Title: Ugly Betty: The Musical!

Author: QueenWillie

Pairing: Daniel/Wilhelmina

Rating: PG, maybe R for language

Disclaimer: I do not own The UB cast or concept, mores the pity. And I own none of the songs used in this fiction. Authors Note after Chapter.

'Good Afternoon, Daniel Meade's office.' Amanda trotted out the same monotonous greeting she did whenever she answered her new desk phone. She had thought becoming Daniel's assistant would be more exciting than being Mode's receptionist. It wasn't. At least sitting at her beloved oval which she had called home for four years, she had been able to see everyone and everything going on in this office. Since she had been sat here the most excitement had been watching Claire Meade barge into his office, closely followed by Wilhelmina, the two of them screeching at him about being forced to share an office while there was remodelling being done.

Claire had stormed out in a fury, knocking a vase from Amanda's desk as she did so. Wilhelmina had been hot on her heels, Amanda avoided her eyes to avoid turning to stone.

'Willie...slow down!' Daniel called after her as he followed her.

Wilhelmina stopped in her tracks and rounded on him. 'What Daniel, you have some other piece of delightful news...is Betty going to be joining your Mother and I in MY office?'

'Wilhelmina, calm down. It's for a week, two tops.'

'TWO!' She yelled.

'Tops.' He said softly, trying to appease her.

She clenched her jaw and inhaled deeply through her nose, Amanda thought when she exhaled she actually saw a bit a fire. 'And why do you get to keep your office all to yourself? Why aren't you sharing with your prune of a mother?'

'Betty and Marc are moving in to my office for a while, so I'm gonna have company too. Trust me you and my mother will just ignore each other and do your jobs. If I had to work with my Mother in such close quarters nothing would get done. I mean I love the woman but working together...no thank you.'

'Well if people have to share an office does it not make sense for it to be the Editors in chief?'

Daniel shuffled on his feet and cleared his throat. 'Well I don't think that's the best solution...given recent events.'

Her eyes went wide, 'Shut up Daniel!' She berated him with a harsh whisper.

Amanda suddenly sat up, meerkat like, at her desk. Recent events?

Wilhelmina gave Daniel one last scathing look and turned on her heel and walked away. Daniel ran his hand down his face and looked to Amanda; saw the curious expression on her face. Shit.

'Recent events, Daniel?'

'Oh...uh...well...uh...you know, can't really work in the same room as someone you hate...can you?'

'I suppose not.' Daniel smiled and turned to enter his office.

'But, Daniel.' She called after him and he turned around. 'That's not recent.' She smiled mischievously.

Daniel looked around, plainly worried. 'In my office.'

Amanda jumped up and scuttled into Daniels office, immediately she hopped up on the glass table, legs crossed, gazing expectantly.

'Spill boss...you doing the wicked witch of the wardrobe?'

Daniel just looked at her.

'OH EM GEE...you are, that's the reason we stopped being fun buddies isn't it?'

Again Daniel said nothing. 'Oh come on Daniel, I'm dying here. You can tell me. Just say "Mandy, me and Wilhelmina are having hot, secret, nasty, office sex." You'll feel better trust me.'

Daniel stared ahead robotically, 'Mandy...me and Wilhelmina are having hot, secret, nasty, office sex.'

Amanda jumped off the table, jaw dropped to her chest. 'Oh my God, I didn't really believe it until you JUST said it!'

'But you said...!'

Amanda started walking in a circle round the office, hand on her hip. 'Daniel, I say lots of things...'

'I noticed.'

Amanda stopped pacing. 'Uh uh, it's not making fun of Amanda time; it's tell me why you're making the beast with two backs with Wilhelmina time.'

'You really have a way with words, don't you?'

'Enough stalling beady meadey, I want details.' Her voice lowered. 'And I mean details.'

Daniel resumed pacing where Amanda had left off. 'I dunno...it just happened. We've been working together a lot. She's alone, I'm alone, I'm hot, she's hot and we just...sorta...'

'...Ended up rolling around on the cutting room floor.' She grinned.

'For want of a better term, yeah.'

'When?'

'Fashion week.'

'Fashion week! Daniel that was months ago! And are you still..?'

He nodded. 'Wow...so is just sex or...you know?' She asked in awe.

'Wait, why aren't you giving me a hard time about this?'

She shrugged. ''Cos everyone else will, someone should give you a break. Besides, it's not like I blame you. She's hot and scary, and scary is hot so when you add scary hot to already hot you get super hot.'

'It disturbs me that I know exactly what you mean. So...you think she's hot huh?' He grinned, lecherously.

'Totally, if I had worked here during my experimental faze...Daniel...DANIEL!!' She stared at the zoned out face of her boss until he shook himself.

'Sorry, my mind just went to a very dirty place.'

She smiled and slowly wriggled her hips, he laughed. 'You know you can't tell anyone this, not even Marc.' He warned.

She nodded, 'Your filthy little secret is safe with me...does Betty know?'

'No.'

She smiled. 'What?' He asked.

'Nothing, I just feel kinda special that you would tell me and not her.'

'I trust you Amanda.'

She smiled and left the office, swaying her hips and thinking one thing. I'm so going to security to get tapes of their offices.

