When the entire forest was woken up at the ass-crack of dawn, everyone expected it to be because of the tallest resident of their quiet suburbia. For once, though, Zelda wasn't to blame. He was just as pissed off as everyone else. Especially when the culprit, a giant tawny owl, perched itself on his window and began hooting repeatedly.
"Zelda," the owl hooted, somehow able to speak perfect English despite no other animal having that ability in Hirule. "The Princess needs you."
"Oh sod off," Zelda groaned, rolling over and pulling his pillow over his head in one swift movement.
The owl ignored him. The son-of-a-bitch hooted again.
"Princess Peach has been kidnapped again. She needs a hero."
"Well she can goddamn find another one," Zelda said, briefly rolling over again to stare at the owl. "Frankly, I'm too busy for this."
The owl hooted indignantly. "Would you like to hear what I said again?" it asked, as if that was the only explanation for why Zelda was refusing the quest.
"No I bloody wouldn't."
Zelda groped sleepily at the side table until his fingers clasped around something. It was a jar with a pink fairy in it. Good enough.
He tossed it at the owl, earning another pissed off hoot. The owl ruffled his feathers, gave Zelda a look of disgust and then took off into the sky to find somebody else to do his dirty work.
"Finally," Zelda groaned, face-planting the pillow. He was snoring loudly within minutes.
He dreamed of fishes….
