the next time we wed

or

theseus, newt, leta, and everything in between

...

Newt had always been the person that Theseus cared about the most, even when the younger Scamander felt as though his older brother was nearly a stranger to him.

Theseus did envy his little brother to a certain degree. Granted, he had always been the more popular, top student sort of teenager, but what fascinated him the most about Newt was that he had never needed to feel liked or validated by his peers, and therefore never really cared about his school grades (which wasn't to say that he didn't care about doing well in his classes — he was always willing to learn and was endlessly curious about everything around him), whereas Theseus had adopted those two things as his personal trademark over the course of the years. Their mother would always hug him and smother his cheeks with kisses whenever their school marks were owled to their little house in East Sussex, whereas Newt's were usually received with reproachful sighs and overenthusiastic comments from their father about how he could have worked harder on his History of Magic essays instead of staying outside all day with his 'little beasts', or how he should be perfectly capable of using that spell just because his older brother had mastered it before turning twelve. Newt just did a feeble smile and went outside to take care of his creatures, which he seemed to like better than most people around him. Theseus knew that his brother could have been a top student or perhaps even a Prefect like himself if he had wanted to try, but he also knew that Newt had never felt as though he owed anything to anybody and even seemed to spurn at the idea of wanting or even needing any sort of power, so Theseus was usually the first one to go up to him and congratulate him for his O's in Care of Magical Creatures and Defence Against the Dark Arts in spite of the general mediocreness of the rest of his grades.

Newt's lips would always twitch into a small smile and then he'd whisper, "S'okay, Thee."

Theseus never really knew what his little brother meant by that. Was it okay that their parents grew warier and warier with every step that Newt took towards making a living of those little creatures that he was able to read like a book, even when he was absolutely terrible at understanding his peers? Was it okay that he hadn't been able to blend into the school's standards like Theseus had and had become some sort of an outcast over the course of the years? He would never get an answer from someone as cryptic as Newt, but Theseus eventually learned to accept that the bond that he shared with his younger brother was far from an ordinary one. They would never discuss how they felt about the girls that they were with, and they most definitely would not play Quidditch together or go for a Butterbeer together on a Hogsmeade weekend like some of his friends did with their younger siblings. But Theseus loved Newt, and he knew that Newt loved him too, and that was more than enough.

Or at least it seemed like it was.

···

There was something about Newt that nagged at the back of Theseus's mind ever since his little brother had first arrived at Hogwarts, though. The eleven-year-old didn't have many friends, but he usually spent most of his spare time with a Slytherin girl that virtually everyone in the castle seemed to know about — her name was Leta Lestrange and even though she looked nothing like her whiter, more menacing cousins, there was still something about her that made most of the girls in her year turn their noses up at her and had most of the boys chuckling under their breaths whenever she was involved in a fight. Leta might have been a short, scrawny-looking girl, but that didn't mean she wasn't one of the fiercest human beings that Theseus had ever come across — the boy had found her fascinating ever since the first time he had talked to her, after Newt clumsily introduced him as his older brother to his new friend. Theseus was only able to shake his hand before the girl's attention drifted back to Newt's shoulder, where one of his new little creatures bounced happily — in a matter of seconds, they had both said hasty goodbyes to him before running off to feed the little creature, leaving a twelve-year-old Theseus feeling both perplexed by his brother's endlessly unorthodox ways, but also fascinated by the girl who had just been introduced to him. Being the child that he still was, though, he was quick to ward the girl off his thoughts and saunter off to play Quidditch with his friends.

He did, however, feel a little twinge of excitement in his belly whenever Leta flashed a discreet smile towards him in the school's hallways, and as the years went by Theseus found himself thinking about her more and more often, just as Newt and Leta grew closer than ever.

By the time he turned sixteen, Theseus felt almost certain that the two of them had a thing going on because of how Newt would spend days on end writing short letters to her and how Leta's entire face seemed to smile whenever Newt was around. And Theseus was happy for his little brother, of course. He was quick to accept it, or at least to tell himself that he had no saying in whether his little brother and a girl he only knew through him could be together. He knew that they were both happy, and even smiled a little when Newt shyly told him that he'd invited Leta to the Yuletide Ball. Or rather, that Leta had told him that they were going together and that there was no way Newt was sneaking out of it. Theseus just grinned and hugged his younger brother like he always did, because deep down he knew that the way Newt smiled whenever he talked about Leta was worth him remaining quiet about how he felt about her.

It still hurt a little when he saw her in that purple dress and she smiled at him as brightly as she always did, only to wrap her arm around a giddy-looking Newt's a second later.

