"Shall I believe that unsubstantial death is amorous, and that the lean abhorred monster keeps thee here in dark to be his paramour? For fear of that I still will stay with thee and never from this palace of dim night depart again." Romeo & Juliet. Act V, Scene III.
Though I was a mind-reader, and though Bella was one with whom I could not manage to decipher, I did not need to invade her thoughts to figure out what she wanted. I knew her well enough to guess, had she not begged me time after time before, because what she wanted was exactly what I wanted: to be with her. To have her. Forever. But I could never allow such an omen in her life. I could not doom her to this eternal damnation. I could not take away the very essence that gave me reason for continuing on in this world. My once insignificant existence now held something so precious, so full of worth and love, it would be a sin to take it away.
Glancing at the clock beside her bed, I let out a sigh. Bella would be getting up for school soon, and as unnecessary as it was, I needed to go home and change. For the sake of keeping up the human charade, and to prevent Alice from having a fit about wearing the same thing twice in a row. I grazed my lips over Bella's forehead, lingering for a moment, as I took in her intoxicating scent. The familiar burn scorched through my throat, and I pulled my lips away from her warm skin, letting the monster within me settle. I knew she was lost deep in her sleep and wouldn't be able to hear me regardless, so I decided to silently let out a "Happy birthday, Bella." A small smile spread across my face, and I stood to make my leave...without any protests about celebrating her birthday, thank you very much.
Happy indeed, I agreed, quickly making my way through the thicket of trees and moss known as the Olympic Peninsula. Had it not been for such a day, my love would have never existed. I would be doomed to walk this earth, alone, for as long as eternity went on. Although, I'm sure after a few centuries of emptiness went on, I would've settled on ending the torture once and for all. Before Bella, I had never experienced love. Not really. That isn't to say I don't love my family; I do, very much so, and I know that love is reciprocated, but before Bella came into my dull life...there really was nothing keeping me here. I knew it would break Esme's heart if anything ever happened to me, which is the only reason I decided to stay. Though there were many times I had thought of an out before, but no longer. My only reason to stay now, the only thing keeping me here, was the very soul that was born eighteen years ago on this day. My Bella. How she could ever resent me for thinking it as a joyful day was beyond my ability to comprehend.
As I dodged the trees, with little effort, they began to thin out and the familiar scent of home came into grasp. I slowed to a stop as I reached the eave of the house I had come to know as home these past few years. The voices immediately erupted into my head like a volcano, the faces and names flowing down like ash. The silent mind of one was now replaced by the chatty minds of six. I sighed, reaching for the doorknob, knowing Alice would be too busy to even notice my entrance, when it flew open. A dash of black hair flew back to its earlier place without a simple "hello."
Stepping into the house, it was just as I expected. Alice was going overboard; even I couldn't help but admit that. Jasper was following closely behind her, helping when instructed to do so, but mostly staying out of her way...much like the rest of my family. Em and Rose had escaped to their bedroom, while Carlisle and Esmé were expertly wrapping presents in silver paper, attaching bows where they saw fit. Forcibly, no doubt, by Alice. Carlisle looked up, acknowledging me with a gentle smile, and returned to the task at hand.
Before I could open my mouth to object, Alice interrupted me. "Now remember," she said sternly as she flitted around the house, scattering frilly pink material and flowers here and there. "She will be trying to avoid this party as much as possible," She pinned the last of the pink streamers to the wall, then turned to face me, glowering. "So I won't have you letting her get her way this time, no matter what. She's having this party." I rolled my eyes, finding her attempt at a threat amusing.
"Alice, perhaps choosing to skip the party this year might be best. Besides, you can give her all the hell of it next year, I promise." I chuckled, ruffling her spiky hair, and headed to the stairs. I could feel her glare burning into my back, along with an I'll give you hell for it now. My lips twitched, fighting a smile as I turned back to her. Her face was in what seemed to be a permanent pout, her tiny hands on her hips as she glanced briefly at her hard work and dedication in the decorations. With a sigh, I explained, "You know Bella...she doesn't like the attention." Though that won't stop me from giving it to her, I added mentally with a satisfied grin. Bella wasn't the only one who could be stubborn.
Alice was about to object, but decided not to speak and turned her back to me, trying to obscure her previous thoughts. I managed to make out what she was going to say: This could be her last chance to have a birthday party. With that, a defensive growl rumbled from inside my chest. Alice spun around and raised her hands in defense. "I'm so scared," she teased, rolling her eyes. "It's going to happen, Edward." She let out a small sigh. Sooner or later, she added solemnly. I clenched my teeth together, answering her thoughts aloud, "I would prefer later."
In my frustration, I threw on the first few items of clothing my hands touched-a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a light grey jacket-and stormed out the door. It was still early; far too early to go to school, but not early enough for Charlie to have already left for work. Grabbing the keys to my Volvo, I let out a sigh of defeat and decided to use this extra time to do a little hunting. I had already hunted the night before, but ever since the night when I almost drained every last drop of blood from Bella's body, I've realized that it's better to be overfed than sorry. And I've never been more sorry than I was on that night. I promised myself that I would never lose control like that again.
It wasn't long until a stray deer came across my path; I fed until there was nothing more but skin and bones to the poor, unsuspecting animal. I had never really been much of a vegetarian in the human sense of the word, but I still felt a shred of guilt every time I murdered anything with a heartbeat. Unbeknownst to the human world, vampires are the leading cause to most animal extinctions. Still, there was nothing more satisfying than the sweet, metallic taste of hot blood spilling into my inflamed throat, filling me up and warming me within.
