A series of hopefully funny one shots about Emmett's many adventures. I hope you enjoy it. I have put this status as completed as I don't when it will be as I will adding to it a lot. If you have any ideas, let me know ;)
The Indestructible Phone
Emmett jabbed his phone, trying to dial Rosalie's number on the small buttons. "Stupid buttons. Stupid phone." He muttered.
Rosalie wandered into the room. "Emmett what are you doing?" She asked.
Emmett whirled around and put his phone behind his back. "Nothing." He said as innocently as he could.
"Were you going to prank me again?" Rosalie sighed.
"No." Emmett replied, pressing call.
Barbie girl filled the air and Rosalie pulled out her phone. "Hello?" She asked.
There was no reply and Rosalie frowned. "Hello? Look whoever this is, it's rude to call someone and not talk. Now you called me so what the hell do you want?" She ranted.
Emmett couldn't contain his laughter anymore and burst into fits of giggles.
Rosalie's eyes narrowed and she threw her phone at him. "Pig. That's the eighth time this week." She snarled before storming off.
Emmett chuckled before starting to dial Wal-Mart. He forgot to withhold his strength and poked a hole right through the phone. "Opps. Carlisle! I need a new phone!" He called.
"That's the eightieth time this week!" Carlisle called back in horror, shocked that his son broke yet another phone.
"Sorry?" Emmett replied.
Carlisle just sighed in his study and picked up the phone. "Desperate times calls for desperate measures."
"Hello, this is Desperate Measures." A man's voice answered on the other end.
"Hello, Desperate Measures, this is Desperate Times. I'm in need of one of your indestructible phones." Carlisle requested.
"I'll send one to you right away. So how you been DT?" Desperate Measure, AKA Martin Fielder a technologist for the army and for Vampires, asked.
"I'm good, DM. Develop any new stuff?" Carlisle replied.
"Apart from a ray that creates any item the user requires, not much really?" Martin sighed.
Alice and Emmett ran into the room at the same time, hearing the conversation with their Vampire Hearing.
"Can it create shoes?" Alice cried.
"Can it create Doughnuts?" Emmett asked excitedly.
Both Alice and Carlisle stared at him. "You can't eat human food." Alice pointed out.
Emmett shrugged. "Was just wondering. Man, those doughnuts make awesome Frisbees. Makes the local cops go wild."
"Yeah, I have to go DM. We just found the culprit behind Forks' recent Cop obesity rise." Carlisle told Martin.
"Okay, see ya DT." Martin replied and the two men hung up.
A week later, the Indestructible phone which was able to withstand even bombs arrived at the Cullen Home.
Emmett grabbed it before the mail man had even gotten out of the car. He had opened up the back and located the parcel within minutes. He had also found a package sent to Edward and Bella.
He walked up to them and tossed the pair of pink furry handcuffs at them before walking into the house, leaving the embarrassed couple to withstand the laughter, from the family and Jacob, and the dry heaves, from Nessie.
When they finally entered the house, they saw Emmett happily pushing at the buttons on the phone using all his strength. The metal didn't even bend.
Barbie Girl once again filled the air and Rosalie flipped open her phone. "Hello? Hello? Hello? Are you there? Hey, you called me! Answer me!" She yelled into the phone.
Emmett chuckling keyed her into what had happened and she snapped the phone shut. "EMMETT!" She yelled.
"It works." Emmett grinned.
"We noticed." Jasper said, grinning slightly at Rosalie. Sometimes she could be so blonde.
"This phone is awesome! Look, it can withstand anything." Emmett gushed.
He ran into the kitchen and the others followed him. He placed the phone in the Microwave and set it to full power. "See, it can handle microwaves without exploding. Ten of my last phones couldn't."
"I know." Esme sighed, being the one who had had to clean battery acid off of the appliance.
Emmett ran outside, the family once more following him, and put the phone on the floor. He picked up a huge boulder and put it on top of the phone.
"It can withstand Boulders. Seven of my last phones couldn't!" Emmett crowed.
"I know." Jacob sighed. He had been the one to step in it numerous times and had ended up picking it up.
Emmett picked the phone up and looked at it. "It can truly handle anything!" He grinned.
The phone suddenly slipped from his fingers and landed in the Cullen's pond.
There was a crackle and it burst into flames. After the flames died out and the phone had sank, Emmett picked it out and tried to turn it on.
The light of the screen lit up and Emmett laughed. "See it really is indestructible."
The screen suddenly turned off and the phone fell to pieces in his hand. Emmett stared in shock at the pieces on the floor. "None of my other phones did that!"
Rosalie began to applaud lazily. "Wow, Emmett. You're the only person in the world to break an indestructible phone." She drawled.
Emmett grimaced and looked up at Carlisle. "Uh, I need a new phone." He said.
Carlisle sighed and pulled out his own phone. "Desperate Measures, it's me, Desperate Times."
Please Read and Review. I hope you enjoyed this. Let me know that you think. Next One shot: Nessie's first word (inspired by Micheal MacIntyre)
