A/N: - Yo! Look who's been busy writing! Dudes, I know, this surprises me just as much as all of you. Anyways! This, my dears, has been going on for over a year. Seriously. I had a very small idea a year ago thinking it would be very cool to have Axel as a paperboy. I thought 'Hey, let's have some fun with this, it can't take me longer than a day to write a one-shot can it?' HA! I was so wrong its not even funny!

Now, as much as I adore the Axel/Riku pairing, I'm not entirely sure whether I've nailed it or bellyflopped it. I'm so used to writing Sora I kinda wonder if I've failed here. But I really really adore Axel's character, so I needed to do something.

On a final note. This was supposed to be a oneshot, but as I've been writing this on and off for so long, it grew in length and I really do have to split this into two parts. That's right. Just think of it as a really really long one-shot that will come in two parts. We okay? All set? Yes? Go!!

Warnings: Swearing, Sexual themes, a few unhappy flower beds, and uh... Axel in general.

Disclaimer: All respected characters belong to Square enix and Disney.


Mail Attraction - Axel's Special Delivery.


Heh, you know what bites me right in the crotch?

Money problems.

Yep, that's right. That green stuff that I exchange for all the goodies I want. Those shiny little coins that I curse at when I loose. That moolah that I have'ta earn.

Secondly, you know what bites me in the crotch then proceeds to chew real good?

Jobs.

Yeah, I won't hide it, I hate them! Much as the next person, to the next person…. Right down the queue of society until you hit that red-light kinda-guy who hums a merry tune whilst walking in a whole frikkin' hour early to work.

Oh, oh! While I'm on the subject… mornings! What is up with those? Who I ask… likes mornings? Hmm? Answer me that and then I may stop complaining. For I, yes, are one of those guys who are most passionate about lay ins. Well duh, they are only the most important part of the day!

Oh and how could I forget I also hate—

"Are you ready yet?"

That, mom, just earned you a well-attempted, slightly dysfunctional glare.

"Axel, this cannot continue, you get your butt out of that bed and stop trying to sleep through your alarm!" Argh! The beast is immune to my powerful glare! Her power is too great!

Oookay, where was I? Oh, yes…I also hate—

"Axel!"

--Christ woman! "Mmmhmmgh— I'm up! I'm up!" I lunged myself up with great effort to roll over and ended up, of course, eating carpet.

Well, I'm glad it is only 9:15 AM, or else who knows who would have seen me do that? Heh, okay... give me an hour and I may be able to put a coherent thought together for you.

In the meantime, however, just let me stumble around my room for clean to not-so-clean pants to fling on. And no, this time I will not pull on my mother's pink floral dress thinking it was my bathrobe, thankyouverymuch.

"Breakfast is on the table. I'd say you have 5 minutes before it turns to 'gross-slosh' as you put it. I'd hurry up if I were you." Oh great, weetabix… if I ever eat that soggy stuff again I think I may just cry.

In some new-found desperation, I grabbed some khaki cargo trousers and a deep green turtleneck. Don't quote me on the colour though; it could have been black in this light.

Swinging the door open, my eyes are invited to battle with the new bright light streaming from the hallway. I cursed and stumbled blindly down the hall, miraculously down the stairs and somehow, into my seat without incident, unless you count that one wall…

I looked down at my weetabix that was glooping slightly in the bowl. I glared at them.

"Okay weetabix, you don't like me, and I especially don't like you." But that is how it is. I picked up the bowl and looking around me, I threw it in the bin.

"…So I'm not gonna eat you. Cya." I blew a kiss at the empty bowl and grabbed my scarf.

"Oy, going now!" I shouted, pulling on my shoes and grabbing the horrible bright yellow bag near the front door.

Whistling the 'Postman Pat' theme, I opened the door and head outside.


"You look fucking awful."

"Okay thanks…"

"Roll out the wrong side of the bed or something?

Yawn. "You'd be amazed."

"Here, new street for you today, that little dude has a school trip this week. You can cover right?"

"Well—."

"Good, now hurry up before you sleep on me or sumthin'"

"Yeah, yeah…" I shoved the papers into my bag and left Phil and his little corner shop to himself. He's an ass. I'll give him that. Shoving my hands in my pocket, I stride down the street, yawning occasionally to the birds who like to tweet so fucking loudly in all their chirpy glory.

I delivered to a few houses, unfortunately not always being able to avoid their lovely kept lawn and newly planted flowers. Hey! If they want non-trodden flowers AND their papers delivered at ungodly times of the morning, then they have another thing coming!

Just as I roll up a paper, my ring tune startles me.

"BURN BABY BURN! Disco Infeeernoooo!"

I grinned as I rummaged through my pocket, looking at the screen, it tells me I have 'received a new text, hot stuff!' …yeah, okay so I customized my phone a little, stop laughing!

To that I was greeted with an intelligent message of 'Haha! You're up early and I'm not! Well… not for another ten minutes! So suck my balls, bitch! Love Roxas xxx'

I sighed. That goon, I am not going to even point out to him that he is obviously awake to text me, it would be an insult to my intelligence. Flipping it shut, I proceed to post a paper to that bitch of a house with that bitch of a dog.

Goofy was it? Yeah, well…I didn't find him all too goofy when he attached his jaws to my ass. Scraping my nails through my hair to pull it back into a loose ponytail with that rubber band I always keep on my wrist, I squatted and readied myself for war.

The mutt came to the gate and growled at me viciously. I glared back and growled as best as I could, heck I wasn't scared of no pooch. As soon as my fingers took themselves out of my pocket, and slowly inched towards the handle, the growl intensified.

And upon touching the handle, my other hand whipped out and so did the dog biscuit.

Bingo.

I threw it and off went the dog, and off went I. Dashing towards the letterbox, I thrusted the paper inside and wasted no time pivoting around and leaping back towards the gate. Slamming it shut I panted for breath and cocked a grin as I whistled a tuneless tune as though everything was perfectly normal.

Uhh…uno momento. Why for, do I still hear an annoying growl grace my ears? Cocking an eyebrow I spin my head round to the pavement, and see Mr. Goofy showing me a not-so-goofy face. No fence. No gate. No restrictions.

Well, shit.


Rubbing my ass and grumbling most horribly about the dog, I glared at the world. Or more specifically -- that damn new street Phil has got me posting at. If I didn't get my ass (or what's left of it) in gear, I'd be late for school.

