For those few who do not know OOC stands for out of character.

Things in bold print stand for: The Narrator's intervention with the story, text, and a change of scene/date.

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to: Zelda, Batman, Pirates of the Caribbean, Poisoned Lon-Lon Milk, or the Invisible Man.

(Best H.G. Wells book ever!)


Investigation of the OOC: By Typing Typhoon

"Cheers to the Hero of Time!" The king said, raising his glass.

The whole crowd exploded in cheers, as Link stood up, his arms raised.

"Now, let the feast begin!" The king said with great enthusiasm.

The cheers were cut off in an instant and everyone forgot about Link in their desperate struggle to reach the food.

Link sighed and sank back down into his seat. "They throw a huge party for me and the food gets more attention than I do!"

Link grudgingly made his way to the- "They have cupcakes! OH GOODY!"

"Hey! Your supposed to be narrating my depression! GET BACK HERE NARRATOR!" Link shouted.

"THEY'RE CHOCOLATE! OH BOY!" I shouted, that sap can wait a few seconds. I mean seriously, I'm just eating a cup-cake.

Link was not the only resident who wasn't enjoying the party, there are two others...

"Holy crystallized lard puffs Pigeon Man! I think we found him!" A young man in red jump suite and green cape, exclaimed.

"Good work Sparrow, now we wait..." Pigeon Man said, straitening out his dark brown cape.

"That's Captain Jack Sparrow to you..." A pirate said, appearing out of nowhere.

"Holy diseased smurf carcass Pigeon Man, it's Jack Sparrow!" Sparrow exclaimed.

"That's where you're wrong, it is I, Moderately Evil Man! Mwahahahahaha- hack, cough, wheeze...hahahahahahaha!" Jack said, tearing off his costume to reveal: Another jump suite...

"We got you now Moderately Evil Man!" Pigeon Man exclaimed, giving chase.

Moderately Evil Man ran into the street.

"Holy marmalade zombies Pigeon Man, HE'S J-WALKING!"

"It's actually spelled as Jay Walking." Moderately Evil Man said, standing calmly in the middle of he busy street.

"I don't think jay walking should be capitalized." Pigeon Man intervened.

Then Moderately Evil Man ran up the street.

"Holy yeti droppings Pigeon Man, he's getting away!" Sparrow squealed.

They made chase when- "You irreverent &0-#+! GET HIM!" Sparrow was ambushed by a bunch of moblin nuns.

( I do not mean to insult any religeon with this nun joke)

"Holy crates of petrified badgers Pigeon Man! I'm being attacked by moblins!" Sparrow yelled desperately.

"Hahahahahahahahahaha! gasp- Moblin nuns...hahahahahaha!"
Ganondorf appeared out of nowhere, rolling around in the street, laughing with mirth.

Then he was hit by a semi...

The moblins took a moment to pray for his well being, then they returned to mauling Sparrow.

Now, we all know that watching a parody of Robin get mauled by a bunch of deluded moblins would be entertaining, but the story's not about him. Though he does play a bigger part, but that is a different chapter... BACK TO THE CASTLE!

Ty, the camera man, makes his way back to castle when- "Ilia! what are you doing up there?!" Ty asked, astonished.

"I'm instailing an air vents for da king, it gets quite hawrt in there around the summa' time!" Ilia explained from the top of her ladder.

Judging by speech you can tell that Ilia was not the brightest bulb in the box, in fact she's a wet match in a dark cave...

Ty sighed and made his way back inside, astonished by the King's ignorance.

Back at the party:

The party was over, people were already leaving, but a few stayed behind.

"Hey, uh... Mister King, what's your name?" Malon asked, wondering she would get an answer this time.

"I'm afraid I don't have a name... I was by far the coolest character in the game and they never gave me a name."
The king answered, his head in his hands.

"There, there, it's oka-" Malon started...

"The other Kings have names! Like the one in Wind Waker! He had a fancy name! I can't even pronounce it!
Do I get a fancy unpronounceable name? NO! The King Red Lions... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!"
The king moaned on, cutting Malon off mid- sentence.

Link sat there, wondering if there were any cup cakes left when he spotted Talon.

Sitting in a daze with a bottle of Lon-Lon milk perched perilously on the edge of his chair.

"Hey Talon, how's it goin'?"Link asked, trying to start conversation.

"Uugh my head... where am I?" Talon droned, drunk again.

"How do you get drunk off of Lon-Lon milk?" Link asked sceptically.

"Lake Hylia is po- po-" Talon stuttered, on the brink of revealing something important.

"What, what's up with Lake Hylia?" Link asked, hopeful for a reason to start another heroic quest.

Talon passed out.

" Stupid stereo types." Link said, hunting for Malon.

" Hey Malon, what's up with the cows?" Link asked.

"Oh, well our cows are-" She started and-

The lights turned off.

Something was being sprayed, then there was a THUD!, some cursing, and then the lights were turned back on.

Link looked around warily, everything seemed fine until-

The king shall die!

Moderately Evil Man was here.

Link stared at the mysterious, red message which was conveniently placed on the wall next to him.

Then the lights turned off again.
Something brushed passed Link and there was a scream, some swearing and spraying and the lights were turned back on.

The king was gone, Link looked back to the wall.

SEE, I TOLD YA'!

Moderately Evil Man did this.

Everyone screamed, Link swung around and saw a trail of blood that lead to-

"The air vents?" Link murmured, nonplussed.

Then there was a large crash, they were surrounded by the police force and-

2 Hours Later

"Hi, I'm Todd, the new narrator, my predecessor is currently being held on trial so I will be filling in for him."

At the police station...

"This is horrible! We have to catch the killer." Jake the n00b exclaimed.

"I suggest we have Link check it out." John said.

" NO! LINK'S A SUSPECT! REMEMBER?!" Chief Root shouted, turning red.

" Come off it Beetroot, Link , he's not a criminal." John said, sceptical of Root's judgement.

"Don't patronize me John, but don't worry, I already have someone on the case..." Root growled.

As if on cue the door was thrown open and a tall man walked in, he was dressed from his head to his boots.

He even took the time to wrap his face with some sort of tape, you couldn't see a speck of his skin.

"Who are you?" Jake asked.

"Why that is Griffin, the Invisible Man." Root said, with a smug look on his face.

"He looks pretty visible to me chief." Jake said, stupidly...

"I suppose your going to take this as an opportunity to show off, Griffin." Root said irritably.

What's with the outfit anyways?" Jake asked, staring his odd attire.

"Give me a moment n00b..." Griffin hissed.

Griffin's clothes fell to floor.

Jake looked up from the discarded pile.

No one was there.

There seemed to be no bearer of the clothes...

Griffin had disappeared...

"Can you see me now?" Griffin whispered into Jake's ear.

"GHOST!" Jake shrieked, falling off his chair.

Jake passed out...

"Now Griffin, don't go scaring the n00bs again, don't forget, your still a n00b too." John said, lifting Jake back into his chair.

" I've been in the Force for 7 months!" Griffin exclaimed.

" A n00b is a n00b Griffin." John said placidly.

"Enough pleasantries boys, I have a sheet of the top 5 suspects. The more you investigate, the more suspects are added. I expect some results by the end of the week!" Root said briskly, handing Griffin a list of people.

Griffin examined the sheet.


Top Suspects

Link

Linebeck

Navi

Zelda

Talon


Griffin smiled, it was now time to have some fun...


Okay! Now here's your part reader! Send me your choice of the 5 suspects, the one with the most votes will have the next chapter. As characters are eliminated, new suspects will replace them. You may also name future suspects for later chapters. I'm always open for suggestions. Bye!