Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize except May.
Chapter 1
New Beginnings
(Aren't All They're Cracked Up To Be)
One of the most prominent things I remember from when I was first captured by HYDRA was confusion. I was scared, of course, but the confusion was easier to focus on than the fear.
I had woken up strapped to a chair in an empty room, facing a mirror, and I was confused. Back then I hadn't known about one-way mirrors, so when a voice spoke through the speakers I had wondered briefly if I had died and this was God's way of punishing me for letting Tom die, but after a while I realized that God probably didn't have a German accent.
"We have become aware of certain abilities that you hold, and I plan to help you realize them."
"Who are you!" I had yelled, looking up at the ceiling, in all the corners, trying to find any clue on who was holding me, who this man was.
"My name is Arnim Zola, and I'm a scientist."
…
My name is May, former captive of a rogue Nazi group called HYDRA, and I'm insane. Or I must be, anyway, or there's no way I'd be in my current situation.
I was born a long time ago, in 1938, but when I was fifteen I was taken off of the streets and for years I was experimented on, and when I wasn't being kept in isolation I was kept in cryostasis, until I was able to escape back to the streets, over half a century later, and for two years I was able to survive on my own before Steve Rogers and Agent Rumlow were sent to bring me to S.H.I.E.L.D., right before it was revealed that they had been compromised.
I left with Steve and Natasha Romanoff and we set out to figure out what was going on, later figuring out that HYDRA had compromised S.H.I.E.L.D. and were planning on using Project Insight to kill millions of people, and we were able to reprogram the carriers in time to stop them from killing anyone despite the Winter Soldier – HYDRA's master assassin – trying to stop us along the way.
Once the carriers were down, I left with the Soldier so I could try to heal the damage done to him by HYDRA and help him regain his memories, in return for him protecting me from people who wanted to capture me for my healing powers.
And I was currently checking into a motel with said Soldier after having walked nearly five miles in the dark and the cold after the car he had stolen broke down on the side of the freeway in what had looked at the time to be the middle of nowhere.
We had been making good time, having traveled around four hours west before the car stopped, and after walking for about an hour longer had made it to Raleigh, North Carolina. (Comment if you live in NC!)
The Soldier had gone around to the back of the building, waiting near the back exit, while I had been instructed to get a two bed room since I was definitely the less suspicious of us two, even with the Soldier wearing the oversized sweater found in the trunk of the car before it had died.
I traded a few bills with the woman for a key to room 216, trying to keep all of my obvious injuries hidden – and at her odd look on one person getting two beds I clarified that I was waiting up for someone. She gave me an understanding look and I figured she probably thought I was spending the weekend with my boyfriend, or something. I decided to never mention that to the Soldier, not that I needed to; he had hardly spoken to me at all since I left with him, and I hoped it would stay that way for a long time.
"Y'all have a good night." I nodded my thanks, then snuck to the back door when she turned her attention to a basketball game playing on the old TV hung on the wall, and let the Soldier in.
"216," I said, then we went up the stairs rather than taking the elevator. It appeared that neither of us liked small spaces, and I'm not sure what his reasoning was – what treatment HYDRA had given him – but My Room, the room I was isolated in, was small, and so were elevators.
We made it to the room without incident, except that it took three swipes for the lock to finally accept the key, and the overhead light only had one working bulb of three, but that was fine. I put the key down on the bed closest to the door, claiming it as mine, but the Soldier gave me a look and I quickly moved the key over to the bed closer to the window, perching delicately as I watched the Soldier take the sweater off, revealing the leather suit underneath as well as his dangerous metal arm with a blood red star painted on.
"What?" he snapped, seeming annoyed with my stare, and I moved my head quickly, catching sight of the adjoining bathroom door.
"I'm going to take a shower." Then I stood up and quickly made my way over. The door shut but the lock didn't work. My heart fluttered slightly, but then I reasoned that he was trained better at HYDRA, so I went ahead and started up the water, letting it get warm while I undressed.
