Title: Going Down
Author: Lisa M
Pairing: BJ/Hawkeye
Rating:M - slash!
Disclaimer: Nope...don't own anything. Don't sue...no money.
Archive: Anywhere...just let me know.
Feedback: Would be, like, totally awesome!
Summary: Why spoil it?

A/N: No beta...any errors are mine, and I apologize for them. This is a PWP and a complete work of smut with a capital SMUT. If you don't go for that sort of thing, don't read it. It's also probably way OOC, but it was fun to write...so wheeeeee!


"So?"

"So, what?"

"How was it?"

"You know, I really don't think that it needs to be talked about."

"Stop being such a baby and tell me, Hawk."

"Well, I'll say this much," Hawkeye cleared his throat and ran the back of his hand across his mouth. "It wasn't awful. I guess all it needs is a little salt...pepper...mustard, ketchup, sauce...taste."

"What?"

"Sorry," Hawkeye said with a laugh. "Trap used to say that on the days when mystery meat was served in the mess tent."

"Trap?"

"Yeah. Trapper. Trapper John McIntire. The doctor you replaced. I may have mentioned him once or twice."

"I know who Trapper is, Hawkeye." BJ snapped.

"He used to say it all the time. Then he'd be in the latrine for the rest of the night. That mystery meat never really agreed with Trap."

"You are quoting Trapper...here? Now?"

"Oh, baby. Don't you be jealous of little old Trapper." Hawkeye used the coy voice he knew BJ couldn't resist. "You know I only wuv you."

BJ pulled Hawkeye's face close to his own. He pressed his lips roughly against the older doctor's. BJ could still taste himself on his friend's tongue. He pulled away and smiled.

"I forgive you. This time." BJ paused, his smile widened. "And be nice. It's not like we're talking about mystery meat here, my friend. We're discussing the taste of a certain part of my body."

"My absolute favorite part!" Hawkeye teased, batting his eyelashes at BJ.

"Oh, I see. You only want me for my body!"

"You know I do."

"You're such a slut, Hawk."

"Only for you."

"Uh huh."

"Besides, you know I want you for your mind, too. Your body's just more fun to play with."

"Yeah, I remember how much fun you had playing with it last night." BJ ran his hand over Hawkeye's arm and down along his hip. "I've been walking around all day today looking like I'd borrowed Sophie and rode her around all night!"

Hawkeye burst into laughter.

"If everyone only knew that I was your horse."

"Don't joke. I think I have saddle sores."

"Awwwwwwwwwww. Poor Beej! Do your boo boo's need some kisses from the doctor?"

"You should've thought about that when you were down there. Multi-tasking is definitely not one of your stronger points, Hawk."

"I'll keep that in mind next time."

"Next time? There's going to be a next time."

"Sure. Probably sooner than you think." Hawkeye said as he placed his hand where his mouth had been only minutes ago. "You don't seem to mind, and I'm feeling overly generous today. Besides, why wouldn't I do it again?"

"Oh, well, how about 'a little salt...pepper...blah blah Trapper'!"

"Have I ever told you how pretty you look when you're mocking me?" Hawkeye began kissing a line down BJ's stomach.

"No, you haven't."

"We you do."

BJ grabbed Hawkeye by the hair and pulled him upward so their bodies were aligned. Their lips met, crushing together passionately. Tongues danced against teeth. They broke and both gasped for air.

"Why don't you let me have a try at that?"

"But, Beej...I was already on my way down to..."

BJ used his superior strength and size and flipped Hawkeye onto his back.

"Pass the salt."

The End


A/N3:
Now, I know that this kind of malarkey couldn't really happen. I mean, they couldn't just be laying around doing this to each other at the 4077th. It's not like there are locks on the doors. They'd most likely be caught. But sometimes it's fun to suspend disbelief, you know? Hope you had fun reading!