RANDOMSTORY!

Hmm, it's a bit deep I guess, and may confuse you, but I enjoyed writing it. It's poetic at some parts and there is a metaphor located in here. There is romance included, and it becomes part of the main story, I just wanted to give you a glimpse into Macy's life and her struggle with herself. She's becoming her own in the story, and you are with her, so you will see her way of seeing things change as you read along. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own any JONAS characters or roses. I also do not own a quote I stole starting with "Love in it's purest form..." and ending with "...surprise found in your pocket". That is actually from one of my favorite books called "Honey, Baby, Sweetheart" by Deb Caletti.

x/x

The autumn air was crisp and inviting, leaving her with a cold nose but a warm heart. Her feet tapped along the trail twisted around throughout the peaceful meadow. Being here, behind her father's house, was one her favorite things to do in the fall. Especially at sunset. She loved to watch when the plains cradled the falling sun, while the trees became shadows blending in with the deep sky. It was at that exact moment, where she felt in tune with the universe.

Serene and alive all at the same time. She would stand firmly and if she stopped breathing for just a instant she could barely feel the Earth's tilt. And if only for a moment, she could slant with it, finding her place in this titanic world. And then, too quick too and too abrupt, she felt everything fade back to normal again, while she was still slightly bent. That, she decided, was the worse of it all. Leaving herself behind. She slowly stood up straight, descending back into her surroundings. She looked up at the golden sky, as if searching for a way to do it all over again, but instead, she came to a cloudy realization.

When she was six, and until a few years ago, this had been her only escape and place of belonging. Now, as her fingers slowly lifted to the simple silver heart necklace settling on her chest, she had found another. With him, there was no up, or down, left, or right, yes, or no. They just were. Like she was when she was here. When she was younger and would run out here, tears flowing from hearing her parents scream and argue at teach other until they were both red, and on the brink of not breathing, she didn't have to be anyone.

She would collapse into the dirt, just as the sun was beginning to hit the ground, like always, and breathe. And that was all she would need. A simple birth-known instinct, and she would be alright. She had to make sure she stayed out there until the surreal nature scene filled her lungs and soul as she walked back in the eerie, now silent house, in a daze. When she left the field, she was shoved into reality, where she was somebody she had created somewhere along the lines of her parent's fighting, her brother going in to war, and her chaotic home. When she met him, with his chocolate eyes, silky deep curls, and intense gaze, she fell into place with him immediately.

It was friendship at first, and that was all she wanted. A hug when she sobbed, words when she was speechless, basic love when she had given up on it. It was out in this meadow, three years ago, that she had found out her love went beyond the soothing lines and silly punchlines. It was a love, raw and buried deep within, but it was revealed out here, front and center. It was almost like all the blades of the rich, tall grass knew it all along too, because they swayed when she questioned her love for him. It was love in it's purest form. Not television love, with its glare and hollow and sequined glint; not sex and allure all high shoes and high drama, everything both too small and in too much excess, but just love. Love like rain, like the smell of a tangerine, like a surprise found in your pocket.

And yet, she found herself traveling back here every fall, hoping to find more. She felt as if this was the answer to life, self acceptance, love, and family. Her personal nirvana, she believed, and something to keep her existent and sane. But, this evening, she felt as if she was going out of her mind. Slowly dropping the heart from her slightly shaky hands, she remembered her last night in California.

x/x

"I'm leaving."

The words were awfully blunt and extremely plain, but he was sure he had heard them right. He looked up from the song he was currently writing to meet her striking eyes. He knew she was serious, and the simple luggage bad placed right at her feet were a dead give away. He started to freak inside his head, at the thought of losing his angel, but the words weren't forming. He said the only reasonable thing he could.

"What?"

Macy's eyes darted around the room. She had expected him to not take her seriously or quickly apologize for anything that would want to make her go, but she never expected that. His voice was low, and soft, and drenched with emotion. His face was in disbelief, and for a second she wanted to cancel the whole thing. But she thought of the swaying leaves and rustling branches and the tender smooth ground before finding her voice.

"I'm not sure when I'll come back, or if I will. But, there's someone I lost many years ago. And, last night, when you asked me to marry you, I just... I knew I couldn't do it. I said yes, because I couldn't disappoint you, but I'm not sure if I meant it. Everything just happened so fast to me,. and I realized that I can't give you myself forever, when I don't even have myself. You never had a chance to meet the person that I want you to know. I love you Nick, more than you will ever know, but this is something I have to do. For me."

By the end of her confusing explanation, she was in tears. Nick took a minute to let what she said process in his mind before taking a shallow breath and looking up at her once again. He wanted to yell, he wanted to cry, and he wanted to be happy for her, but this time, he needed to find the right words. Sadly, what came out was rushed and messy, and he was not sure they even made sense.