It wasn't that I especially minded about being late, it was more of the fact that I like my ears to be at least half healthy. They bloody well won't be if Demyx has anything to say about it.

I stood at the corner of this new road. Well, hell… everything looked so damn sparkly new I'm not quite sure it's ready for someone like myself. Talk about well-bred. I whistled long and loud in appreciation and already the well-groomed man washing his well-cleaned car was giving me a well-perfected glare.

Heh.

I winked at him and hoisted my bag that had been digging into my shoulder up a little. Grinning at his disapproving frown, I head over.

"Top of tha mornin' to ya!" Waving a roll of newspaper regally at him, I lower my head into a bow. I may have been too much for him already, as his hose I just so happen to notice turned to full jet.

"Uh, here." I mutter, losing my enthusiasm and just passing it to him as he continues with his holier-than-thou-ness that I want to burn off his face. I walked on and rummaged in my pockets. Mmmm'kay, where is it? I know I put it in here somewhere. My pocket seemed to be one of those that went on forever. My fingers brushed cold sleek metal and I grasped my hands around my lighter.

I flipped it open and the flipped it shut. Open and shut. Open and shut.

No, I do not smoke, okay? Well, that's what you want to be telling my mother if she asks you. I deliver a few more papers to well-manicured houses and pause, my bag was getting lighter and the sun was rising over the houses. The cool misty morning was met with the birds cheeping louder desperately trying to out-do each other. I grin and begin to whistle as I walk up another path.

I folded the paper in half and opened the flap of the letterbox. Okay, this would have been pretty much the same as all the other houses 'cept this time, I've got this guy on the other side of the door humming and making wild hand gestures through the glass.

Okaaaaay…

Was he doing that at me? Well, I'll be damned, they do have their fair share of weirdo's in this street. Thank fuck for that, I was beginning to think they were special. Hey, don't get the impression that I'm peeping in or anything, the door is only frosted panels! I can still see the shapes through it!

…which by the way, still has this guy throwing his arms about.

Just what is he doing?

I squinted, and pressed my face silently closer, oh… well he is faced away, looking at the wall. Wall? Yeah? I can't see… I pressed even closer, squatting down a little bit. My nose is practically touching the glass by the time I figure out he was looking at the mirror on the wall.

Who the fuck has a mirror right beside their door? Yep, nutcase.

As to the wild hand gestures, he is sorting out his hair…. Which I can only think of one word to sum that all up.

Pansy-little-gay-boy.

Voila! Hell, I should be some kind of poet for that artistic flare of words. Like that dude, what's-his-face…

You know the one with all the 'To be… or not to b'-erk. My eyes widened as I only have a split second to realise that he has turned to open the door.

Fuuuuuuucckk!

I only manage to lean away from the door a little until I am faced entirely with one thing.

His fucking crotch.

Yes, no longer can I see the frosted glass fit snug between the brown wooden door frame, now I could see the lump of 'guy' that was fit snug between two thighs covered in black boxers.

I swallow hard and look up to where he has haltered. Oh man… the expression on this guy's face made my dick shrivel a little.

"Just what are you doing?" He squeaks. Heh, funny you should ask…

He would have sounded entirely too angry for my liking, yet I let it slide as his ickle little face was all flushed red. I placed my hand on my knee and hoisted myself up with a "Whelp, I was delivering your mail."

He seemed to gather himself out of his stupor and folded his arms over his bare chest, either to cover up his perk pecks or to look intimidating, I wasn't quite sure. Hell, I didn't quite care. I was far too amused.

As he's recomposed himself, I sighed and leaned casually against the fence. If I wasn't quite with it before, then I am now. I smirked at him as he readjusted the towel around his waist for what… the 5th time? Too. Cute.

"well?" He snapped. I blinked and looked at his flustered impatient face and quirked an eyebrow. Well what?

"Well what?"

He looked absolutely beyond himself and I think he nearly grabbed at his hair in frustration yet his hand diverted itself to hover in front of me instead. "My mail? Give me my fucking mail!"

Whoaaa… sheesh. Who shoved a firecracker up this guy's ass?

"Riiiight." I drawled and proceeded to rummage in my bag for the 'mail' Hmm… well yes, I decided to take extra long to piss him off a bit more but hey! Can you blame me?

When I pulled out just a simple newspaper, I saw his eyes trail down it and his jaw drop a little too. Oooh boy, Axel, you are such a naughty boy, oh yes you are!

I placed the newspaper into his outstretched palm (which may I just add seems a little less confident now) and watched his face as the only sound that wanted to be heard right now is the sound of paper to palm.

Plack.


Well, fuck. If I ever did see such an arrogant guy! What a tosser! I grumbled as I pulled out another newspaper. Shoving that through the letterbox a little roughly, I stumbled down the pathway. Just who the hell does that kid think he is?

I gingerly touched my nose and tried to ignore the slight throbbing on my knee. Of all the childish things I could have imagined him to do, kicking me in the fucking kneecap and slamming the door on my god damned fucking nose was not one of them!

Oh… that's right. I'm not so happy-little-sunshine right now. I'm gonna piss on his paper tomorrow, ah man I am seriously considering it!

Huffing, I continue down the street trying hard not to throw the newspapers at the houses instead of delivering them.


"Axel, a little attention, if you please?"

"Yeah, right. Sorry." I yawned and scratched my chin as I peered at the whiteboard. Right, okay! Focus. Words. There are words on the board. What are they? Blue board pen. Yes. Good, progress.

'When one discovers an object of 'perfection' in their eyes, one will immediately begin to want. In such cases the want can become much more, especially if learning one cannot get. This is all due to certain challenges caused in competing for best, for…'

Okay, what the hell am I supposed to be learning here? And he wonders why I doze off?

Well. I actually find this kinda stuff quite interesting, but my mind now seems to be jammed with a little annoyance that is ticking me off.

…yeah, you guessed it. It's that snotty-nosed brat boy from this morning. He acted like a goddamned princess. If his attitude didn't stink then he'd be quite the looker, but his persona is enough to make me boil my head.