After doing some minimal damage control to my appearance (I was usually very neat when it came to feeding, but now and then a few drops of blood would fall somewhere questionable), I hopped into my car and started making my way towards Forks High School. I had only driven a short distance when the familiar red Jeep came into view in front of me. Normally I would have had Alice or Jasper accompany me on the drive to school, but today everyone had piled into Emmett's car, which I was thankful for. I needed the peace and quiet-as quiet as it could be for someone like me-to clear my head. For one, I decided to forgive Alice. After all, she is not at fault for having her gift of seeing any more than I am at fault for having my gift of hearing. She was right, unfortunately; Bella wanted to be one of us, and would no doubt do everything in her power to become one of us. But that didn't mean that I wouldn't do everything in my power to prolong that from happening for as long as possible.
We pulled into the small school parking lot and took the first two open spots we could find. I did a quick survey of the lot, slowly filling up with the cars of the Forks High student population, and frowned. Bella hadn't arrived yet, no doubt because she was probably trying to kill time at home so there would be less of a chance for people to greet her in the morning. I smirked at that thought. Sometimes she could be so absurd; it only made me be drawn to her more.
I stood silently as we waited, opting to lean against the small car to portray the human effect of my legs being tired after waiting for so long, though that was hardly the case. Alice, however, was nearly bouncing up and down with excitement. I glanced down to the small silver box in her hand and shook my head, "You know she won't take that, Alice." She froze, and turned to me with a look of provoking terror, and rolled her eyes. She turned her attention back to the entrance of the parking lot, and I watched as her face went blank, her mind filling with a vision. After a nano-second, she blinked and her smile brightened. "She'll be here soon." She chimed. I couldn't help but feel that same excitement spread through me, though mine wasn't in cause of her birthday; it was because I would grace my sights with my beautiful Bella yet again.
The rusty old Chevy groaned as it pulled to a stop in front of us; I really wish she would let me buy her a car that wasn't likely to die within the week. She grabbed her backpack from the passenger seat and threw it over her shoulder, walking towards us warily. Alice flitted towards her on cue, her face glowing. "Happy Birthday, Bella!"
"Shh!" I listened as Bella scolded Alice, finding it oddly entertaining. Alice, dismissing Bella's objection, started to make her way towards the rest of us, Bella close at her side as if to prevent her from making any other sort of fuss that might draw attention to herself. "Do you want to open your present now or later?" Alice beamed. I knew what Bella's answer would be, and I had no doubt Alice did as well, yet she was hopeful she'd change her mind anyway.
"No presents." Bella insisted. "Okay...later, then." I let out a chuckle far too soft for anyone to hear. Alice wasn't taking the hint too easily. "Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?" I had to admit, she was persistent. "Yeah. They're great." "I think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once. Might as well document the experience," Alice added. Bella quickly countered that: "How many times have you been a senior?" She had a point there. The only documentation we had of our definitely-more-than-once senior years were the plethora of graduation caps Esmé had plastered on our wall. "That's different," she frowned. A smile grew on my face. Bella never ceased to impress me.
As they inched closer, I extended my hand out to Bella, anxious to feel the familiar warmth of her skin against mine. She took my hand in hers without a second thought, the heat from her soft flesh immediately radiating throughout my icy skin. Very gently, I gave her hand a light squeeze, just as her chocolate-brown eyes met mine. The faintest jump of her heart sounded through my ears, and my smile widened. That was a sound I would never bore of hearing.
Bringing myself closer, my eyes quickly flashed to her plump lips, then back to her eyes, and I brought my hand up to trace the delicate outline of her lips, memorizing the unique offset shape of them.
"So, as discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?" "Yes. That is correct," she said, matter-of-factly. "Just checking." I dropped my hand from her face and re-positioned it in my hair, pushing the bothersome locks into place. "You might have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts." Though, Bella wasn't most people. Alice's laugh echoed through my ears, "Of course you'll enjoy it. Everyone is supposed to be nice to you and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?"
"Getting older," Bella retorted. Without my consent, my smile faded away and hardened into a thin line. "Eighteen isn't very old," Alice shot back. "Don't women usually wait till they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?"
"It's older than Edward," she said firmly. I sighed. The age was what really bothered Bella; I knew that now. But what did it matter, really? I was one-hundred-and-nine.
"Technically. Just by one little year, though." Alice smiled faintly. I studied Bella's face as she got lost in her thoughts-trying desperately to read her and failing miserably-allowing Alice to change the subject. "What time will you be at the house?" I mellowed out, taking in Alice's chipper tone. "I didn't know I had plans to be there." Alice let out a small groan. "Oh, be fair, Bella! You aren't going to ruin all our fun like that, are you?"
"I thought my birthday was about what I want." I could see where she was going with this, and I intervened before she could continue. "I'll get her from Charlie's right after school," I informed her.
"I have to work," she interjected.
"You don't, actually," chimed Alice. "I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it. She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you 'Happy Birthday.'"
"I-I still can't come over," Bella fumbled with her words, trying to form an acceptable excuse. "I, well, I haven't watched Romeo and Juliet yet for English."
"You have Romeo and Juliet memorized." She really was a terrible liar. "But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it-that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented."
I rolled my eyes. It was a suggestion, not an assignment, and I was almost one-hundred percent convinced she had seen the play before, as was Alice. She confirmed my suspicions: "You've already seen the movie."
"But not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."
"This can be easy, or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other-" Realizing their bickering could go on forever, I intervened. "Relax, Alice. If Bella wants to watch a movie, then she can. It's her birthday."
"So there." I smirked; she was as stubborn as a toddler. "I'll bring her over around seven. That will give you more time to set up." Even I could hear the smugness of the turnover in my voice.
Alice laughed. "Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see."
The smile returned as I watched her go off to her first class, and brought my gaze back to Bella, seeing the pleading in her eyes. "Edward, please-"
I placed one finger to her soft lips to silence her. "Let's discuss it later. We're going to be late for class."
