Meet the Mains

1999

Isai had a death grip on his controller, his fingers mashing the buttons in a frenzy, sweat trailing down his face. He was in a close race with his opponent. Both had only one stock and were heavily damaged. Sweat trailed down the young man's face as he sought to out-maneuver his foe. "C'mon, buddy—you've got this!" he hissed to himself.

"Don't worry, Isai!" panted a voice inside his head, confident and accented. "I've got your back! You can count on me!"

"I believe in you, old pal!" responded Isai. "We can do this together!"

"Just hang in there, my friend!" chimed in the voice. "Just a few more minutes, and he's ours!"

Isai watched the screen before him as the man in green lunged at his—their—opponent and threw a brutal forward punch which sent the other guy flying. Then, he jumped and kicked him hard in the gut, following up with quick bicycle kicks. Unfortunately, the opponent escaped the combo and slammed him back to earth with a crushing attack. But he immediately swept his legs and got up, raising his fists. In Isai's mind, he could see those fists shake a little, due to the man's timid personality—but his mouth was a hard line. The young man imagined sweat pouring off of his body, bruises mottling his face and blood smeared in some places.

"Isai—are you with me?" asked the man, never taking his eyes off the opponent.

"To the death," Isai replied.

As Isai threw the control stick forward, the man on the screen dashed back into the fray, matching Isai's button-pushing with frightful blows and kicks. He launched green fireballs at the opponent to space him out. He grabbed and threw to set up combos. Isai's fingers were killing him, but when he saw the encouraging light in the green-clad man's blue eyes, it barely even mattered.

"I don't think so, Isai!" the man in green interjected. "I'm not gonna let you give up that easily!"

"It's nothing," said Isai, quickly shaking out his fingers before beginning again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his opponent's surprise and confusion as he mashed random buttons on his controller. But Isai's skilled digits flexed gracefully over his own controller, corresponding to the graceful movements of the man in green as he slowly gained the upper hand over his foe, combo-ing him mercilessly against a familiar-looking tree with eyes, a nose and a mouth. His eyes flashed, passionate cries erupting from him as he battered the other fighter from all directions. Meanwhile, Isai's opponent's eyes bugged out of his head as he struggled to get the other fighter on the screen out of this jam. But Isai and the man in green were too fast. Too close. Too powerful. Too good.

PIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!

Isai's opponent wailed in dismay as his fighter was smashed out of the arena.

"GAME SET! This game's winner is—Luigi!"

"Yea! We did it!" crowed Isai as his right arm was raised in victory.

"Just like I knew we could," smiled Luigi as he was presented with the victor's spoils. "I'm proud of you, Isai."

"You, too, L. You, too."


2001

"L, amigo, stay with me! We've got them!" shouted Eddy México as he skillfully juggled between flicking his control stick and pressing the right buttons.

"He's right, my man! We can't slack off now!" added Steve Abate, sitting next to Eddy, engaged with his controller in a similar fashion.

Before them, two men, one in pink, one in green, squared off against an anthropomorphic fox and a veiled ninja. Both were beginning to exhibit signs of exhaustion, as the opposing team had beaten them down quite badly.

"Just think of the singles you've taken!" Eddy exhorted to the pink-clad one.

"Think of the brave thing you did last month!" Abate told the green-clad one.

The accented voice spoke in Eddy's head. "No worries, Eddy. We're just a little out of breath, is all."

"Yeah," the same voice chimed in inside Abate's head. "We're not throwing in the towel yet!"

The two men wavedashed across the battlefield, evading the short hop lasers the fox fired at them and the ninja's swift attacks. They moved in perfect synchronization, the one in pink attacking the ninja with karate chops and the one in green fighting a little more aggressively with the fox, getting in close, knifing his hand straight into him to finish. Meanwhile, the one in pink grabbed the ninja, swung her thrice and then spiked with a downward kick.

"How are you doing?" gasped the one in pink.

"Never better," replied the one in green.

They snapped back to attention as their opponents respawned and advanced on them. It was clear that they were angry and flustered.

"We're counting on you, Eddy and Steve," said the two mustachioed men. "Can we trust you?"

"You sure can!" Eddy replied enthusiastically. "Can Steve and I count on you?"

"Yes, you can!" they replied, bounding forward to meet the offensive from their opponents.

The crowd around Abate and Eddy went wild as they systematically mopped the floor with the opposing team. As their opponents stormed off in a salty huff, the two mustachioed men smiled at the two tournament players, having guided them to yet another victory.


2008

Blayd sat in his living room, propped up by cushions, holding his Wii Remote sideways as he fooled around with a CPU.

"Good thing you're keeping your skills sharp," said the accented voice in his head. "You have another tournament coming up in three weeks."

Blayd smiled. "Yeah. Let me know when you need a break."

"Nah, I'm good," replied the man on the screen as he kicked the CPU hard in the face and then dashed in with sissy fists. "Man, that was some adventure back there!"

"You mean Subspace?" asked Blayd.

"Yeah. Tabuu was pretty impressive, but we beat him!"

"With a little help from our friends, of course," added Blayd.

"So," said the man in green, "do you like my new palette swaps and my flipped cuffs?"

"I must say, pretty stylish," said Blayd, "but the graphics kinda suck. Just sayin'. The realistic look just doesn't cut it."

"I agree. They tried too hard to make my overalls look like real denim. Best not worry about that, though. So, who are we up against in our next tourney?"

"Meta Knight," groaned Blayd.

"Oh, Dio. He's broken. Something needs to be done about him."

"L, chillax. I know you'll beat him," reassured Blayd.

Luigi brightened. "You—really think so?"

"Yeah. I believe in you. I always have. Just like all of your old friends."

"Oh, Blayd. You warm my heart." He turned on his CPU foe with greater energy, chanting, "I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it…"

A lazy smile stretched Blayd's mouth. "Like you always said, you can do anything, if you put your mind to it."


2014

"That's it! You're getting better by the minute!" Mr. ConCon laughed as he watched the man on the screen gain an impressive vertical height with his Cyclone move.

"I'm getting dizzier by the minute," retorted the voice inside his head, "but it's so worth it."

"Are you ready to try it on an actual opponent?"

"Indeed. I'm ready for anything."

Mr. ConCon raised an eyebrow. "Is that your year talking?"

Luigi smiled. "I feel a lot better than I used to, knowing that I have a fan base and a few games to call my own," he winked, "and the fact that so many people are maining me—I never thought…"

"Look, you may have started off as a clone, but what attracted us to you is how unique you are on the inside," said Mr. C. "And look at the techniques you've perfected over the years. The Luigi Ladder, your L-cancelling, your combos—you are—amazing."

Luigi kicked the ground. "It's been a long journey, though," he murmured.

"And look what came of you sticking it out," Mr. C said admiringly. "You're my main, for better or worse."

"Thank you very much, Mr. C," beamed Luigi. "It's always nice to be appreciated."


Isai.

Abate.

Eddy México.

Blayd.

Mr. ConCon.

These five men had one thing in common.

They were Smash players.

And their blood, sweat and tears were poured into one Smasher.

Luigi.

They were the only people who could truly understand him. He was the only Smasher who could truly understand them. Why else did they click so easily?

Luigi loved the men who mained him, and these men loved their main. They took on the world of Smash together.

Oh, how little did they know—how it would all go horribly wrong—


Are you intrigued?