I clenched my fist and try to prevent a miserable scowl gracing itself on my face but I think I'm failing. People must think I'm constipated. Jeez…

Fine, so my morning isn't going so great now, but you know what? It was. It was going alright. No weetabix, a little extra cash in the pocket as old man gramps gave me an extra road… and then HIM. Pissed on my fucking parade. With his smarmy looks and ugly attitude…

I turned to look out the window, grinding my teeth just as loud as the kid next to me with the obnoxiously loud music blearing out one soon-to-be death ear hole. Yet, despite all this, you know what I do? I smirk. Why?

Because No one looks down on Axel.

"Axel! I will not tell you again!"

"Oh right, Sorry…"

…Heh, almost no one.


"Axel! Are you up yet? I really am in no mood—"

"Oy. Stop yelling and come eat breakfast, ma." Oh yes, I may be half asleep as I scooped weetabix into my mouth (I'm beginning to think this was the best time to eat it, yanno, before my taste buds wake up) but I could damn well tell that my mother may have just had a cardiac seizure in the hallway. If it weren't so cruel on the darling, I would consider myself slightly proud of such achievements.

As it were, I am faced with my mothers gaping mouth and jittering jaw as she struggles to find the right words. Clasping the doorframe for support is when I consider phoning her a doctor.

"You have constipation or something?"

"Wh-wha-." I shrugged, gracing her with my delicious smile. Oy. I don't give them away to anyone.

"Can I not wake up early and praise the morning without being gaped at?"

"No you bloody well can't! Axel! You just don't do mornings!" She found it necessary to inhale deeply, and whisper quite loudly at me.

"You know what you are doing?! You are breaking the morning ritual! It's become a family tradition and here you are, wrecking everything!"

"…Mother. Are you implying that you want to stand outside my bedroom door shouting my name for the next half hour whilst I openly ignore you until I am officially late?" She came marching over to me during my questioning and made to snatch my bowl from me. I clung back.

"It is all about the routine! I know that you are normal and nothing has caused you mishap if you do the same thing everyday! It is when you start doing this" She pointed frantically at me. "That I know something is wrong!" She hissed, her hair which had not yet been preened into perfection flopped down into her eyes as she attempted to pull the bowl from me. I couldn't help but chuckle as her attempts were futile. "A mother cannot cope without her routine!"

With amazing strength, that quite frankly scared the fuck outta me, she yanked the bowl, slammed it onto the table and grabbed the collar of my shirt.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Easy, easy!" I yelled as she dragged me to my room and shoved me in. Slamming the door in my face, I hear her call from the other side of the door.

"You can't come out! For Christ sake it's not even past six thirty yet! Jeez, Axel… you don't even know this time exists!" I openly laugh at her but then I die down as I lean my head against the door.

"Mum, I have to go… I've got something that I have to do."

Curiosity. No way did that kill the cat. No, it killed my mother. Well, at least helped me to injure her plans to keep me locked inside this room until she deems me sane enough. The dope.

"What do you have to do? Is it about that homeless man again Axel? Because seriously I have no sexual desire in him, stop telling him otherwise! Do you know that he actually came over to me three da--."

"Mum, stop yapping will you? Jeez. It's about this boy…" I sighed.

"Oh! You found another one? Is he sexy? Do you want to shag his brains out? Huh?" Oh honestly. Don't look so surprised. Do you really think I could keep the fact that I'm a raging homosexual from her? Do me a favour.

"No! I want to teach the gooch a lesson! He has a stick up his ass that I'm seriously tempted to set fire to." I grinned, testing the doorknob to see if I could open it.

Finding that I could, the door creaked on its hinges as I came face to face with mum, who had that look of 'I know something you don't, daaaaarhling' Ah, here goes…

"Okay, spill it."

"You like him!"

"Most definitely not."

"You did that sigh!" She beamed.

"Which one?" Believe me; she has a handbook of all my different actions and their meanings. What an idiot.

"Number. 27, the 'I'm confused yet have this butterfly feeling tingling around inside my stomach which is making me feel weird and I think it is going to cause a hard on if I don't figure it out soon' sigh."

I groan. "Mum."

"No! You also grinned. And that was most definitely an underlined message. 'In fact, I think I'll remove that stick from his ass and repeatedly replace it with my own piece of wood--."

"MOTHER!" I yelled as I stormed down the hallway and, whilst tripping clumsily over numerous items, tried my hardest to ignore her insane giggling. Seriously. Give me a break.

I raked my fingers through my hair gathering it into a ponytail and grabbed my bag. That's it, I'm outta here. This crazy woman I just don't need the company of.

"Axel! Where's my kissie wissie?" She whined, battering her eyelashes. Heh, I'll give you something much more than a mere kiss in a minute, mother. Conveniently in the shape of my foot, too.

"Sorry mum, I don't kiss elders. I might catch something." With that, I shut the door, hearing her slipper hit it soon after.

Right, okay. On with the show!

"Ooooooyy, Axeeelll!!"

Oh shit. It was Zack. The guy who fancied me so much that he practically wanted to be me. I thought I had told Cloud to get the guy to leave me alone. Hell, I paid good money to! I tense my shoulders and walk hurriedly down the street.

It's okay, I didn't hear anything.

"Axeellll, wait up!"

Uh… nope. Nothing. It was the wind. Yeah…

"Stop ignoring me or I'll pinch that fine ass of yours!"

Okay… all of a sudden I feel like going for a nice jog. It is after all such a lovely morning! What a waste if I didn't frolic around for a while on the way to work! I start to jog just as an unforgivable finger and thumb squeeze my bum.

"CHRIST!"

I spun round and glared at him. Oh god, he has not got the same tattoos as me. Oh no… this cannot be happening! He already copied my hair! Although his is black seeing as he said it'd be cool to be 'opposites' in that way.

Hell, the only way I want to be opposite with him is the location of which side of the world we are on.

He is grinning at me with such wide eyes filled with admiration that I nearly find myself gagging. His hand came out to push me affectionately against the shoulder and I simply narrowed my eyes at him.

"What do you want?"

"Can I not--."

"No."

"Not even--."

"Definitely not."

"But I lov-."

"Sorry. I uh… have herpes. No touchy for you." I spun around and took a couple of steps before he grabbed my hoody and tugged me back. I whined.

"Whaaaaat?" I saw his fingers twitching, wanting to reach out and touch me again. Hmm, maybe I should have added gonhorrea into the mix.

