Hey everyone so this is my first story in a looong time so please read and make sure to leave a review so I can tell what you think! Can't improve if I don't have any notes now can I? This first chapter may be a bit of a bore but it's only the intro and I wanted to get my feelers out there to hear what you think so here we go!!

Intro

I stared at the clock again. 12:39. It had only be 6 minutes since the last time I had checked. I sighed as I sat up knowing that sleep had once again decided to leave me wanting tonight. The silence of the room did nothing to help calm me. I didn't like the silence. It gave me time to remember what I didn't have. It hadn't always been like this. There had been a time when I was genuinely happy. Before, the silence was a welcome reprieve from the excited and chaotic life that I lived. But again that was before..now it just taunts me. Laughing at me silently from the depths of the shadows that filled not only my room, but what seemed to be my soul.

I know your probably sitting here reading this thinking, 'Is this girl insane? What is she doing on about?' Give me a moment and I will explain. My name is Michelle Tenny and I am twenty years old. God, when I say that it makes me feel like I'm standing in front of a group getting ready to announce some sin that I have committed. But back to my explanation. For the past ten years or so I have lived with my family in a small town located in the southern state of South Carolina. It was this town that introduced me to friends that helped give me the confidence and strength to do just about anything. It all started when I got employed at the electronic store that I'd been dying to work at for a while. I had been sixteen. I met Stefanie first. She was a bubbly blond with the personality of a firecracker. Easy to get along with as well as easy to tick off. The came Jason. He was tall, blond, and had the patience of a saint! No matter what we (Stefanie and I) did it never seemed to phase him. These two quickly became my best friends. We did everything together. Getting lunch, going to movies, shopping for bras (Yes ladies Jason tagged along for that too!) It hurt when Stef moved back to New Jersey to be with her father and Jason did his best to cheer me up. We hung out more and we became alot closer. We would get together and sit in the dark, having intense conversations about everything. Life, music,
the probability of alternate universes that if in our world we chose oj, then in the other we chose milk. Everything. The darkness was our comfort zone. It was just us. No yelling customers, no drunk friends hanging off us, no blaring music. Just us. We came to know alot about each other. We knew each other inside and got to the point where if something was wrong, we could tell. We didn't have to talk to each other to know. We just did. We grew together, taking life in strides. Sometime we were walking,
sometimes we were running, and sometimes it seemed as though life decided to shove us down some gigantic cliff that made us feel as though we were on a rollercoaster that went one way. Down.

Weeks, months and finally years were spent together making us stronger as individuals and as friends. Family. He encouraged my dream of music and took me out to night clubs with open mike night and karaoke. We were almost inseparable. Of course every now and again we would bump heads and we would try to wait until the other would admit they were being a dumb ass but we would always end up laughing about it days, if not minutes later.

I had been at work when it happened, the feeling coming over me quickly. It was the same feeling when I got when something was wrong with Jason. Only now it was worse..much worse. My coworker Jennifer could tell something was wrong. She quickly informed the manager that I was sick and I left in a hurry to get home so that I could call Jason. It felt like I had fallen into a pool of needles. Thousands of tiny knives stabbing into me, deeper and deeper. Painful and numbing. I couldn't feel anything but the pain and shock. I fell to the floor the phone slipping out of my hand. I could hear the voices of my parents asking me what was wrong. I could hear their voices sounded muffled, far away, as if they were on the phone and had covered the mouthpiece with a sock. They were yelling. Asking me if I was ok. What was wrong? I couldn't say anything. The room began to blur together and I succumbed to the sweet embrace of darkness.

The funeral had been lovely but that was all wasted on me. The entire time I couldn't look up from the polished wood of his coffin. People had talked about what kind of person he had been. Had been. They had told stories about him. I said nothing. Everyone around me was crying into tissues or into the shoulders of loved ones. I did nothing. I had shut down. The pain of losing someone that seemed to complete me was unbearable so I chose not to deal with it. I focused instead on the grains and tried to follow them. I tried to find a pattern in the grain by mentally measuring the distance between each dark line in the wood. I remember looking up when the first measures of his favorite song began playing through the old speaker system of the church. I now hate that reminded me of something I no longer had and I silently counted the seconds until I would be free to leave this horrid place. Once the funeral was over I didn't go to the gathering with everyone else. I went home and sat in my room. I curled onto my bed and stared at the wall in unbearable silence until darkness fell.

I glance at the clock again as the memories leave me. 1:38 glares back at me in a bright blue light. I groan and finally pull myself from the sheets that had tangled themselves around me. I pull on a pair of jeans that are lying on the floor and search for my sweatshirt. I grab my ipod and stuff it in my pocket as I walk out the door, making sure to lock it behind me. As I pull the hoody over my head I glance up at the stars that illuminate night sky. I stick the ear buds into my ears and begin my walk down the street. Its not safe to be out walking this late, or early, but it helps calm me so I ignore the internal warnings to go back and continue walking. Eventually, after what seems to be forever I return home. As I walk back into my room I glance at the clock again and am slightly pleased to see the clock now says 4:02. I pull off the jeans and sweatshirt and fall back into the bed. This time sleeps claims me.