DISCALIMER: I OWN FUCKING NOTHING!

Prologue.

Lily rested her head against the window of the flying plane. She had cried so much that she was sure nothing would come if she were to break down again, so now she let the sky cry for her.

Her heart was broken , shattered and now it felt shriveled inside of her, a shadow of what it once was and once held.

Love.

But now she felt her entire world stained in pain and hate and she couldn't help but relive every moment that brought her to such a state.

Flashback

Lily was glowing as she ran up the steps to her boyfriends flat. She had a bottle of wine in her hand and a nervous smile on her face.

She loved her boyfriend, but had yet to tell him. She knew she should and it seemed that now she had no choice. She smiled again as she walked up the stairs.

James Potter, her Hogwarts sweetheart, the love of her life. They're relationship was quite a surprise, she was chubby and nerdy while he was popular and sinfully handsome, but people got used to it. And if they didn't she didn't notice .

She took out her key and opened the door. She walked in and stopped to pick up his cloak that had fallen on the floor.

She walked in a little more and noticed his tie on the floor. Laughing slightly she picked it up and walked into the living room where she saw something strange, His shirt was on the floor and so was another.

It was a woman's shirt.

Lily burrowed her eyebrows and tried to think of a rationale explanation she followed the few articles of clothing, which consisted of James' favorite pair of jeans, and a small red skirt, black heels and his dragon hide boots.

Gulping down a lump in her throat, she gripped the doorknob to James' bedroom. She heard unmistakable sounds through the door and attacking her very will to live, but she had to see for herself if her worst nightmare had come true.

It had.

James was naked on his back while a very naked woman rode him in pleasure. They were both moaning loudly and Lily saw her best-friends familiar blond hair. Her gorgeous pure-blood best friend that she had so often poured her heart out to.

She felt like someone was drowning her, and she was dying fast enough.

Taking a rattled breath lily tried to think of what to do, she felt her cheeks become wet salty tears that tasted bitter on her tongue.

There was a loud crash and lily vaguely noticed that her grip had become loose around the wine bottle she brought for James.

Waking up she realized it was too much and she fled the room, still letting the silent tears mar her face.

She ran.

She suddenly foudn herself inside her car, still crying and unable to stop. She stared ahead and blankly let everything wash over her like an angry tide

She sensed something and looked up to see him standing there staring at her with guilt flowing out of his every pore. She couldnt take it so she turned on her car and drove it a fast as she could down the road.

She went to the place that she had visited only earlier that day. She blindly groped the door and stumbled into the small waiting room of the Women's Clinic. The receptionist saw her and immediatly rushed to her side.

"Miss, are you all right?" the woman asked but lily began sobbing.

" I have to get rid of it, I have to .. right now" Lily exclaimed still sobbing. It took quite a while but she managed to calm down. She spoke with the doctor and he told her that she would have to come back when she was mentally stable.

Lily then turned to the door and stumbled out clutching her stomach and at a loss of what to do.

Then she felt someone grab her shoulder she looke up to see him and she wrenched out of his touch.

"Lily, please, Im sorry let me explain" he pleaded.

"No, its done. I'm going to leave right now and you are not going to follow me" she said hoarsely.

"But lily wait..." he trailed off as he noticed a sign on the window of the building.

" what were you doing here?" he demanded with fear in his voice. Lily tunred to his line of vision and saw the same sign. Making up her mind she silently apologized to her baby.

"Ridding myself of the last of you" she said in a voice that sent chills through his body. She went into her car leaving James in a state of shock.

End flashback.

Lily unconsciously rubbed her stomach, It was slightly pudgy, but then again it always had been.

She knew something like that would happen. Deep down she had always known that she wasn't good enough for him.

It still didn't lessen the pain, if anything it intensified it. She was a fool, now she led him to believe that she had killed the one thing that would link them forever, he would never want anything to do with her again.

It was that obvious when he had left her alone after that. She was partly grateful for it. She couldn't stay in London. She had to get away.

So she sold everything she owned, except her wand and a locket that her sister had given her.

It took her two days, she went to Gringotts and converted all of her money into American muggle money. Luckily she seemed to make a large sum of money with all of her belongings. She went to muggle London and bought a few outfits, just enough to fill a single suitcase.

She sent an own to her parents and to her sister to let them know she was going away for a while and she would contact them as soon as she could.

Now she was on a plane, destined for JFK airport.

She was 18 years old and she was leaving everything she loved, everything she knew, she was disappearing from the only world that accepted her and she was blindly going into something she couldn't control.

The only thing that was left of her past was growing inside of her, and she wasn't even sure if she could keep that.

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