Okay, this is now officially the InspirationWeekend. Two stories in two days after a month of nothing!
This takes place after 9x13 'A Desperate Man' and deals with Tony and Ziva's feelings. Not sure if I'll leave it as a one one-shot, so please leave me a review with your thoughts...I got some ideas how to continue this if you'd like me to.
Disclaimer: Well, you might have guessed it already: I don't own NCIS or its characters. Happy now?
Ziva wasn't exactly sure how she'd ended up at his apartment building, but somehow she had and now there was no backing out. Because now she needed to know everything, wanted to understand why he'd acted the way he had. She turned the engine off and sat in her car's darkness for a minute, considering her options.
Option one: Just going up there and asking him for his reasons
Option two: Calling him first and making sure she wasn't interrupting any plans he might have
Option three: Backing out after all and driving home, although she knew that this wasn't really an option.
She settled on the first one, because her phone battery had died, or that's what she told herself. Reality was that she was just scared that he might turn her down if she asked him first before coming up. Wih a sigh she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. The winter air in D.C. was cold and she hugged herself to stay warm before crossing the road to his building. Pressing the buzzer, she prayed that he was alone.
...
Tony was just going to take the last bite of his Pizza when he heard his buzzer. He got up, very slowly, and walked over to his door. Whoever was going to interrupt his drowning in misery and self-pity had to be patient. He just pressed the door opener, not caring whom he let in. After unlocking his door he went back to the couch, turning the volume of his new flat screen TV on mute. He didn't hear her enter but suddenly she stood next to him, looking down at him with an unreadable expression on her face.
"Hey", she said. It was merely a whisper.
"Hi" His answer was just as quiet. "What are you doing here?"
Her eyes darted around the room, not looking at him, and she seemed to struggle with herself about what to say to him. "Am I not allowed to visit a...friend?" he noticed the slight hesitation before the word 'friend', but blamed it on his all too enthusiastic heart. She had made it clar that they were only friends, nothing more, nothing less and even though he wanted nothing more than to change that, their friendship was far too important to him than to act on those feelings. The last time he'd done that she'd ended up in a terror cell in Africa.
"The real reason, Ziva." he insisted but when she finally looked at him again, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to hear what she had to say. She closed her eyes for the briefest of seconds before finally answering.
"Why did you help him?", she asked, looking him directly in the eye. He just stared at her in surprise. That wasn't what he had expected...
"Who?" he asked, though fully aware of whom it was that she meant. CI-Ray. He should've known that, of course. That subject wasn't closed yet.
"I know, you know whom I mean, Tony." Ziva hissed in annoyance. "Ray. Why did you help him with his...plans?" There it was again, the slight hesitation. if he hadn't known her so well he wouldn't have noticed. But if there was one person in the world that he could read then it was Ziva David.
"Because, Zee-vah, I'm a nice guy." he answered and flashed her a bright smile, trying to ease the tension. It didn't work. Instead Ziva sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger in an attempt not to get angry with him. After a minute she seemed to have calmed herself a bit and finally took off the coat she was still wearing , tossing it on a chair. Then she sat down next to him on the couch. He gave her some space , but still stayed close. Ziva looked him directly in the eyes and her gaze made his stomach flutter as if he was a teenager all over again. Damn that woman!
"The real reason, Tony...", she finally repeated his earlier words to her. He was silent, not knowing if he should lie or tell the truth. "Please, I want to know why you acted the way you did.", Ziva pressed.
Tony let out a laugh. It wasn't a happy one. "No, I don't think you want to know, Ziva, really-"
"I would not have come, if I did not want to know.", she interrupted him.
"Well, maybe you shouldn't have come then." Tony said dryly, looking past her, out the window. Ziva got up, again angry and glared down at him.
"Maybe you are right.", she said and walked to the door, pausing with a hand on the doorknob. When he didn't say anything to hold her back she stormed out, throwing the door shut behind her and leaving Tony alone in his apartment.
...
The minutes ticked by and Tony didn't move an inch. He'd made her angry. Awesome. Why did every important conversation between them end up in a hideous fight over nothing? Although, this time it hadn't been nothing. It had been everything.
