It's been years since either Dean or Sam have heard anything from Jamie. For all they know, she could be dead. All they knew was a few years back, a post card was sent to Bobby's for them. Something she would do whenever she moved so they knew where to go if needed. Both Winchester boys never needed it, not until now. The only time she was contacted, it was Bobby that showed up on her front porch, sent by Sam and Dean, to let her know that John had died and that they were going to give him a hunter's funeral as soon as Bobby got back. And that was last year.
Dean never thought that he would be doing this, driving to the last known address for Jamie. He was only doing this to shut Sam up. As he drove his baby, his jaw clenched and hand gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white. Sam was biting his bottom lip nervously messing with the hem of his shirt. "Do you think she'll even recognize us?" he asks softly. "Sam, don't." Dean spat. "If you're going to act like this, then maybe you shouldn't get out of the car." Sam said calmly, not wanting to start a fight. Dean scoffed, pulling into the drive way of the last known address they had of Jamie. "I won't give her the satisfaction."
Sam and Dean get out of the Impala, walking slowly. "How do you know she's even home? It is only one in the afternoon. Maybe she's working." Sam said, his voice shaking a little. As the slowly walk up the steps of the porch of the one level house, Dean points to the freshly washed and waxed purple mustang parked in front of the garage. Sam pushes the doorbell once. A few seconds had past and Dean starts impatiently knocking on the locked screen door. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" they hear someone from inside yell. A few seconds later, a woman with curly brown hair, standing at 5'6", wearing a white wife beater and dark jeans that are both covered in oil and grease, answers opens the door, wiping off her hand with a white cloth. Her eyes open wide with shock as she looks up at Dean and Sam, "Boys." she breathes.
Jamie unlocks the screen door and opens it, "Come in." she says, a faint smile on her face. She locks the screen door and main door behind her and walk behind the two men as they take in her house. It was very open, one could see basically all the rooms from any point of the house, save the bedrooms and one of the bathrooms. It would be hard for someone to hide themselves here. All the floors are hard wood, the kitchen being white tiles. All the walls were a cream color, covered in photos and paintings, which both Sam and Dean recognized very well.
Jamie puts the now dirty white cloth in her back pocket, walking a little faster than the boys, "So, how have you two been?" she says nervously, walking them into the kitchen. She gets herself a glass of water and asked if they were thirsty. Dean and Sam declined. "Ok then." Jamie says as she pulls her hair back and a pony tail. "Um…well…" she grabs a plate that was a few feet away from her on the counter, holding it up in front of her surprise guests. "I made some chocolate chip cookies just a few hours ago before I started working on my baby." she tucks her stray bangs behind her ears. "That's why I look less than my best." she says with a chuckle. When neither of the Winchesters said anything, they just looked at Jamie. Sam's look wasn't necessarily a blank one, more like he had a million things on his mind and didn't know what to say. But Dean's look was unmistakable. It was one of pure anger.
Jamie takes a deep breath and puts her palms on the isle in front of her. "Say something. We're family. It shouldn't be this awkward." Dean scoffs at Jamie, Sam groans, as if to tell him not to start anything. They had just gotten there, anyway. "Family?" Dean questions. "I don't know if you have any right to call us family." "Dean," Sam pleads softly, "Stop." "No, no." Jamie says, her head down, "Let him talk. I asked him to." Dean slowly takes a few steps, his hands balling into fists in his jacket pockets. "Talk? You see, I'm not sure if there's anything to really talk about." Jamie nods. "See, we could talk about the weather, that sweet car you have outside, how we've all been all these years. Or hey, maybe about how you abandoned us when I was 12 and Sam was 8!" Dean exclaimed. Jamie lifts her head slightly, looking up through her eyelashes. "Me leaving was never about you."
Dean chuckles to himself. "Right, I remember that being a part of your speech the night you left." "Dean, quit it. Now." Dean looks back at his little brother who's standing solid, like a statue, fists balled up, for some reason not able to look up. "Look, you may be able to forgive so easily, but I can't." Dean looks back at Jamie. "You left, and everything was on my shoulders. Everything! I was 12! How was I supposed to know how to take care of anyone but myself?! To keep our family together!" "Dean." Jamie breathed, tears threatening to fall her eyes, and Dean's as well. "You were my big sister! The one person that both of us could rely on and because you just had to leave, that was left to me!" "That same responsibility was mine when I was only 10 years old." Jamie says through her teeth, now glaring up at Dean, "Or do you not remember? The night mom died, dad shut down, becoming less of a father, so I had to be the parent to a four-year-old and a six month old when I was only 10." "He may not have been father of the year, but he did the best he could." Dean defended. "His best wasn't good enough! He could have raised us in Lawrence. Or left us with one of mom's cousins. Hell, he could have left us at Uncle Bobby's even! But no, he was so consumed with revenge, his children came second." Jamie says in pure bitterness. "He was coping for his wife." Sam blurted. "And I was coping for my mother!" Jamie almost screeched. "Dean has some memories of mom and that night she died, but I had ten years with her. And I was the one that had to pull dad out of Sam's nursery!" Jamie makes herself stop, noticing that she's now gripping on her forearm, her nails nearly cutting deep enough for her to bleed.
