A/N: So I owed a friend a story and she said to surprise her. For now it's a one-shot.


I flicked my six-shooter out of it's holster and spun it on my finger. Miss Mary Margaret likes to scold me about my behavior but frankly I don't give a damn. The school teacher has her heart in the right place but she doesn't know nothing about the outlaws we've got running around these parts. They're like Coyotes at a barbeque around here.

The varmint currently running circles 'round me is Mr. Gold. Now I don't have any problem with a businessman, not even a dirty one. Lord knows we have enougha those 'round here. Cain't swing a cat without hittin' one. But when you go an try messin' with our madam mayor, that's when I have a problem. That woman put the fury in 'a woman scorned' and she don't need any help there.

My job is not only to keep our town safe from the likes of Gold, but to keep our madam mayor pleased as punch. As of recent she hasn't been too pleased. Between my deputy and I, we've managed to let Gold slip through our fingers a baker's dozen of times. Ruby and her gran have shut me out of the saloon until I can get their landlord on the level, and even my boy Henry's been giving me the stinkeye. It ain't my fault the crocodile is more slippery than a buttered mole rat.

The click of heels on hardwood alerted me that I better get off my arse. I tucked my weapon into it's holster and yanked my hat off as Mayor Mills walked into the station in all her glory. I'll be damned if she ain't be looking mighty fine today. "Howdy madam mayor, I was jus about to-"

She gave me a glare that choked any words I had in my throat, "Cut the crap sheriff. I'm not in the mood for a runaround. Have you found Gold yet?" Uhhh, no but I ain't tellin you that.

I gulped and fiddled with my hat. "Well ma'am, we're uh, we're gettin closer to 'im. I'm confident we'll have him within the week." Nolan you better not be flirting with Mary Margaret or I swear I'll castrate you like a three year old steer.

Mayor Mills folded her arms across her chest and looked me over, "You know Sheriff Swan I hired you because you claimed that we would be safer with you in charge. I don't just hire a female Sheriff without turning heads. You had better hold up your end. Because if you don't? I won't need your badge and gun, we'll move straight to a funeral." Damn she is one cold woman.

I forced back a shudder and nodded my head, "Y-yes ma'am. You have my word, by the end of the week we'll have Gold."

She turned on her heels and walked out of my station. She paused at the door, "One week Sheriff." She warned, chilling my soul. I swear, if you cain't take the heat, piss off the mayor. She'll remove any memory of heat long before an ice bath can do the trick. Sweat ran down the back of my neck and it didn't have anything to do with the humidity.

I looked down at the hat in my hands, I'd bent the rim out of shape again. If I'm not too careful I'll end up needing Gepetto to make me a new one. I set my hat back on my head, adjusted it and stepped out into the hot sun. The whole town smells of roasted dirt and clay. It follows you everywhere except the Mayoral mansion. Not a fiend in the depths of hell would ever think of tracking dust into that woman's house. The last man to do that found himself as an ornament in a coyote den.

The one thing I've always wondered is what was going through that woman's head. She founded this town in the middle of nowhere with injuns on all sides. They don't bother us, but no one makes it past their boundaries. We're tied to this little patch of dirt, no one comes, no one goes. Except our very own Mr. Gold. Ain't no one's dumb enough to tell him no. I once saw the mayor herself knuckle under the minute he said please. Granted I ain't ever seen him say please before either.

I untied my horse and slung onto her back. "Come on bug, let's go see what Nolan's up to. I bet you a penny a pound he's chattin up that teacher Miss Mary Margaret." She's a good ol' mare. Yellow Palomino. Madam Mayor likes to joke that she's gonna keel over one day, but I think the girl has a few more good years in her. We set off to the hind side of town where the teacher lived and worked. She had a little shack right next to the school house.

I rode up to see Nolan with his hat off, flirting when he shoulda been looking. "Nolan what in tarnation are you doing flirtin with Miss Mary Margaret? We've got real work to do!" I pulled my horse to a stop beside him, showering my deputy with dust. Serves him right. The mayor's gonna have my hide if we don't think of some way to get to Mr. Gold. I still don't even know how he gets in and out of town. Only a few miles out is almost a perfect ring of injuns and rabid coyotes.

The woman blushed a dark red, "Sorry Sheriff. I didn't know I was keeping him. You can call me just Mary, or Ms. Blanchard or something. My name's a bit of a mouthful." Tch, maybe I like sayin' your name. Or just maybe I like the way yer man gets all flustered when I mention you. Any other way he can pretend not to know you, but lord knows there ain't no way there're two Mary Margarets in one town.

Nolan sighed and kissed Mary Margaret's cheek before putting his hat back on. "I'll see ya later darling." He grinned. She stifled a girlish giggle and Bug shifted underneath me. Probably reading my mind like horses are won't to do. I'm gettin' antsy and so is she.

By the time Nolan had finished flirting with his woman and mounted his horse I was ready to whip some sense into him. "Come on Nolan! Let's cut a choggie." He rolled his eyes and looked to me for direction. I grinned from ear to ear and squeezed Bug's sides to push her into action, "Hyah!"

We thundered out of town sounding like a whole regiment of injun whooping and hollarin' like there ain't no tomorrow. Madam Mayor says she don't like the law sounding like a group of ruffians out to hijack an express carriage but I think she secretly feels safer knowin we ain't afraid of nothin, no matter how dangerous. "Where we going Swan?" Nolan yelled over the wind, holding onto his hat for fear it'd go flying.

I flashed him a dust coated grin, "The one place we dun gone and forgot to check Nolan! The mines! I'll bet you a pound a penny he's got some kind of tunnel leadin' out civilization." It would certainly explain why those cussed midgets we so eager to help. No one 'round here helps unless it gets them somethin' they want.

