Harry Potter and the Misguided Help

By: Alex T. Wallman

Prologue: In which Power Level does not equate to Ability to Help

Author's Note: I was reading Emma Iveli's "Harry Potter and the Seven Reincarnated Spirits" when I came to a realization. Whenever we do crossovers, the people involved are generally helpful, and so I decided to see what would happen if I inserted a bunch of (generally) unhelpful people to help Harry, I can only hope the shitstorm is magnificent. I think I'll start with about seven people, but I might throw more in as time goes on. I don't think I'll disclose their identities until the next chapter but some are easy so feel free to speculate.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

As Always; read, enjoy, and review~!

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In the land of the gods, a meeting was in progress.

"So, how's our favourite chew toy doing?" The voice was melodic and sound almost like the tinkling of bells despite the inherent cruelty in the goddess's words. The other's looked towards her as her form rapidly shifted to male, their faces set in masks of bemusement while the leader simply muttered, "Another splitting of his baseline reality formed, but with an imbalance of souls."

Another of the gathered divinities turned their many-eyed face to look at the leader, and asked through the mouths in their pupils, "aND wHaT WOUld BE thE cAUSe of THiS iMBaLANcE?"

"It's actually quite humorous," another one murmured in perfect monotone, their voice utterly robotic despite the smile on their face as they explained, "The souls that disappeared were so bland, so unimportant, that they faded over time."

"And it is in light of this that We have come to a decision. We think it would be best if we were to send a number of souls to take their places, or rather copies of souls. We, that is to say this We, have decided that it would best to make copies of the souls of powerful warriors and place them around Harry Potter as both guardians and more." The lead deity spoke once more, nodding their head in calm resolve. The others all considered it as they drew their own conclusions, before coming to a decision. They all nodded in sink and one of them spoke up, asking the question on all of their minds.

"Are you taking suggestions?"

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Her eyes snapped open as she watched her body drift further away, unable to decide if it was a blessing or a curse as she felt the link between her soul and the monkey she had been bound to. She could only watch in bemused silence as the world went dark around her, before her conscious was torn from her.

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She watched as the priestess struck the final blow, the demon possessing the queen finally destroyed and done with. She couldn't help but be confused as she watched her body keep moving in spite of the fact that she was drifting away from it. She watched as the demon screamed out all forms of hell and types of retribution as both she and it faded away.

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She watched as the one child she never thought would amount to anything cut her down, surprise filling her as she watched the scene pull away from. The way the very goal she had worked so hard for fell apart before her eyes should have horrified her, but instead there was only pride. In those final moments, before she was swept away, the gods gave her a gift, a terrible and wonderful gift. And as she was torn from her reality, she gave one final sentence that only two seemed to hear, "No matter how I lived, if I am to die, then with my sanity restored to how it once was, I give these parting words; I am so proud of you, my children, and I am so, so sorry for not being there."

And with that, she was gone.

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The scene before her could only be called a canvas of oddities; even she was present within it as they all sang and danced in celebration. She watched as they all partied and drank, despite the fact that the fortress was damaged. She blinked as she was pulled away, struggling against the increasing force that sought to drag her from her friends. It then got to the point where it couldn't be fought against, her vision fading against her wishes.

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It was shocking as she watched her body move without her, as her adopted child and his friends, his comrades, her comrades, squared off against the greatest opponent and rival of her former student. She tried to call out to them, to figure out a way to tell them what was happening and as a last ditch attempt she flared her power. The visible reaction was slight, but both her body and that man shot a look at her through the corners of their eyes, a slight widening the only show of their confusion. Satisfied that at least they knew something was afoot, she succumbed to the pull.

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She watched as her body seemed to melt away, as it spilled onto and into her counterpart, not quite understanding what was happening. On an intellectual level she understood the concepts of ghosts, souls, and spirits, but it didn't explain what was happening to her. She had trouble grasping the idea behind them, she just couldn't fully understand them despite the processing power she had in her head. And it was thanks to those factors that she didn't notice the fact that she was slipping away.

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She could only gasp at the phantom pain in her stomach, watching as her body was betrayed, as the man she had trusted gutted her like a fish. She could only curse that man, for betraying her, for betraying all of them, and for making her a sacrifice once more. She could only watch as her body was tossed almost whimsically away by the man to land like a puppet with cut strings, as her body impacted against a pile of concrete with a slapping sound. And that was the last thing she did in her home universe, she cursed that man with all her might.

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"It is done."

That sentence jolted all of them to wakefulness, shaking their heads as they took in their surroundings and each other. They couldn't help but look around for the source of the voice, and caught sight of a veiled being as it approached them. It spoke again, its voice sibilant and hypnotic as it continued, "We and the others have brought you here for a reason, a job as it were. For this job, the others and We would have you live through the lives of others for the sake of ensuring the defeat of a dark lord. Rest assured, your recompense has been… seen to as it were. In exchange for indulging us, we shall grant you a boon from us, this shall be a wish that you hold dear. You need not speak it for it is already known to us, for we are boundless and beyond your mortal comprehension."