"Let's have herpes together!" He chuckled, knowing full well I was blowing this crap outta my ass. For fuck sake, shouldn't that be enough of a sign to make him leave? I'm gonna be late!

I rolled my eyes at him and sigh loudly. I suppose I should use the bargaining.

"What does it take to make you leave today?"

"How about your underwear?" He smirked.

"They're in use at the moment. Terribly sorry."

"Fine, hold my hand until the end of the road!" This is so pointless, I want to shrivel up and die. Yet looking at my watch, I grabbed his hand and yanked him to walk my pace down the street.

Which is indeed, very, very fast.

"You know what's so great about the world, Axel?" Zack hummed somewhere behind me. He's lucky I even heard that, I'm practically running down the road. He took my silence for an appreciative encouragement to continue.

"It has you in it. You and me." He grinned, clutching onto my wrist with his other hand, practically skipping jovially by my side.

"Speaking of you and me, when are we getting together? Just think of the sex, Axel. It'd be mind-blowing!" I winced, with the utmost concentration of reaching the end of the road.

He continued babbling on until my ears bled but with a great fist pump, I gave an almighty whoop of joy when we touch downed on the corner of the road. Zack's hand went flying from my hand and I turned around, half waving him in dismissal.

"Well, see ya." I smirked over my shoulder and when he went to follow me, I turned and held a palm to his face.

"Ah, ah, ah. We had a deal?" He was going for the excuses, but I turned.

"See ya."

Without listening to anymore of Zack's nonsense, I strolled down the street and briskly made my way to pick up his set of papers. I check my watch, hmm, 6:45 AM, not bad, eh!?

I strolled into the shop and spotted Phil just going through the morning procedures.

"Yo!" I greeted him, making my way around the corner as he was trying to reach the second shelf.

"Hn? Yeah, yeah… 'ey." He greeted back, pushing a box to the side with his foot. I grabbed the stack of papers waiting for me. I had to remove his fresh coffee cup from on top of them though, from what I'm gathering, he uses them as a table before I get there. Heh, guess he wasn't expecting me so early.

I glanced up at him and raised an eyebrow when I saw him staring back at me wide eyed and fag dangling from him bottom lip.

"Whassa' matter old man?" I asked, sliding the stack into my bag and heaving them over my shoulder.

Phil looked shocked; his poor little bottom lip was wobbling away.

"Put those back and get the hell outta my shop!"

I frowned as he came charging at me, trying to tug my bag off, bless him, he was so short I only had to raise a shoulder and his little feet were dangling off the floor. Still, in vain, he tried.

"Why!? I'm supposed to get here at 7am! So what I'm a little early! Sheesh!"

"BE GONE!" Oh, I think he's actually cracked. I pulled a face of pure whatthefuckness and got my ass out of there. Just why was it so hard to believe that I got up so early? Had I been such an aspiring citizen of the lazy ass clan than no body even likes to see me up before 10 am??

Heh, well, suits me just fine. I'll be back to my charming ways come tomorrow morning. And you can find those charming ways in my bed. Yessiree, I am getting a lay in for this one.

I hurriedly started to throw the papers in the yards, which was freakishly deserted. I felt a little spooked, even the barking dog demon wasn't attached to my ass. I'm not quite sure I like this empty feeling inside.

I let out an exhausted sigh and saw the house coming into view. Oh yes, his house now gets title of 'The', his stupid house with its frosted front door windows and uh… normal looking qualities. Hmph. Whatever.

I strutted down the road with a new found burst of energy and I was just conjuring up what to do to the little water fountain on the front lawn as I opened the gate.

Then my jaw dropped.

Why the little --

Sitting perfectly arranged on the front door step was a plate with a cookie and a note on it. I furrowed a brow and bent down to snatch the note up. My eyes gazed over the elegant handwriting and my face contorted into a scowl. With a howl of fury I grabbed his newspaper and dumped it unceremoniously into the little fountain and stomped off, cursing at the top of my voice.

That little shit.

I ripped up his note and threw it into the air, hearing a yell of complain from a woman taking her trash can out. Whatever, I'm going to school.

The little pieces of paper fluttered to the ground, and if someone could be bothered enough to rearrange it all back together, they would have been rather confused to find what was written:

'Here, Santa-Pervert. If you improve your stinking attitude a little, I may upgrade you to a glass of milk too, sweetheart.'


Now, usually I am a chirpy little bugger, but today…. Ho ho hoooooo, no. I think waking up so early yesterday has jolted my karma out of place, because today was the hell of all days.

First, I wake up at 11 AM. Fair enough right? Dead. Wrong. I had to miss delivering the papers entirely to run to college. Yup, that's pretty bad, but not only am I late past what is usually considered polite, I also eat dirt off the floor when I come crashing through the door, tripping up over my own two feet in the process. I get loaded with a bitch of a detention and an overly fussy Zack over my goddamned scraped knee.

Oh, some one was surely to feel my heated wrath, am I right? No. So there's a generous surprise pop quiz, a promise of an essay to start working on, a fucking empty stomach because my mother doesn't love me enough to tell me a fifth time to pick up my wallet, and! Yes, and… I'm still sulking over that goddamned nancy boy.

I dig my pen into the desk again as I wait it out in detention. This is not making me happy. Nup, and I am worse than the Devil when I'm in this kind of mood, no lies.

Scraping the pen along the surface of the wood, I sigh and thunk my head down. What's worse yet is that I still have to endure Phil's tantrum about me being late, and then I actually have to deliver all the papers still. Jeez, what's a few hours gonna hurt? Or even half a day for that matter? The teacher was oblivious to all our subtle hints of wishing death quicker and the clock made a resounding tick for each second passing. I actually felt my sanity leaving me.

Why the hell did I get out of bed?

Perhaps I could sneak in and grab the damn papers before the little squirt catches me? Ah, who am I kidding? He always has a knack of catching me when I come in late. Then has a knack for whacking me round the head with a rolled up news paper like a bad dog! and sending me to the kennels. Well, back out on the street with a pay reduction but same difference, eh?

My eyes fall closed as I let out a groan. I'm guesstimating that I won't get home until really late. Knowing Phil, he'll double my work load just for giggles and I'll have to take it just for the sake of keeping my job.

"Five minutes, Axel." The teacher said, packing up her things and busying around wiping down the whiteboard, sparing me a glance that all too well said 'until you get out of my effing hair.'