So yes, there was something that Newt had beat him to, regardless of how oblivious their parents were to it. The twinge that he felt whenever Leta was around was now a very different one — it reminded him of the impossibility of his feelings being reciprocated, and of how the cherish that he should have shared with his little brother about the first girl that he had fallen in love with was sometimes overshadowed by the idea of what might have happened if Newt and Leta had never met and Theseus had befriended her instead. He saw other girls (in a quite insubstantial way, but still saw other girls nevertheless), focused on the bright future that everyone seemed to predict for him, and tried not to think about her too much — and, in spite of everything, he still found himself wishing to be in Newt's skin more than once or twice, in spite of their parents' reproachful glances and how most of his classmates mocked his clumsy ways and how he practically stammered through entire sentences whenever he was feeling uncomfortable. Because at the end of the day he had Leta by his side, and she was, in Theseus's lovesick eyes, worth all the suffering that his little brother went through.

But then Newt got expelled at the end of his Fifth Year, and he and Leta gradually drifted apart, and everything changed again.

Theseus knew that there was something wrong as soon as he detected the unease that fell upon Newt whenever their mother asked about Leta. The girl hadn't sent him a single letter since he left school, but Newt only shrugged and muttered something about her being busy and concerned about her O.W.L.s, his tone always cautious and unsure of what to say. Theseus knew better than to think that his little brother felt upset about not going back to school — he liked Dumbledore's classes and roaming through the school grounds, yes, but he would never make a fuss about a decision that had already been set in stone. He found himself spending an increasing amount of time with his brother, helping him take care of his little creatures and allowing Newt to quietly open up to the older brother that Theseus wanted to be for him. Their bond tightened, and before the holidays were over Theseus realized that they had landed themselves into some sort of strange friendship — and that they made each other happy when no one else would, which was what mattered the most.

That was why he felt even guiltier when Leta walked up to him on their first day at Hogwarts, after having avoided Newt at Platform Nine-And-Three-Quarters as Theseus bid goodbye to him and his parents, probably seeking comfort from someone who knew Newt nearly as well as she did. Theseus asked no questions when the girl smiled sadly at the thought of her best friend spending an entire year on his own, and he slowly found himself letting her roam through his everyday life as the two of them talked about Newt, school, how everything was changing really fast for the two of them and how they felt as though the Muggle world was crumbling into pieces as they went about their days pretending to know nothing about it. She slowly became a part of his life, and not just some friend of his brother's, and he liked to think that she felt the same way about him.

He also noticed that the happy twinge to his belly that had faded out over the previous year came back whenever Leta was around, especially when she joined him at the library or at the Quidditch field and simply chatted with him for a bit, even going as far as cracking a joke every now and then. She made his days brighter, less monochromatic than they had been for the previous six years, and he found himself smiling at every little new detail that he learned about her. He laughed at the way she was incapable of drinking Butterbeer without leaving some foam on her nose, or how she would always be the first one to start a snowball fight as son as a few patches of white snow covered the castle grounds. Newt's presence hung in the air between them, but they gradually drifted away from talking about him and instead replaced all those glum walks by the lake with brighter conversations concerning their hopes, dreams and ambitions, which made Theseus realize that Leta was even bolder than the girl he had made her out to be when she was friends with his brother. She was smart, ambitious, tremendously empathic and, surprisingly enough, quite the idealist, and Theseus couldn't help but marvel at how firm her ideals and convictions were in spite of having only just turned seventeen. She was soft-spoken yet determined; receptive but incredibly blunt when it came to arguing about things that she firmly believed in. And Theseus found himself realizing that he had fallen in love with her (if he had ever fallen out of love with her in the first place, that is) before Christmas rolled around.

That was why he didn't feel even remotely guilty about spending nearly every single day with his brother's best friend until their first kiss was over, right by the lake, and saw the tears in Leta's eyes.

"I'm not sure if I can do this yet," she whispered, her gaze lowering to her shoes.

Theseus's chest sank, but he ultimately nodded and quietly rubbed the tears away from her cheeks with his thumbs. "I understand. Don't worry. There's no rush."

"You're Newt's brother, Theseus," she said, almost falteringly. "I can't imagine how he'd feel if he ever found out that we've been fooling around while he's . . . alone, and probably a little scared, even if he refuses to acknowledge it. This isn't right."

Theseus knew that it probably wasn't, but he still found himself wrapping his arms around Leta as his mind flew back to his little brother, who had probably kissed her first, who could have never imagined that his older brother had never wanted anything the way he wanted the girl that Newt might even still be in love with. But he was also tired of hiding, of pretending he didn't mind, and that was why he pressed a kiss to the girl's forehead and hugged her tighter as the first snowflakes of the day grazed their heads.

"We'll figure something out, I promise," he whispered, and smiled as Leta nodded and nuzzled into his Ravenclaw jumper.

He could only hope that they were making the right choice. And that it wouldn't hurt too much if Newt ever found out.


so yeah, i saw fantastic beasts 2 the other day and i can't even put into words how amazing it was. the hpu makes me so happy wtf. also i just so happened to fall in love with theseus and his relationship with leta and how it all went back to newt so! i needed to write some angsty shit on it! so yes please lmk whether you enjoyed it and idk just expect more fbeasts-related crap coming soon from yours truly.

also theseus's a ravenclaw! fight me.