Dear Payson,
I know that I shouldn't leave the way I am. I should be the right kind of man, and tell you that I am leaving, to your face. But, I know that it would stop my leaving. I cannot stand the thought of hearing you beg for me to stay.
I love you and I know that I shouldn't it is wrong of me to love you. I respect you and your parents, that I will hold of in showing you that I love you.
When I first met you, I saw a great chance of an Olympic hero, then you when you got hurt, and stopped believing in yourself, I vowed to make you see how beautifully talented you are. I had to make you believe that you would do as much as you wanted to achieve. So I stayed at the Rock, and I became the coach of four major Olympians to be.
Four wonderfully strong girls, which is the reason I came to coach at the Rock. I saw an easy success. The four of you may be an easy success story, but the trials and tribulations on getting to the end mark, would be hard. The four of you would suffer a number of different challenges, but together you all would become stronger.
Emily, a stubborn yet careless girl, struggled with showing people that she belonged here. Emily didn't belong at the local Y performed on a smaller base. She deserves to go to the Olympics and bring home a metal. She deserves to be respected as one of the greatest gymnast in the States. She needs the Rock.
Lauren Tanner, a force not to be reckoned with, Queen of the Beam. She isn't the spoiled perfect little girl everyone seems to see. She has dealt with a lot in her life and she has been let down so many times that she has built this image. The image of a girl that is spoiled and cares nothing for the others, she isn't that girl. I noticed it the first day I met you four. When her mother died, no one thought that Lauren Tanner would ever really care about the woman that left her. Lauren has a big heart and no one would ever know it unless you get close to her. But she is a very closed off person and doesn't show her feelings. When she sent the video of us to Ellen Beals, she didn't want to destroy you or even me; she wanted her dad to notice her. She wasn't trying to make an excuse for her actions. She didn't think that Ellen would create as much damage as she has.
Kaylie Cruz, national champion that doesn't see herself as a champion at all. She has pushed past every difficult barrier in her world. She watched her family break apart and had no idea how to stop it from happening. She has suffered from eating disorders and no one believing in her. Payson, you may have given her the national champions' title but she earned the respect from me as a coach and as an athlete. A metal to her would be the cherry on top of all her struggles.
You, Payson, are my inspiration. You have made me the man I am today. I wasn't a respectful or loving person before you. Payson, you are the reason people can see a difference in me. You brought out the qualities that I locked away after my mother died. She was the greatest person I have ever known before I met you. When I met you, I saw you as this sweet and innocent little girl, which had enough will power to make it the Olympics. Payson I wish that I could love you like you deserve to be loved. You deserve to be taken out and shown off to the world. And I cannot give you that. The world could never understand how a grown man could fall in love with a "child". You my dear are no child at all. You had your childhood ripped away from you. Darling, you dealt with an injury that could have cost you all of your dreams. You gave up your childhood when you decided to start your quest to London in 2012. You gave up the world of a child, a teenager and you gave up a normal life to pursue your dream. When you came out to the press about your goal of sweeping the floor at the Olympics and bring home all six gold metals' I could not have been any prouder of you. You are the strongest person I know. You remind me of my wonderful mother so much, my mother never let anyone tell her that she couldn't do anything or be anyone that she wanted to be. And because of that, it is the thing I love the most about you. So when I decided to leave and make sure that I was no longer in the way of possibly holding you back from your dream, I thought of somehow to be there with you. I would send you letters, you will receive one every month until the Olympics in 2012
With All My Love,
Sasha Belov