I continued to groan and whine dramatically until she released me, a whole one minute earlier than she said she would might I add, and I headed towards the shop that contains my fate. Or doom.

Phil was there, of course, eyes training on me as soon as I entered his sight and—holy shit was that an evil glint I saw in his eye? I think he's about to open a can of whoop ass on me.

I backed away slightly, but swallowed when my heel hit the doorframe. My coat brushed the wood and my mouth opened to fumble over excuses but little Phil was too quick. He threw my heavy shoulder bag full of papers at me. It hit my chest and my arms came up to stop it dropping instinctively. He leaned up and poked me hard in the chest.

"Don't be late again."

Oh great, I think that was worse than when he went ape shit and kicked me in the bollocks. Just as I felt my heart stabbing with guilt, he turned and grinned a little.

"Bastard."

I sighed with relief and a huge wolfish grin spread across my face. I slapped a hand on his shoulder appreciatively.

"You can count on it, old man."


You know when I said this was the hell of all days? Oh yeah, nothing's changed. The clouds saw and took pity on this steaming pyro and decided to douse me head to toe in hard rain. My shoes have puddles in them for crying out loud! I am squelching down the roads, with fat rain drops rolling off my limp spikes and trickling down my nose.

I sniffed loudly and grimace as I turned the corner. Oh well, at least the papers were dry.

Anyone who hadn't abandoned the streets yet was casting me long freaked out glances because of my dark muttering. I would glare at them back but it was getting pretty dark out and the rain was making it hard to see all too well. So I added them to the list of shit I was moaning about. I started delivering a few papers, and all of them so far had landed under the dry porches and not in their usual place – anywhere but the porches.

I blanched. My aim was better in these conditions? Well, shit. In fact, you know what? That just made my mood worse!

My shoulder was aching from the heavy load and I was pretty much dragging myself along. I was nearing Nancy boy's house too so my mood worsened incredibly. Just what was with that dude anyways? Yes, I was still sulking thank you very much! I glanced both ways and stepped off the curb…

…Straight into a puddle.

I threw my arms up and cursed loudly. Gritting my teeth, I yanked my foot up and stormed over to Nancy boy's neighbour. I slammed their gate open and torpedoed their newspaper through their letter box.

I opened the brat's gate and stormed up his path. Make it swift, no one gets hurt. I flipped open his letter box and reached in my bag to grab a paper. As my head was turned, the curtain in the front room window moved. My cold fingers gripped the paper and I folded it in half, pushing it through the flap. What I was unaware of however, was the door bursting open in my face. By the time I realised it was getting shoved my way, my foot was already hanging off the small step and I was already falling on my ass.

I landed on my back and my head hit the floor. I laid there, stunned, blinking up at the sky as the rain patted my cheeks. My arms were sprawled out, one in a patch of flowers, the other in a puddle. I narrowed my eyebrows and groaned. That actually did not just happen to me. No way in hell was my luck this bad.

I raised my head slightly to peer green eyes at my attacker in disbelief. Just as I expected, Nancy boy was standing there in his threshold, looking down at me. Although, he did actually have the decency to look a little surprised himself. Heh, yeah, didn't expect me to fall to my doom, eh? You better be feeling some guilt, bitch.

I let my head fall back down on the ground, sighing the biggest sigh I think I have ever mustered. I even let my eyes close. Hell, I've given up. Time to sleep and wake up to a much better day.

After getting over his initial shock, Riku seemed to realise how pitiful I looked, I heard him step out of his house, over to where I was sprawled on his path and toe me in the side, none too gentle may I add.

"Oy, get off my path."

I glared up at him, then held my hand up where the wet paper was clutched in, corners sagging from the rain.

His turquoise eyes flickered to the paper momentarily, regarding it. He raised a slender brow.

"You do realise that it's--." He glanced at his watch. "—8:05 PM, don't you?" He stated, leaning on one slender hip and crossing his arms.

I mumbled something like 'lucky to get it at all, stinking brat', heh, I wasn't even going to give it to him at all, but if he complained then I could get another pay reduction, and I certainly wasn't in the mood for that.

So I closed my eyes again and clenched my fists into balls. "I'm sorry, I got delayed… and it's a little wet…uh…" I rolled my head to the side and let out a huge groan. How stupid can I sound. How pathetic can I look? Oh god, just shoot me now.

Riku was actually feeling an air of immense humour to the situation until he saw my cheek roll into a puddle, and any sense of humour he felt seemed to dissipate. He looked me over once more, biting his bottom lip as though contemplating his options. In the end he settled on shuffling round to my feet and grabbing my ankles.

He began yanking me towards his house. I, by then, was too fed up to care. I let this strange silver haired creature drag me up the step, feeling the cold concrete edge scrape along my back and bash my sharp shoulder blade. I was too busy mumbling about kicking puppies and slapping a few Nancy boys to feel the carpet burn rub at my hands and shoulders. Too busy cursing the weather and Phil to hear the short hard pants of labour the brat was making as he dragged me to the middle of his living room.

He dropped my feet and they thunked on the floor. His flushed face came into view for a second, studying me from the top of my fiery red hair, to the bottom of my soggy shoes. He smirked at me, chuckling as he went to shut the front door.

Maybe I should feel scared, but I don't.

His house is warm and my fingertips are tingling from the sudden change in temperature. A drop of rain is having fun sliding down my neck, letting the goosebumps kick in. I shudder and a towel landed on my face. I blinked and raised my arms to the towel.

"For your hair, you're dripping everywhere." I heard a voice from behind my blue vision. I sat up and pulled the towel from my face, looking around at the pale yellow walls, before landing on Nancy boy, who was sat on a couch a couple of feet away from where he had left me.

"…Yeah, thanks." I said, rubbing the back of my head, grinning at the weird situation. I scrubbed at my head with the towel, sending red locks flying in all directions. Brat boy watched me, seemingly content in studying the flaming red hair.

Heh, I knew it. My hair was sex. Yup, even he couldn't keep his eyes off it.

"Just for the record," He began, as I was satisfied that it was dry enough. I looked up at him questioningly.

"…I think you're really weird."

I frowned. "Yeah? And I think you're a nancy brat boy."

We held each others gaze for a little while, waiting for reactions. He was a bit of a wild card, this one. Could go either way. When he grinned, however, I realised I was grinning too.

