"Javier, please don't let her do this."
— Kevin Ryan —
S04E23
Kevin has seen Javier do some pretty stupid things—most of which were life-threatening. But he'd always figured that, well, what the hell, they're the police. They work with Beckett, for goodness sake. When aren't they risking their lives?
Dodging bullets and teasing his neighbour's less than friendly dog...it's all part of the job description, really. And if he's honest with himself, Kevin has to admit that's all a bit of fun.
...okay, trying not to get killed isn't that fun, but he gets paid for that.
But Kevin knows why his mother calls every week. Kevin knows why his sister emails him every two days when he's got a case and freaks out if he hasn't replied within 24 hours. He knows that he's living a life of danger—that, for him, life's not all fun and games.
He's always thought that Javier knew that too.
Because despite all of the stupid things he's seen Javier do, none of them ever involved deliberately risking his life. None of those stupid things had ever turned Kevin's head and made him think: Javier, that bastard. Does he have a death wish or something?
No...the death wish is definitely a new development. And with that, comes more new developments, because for the first time in a long time, Kevin hasn't got a clue what's going on in Javier's mind. For the first time in a long time, Kevin just doesn't understand.
Going after the man that wants Beckett dead is stupid. Especially if you take into account that that very same man almost succeeded in killing her. Going after the man that wants Beckett dead and not bother to tell Sir is extremely stupid. And even trying to protect Beckett from someone like him without Beckett is just asking to be killed.
And yet, Javier's standing right in front of him, eyes flaring, and ready to leave at any moment.
...why not just sit down, for goodness sake, and actually think about it before charging into a war zone?
Kevin just didn't understand.
Besides, when did Javier start ignoring him when he voiced his concern? His gut instinct?
And because all he's ever wanted to do was be a good partner, Kevin tries to will instinct away. At first, he yells a little too quietly and tries to get Javier to see reason. Then he tries to see reason himself and even though he won't admit it, he can't even begin to understand why Javier's saying this is a good idea. He tries to understand the twisted, blinded loyalty that Javier has for Beckett.
Mostly, he tries to trust his partner to make the right choice—to turn back before it's too late.
But he's already slipped a tracker in Javier's pocket and when Javier leaves without turning back, Kevin finds himself outside Sir's officer, poised and ready to knock.
He tries—he really tries—to consider this from every angle. He considers their friendship...what Javier would want him to do...how much Javier is going to hate him if he goes through with this.
Then Kevin realises that this isn't just a little fun. It's stupid, reckless and idiotic. They could die. Beckett could be killed. Javier could be killed.
Crap.
...if it's down to theirfriendship or Javier's life, he doesn't really have a choice, does he?
It takes another few seconds, but eventually, Kevin forgets about knocking. Instead, he throws the door open and charges in, ignoring Sir as she stands and starts to reprimand him.
"Beckett and Esposito. They're gone."