He let go of his hat, trusting to the brim to keep it on and set his hand on his revolver, "What you think we're gonna find Sheriff?" He looked a tad more alert now.

Nolan you idgit. He's not gonna just go wandering around out here. No one's fool enough to do that cept perhaps you. "I think we're gonna find that rat in the larder, and we're gonna turn him over to the fine Mayor. Sommat tells me she has somethin in mind besides the stocks for'im."

My deputy shuddered. He doesn't really have the stomach for this kind of work, but we all gotta put food on the table somehow. He ain't bad with a pistol when he can bring himself to shoot, an' he's got a good eye for trouble brewing. That's really all I need. It helps that my boy Henry likes'im so much. There ain't much I do without talking to my boy first. Hell, even the Mayor likes him, an' that's saying something.

As we neared the mines we slowed down. No use trying to catch a varmint if you come thundering in with a dust cloud billowing behind you to tell'im which way to run. When we got closer to the mouth of the tunnel I dismounted, leaving Bug to wander. It ain't good to tie'em up out here. They need to be able to run if coyotes or injuns or a storm come at'em. Nolan followed my lead as I crouched low and crept up to the mine. That damned hole is blacker than sin, but I'll be hogtied in a manure pit if our Mayor ain't twice as scary.

I pulled out my skinning knife and walked along the left side of the tunnel, leaving shallow cuts as we walked. That way if we ever got lost we could just follow the grooves on our right to find our way out. I just pray we don't have to go too deep. This place gives me the heebie-jeebies somethin' awful.

We followed the minecart tracks for a long time. Long enough that our legs started to ache, and my arm got tired of leaving those markings. I passed Nolan the knife and had him leave the marks for a spell. It won't be any use if the cuts are too shallow to find. It musta been hours we were down there. The darkness started to twist and dance in our peripherals. I couldn't bring myself to light a torch down here either, even a candle would announce our presence.

I'm starting to think we've got the wrong place. I turned around to my deputy, "Nolan." I hissed. He slapped his hand over my mouth right as a light flickered down at the barest edges of my sight, and the dulcet tones of our own Mr. Gold sounded deeper into the mines. "What do you mean there's no gold? You've been finding pounds of it all through here! Keep digging before I find you a new reason to do this for me. If we're going to beat that town of ragamuffins into submission we need firepower to do it. That means money. So KEEP DIGGING!"

Aw hell no. I patted Nolan's arm to signal that I got the goream message and he finally released my mouth. I signaled that I was gonna move closer, and drew my six shooter. The worst possible thing right now would be if Gold caught me unawares. I crept closer, staying as silent as possible.

There's Gold. I guess I know where he got his name now. He was bent over a whole bag filled with gold dust and nuggets. He turned to look at one of his miners and I ducked behind cover quickly. "You, get these shipped out of town. I need to go speak to our contacts." He waved a hand and turned to head down yet another pitch black tunnel. It seems Nolan and I are the only ones uncomfortable in this pit.

Well I can't get to him from here. We'll just stay outside the mine entrance until Gold comes out. He can't keep shaking down the town unless he comes to visit. I took my time creeping back to Nolan. Now that I have a location I don't want to goof it up. I got back to where I'd left my deputy and immediately I knew something was off. My knife sat abandoned on the ground beside the cut-marks.

Before I had a chance to guess what had happened a torch flashed into existence and I found my deputy. I stood at attention, cocked my gun, and aimed right at the man holding David before I even knew who it was. Gold. "Let him go."

Gold cackled and pulled his arm tighter around David's throat. "Ah ah ah dearie. Everything comes with a price." He pulled a gold plated revolver from the holster on his hip and pressed it to David's ever-reddening temple, "You wouldn't want the poor deputy to suffer a sudden vacancy would you?"

I gritted my teeth, uncocked my weapon and holstered it. "We can talk about this Gold." Or you could put the goream gun down and I'll beat you to a pulp for holding my deputy at gunpoint. Your choice.

He bared his teeth at me in a semblance of a smile, "Oh no dearie, I don't think we'll need to do that." He chuckled, "I'll just kill you, and then your deputy. It's not like you can stop me." The look of derision on his face made me sick. I just want to strangle the lizard.

I raised my hands in a placating gesture, "You're right, but if you kill me, do you really think our Madam Mayor is really gonna let you keep your hide? You're already a liability here Gold. What's gonna stop'er from callin in her friends with the injuns and whipping you?" Think of something Swan! Goreamit!

A light went off behind his eyes and Gold shifted, looking a tad less confident in his position now. "What are you suggesting dear? I don't have all day."

I've got him! Now I gotta reel'im in. What would Gold go for? "A deal!" I blurted.

His lips widened into a freaky as hell reptilian smile. I swear if he ain't the spawn of satan he's missing a fine opportunity. That's a grin even a snake done gonna scream at. "A deal?" He purred, "I'm listening."

I kept my hands in front of me but didn't move an inch. His grip on Nolan was loosening. If nothing else my deputy can breathe now. "A showdown in town. Noon. I'll clear the streets. Just you and me Gold. If I win you get the hell outta dodge and don't ever show your face here again. All debts forfeited, you lose all your holdin's and they go to the city."

Rage shot across his face and I swear he was gonna hiss at me. "That's quite the little demand there Sheriff Swan." He looked me over, "My terms will be equally serious. If you lose, you give up your badge, all debts will be called in immediately, and any debtors will work off their loans in these mines." What else does he want?! My goream son?! "Oh, that that boy of yours. I think he would do well in the mines. If you lose he will work here until the age of twenty-five. Wage free." I spoke too soon.

I chewed the inside of my lip. Gold ain't no dueler. He don't know shit about guns. I have a chance. Henry forgive me. "Deal."