Why hadn't he just told her the truth? Because he was a scared bastard, afraid of showing emotions and incapable of being honest with his partner about his feelings towards her. With a sigh he got his phone from the coffee table and dialled her number. It was the only one he knew by heart and didn't need on speed-dial. When it went straight to voicemail, he threw his phone on the couch next to him. It bounced off and hit first the coffee table and then the floor. Tony flinched when he saw the huge crack in the display. Stupid modern technology crap.
With the option of calling her gone, he scanned the room for an excuse to drive to her place and apologize without sounding too desperate. His gaze fell on her coat which was still on the chair next to the couch and he grabbed it, glad that he'd found something, although he knew that he'd have gone anyway eventually, and left.
...
Ziva refused to go back up in his apartment when she noticed that she'd left her coat in there and just turned the car's heater on high. Once she felt warmer again she drove back home, occupying her mind with translating random stuff into Hebrew. With her style of driving she reached her apartment in less than ten minutes, breaking almost every traffic rule there was on the way.
When she was sitting in the living room she tried to read a book, but she couldn't focus on the words and put it away again. Sleeping wasn't an option either, because she was far too awake after her fight with Tony. What was it with this man that fascinated he so much? He was he was annoying, loud, frustrating and juvenile to no end.
And handsome and caring and he has your back, a small voice in her head added. She let her head drop in her hands and let out a frustrated moan.
When she heard a knock at the door she refused to open up. He'd had the chance to talk, it was his fault that he hadn't used it. But then she heard the lock snap open and remembered the spare key she'd given him. She needed to change the lock now. Without a word he entered and closed the door behind him before he walked slowly towards her.
"You forgot your coat.", he stated softly and held the piece of clothing out to her. She nodded once and took it from his hand without looking at him. "And you didn't answer your phone."
She felt his gaze on her but, stubborn as she was, kept her eyes on the floor."Battery died.", she explained, expecting him to leave now. But when he showed no signs of doing so she had no choice but to look up at him. His eyes, that seemed to change colour depending on what he wore, were soft. Every hard edge they'd held earlier gone. It was more than she could take. "Please leave", she whispered.
"Zi, don't do this, you don't understand..." he begged, but she didn't leave any room for arguments. Instead she got up and shoved him towards the door. He didn't put up a fight.
"That is right. I do not understand. Not at all.", she said, her voice laced with anger again, and shut the door, barely missing his nose.
...
He leant his forehead against the closed door and stared down at his designer shoes. He'd really hurt her this time. And there was only one way to fix this again. The truth. He hadn't heard her moving away on the other side, so he guessed that she was still standing in her hallway, waiting for him to go away. If he was lucky she would listen.
"I wanted you to be happy.", he stated after taking a deep breath. "I knew you wanted something permanent and even though my gut was telling me that he was a bastard, he was the one who could give it to you." There came no response from the inside, but Tony continued anyway. "I didn't want to make the same mistake as with Rivkin, Ziva. You're too important to me for that. And I'm sorry that it didn't work out."
Suddenly the door opened and sent him stumbling into the apartment. He ended up losing his balance and landing on the floor. Ziva looked down at him. "And that is the only reason you helped him with his proposal?", she asked. Her voice was soft again, the anger gone. He was glad that he'd been honest at last.
"Yes." he said and got up again, trying not to groan too loud when he felt the pain in his back. When she raised an eyebrow at him he knew that he couldn't fool her. So he changed his answer. "No."
"What are you not telling me, Tony?" she asked, sounding really curious this time. Why couldn't she see? Gibbs saw it, Abby and McGee had a bet going on, heck, even Vance suspected something! Just the one person that needed to know was oblivious to his feelings. Or pretended to be, at least.
"Zi...", he whispered, taking a step closer to her and reaching out to touch her cheek. She turned away.
"No, Tony. I want you to be honest with me. Just this once."
"I...I can't Ziva!" His sudden outburst startled her and she took a step back. "I just can't!"
"I am tired of this!" she yelled back at him "Get over yourself and tell me why you helped Ray. I know it was because you wanted me to be happy, but why is it so important to you? What is it that makes you care so much? I do not get it, Tony, I-"
He silenced her by crashing his lips down on hers for the first time in almost seven years. Before she even knew what was happening her body responded and she eagerly started kissing him back. He pulled away too soon for both their likings.
"Tony...", she said.
"I hope that clears up some things..." Tony stated and turned, leaving her apartment in a hurry.
Leave it at that or continue? :)
-Mistakes are mine...