He reached out and tugged the towel from my fingers and then smirked.

"Riku."

My eyes widened slightly. Nice name. That sounds like it'd roll off my lips beautifully. I refrained from trying it out though. I settled for giving him my wolfish smirk.

"Axel."

He quirked an eyebrow but showed me his pearly white teeth.

"Hot chocolate?"

I rose to my feet, already following him to the kitchen.

"You bet."

And this, I could tell, was the beginning of one fucked up friendship.


By the time it took Riku there to fix me up some steamy hot chocolate, I already had realised I had the hots for this boy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not usually too easy to please. In fact, I'm down right picky about who I want to bang and all.

But honestly, this kid didn't need to do much convincing.

Before I realised it, my eyes were trailing his perky ass and sharp hips all around the kitchen as he moved around with a familiarity that told me he had done this many times before.

I had already picked up on some of his mannerisms, finding them all too cute. I was smiling at him, leaning back in my chair as he hummed to himself, tucking a few strands behind his ear, furrowing his brow in concentration as he reached up high for the hot chocolate powder on the top shelf. Biting his bottom lip as he poured the hot water into a cup. He occasionally wiped his hands on his bum, as though wiping away some invisible muck on his hands.

We didn't talk, he was too busy pottering around and I was too busy watching him. Overall, this was quite pleasant.

He reached into a cupboard and pulled out a bag of marshmallows. Next into the fridge he went to dig out a can of whipped cream.

"Sweet tooth?" I commented, eyeing up the small mountain of whipped cream he applied to our tops. He didn't reply, just ran his finger up one of the cups, catching a stray trail of cream.

He grinned, bringing his finger to his lips to kiss the cream of. My cock twitched and I looked away.

I'm not that easy I told myself, strongly trying to remind myself that not twenty minutes ago I was cursing him to the heavens. Now I'll be cursing him for different reasons. This isn't fair, actually. I usually considered myself to be the sexy bastard in any relationship I had. I was the one the girls whispered to each other about, cursing my boy toy for being so lucky.

If I walked down the street with this kid on my arm, I wondered who'd be cursing who?

A cup placed itself next to my elbow and Riku sat down across from me.

"Nice trick you pulled the other day, by the way, I loved you for that one." I said, referring to the Santa Claus note.

Riku pretended to be none the wiser. "Oh? Are you sure you've got the right person?" He smiled behind his cup. I regarded him with cool eyes.

"Ah? Well, that's a shame. I was willing to behave myself in hopes of a… reward." I made sure he was looking at me before I licked my lips impishly. Oh yes. He swallowed and looked down at his cup.

Damn, you could cut the tension in here with a sexually charged knife. Would you look at that? I'm back in the game. Riku's finger was stroking the rim of his cup unconsciously and I really tried not to think of how weird this all was.

My clothes were making me shiver and I tensed my muscles to try to prevent it, but Riku clocked on.

"You want a shower and some clothes?" He chuckled, sounding rather sarcastic. "You can sleep round too, I'll let you bang me for free and next I can make you breakfast in bed in the morning. How's that sound, Sir?"

We locked eyes, and I leaned across the table a little. Riku leaned back in his chair ever so slightly.

"You know, that doesn't sound all too bad." I drained my cup, smacking my lips in satisfaction. "So if you're offering…" I finished, waiting for his reaction.

His eyes widened and for the first time since I met him, he looked younger than me. I furrowed an eyebrow.

"Oy, how old are ya, kid?"

Riku blanched at my pet name for him, he looked rather insulted. "I'm not a kid. I'm eighteen." He defended. Well, I'll be damned. Only a year parted us. Score.

I stood up, stretching. "Whelp. Thanks for getting me back up on my feet, literally." I should probably go. Before this kid thought I was mooching off him and preparing to rape his pretty ass. Which, if I let my eyes travel over his body any more, I might actually consider doing.

I put the cup in the sink and turned, he was watching me from his seat, looking like he wanted to say something.

"So, thanks." I grinned, letting my eyes linger on him before turning and heading for the door.

My fingers brushed the door handle before I heard him shout.

"Wait!" I lowered my hand and smirked. Bingo.

A silver haired head poked its way into the hallway.

"You actually want to stay? My parents are out of town and it gets pretty boring around here. It's the least you can do. You ruined my newspaper that I was planning on reading and you left a body print on my front path… uh…"

I chuckled at him, after having raised my eyebrows half way through his attempts. This kid sure was obvious. To think I thought he'd be all cool and suave.

"You'll actually bring me breakfast in bed?"

He nervously tucked a lock of hair behind his ears. "If you want me to…"

I get it; he wasn't asking me to sleep with him. Heck, I think that was one of the, well lets not say last, because hey, I am pretty damned sexy and all, but I think sex wasn't what he was aiming for. If I had to take a guess, I'd say he was lonely. Well, the Axenator can take care of that, but it's not to say I won't tease him about it first.

"And the free sex?"

He frowned at me. I laughed. That's a no then.

"Alright then, I guess this could be arranged." I agreed, taking my phone out of my pocket and flipping it open. "Don't want to get myself into any debt now, would I?" I grinned, dialling home.

"Helloooo?" My mum sang down the phone. It was loud, I think she was hovering.

"Mum turn the damn hoover off, I can't hear myself think!" I stuck my finger in my other ear and glanced at Riku. I stuck my tongue out and rolled my eyes. He smiled.

She turned the hoover off as Riku began walking over to me.

"Mum, I'm staying over a friends house tonight, don't wait up." I said as Riku stopped right in front of me. I looked down at him and cocked an eyebrow, trying to concentrate on mum who was mumbling to herself.

"Mum? Oy…woman!" I groaned, she was getting distracted in her cleaning frenzy.

"Oh? Hum? What did you say sweetie?" She asked, making enough noise to warrant a groan from me.

Riku trailed his finger up and down my arm and my concentration began splitting between the two of them. When I looked at him, searching an answer, he gave me a slooooow smile. This caused me to draw my eyebrows together in confusion.

"I said I'm staying round a friend's house. Don't wait up."

There was a pregnant pause and then suddenly she squealed.

"It's that boy's house! Isn't it! The one you sighed over!" What the fuck? How does she—

A finger trailed down my side and Riku chuckled deeply and I flinched a little. Just what was he playing at? I backed away to try and gain some composure before I ended up throwing the phone and Riku to the floor and fucking him senseless.

