A one-shot in Jacob's POV after he ignores Bella. He does show up at her window that night, but she never sees. Song-fic
The Reason-Hoobastank
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
Standing there, I looked into her window, devastated. She laved on her bed, crying her eyes out. How could I do this to a poor, innocent girl? I wished somehow to change all that, to take her into my arms and tell her that I would always be there for her. But I can't, and I never will be able to.
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
I didn't choose this life. It chose me, and how I wish it didn't, for I could still be there for you if this never happened.
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I reached into my back pocket, taking out the crumpled letter for her. If I were to leave her, at least I would let her know that I was sorry, and that I didn't want to.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
Ever since I met you, I have been a better person, and all I have done in your time of need is throw you down harder. All the bad luck in the world seems to be bestowed upon me, except for the luck that led me to meeting you.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
As I watched her fall asleep, I thought of how I was going to be able to move on, and get over her. Realization hit me hard, like a tidal wave. I wasn't going to be able to move on, and I had to live with that pain.
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
Even in your sleep you wear a frown on your face, and sobs occasionally break through your full lips.
And be the one that catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
The only thing I can take away from this is that I am not the only one that hurt her. Maybe he should see her now, see all the pain that he caused her. I just wish that I could stop the pain inflicted on her, and be her sun once again.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
Creaking her window open, I placed the letter on her dresser, before turning from her, to leave her life, for good.
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
Dear Bella,
I am sorry, what I became is too dangerous for you to be around. I am no good for you. The only thing I don't regret about leaving you is knowing that you still have Charlie. He will be there for you. Be good, be safe, for me.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
Please don't be mad at me. I couldn't live with myself if that happened.
Your Personal Sun,
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
Jacob
And the reason is you