As always, I avoided looking in the mirror, but looked down at my injuries to assess their progress. They had all stopped bleeding by now, so I figured they would be fine getting wet if I was careful not to remove any scabs.
Laying a towel on the ground for when I stepped out, I got under the water and adjusted it until it wasn't too hot. True, the temperature I showered under probably seemed a bit cold to most, but I'd hardly ever had the luxury of warm water. Back when I had a family we usually couldn't afford warm water, when I was with HYDRA I hardly ever got actual showers. More often than not a bucket of cold water was shoved in with a rag to wash myself with, and the only times I was actually put under a spray with soap was when they wanted to show me off to other scientists, and on the streets I could usually get away with using someone's hose to wash myself in the late hours of the night, so the lukewarm water felt warm enough for me.
I closed my eyes and simply enjoyed the water cascading over my skin and soaking my hair, then finally reached over to the small – tiny – bottles of soap, massaging my scalp gently to get all of the blood out without disturbing the new scab, and after that cleaned all of the blood, dirt, and ash off of my body, toweling off after.
Feeling clean and refreshed, I put my clothes back on and decided that the first thing tomorrow would be buying disguises, because the two of us were screaming to everyone that we were dangerous, and when laying low standing out like that is never a good thing. I towel dried my hair quickly and stepped out while trying to comb it with my fingers.
The Soldier went to step in after me so I stepped to the side as he passed.
"Tomorrow we need to get disguises." He didn't say anything and shut the door behind him. I blinked at the door and then shrugged slightly, turning back and heading toward my bed; I'll take that for a yes. I reached the bed, moving the top covers, then putting them back as I spotted the off-colored sheets, instead settling down on top of them. Spotting the remote on the small bedside table between the beds I flipped the small TV on.
Back when I first got away from HYDRA, TV was my best source of getting back in touch with the world – of figuring out customs, do's and don't do's, what was expected of people now – and that usefulness hadn't left. The shows were ultimately useless, though. They were purely for entertainment; people don't do things like that in real life. I flipped through commercials and talk shows, taking in anything I thought could come in handy.
I frowned, confused and rather concerned, as I watched a razor commercial, watching as a woman shaved the hair off of her legs and underarms. I then raised my eyebrows. Seriously? Why? What was the use of that?
A memory surfaced of when I was young – 8 or 9 – and Prissy Lizzy was bragging at school for a while on how she had begun shaving her legs, explaining that since her daddy was so respectable she had to look like a respectable lady, too. I almost rolled my eyes even now, but realized that I was being childish.
The Soldier came back into the room, hair still dripping wet, and shot me a look.
"Girls are supposed to shave now." It was my explanation on why I was looking at the TV like that, but then I remembered that I was talking to a master assassin who didn't care what I had to say, and probably didn't remember anything of his life pre-Winter Soldier, so I shut my mouth. There's also the fact that he didn't exactly know when I was born, so anything I said like that would sound like nonsense coming from me.
He stalked over to the light and flicked it off just as I turned the TV off, leaving us in pitch darkness since the drapes were closed, but I could still easily see shapes and vague details. I figured the Soldier could see even better than I could, so I laid down on my side, facing the window, and listened as the Soldier sat down on his own bed. The serum I was injected with had greatly enhanced my senses, so that they were generally stronger than others with the serum, but not my sight.
Back when I was with HYDRA they had tried to enhance my senses even more – starting with my sight – than the serum already had, but it had backfired. Instead of getting better it had gotten worse so that it was only hardly better than a normal human's. There was no doubt in my mind that the Soldier could see me better right now then I could see him.
No doubt he wouldn't lay down until he was certain I was asleep, cautious that this was a trick and I was simply doing this so I could slash his throat while his guard was down, and with that thought I forced myself to sleep faster, but sleep is not easy when you've got your back facing a master assassin, and it was a while before I slipped into a fitful sleep.
