him down. He didn`t know that the one screaming had been the girl and that she had been screaming someone's name. Telling whoever it was to stop.

It only took a few small seconds for this to happen. It only took one man to bring the world crashing down. It only took to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. To not be close or far enough. It only took one bullet to take down what could be considered the gentlest creature on earth. It only took one misunderstanding.

It only took a few, small seconds.


Haru walked out of the hospital. He walked. He felt the ground through his shoes and socks. Felt how harsh it was on his legs. He readjusted his grip on the crutches, and his eyes scanned the area, looking for that one particular person.

A frown worried marred his normally straight face, he didn`t quite know what this churning feeling was. The piercing wail of sirens dragged him out of his stupor and he watched as an ambulance shot towards the ER. For some reason he really wanted to just walk back in again now. To just sit there and wait, wait where it`s safe.

But he didn`t Makoto was coming to pick him up. He apparently had a surprise for him, and Haru was kind off looking forward to it even though he didn`t really care for presents or surprises. So he stood there, weight leaning heavily on the metal crutches in his whitened grip. He really should go inside, right? But still he hesitated. What if Makoto came and he wasn`t here? Wouldn`t he be worried then?

Haru didn`t want Makoto to worry, so he ignored his gut and continued to scan the area, waiting to see a glimpse of khaki colored hair. His stomach had started to hurt now, and his head was fuzzy. The outline of his vision was slightly blurry and the heavy thumping of his heart felt unnatural. Almost painful. Haru tilted forward slightly, breath coming in short pants as his chest constricted and an agonizing feeling tore through him.

He felt so heavy when he fell, so heavy as if the world was trying to crush him. But it was gentle in a way, as if saying; "You can let go now. It`s alright, I got you." But Haru couldn`t let go. He didn`t want to let go. He wanted to be with Makoto, to swim with Makoto, to grow old with Makoto. But the pain, it was so strong. Wouldn`t it be easier to just let go? To finally rest? But Makoto.

Haru didn`t register when they moved him. Or even who "they" were. He only registered, in the few small seconds when he passed one of the ER rooms, a familiar shape.

Ah. So that`s why it hurts so much.

Haruka felt a small, loving smile tug his lips upwards underneath the oxygen mask. I love you. Always and forever. The thought floated into the air, floated into space and who knows where else, but Haru knew, he knew Makoto could hear him.

I love you

It only took a few small seconds for their eyes to meet. It only took a few small seconds for their gazes to tell. Tell everything that had been left unspoken. It only took a few small seconds for their hearts to stop beating. It only took a few small seconds to close their eyes and finally, finally let go, to finally rest. Finally they could be together.

For Always and forever.


A/N

This is dedicated to my demanding Husbando going under the nickname Hallahoot. She made me write this but I must say it didn`t turn out like I thought. Hopefully It suites your tastes. Angst isn`t my best genre, but oh well.

Disclaimer: Free! or any of its characters sadly doesn`t belong to me, I merely wrote a story with them in it. Thank you for reading.

Have a continued good day/night/week. Stay safe.

CNI signing out.