Smut University Pre-Assignment

We were lying in his bed. Just simply, innocently, lying in his bed. Except his intentions weren't so innocent. I didn't know what I was feeling, since I never had been in this position before. I was conflicted, definitely. Uneasy, was also something I was feeling. Maybe I was even scared and nervous, or shocked or unprepared. Yes, I would say unprepared summed it all up. I was definitely unprepared to lose my virginity. I mean, I was fifteen; I was old enough to experience hot, steamy, luscious sex, right?

I was sure I loved him. So, if you love someone, it's okay to have sex with them, right? My mom told me when a man and woman loved each other – NO! This is not the appropriate time to be thinking about what my mom saidor about my mom in general. This is about me, making a decision.

I wasn't sure how to react to his actions. I didn't know what I should do. Am I supposed to hold onto his head when sucked on my nipples? Ha, ha, it kind of tickled. Am I allowed to laugh? That thought scared me because I really didn't want to do or say the wrong thing. But it tickled so damn much! I couldn't help but let out a little giggle.

"Something funny?" Edward asked, looking up at me from my chest. He was smiling, so that was a good sign. Maybe I hadn't messed up after all. I relaxed a little as Edward removed my shirt and bra completely. He moved on to sucking on my other breast. This one didn't tickle as much as the other one did. It actually felt... good. Good in a sinful, keep-doing-it way. He kept circling his tongue around my hardened nipples, occasionally nipping at it with his teeth. I made a small moan, which surprised me. I didn't know where it came from.

"You like that, Bella?" Edward asked. I didn't know what to say so I just smiled. People didn't talk while they had sex, did they? At least you didn't see them talk in movies.

Edward kept circling and swirling his tongue around my breast until he bit it. I yelped at the pain it caused, yet at the same time, I felt something ignite between my legs. It was a good feeling, a feeling I hadn't felt prior to now. It was, passion, desire, hunger for whatever Edward had in store for me, and whatever it was, I wanted it now.

He ignored my yelp and kept sucking and biting at my breasts, moving more aggressively, causing me to writhe underneath him. I bucked my hips as he moved up to my face to kiss me. We kissed for a long time, moving back and forth, back and forth. I could feel a slight bump where his... manparts... should be. I decided it was time to just do it. Why not experience what love really is?

We stopped kissing, coming up for air. "You ready for this?" he asked. I nodded my head, still unable to talk. He got up and walked over to his dresser. He opened the top draw and pulled out a condom, sliding it on himself easily. He climbed back next to me, unbuttoning my jeans and pulling them off. It was awkward and clumsy, but he eventually got them off and threw them on the floor. He pulled my underwear off easier than he did my pants.

He hoisted himself over me, lining up with my entrance. "This might hurt,but try to push through the pain because it will start to feel good."

I braced myself for the pain that Edward said I could experience... but it never came. I immediately thought there was something wrong with me. However, when I looked up at his face, he seemed to be enjoying himself. I wanted to know how it felt to him, since I couldn't feel a thing. He was moving slowly at first, then started to move fast, then even faster. I knew he was inside me, he was moving back and forth, in and out, but I didn't know why his face was contorting into such pleasurable looking expressions. I felt a slight movement inside me, then all of a sudden, Edward stopped moving and he laid his sweaty form on top of me. He was panting heavily, and I was confused.

Why hadn't I felt anything? Was I too loose? Could that even be possible when I'd never had sex before?

"How was it?" he asked. He expected me to answer that?

"Um," I said. It came out kind of quivery.

"That good?" He asked, grinning before getting up to go dispose of the condom. I saw the tip of the condom looked larger than before. Was that his load? I nodded, unable to tell him the truth. How do you tell they guy you're in love with that the only thing you felt was him coming into the condom? How do you tell him that you didn't feel a thing when you had sex with him? If this is what love was really like, I never wanted to experience it again. I was so disappointed, in the experience, and in myself. I know now that I should have waited. Maybe I should have listened to my mother.