The following story has no connections with the real Fullmetal Alchemist Doujinshi – Dolce. Although I do use the pages of it as the cover.
What if in this world
Our Doppelganger exists, and their existence
Is fond of our hidden feelings
The snow is crying hard. Fire, no matter how strong – they can't sweep away the coldness.
There's a man standing in front of the fireplace. His black hair… it seems so familiar.
Why isn't he drinking his coffee? Why isn't he listening to the knocking sound?
Why can't my voice get through this door?
Colonel Roy Mustang closed his eyes as the warmth of the fire covered his skin. It was storming this hard too, he thought, when he said that.
Hey colonel, I'm going through the portal. I'm sorry for all the stuffs.
Oy, don't you know..
I know, I can't go back here if I go there.
"He knew," Mustang whispered slowly, anger gushing from his voice, "but he still went there…"
The sound of the door being opened surprised him. From the opening door, a man came in. his golden hair, covered with a red hood… Mustang knows, he never forgets them. Even to the smallest smell of his long-burned nape, he never even once forgets.
"Edward…" Mustang can feel his hands trembling from shock. "How did you get back…?"
The boy stops. "Sorry for the sudden intrusion, colonel." Strange. How did I know his name, even his position?
Mustang sat on the couch, trying to calm his emotion. "How did you get back? Ed, didn't you went to the portal?" his eyes blink for a few second, before he really believes it's Ed. "didn't you say you were going to the next parallel world? Didn't you ̶ ̶ ̶" his words stopped when Ed threw himself towards him, trying to get a hug. "Colonel, it was cold outside. It was really cold…"
Mustang lets his fingers trace down Ed's back. He got much skinnier.
"Colonel, I'm here, aren't I."
Mustang buried his face to Ed's shoulder. I can smell it. His hair, the same as it used to be – his peppermint like smell never changes…
"Colonel?"
"Ed…" Mustang called out the name of the man on his lap. "Ed… I…" his voice got weaker as each word is spoken, yet the trembling didn't stop.
Ed looks at the colonel as if he understands. "I, too, colonel, have been longing to see you again." He said. "I want to feel you again."
Lies.
Ed stood back, pulling Mustang's hand. "Come on," he said slowly, "it's been too long."
"It's not like you to give up so easily," mustang whispered while kissing Ed's back.
"Shut up," answer Ed, "guh, not there!"
"Ed, are you really here?"
Edward didn't answer. Mustang stopped licking. "I'm here, colonel. I'm right in front of you, aren't I?"
"I don't know," Mustang said honestly. Edward sat back, exhaled much. "What if I'm not here? I wouldn't be here, would I? Don't you wanna meet me again? I do."
Lies.
"Colonel, do you think I'm not me?"
"It's not like that," he replied. Mustang, without realizing, has gotten all tangled up by his own thoughts. "I just want to make sure…"
Ed grabbed his hand, placing it by his cheek. "Then feel me."
Strange. Why do I feel so much attraction this man, whom I never met before?
Being drowned in pleasure, Mustang tires himself out and slept. Ed woke up just to find the colonel's sleeping face, somehow, sleep and sound – and in the same time, desperate looking.
He chuckled. "Were you that desperate to see Edward?" his eyes rolled; and then, he caught a glimpse of an important thing. "This photo… I don't remember taking it."
Ed and I
+ Alphonse, Scar, Liza and Winry, 12/10
"Has my name… always written like that?"
He raised up his right arm, which is an automail, and read the words on it. Eduard, 12/12
Ed opened his mouth, trying to talk some sense into his mind. "I got this automail on 12th December," he whispered, "so how can I be having it by October…"
"So you are not Ed."
Ed turned his head backwards and found Mustang sitting on the bedside, his hands clasped tight. "Colonel, I…" Ed spoke up. Mustang shuts his eyes, holding up his tears.
"You are not Ed," he said again, "You're just his doppelganger, aren't you?"
Ed can feel his heart stops beating. "Every people who pass through the portal, without knowing nor sensing – they create a doppelganger of their self. An exact copy of them." Ed can hear the shaking voice of the Colonel. Even his though, pretty muscular body is shaking.
"I don't know if I'm a doppelganger or not," Ed whispered. He feels like being choked – as more words he hears, more words he says – the greater the pain.
"The moment I saw you, I know something feels off." Mustang raised up his head again. "Edward never gives up his body so easily. He never tries to hug me. He would never say such sweet words."
Ed staggered. "And why's that?"
The colonel smiled weakly. "Because I know Ed so well."
Falling on the floor, Ed suddenly realized he knew nothing of the man in front of him. Just blurry memories of happiness and dreams – that too, includes the nightmare of bloods. And why… why does it feel like I've been in love with him so much?
"But colonel, I'm here," Ed twitched his ears. "And I- I know that I-"
"Doppelganger shares the same feeling of the person the moment it was created," cuts Mustang. "You, too- share the same feelings with Edward when he passed through the portal."
"Colonel, call my name," he begged. Slowly shrugging towards Mustang, Ed lets his tears down bit by bit. "Colonel, say my name."
"And from the way you act, I guess he still had something when he left me," Mustang said it bitterly. "It's doubtful… if you're not lying in order to trick me."
"Colonel, I beg you, call my name…"
"I knew it already, but I still let myself to devour you, the Doppelganger! I let myself being drown in pain again after I finally recovered ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ "
"Colonel," Ed grabbed Mustang's feet. "I'm here."
"Why should it be you? I keep asking myself that question over a year."
"Colonel, I'm here!" screamed Ed. He feels frightened, a new kind of scared feelings of losing – he's afraid of losing this man. "Colonel, please…"
"Edward, where are you exactly?"
Ed reached Mustang's hands and grabbed them. "I'm here," he whispered. "Edward or Eduard, I'm as one… I'm Edward too."
Mustang swallowed up his remaining words and gritted his teeth. "Do not leave me."
"Colonel, I swear, I won't." he kissed the back of Mustang's right hand. "I will never…"
"Do not leave me again."
Ed looked upon the colonel's eyes. Sadness is there, together with frustration – but in a way, his eyes look… beautiful. Pain in which it covers, the deeper it is – the more Ed can understand him.
"Colonel, I will not leave you."
Mustang left speechless, his energy all dried out.
"I will always be here, waiting for you…" Ed smiled a little. His smile is not really a happy or sad smile; it's made of an unexplainable emotion. "…for you to love this me."
the snow storm doesn't stop all night. and it continues until the day after, the day after and the day after.
I finally found him back.
Him, the one who once disappeared on me...
"A world full of vibrant colors, but without you
Is a snow storm, covering the dimension with nothingness"