"Mum, don't get the wrong idea…" My back hit the door handle and Riku made no advance forward. Instead, he gave me a lingering look, turned and walked into the living room. My eyes trailed after him and I realised that I had left mum hanging on the phone.

"What?"

"Honey, You seem even more distracted than me, you aren't receiving oral fun while talking to me Axel, are you?"

"…I'm hanging up on you now."

I heard her wild cackles as I cut the call off. Oral fun, what was she? Four?

I sighed and gave a glance around the hallway. I rubbed the back of my neck and all of a sudden, standing alone in this dark unfamiliar hallway, it hit me hard at how really, really weird this all was. Nanc—Uh, Riku made some pretty ….uh suggestive moves…. Uh, weren't they? Damn, this kid was messing with my head. Did he want to be banged or not?

I shifted from foot to foot, wondering whether to just make a runner for it, or just get my ass back into that front room. He gave me the choice to be a coward, unintentionally or not. Usually I'd let my sex drive do the talking, and that was a huge talker, that guy. But… well, I don't know. If this guy was just looking for a friend, an escape from some loneliness, I guess I could give that a go too…

I came out of my inner thoughts, shook my shoulders and hands, and narrowed my eyes. Right. Back in there you go, big boy. Oh, what? Some boost of the ego not allowed? Hmph.

I made my way into the front room and found Riku sprawled on the couch flicking through the TV channels looking mind numbingly bored. I flopped down heavily next to him, elbow bumping against thigh and I looked up and grinned.

"Yo."

His lips tugged at a corner as he gave me a long sideways glance.

"Make yourself comfortable." He stated rather sarcastically, in which I took full advantage and grabbed the pillow that he was using from behind his back to rest my head on.

"Cool, thanks."

With one of my legs thrown over the arm of the sofa and me taking up about two thirds of the sofa itself, it was only reasonable when Riku complained about being squished at the end.

I chuckled and scooted over a centimetre out of consideration in which Riku just rolled his eyes. He picked up a stray piece of my damp hair that was tickling his bare shoulder and shifted it away. Well, before this fell into any kind of silence I really didn't know how to deal with, I decided to strike up some conversation.

"So, lonely huh?"

Well, I never stated it'd be very good conversation. In fact, that was pretty poor. Yet this was a pretty poor situation to begin with, so Riku decided to go with the flow. I wasn't entirely sure whether this was a good thing or not. Then again, I wasn't entirely sure of anything involving this strange boy beside me.

Basically? I felt like I was watching a conversation that needed a ground of strategy and patience or else all fail and become an entirely wish-I-was-anywhere-but-here- right-now conversation. The only problem that occurred to me about this method was, well, I wasn't one much for thinking carefully or even one for patience and all that. Damn, I'd rather burn shit.

"Sometimes." He muttered, resulting back to channel flicking.

Well, this was going well. I drummed my fingers along my thigh and let my eyes wander over to Riku's profile. His features were stunning, to be honest. Even in the soft glow of the television light, I could make out his sharp little nose and smooth, creamy skin. He had full lips and long dark eyelashes. He was nibbling on him bottom lip and I felt some stirring going on down below.

I gulped and felt my mouth go dry. Hell, he was hot, and I like hot things. I'm hot too though, he better realise this. There's no way this sexual tension I feel is going to be one sided, baby.

I stretch my arms up high over my head, letting my riding t-shirt do its job. I make a big scene of it, letting out a giant noisy yawn. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his eyes flicker over my exposed flesh and grinned behind my arm. Heheh, I'm so naughty. Oh yes I am.

I let my arms drop and suddenly look at him, making sure he knows I caught him looking. I grinned as he turned his head back to the TV.

"Liked what you saw?" I tried.

"Sure, if I was into twigs."

I frowned. I'm pretty sure he just insulted me there. "Well, it's nice to know you associate me with wood." I nodded to myself, grinning in success at my quickness. Damn, sometimes I amaze myself.

Riku half turned, bringing his knee onto the couch as he looked at me with a newfound interest.

"So what? Are you gay or something? Because if you aren't, your highly flirtatious behaviour will get you into a rather awkward situation one day."

My eyebrows rose. Not from what he was deducting, but from how he didn't realise that I was as flaming as they came sooner. Seriously, why else would I have been convinced to stay in someone else's house to keep them company if I didn't get anything in return? Oh don't give me that look, since when hasn't the world been selfish?

"I thought there was a radar built in to guys like us. Or should I say, gays like us? Huh, Riku?"

He narrowed his eyes at me, folding his arms as his lips became a thin line.

"That's none of your business."

I tutted at him. Nailing his type instantly. So, he was a closet huh? I licked my lips. I loved closets best.

"Let me guess," I started, drawing my arm up against the back of the couch, fingers stopping inches away from fluttery silver hair. "You're gay but you're scared to come out because someone who's opinion means something to you might change and you don't want to handle rejection. I'm right, aren't I?"

Riku rolled his eyes and my grin reached my ears.

"Bingo." I smiled, I am so good at this. Oh this just makes things entirely more challenging.

"Best friend." Riku mumbled, obviously finding no point in trying to argue with someone who had him pinned first guess. Ah, I was thinking father, but best friend works too.

"Oh?" I offered, nudging him to give more than that. Riku wet his lips and sighed, obviously finding this weird to be admitting something he's hidden for a long time. Well, better out than in, I firmly believed!

"Yeah, it's unintentional of course. Probably heard a variation of this story a thousand times before," He paused, grinning a little as though referring to me getting around much. Cheeky little bastard. I'll let that slide though, for now.

"Sora's one of those innocent little boys. Sheltered his whole life, you know?" He said, studying his hands in his lap. "Never thinks outside the box. One time we saw two guys playing tonsil hockey and Sora totally flipped out. I don't even think he knew guys could do that sort of thing. Guess his expression kind of stuck in my head."

Wow, this Sora kid sounded like a right picnic.

"He's all shacked up and in love now, with a girl of course. I don't think I could tell him. The squirt looks up to me, I'm like a freaking saint, an idol, I have been most our life. If I told him I guess the image would break." I nodded quietly and didn't really feel pity for him. It happened to most gays. Best way was to be blunt really.