"Macy Valerie Misa, you are my world and beyond it. I may not ever understand why you have to do this, but I know you well enough to know that I have let you go. I'm never going to love anyone more than I love you, and I'm going to pray that you come back one day."

She lost her breath at the words he said. They weren't deep and poetic, but they made her feel needed, and in place, like she felt at her cozy nature spot. She silently wondered if that is what she wanted this whole time. She knew she needed to get away now, to come to a closure with herself and the world. She zoned back in to the bedroom they shared, Nick sitting on the bed with his legs on the floor, his elbows resting on his knees, and his face downwards with his hands covering them. She needed to be strong, for the both of them. It was then that she spoke the last few words before she left.

"Thank you for finishing my race. But now, I have to go back to the starting line and do this right."

She walked over to him and took him in her arms while he held on tightly as a silent final plead to stay. And with a soft, delicate kiss on a tear rolling down his cheek, she walked out of the door, and out of his life.

x/x

Now, she cocked her head towards the roses surrounding a tree near her. The sight appalled her, as she remembered always seeing those exact roses every time she visited here. However, too caught up in her mind, she never paid attention to them. She couldn't understand how they managed to stay alive when everything else around them seemed to die. In the winter, they would surely die, only to recover in the spring, she guessed. But how did they last with the blistering heat in the summer, and the lack of steady rain during that period to keep it healthy? The spring had to be common sense for them. They just knew it was their time to blossom without question when the time rolled around. When the world was rough on them, with no apologies or quick ways out, they could always count on spring to be there, like a much needed mother.

But at times like these, where it was harder to make it, who did they rely on? Her mind twisted and tangled before having another clearer understanding. Themselves. The spring was there, to guide them on their way, but it couldn't be there forever. Instead, the flowers had to learn and take the knowledge and wisdom from spring to blossom throughout hard times. As she stood up from the sober ground, her luggage bag in the same position it was three months ago, she knew what she had to do. She reached up to a low lying branch and plucked an orange leaf off, before kissing it gently, and then crumbling it in her hands and opening her hands to let the breeze blow them away, as darkness finally enveloped her.

x/x

His heart stopped for a moment. He took her in slowly and carefully, in fear of him rushing it just to find out it was another dream. She looked even more beautiful than the last time he saw her, and he didn't think that was possible. A plain black dress fell mid thigh showing off her tan, smooth legs and her simple silver flats. Her black hair was a little bit longer and loose, waves of asphalt ending gracefully. And while she looked breathtaking just as she was, something made him glow. The silver heart shaped necklace hung on her neck boldly contrasting with the sharp black material on her. He finally met her eyes, fortunate and hopeful, before smiling broadly. Then he opened his arms wide and walked closer to her.

"Come here baby."

Her heart flipped a few times. She didn't have a plan exactly when she came back. She wasn't even sure she made the right choice going back home. Would he have a new girlfriend? Would he take her back? She wasn't sure. But hearing the words he said made her nose to her toes tingle. Seeing the roses by the tree made her reach a startling conclusion. Every spring will not be the same. They evolve and transform every year. From previous years, they had been a time to resort to, and lean on. But, they had to learn to do things on their own, and not have an escape every time things became tough. Sure, spring would always be there, but the flowers needed to have themselves to get them through, and find their own personal spring within to grow and blossom. She figured she could never explain what she had been taught in the past three months to Nick, but she knew what she needed to know, and that's all she would have to tell him.

Running into his arms and clutching on to him, she took him in properly. He was wearing a white v-neck with plaid boxers, seeing as it was midnight. His hair was still curly and soft, and she could tell he had gotten a hair cut recently. She breathed in his fresh scent and let it intoxicate her. She lightly kissed his neck before meeting his eyes. She leaned in and kissed his lips lovingly but softly,yet needed desperately. They broke apart, both closing their eyes to savor the moment they had together again. He kissed her again, deeper and longer his time, before his lungs were starting to burn from the lack of air, and had to pull apart. He carefully rested his forehead against hers.

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

She gently shook her head. The next words that came out of her mouth were whispered and fragile, but they made Nick melt, land he just knew she was his eternity.

"I ran away from it."

He kissed her again, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and his hands found her waist. Then, as they fell in to their bed, more than satisfied to have each other, he whispered one more thing.

"You smell like roses."

x/x

This story really came out of nowhere. I was just going along with whatever I started, having no clue where it was going. I had a sudden inspiration from Jazmine writing her new story, (check it out, it has a really good story line. starts off a bit slow, but shes's very talented and you have to meet the characters first anyway!) and decided to go with it. I used pronouns a lot because I thought it made the story more bare and simple, and that's the tone I wanted to come out of it, since I thought it was a complex message she discovered. Anyway, I love reviews and would appreciate constructive criticism. Thank you for reading!