"In other words, welcome to the rice fields motherfuckers." This time, a monotone voice shot through the air and, despite the placid tone, they couldn't help but feel they were being mocked. The being that appeared could only be called a perfect image of a sardonic person, with its mouth twisted into a mocking grin and its eyes dancing with the satisfaction of knowing something they didn't. It chuckled, a strange sound due to its monotone voice, and then picked up the explanation, "You assholes were chosen because you are harder, better, faster, and donger than any of the other candidates."

"I believe the phrase is 'harder, better, faster, stronger'," pointed out the one of the women, her silver hair glimmering in the not-light and against the not-dark, her voice cutting and questioning. The being tacked its almost empty stare onto her and asked, in rage-less anger, "Did I fucking stutter?"

The strange stare was enough to stop the woman short, and unnerve the others. This made the being smile as it started up again, "So, you are, essentially, acting in the place of those who you are replacing. In other words, you are taking the place of a bunch of kids to ensure that the universe doesn't collapse in on itself while helping the Chosen One succeed in his duty. We won't have you act as slaves or simply be on autopilot behind their eyes, we wouldn't have fun watching that, we instead invite you to live as you will and simply ensure Harry Potter's success. We might send more as time ticks on, but it's really based on whether or not we need to send more people. We have made sure to make certain adjustments to keep you all combat capable despite your new bodies.

"Your bodies will be able to work as you are used to, but to scale. Your physical stats will increase as you age until you hit sixteen or seventeen when your full potential will be realized in your sixteen-year-old bodies. Your more esoteric skills will be yours to keep, but exercise caution when using them due to the nature of the world you're being sent to. In some cases you will be able to will be able to summon your weapons from the Immaterium and in others you have been granted an ability or a set of abilities that match your skills in your previous life."

"So we're playing bodyguard for a brat, then?"

"Essentially." The being was so smug but so monotone, they couldn't help but want to strangle it. The veiled being, which had been silent up until then, turned to the monotone one and said, "We have said it once and We will say it again; you sir/madam, are a dick."

The veiled one looked at the gathered women and then gave one final speech to them, "With this, We bid you farewell for now. The future is in your hands, We would wish you the best of luck, but we will see if you truly need it."

And with that, the women were subjected to darkness once more.

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It was with some trepidation that Sebastian and Isabella Greengrass welcomed their child into the world. The child had been conceived due to a faulty contraception potion and was likely to be affected at least somewhat by the ingredients in the brew. The assistant healer brought their child, their baby girl, over to them and they knew she was beautiful. She had dark skin due to the effects of the potion and the fuzz on her head that would one day be hair was a silver colour, but they could tell she was beautiful. It was with smiles on their faces that they christened her, "Daphne, Daphne Kosmika Greengrass."

Daphne would later expound on her hatred of her last name.

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The Brocklehursts did not know what to think when their daughter was born with a small shock of snow-white hair. The doctors confirmed that she wasn't sick or unhealthy in any way, and that it was simply a more visible mutation than most. Although this assured them, they couldn't help but feel they were being silently judged when one of their daughter's purple eyes peeked open and locked onto them.

The parents of Amanda 'Mandy' Minerva Brocklehurst were frozen with an unnamed dread at that moment.

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Sally-Ann Perks was born in a normal hospital on an average day, the child herself, would never be referred to as average. Even as a baby, her small amount of hair was a faded almost gray colour and her eyes seemed to constantly be shut despite her perfect perception of the world around her.

And even as a baby, her smile seemed to be omnipresent.

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Davises were a well to do Pureblood family and were rather confused as they smiled down at their newborn daughter. Her skin was slightly tanned in comparison to the average citizen of the United Kingdoms and the small amount of hair on her crown appeared to be a shade of faded green. The fact was that it was most likely due to one of the potions that Caroline had taken during her pregnancy, but for some reason it seemed odd to them. They dismissed the thought as they named her, "Tracy Eileen Davis."

Tracy would sometimes chuckle whenever someone mentioned her middle name, not many would ever find out why.

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Shirley Anastasia Katherine Fawcett was born in a mundane hospital with machines beeping and all the doodads humming and her parents couldn't be happier with their little girl being born perfectly healthy. The one oddity that any of them noticed was the fact that the air seemed colder around her. Not that she was cold, but that the air itself was simply colder than the rest of the air in the room. None of them would admit it publicly, but they knew that they had seen the child's face twist into the closest approximation of a sneer it could manage.

Many would later refer to Shirley as 'cold'.

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The Abbots were exhausted when their daughter, after a long and difficult labour, was finally born. They were very surprised when they got a good look at their daughter, as neither of them had the slightest tan to their skin or blond hair but the tests would prove that she was their daughter. In spite of the fact that she seemed to resemble neither of them, they loved her nonetheless.

Hannah Tia Abbot would always love her parents for that.

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No one would ever be sure when exactly Mafalda 'Mary' Prewitt was born, but she would always be remembered at the orphanage she was dropped of at in the night. She was an odd girl with yellow eyes and hair as red as the as blood coloured birthmarks that slashed up both sides of her face. She was loud and always making noise, always quarrelling with the other children. The little orphanage didn't realise what they would release upon Surrey, and even more so, Little Whinging.

She never cared that many thought her a fool.

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And so the die is cast,

The pieces are on the board,

The hands have been dealt to the players,

Let the Game begin.