"That's all well and good, but you're wasting your life away while this squirt is living his happy little life. If that were me, I'd be snagging the first guy I saw and say 'fuck the world' y'know? Just, who gives a damn about who's banging who these days?"

He nodded a little, I can tell he wasn't wallowing in self pity; he didn't seem the kind to be so depressed, just sarcastic and reserved. Heh, I kinda liked that about him.

I shifted, stretching my leg out over Riku's knee and I reclined further into the couch. He seemed a little uncomfortable at this motion, which didn't surprise me. I was just testing my boundaries.

"So tell me, you haven't even kissed a guy, have ya?"

Riku looked at me suspiciously.

"…No, but that's not an invitation."

I held my hands up defensively. "Hey, now, I wasn't offering." Yes I was. I still am. Very much so. Damn.

"Good, because I didn't want you too…"

We looked at each other and the next thing I know we were meeting halfway across the couch lip locked and hands groping.

I pushed Riku back and we toppled over in a pile of limbs. His hands were already tangled in my hair and I was already coaxing his mouth open with my tongue. He opened his soft lips immediately and I grinned wickedly into our kiss. One of his hands came to grip my bicep, which was shuddering under my weight so I lowered myself onto his body, which writhed a little with the onslaught of excitement that, if there was any indication to the pressure on my thigh, was shooting right to his crotch.

I nipped at his lip and through the blood pounding in my ears filtered a delicious sexy little moan. I froze momentarily. Shit, did that just come from Riku?

I looked down at him wide eyed and amazed. Through his haggard breathing, he blinked up at me, slight confusion feigning his features. I swallowed and licked my lips, absolutely determined to hear that noise again.

Riku let out a breath he was holding when he saw me coming at him again, eyes more hungry than before. This kid was delicious.

My palms pressed firmly against his heated belly and I broke our kiss to nuzzle his neck before I started licking and nibbling against his throat. This time, I felt the moan bubble from his throat and closed my eyes at the overwhelming sensation that shot through me.

I heard his little gasp as he felt me grow hard against him and chuckled.

"It's okay, he's friendly." I grinned, not surprised to hear Riku's chuckle follow, but I noticed it seemed a little uncertain. I stopped nipping at his neck and propped myself up on an elbow.

I studied his face and sure enough, he seemed a little awkward. I wasn't surprised really. I merely grinned at him. "Hey, if you're scared of animals, then I better not release this beast quite yet." I smirked, watching Riku wet his kissed lips and glance at my zipper.

I moved to sit up but he gripped my shoulder, fingernails digging softly into flesh. I gave him a quick look and nearly laughed. He looked downright frustrated, like I had awakened something within him and he wasn't happy that I was leaving him hanging. Whelp, I guess I could give him a helping hand.

He didn't trust his voice… that much I could tell. In fact, I've come to learn very quickly that Riku wasn't all that into words to begin with. Which suited me fine. Hell, I could talk enough for both of us. We locked gazes and for a second I started at him, drowning myself in the colour of his intense eyes, they were amazing. My cock felt strained and I gritted my teeth.

Pushing him slowly back down against the couch, I resumed my place of straddling him, yet this time, I was settled closer to his knees and I bent my head to nip at his collarbone. His breathing increased again, and he gripped at my shoulders a little harder. My hand slid up slowly under his shirt to toy with sharp hipbones and I kneaded the heated flesh. It was smooth and warm and his scent was unique. He yanked my top up a little and I felt a draft over my back.

His button was undone and I had no problem sliding pants and boxers over slim hips. He only hesitated for a second, looking down at me with a first time fear which he tried to cover, but I smirked up at him impishly before giving his navel a slow hot lick. His eyes went to the ceiling then, hips bucking slightly as he tried to control his breathing.

As soon as my fingers wrapped themselves firmly around his cock, Riku moaned again, this time it was deep and raw. My vision blurred for a second as a wave of heat shot past my belly again. Him and that moaning... I was going to cum so hard if he continued.

My fiery hair caressed his pelvis as I gave an experimental lick to his head. I swirled my tongue around the tip and it was driving Riku crazy. I steadied him with a hand to his thigh and took him fully to the base, causing Riku's breath to hitch. I sucked ever so slightly, drawing my lips right back up feeling him shiver.

He said my name a few times in a breathy fashion and I've never heard it been said so enticingly before. He didn't last long after that, I felt his muscles tense and he pressed his head back against the couch as a strangled cry flew from his mouth as he came. I licked my lips and sat up with a drunken expression on my face.

Shit, I don't think sucking anyone off has felt so good before. He was still catching his breath as I watched him. His hair was sprawled in several directions and he opened his eyes. He smiled when he looked at me.

"That…" He breathed, "Was crap."

My jaw fell open and he cackled, sitting up and grinning wildly.

"If I knew you were going to be that shit, I would have tried it with my dog."

I shifted uncomfortably, erection taking way to long to die down; I might have to borrow his bathroom if the princess wasn't going to get his hands dirty.

"Yeah? Well, I ain't exactly de-tented over here, y'know?" He flushed a pretty colour then looked a little guilty for leaving me hanging. Yeah, well… he should. I'm aching over here. Although, I didn't mind so much I guess. As hot as his mouth wrapped around my cock would have been, I reaped my reward from hearing him moan my name. Poetry couldn't have sounded sweeter.

"Well I figured, you being my paper boy and all, that you were all for offering me your services." I blanched, feeling my eyelid tick. Oh, so out comes the cocky Riku huh? You suck a dick and you think you know a guy. Dead wrong.

I crossed my arms ready to do some serious pouting when a comfortable weight shifted into my lap, nicely muscled thighs nestled against my hips.

"I just wanted you to know," Riku breathed, hand coming up to twirl a lock of my hair between his fingers, "I'm not a whore or anything. I don't usually grab people from the street and make them do that" He stated sheepishly waving his hand in gesture.

I let my head fall back against the couch and regarded him. I quirked an eyebrow and grin.

"Good, but if I see any milkmen with an extra skip in their step, I know who I'm blaming."


A/N: Lmao. Well. They certainly jumped to it, didn't they? I just see Axel as the type of person to act either instinctively on his emotions, or very ployingly. I guess I chose instinctive and hot headed.

That was getting rather lengthy, so part two will be up shortly.

Tell me what you think?

To Be Continued.