So I was bored and kinda sad and I ran across a list of Cliched AUs on Tumblr and I figured I'd write them to cheer myself up. It worked pretty well but I have no idea if these are good. Oh well...

Enjoy! ;)


SPIN THE FUCKIN' BOTTLE


"Do we have to?" Arthur asked scathingly.

"Yup, pucker up, I've got the timer ready," Alfred cooed, waving his phone at them.

Arthur reluctantly crawled across the circle and sat in front of Alistair, looking up at him with a scathing and expectant expression, "Well, get the fuck on with it!"

Alistair growled a little in irritation before dipping his head down and pressing their lips together gingerly, making Arthur roll his eyes and push back harder. If he was going to spend thirty seconds kissing this jackass then he was going to bloody well make it worth it, because fuck knows if he'd ever get to do it again.

Oh shit did it become worth it.


trUTH OR DARE YOU SHITWEASELS!


"Thank you for saving my arse back there."

Alistair found himself blushing beside himself. Fuck, why was he so gay? It was great to know his sexuality, sure, it means no lingering doubts about why he didn't find the girls at school pretty. The problem was, however, that there were very few gay fourteen year olds who were out of the closet. And Arthur wasn't one of those people. He didn't even think Arthur had ever been in the closet to begin with and-

His thoughts stopped entirely when he felt fingers twist into his, "I was wondering if there was a way I could make it up to you? A date, perhaps, might do?"

Alistair had never been so thankful to have his crush fall out of a tree on a dare.


Twister OH YeAH!


"Francis, if you don't get your hands off of him I'll have to ruin the game for everyone."

"Jealous Artie?" Alistair chuckled, wiggling the butt that Francis was currently extremely up close and personal with, "But you get to touch it all the time, you should let someone else have a go."

Arthur sniffed, an unamused eyebrow raised in the general direction of the Twister mat, "Unfortunately for you, I'm petty. Mitts off Francis unless you want the next move to be rigged."

"Now Arthur, I don't think-" Francis began, but was cut off as Arthur held up a hand to silence him.

Arthur smirked, spinning the board and tilting it unsubtly so that it landed on, "Left hand, red."

"Arthur!"


locked in a closet. fuelling my flame.


Gabriel pressed his ear to the door after hearing a loud bang against it only a few moments earlier. Arthur would either hate him or love him for this, Natalia would get off scot free if it were the former, naturally, Arthur called it chivalrous, Gabriel called it bullshit. Regardless, he still remained stationed at the door until such time as he heard a muffled moan of, "Shit, Arthur..."

He retracted from the door, completely happy with not hearing his friend have sex, and looked over to Natalia who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow as she carved away at a pear with a pocket knife. "Are they fucking yet?" she asked, somehow still managing to amaze Gabriel with her bluntness after all these years.

He nodded, "Like rabbits in spring."

She nodded back, "Good."


I'M UNCREATIVE. LAB pARTNERS.


"I swear to fucking god Alistair, if you fuck up this titration one more time I'm going to pour the acid down your throat."

"That doesn't sound like very sound lab practice to me."

Just as Arthur's hand twitched toward the tempting beaker of acid, their chemistry teacher rather abruptly found herself behind the two of them, leering over their shoulders in the slightly eerie way she tended to do, "Is everything alright here, boys?"

Arthur turned to her with a forced smile, "Absolutely fine." She walked away with a sceptical raised eyebrow, and it wasn't until she'd reached the other side of the room that he turned back to Alistair and hissed in his ear, "If we fail this assignment I'm not sleeping with you for a year."

Alistair snorted, "Yeah right."


TuuTooRiiNG.


"How on earth did you get that from one vague line of this stupid book?"

Arthur sighed, leaning back against the uncomfortable library chair and closing his eyes, "It's all about reading between the lines, you can't just look at-"

"Yeah whatever," Alistair interrupted, standing and stretching lazily, "I don't care actually, fuck studying, let's get something to eat instead."

"But-" Arthur found himself rather suddenly cut off by Alistair shoving both of their copies of the book into his arms.

"We can call it a date if it would help convince you."

Oh fuck that charming Scottish bastard, "Fine."


They're both nerds but I guess one can be a jock for story purposes or something IDK man I'm in a weird mood tonight and this is my way of dealing with it.