Sam can't help it. Sure, he's mad at her for leaving all those years ago. Mad for her pure anger towards their father, like he was dirt, but this was his big sister. The closest thing he ever remembered having to a mother. Sam steps around the isle and hugs his sister tight from the side, her hand slipping up, patting his shoulder. Jamie smiles grimly, biting back the tears, and kisses his cheek. She takes a deep sigh as Sam releases from the hug and steps back. "Well, now that that's over, at least for now," she hurries the last part, knowing what he was going to say next, "I'm sure you didn't drive all the way here to yell at me." Her stare turns into concern. "What's wrong?" Both brothers share a look and Dean sighs, as if he lost a mental argument. "I…last year, I saw Sam die," Jamie's hand automatically grabs for Sam's, "And I couldn't take it, so I sold my soul for him to live." Dean clears his throat, "I have less than a year, and Sam insists on breaking this somehow and we figured since you were always so interested in Christianity and demonology, you would know a weakness in demons that we don't already know."
Jamie slowly lets herself fall against the counter behind her, her arms bracing her, as she takes this all in, different waves of emotions hit her. Her family had died or is going to. How could Dean say this nonchalantly? She felt anger, sadness, and fear all at the same time. And Winchesters don't do fear very well.
Her eyes become glistened with tears. Her head snaps up to Sam, the baby boy she had partially raised, who's now hesitantly walking towards her again. Then she looks over to Dean, the happy, free little boy she remembered no longer existing, having to be dad's soldier and Sam's protector had taken a hold on him, making him look too old at such a young age. Jamie's heart broke. She slid down to the floor. Dean now on her right. "How," she says quietly, to herself mostly, "How could I let this happen?" she was numb, trying to keep a wall up around the feelings that were trying to burst through her. Sam kneels down and places a hand on her shoulder. "Why didn't anyone tell me?!" she yelled, looking back and forth between her baby brothers. "What would you have done?" Dean asks bitterly. "Get on your white horse and become the hero of the family you haven't been a part of for 16 years?"
Jamie's head snaps up at Dean, looking at him but not in his eyes. She couldn't make herself look him in the eyes. "My life isn't that easy to just pack up, but I would have done something. I would have…" Jamie brings her knees to her chest. "Why didn't I know anything? Why didn't you come to me earlier?" She says as she rocks herself, trying to stop the tears. She looks at Dean again, who's sitting on the balls of his feet. Her sweet little boys. All they've ever done is help people, they're whole lives have been about doing so, never truly doing anything for themselves. All Dean's ever wanted was his family to be together, and now he was going to die. He was going to HELL. Jamie couldn't help it, she just couldn't. She lunges at Dean, sitting on her knees, her arms wrapped tight around his neck, hugging him tightly.
Dean wasn't sure how to react. Part of him, a huge part of him, wanting to return the hug, weigh all his fears and sadness on someone else for a change, like he used to all those years ago, but another part of him couldn't allow that. Couldn't allow her to be forgiven so easily. She was the first to abandoned him, and the only one that stayed away. How could she do that to him? As the war of emotions inside Dean fought, he chose let himself give in, just a little. He let out a sigh of relief, resting his head on her shoulder, keeping his arms to his sides. He did miss this. The feeling that everything was going to be ok, someone else was going to make it right. Missed not having to feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. Jamie gave him that, she gave him so much growing up. Then, one day, it was ripped away.
With that thought, he gently grabbed her arms and removed her from him, slowly getting up. All Jamie could do is sigh, letting her body fall a little. Dean had every right to push her away. Hell, if he wanted to, she couldn't even be mad at him if he put his hands on her. She looked to Sam, who had his hand on her shoulder, looking at her as if he was a little kid again, wanting to make his big sister feel better. Sam helped her stand back up, the three of them wandering into the living. Dean, of course, was the only one who decided not to sit down. "So, first off, what in the HELL has happened in the past few years? How did dad die?" she glared at Sam, "How did you die?" Dean just looks up at Sam, letting him know that he wasn't going to be the one to tell this story. Sam breathed in deeply. "It's an extremely long story." "And I've got time." she countered.