It was almost thirty minutes since the game ended and the team had retreated to the change rooms, and Arthur was beginning to thing Alistair wasn't going to come at all. It wasn't exactly the most comfortable place, underneath the bleachers, and quite frankly, his anxiety over whether the other teen would show up at all had forced him to put his book down after realizing that he'd read the same page almost four times.

He jumped when warm arms wrapped around him from behind, a face nuzzling happily into his neck, "Hey Artie, sorry I took so long, coach was lecturing us."

Arthur found himself unable to be mad as calm washed over him, "It's okay, you're here now."


Dear god, how many of these have I written now? IDK BUT RIVAL SPORTS TEAMS NOW YEAH!


"Come on, Alistair, I know you're not that shy!"

"I'm just being considerate, I know how much your arse must ache!"

"You wish you were that good!"

The coaches found themselves sighing at the pair, their teams woefully distracted from the game in favour of the what could only be described as a couple's spat going on in midfield, "Do you think we should make a rule against inter-team dating?" asked one of them.

"If I wasn't you wouldn't be begging for-"

"Yes. Yes we should," replied the other.


Time FOR THEM TO BE BlinDED by LOVE. On a blind date.


Now, Arthur tended to be sceptical when it came to blind dates, especially when those dates were set up by Francis. And this was entirely because Francis was a tosser who thought he knew more about what Arthur wanted than Arthur himself did, and obviously that was complete hogwash because how could he possibly-

"Excuse me, are you Arthur?"

Arthur took half a second to look the man over, tall and stocky with a friendly face with just the right amount of stubble, bright red hair and green eyes and... Shit. Francis might have been onto something.

He nodded, holding out his hand, "Yes, you must be Alistair."

And then the guy smiled, and Arthur could no longer deny that Francis probably knew what he was doing.

Probably.


Like three more and then we'll be done with this madness, I promise. On another note, the boys are stuck in detention.


"Why're you here?" Asked the piercing-filled boy at the back of the classroom.

"I got detention," Alistair replied dryly, dumping his stuff in a seat slap-bang in the middle of the classroom.

"Thanks, smartarse, now answer the question."

Alistair scowled at the boy, who he idly noticed was rather attractive, "You mean you don't already know?"

The boy sighed, kicking his feet up onto the desk, "Forgive me for not keeping up with the latest gossip."

"I-"

"Silence boys, you're in detention, not at a party. Kirkland, feet off the desk, MacDonald, I trust you know how this will work."

"I wouldn't worry, sir, I doubt the inflatable penis would fit in here."

"So you did know!"

The boy smirked, "Forgive me for wanting to hear it from the horse's mouth."


This one is like ScotEng's aesthetic, 'Arguing but secretly being turned on by it'.


Shit, Arthur looked good when his cheeks were flushed with anger, his eyes took on a shine of furious passion that he didn't often get to see. But oh god, he'd hear as many insults as he had to just to see Arthur like this. Hard and passionate and flushed and he rather quickly realized he wasn't thinking about arguing anymore so much as... well...

"Alistair? What the fuck has gotten into you?"

He shook himself from this thoughts, snarling at Arthur nastily, "I was just thinking about how stupid you looked all puffed up red."

Arthur growled, "Well you're hardly one to talk, you're like a fucking stop-sign!"

A stop sign that Arthur would quite happily fuck senseless if given the opportunity. Shit. That is not where he wanted that train of thought to go.


AND FINaLLY! PRETENDING TO BE DATING!


"Your family's sweet," Alistair said idly as they walked away from the reunion, still hand in hand even though they didn't really have to be.

Arthur snorted derisively, "Sweet isn't exactly the word I'd use, but I'm glad you had a good time. I'm just glad we'll never have to go through that fiasco again."

Well, that comment hit Alistair like a ton of bricks, that should not have had that effect. "I wouldn't mind meeting them again."

Arthur looked up at him quizzically, "What do you mean?"

Alistair rather quickly decided that ignoring him and continuing his train of throught would get him further, "But, y'know, for real next time."

Alistair missed Arthur's smile, but he didn't miss the chuckled, "Okay then, it's a date."

And he'd be lying if he said his heart didn't skip a beat.