She stopped and turned. 'Wait you still didn't answer me. Is it just sex...or you know...more?'

He bit his lip and pondered for a second.

'More.'

xXx

Amanda pranced into Marc and Betty's office. 'What's up bitches?' She snapped her fingers. Betty rolled her eyes and continued working. Marc scrunched his face at her.

'Stop the ghetto attitude; it doesn't go with what you're wearing.'

'Then again nothing does.' Betty chimed in.

Amanda shook her head vigorously. 'That did not just happen....anyway. I'm bored, Daniel's at a lunch meeting with WILHELMINA.' She tried to put extra emphasis on Wilhelmina's name, not that it went noticed by the two junior editors.

'Come on...I know, let's go get the interns to prank call Anna Wintour.'

Marc didn't look up. 'Sorry sweetie, I'm swamped.'

'You're always swamped; you've already got the job chillaaaax.'

'Mandy, I will not chillax, this is only the first step. I need to be on top of my game to keep moving up. I want more than this.' He buried his head in his work, effectively dismissing her. Her smile fell at her friend's attitude; she turned to Betty and slapped one on again.

'How about you Bettylicious, its Taco day in the cafeteria.'

'No time Mandy, I've got this piece to turn in to Wilhelmina and then Daniel has set me up with some freelance writing.'

'Freelance?'

'Yeah, I need the cash for my family. Justin's tuition is astronomical and we still need to get some new stuff for the house, the insurance payout didn't cover everything after the fire...Money's tight. And I've got to get all this paperwork done before we move into Daniels office.'

Amanda looked from Betty to Marc and back to Betty; both were hard at work and took no notice of her. She looked at her watch and gasped, it was time to meet the new receptionist.

She hurried down the hall and came to a halt at the desk. There was a short, stocky girl with her back to her. She tapped her on the shoulder, when the girl turned round Amanda saw she wore a knee length pink tulip skirt with a garish yellow ruffled blouse. She had thick rimmed blue glasses; she waited for the girl to smile. No braces...but close enough.

'New Betty!' She squealed.

The girl looked confused. 'Uh..I'm Suzie; I'm here for the receptionist's job.'

'Okay New Betty, here's the deal. This is your desk, that's your chair; you're phone and your message pad. Now let's take a look at you.'

Amanda smiled as the girl was forced to turn around under Amanda's scrutiny. 'Uh...I can type 100 words per minute with 98% accuracy, I graduated top in my...'

'Did you not here me? Desk, chair, phone, pad, done! So New Betty...'

'Suzie.' They began walking down the tube.

'New Betty, I'm assistant to the Editor in Chief, Daniel. He's okay, you need something, you can talk to him. The other Editor in Chief is Wilhelmina, she's not okay, you need something, you can't talk to her. The other players in this little ensemble you need to know are Marc; junior fashion editor, my bestie and Wilhelmina's minion...'

'Minion?'

'No interrupting the pretty girls New Betty, Then there's Old Betty, junior features Editor. She's a little lumpy but she grows on you like a bad rash you kinda miss scratching when it's gone...Oh and Claire, Daniels Mom, she's an alcoholic that killed my Mom but she's actually very sweet, unless you're Wilhelmina.'

'She killed you're Mom?'

'Interrupting! The rest do...something around here I guess, but if you stick with me you won't need to bother with them.'

New Betty stopped walking with Amanda. 'You know, I've been in this office for thirty minutes and everyone was kinda horrible to me...why are you being so nice?'

Amanda stared into the air; 'I don't know.' Her eyes went wide and she grabbed New Betty's arms; 'Oh my God, I'm growing!' She grabbed the girl and pulled her into the closet.

'What are we doing?'

'Well I may be growing, you know able to see the person behind the tragedy but I still cannot allow crimes against fashion to go on right under my nose. It's makeover time, I'm gonna take you from New Betty to simply A Betty.' She smiled.

Amanda began pulling clothes from racks and wheeled the make-up tray towards the bewildered girl.

'You know New Betty, now that we're friends; I've decided to make you my new project.'

'You really don't have to do that.'

'I know...that's what makes me so nice.'

Whenever I see someone, less fortunate than I

And let's face it, who isn't? Less fortunate than I

My tender heart, tends to start to bleed.

And when someone needs a makeover, I simply have to take over.

I know, I know, exactly what they need.

And even in your case

Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face,

Don't worry; I'm determined to succeed,

Follow my lead

And yes indeed, you-will-be.

Popular!

You're gonna be popular

I'll teach you the proper ploys,

When you talk to boys

Little ways to flirt and flounce

I'll show you what shoes to wear,

How to fix your hair, everything that really counts.

To be popular

I'll help you be popular

You'll hang with the right cohorts,

You'll be good at sports

Know the slang you've got to know

So let's start

'Cos you've got an awfully long way to go.

Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to become a pal, a
Sister and adviser
There's nobody wiser


Not when it comes to popular -
I know about popular
And with an assist from me
To be who you'll be
Instead of dreary who-you-were: well are:
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming popu-Ler:

Lar:

La la la la
We're gonna make
You popular

When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of
Celebrated heads of state or
Especially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!

They were popular! Please -
It's all about popular!
It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very very popular
Like me!

'Why, New Betty, look at you. You're beautiful.'

'I - I have to go.'The girl hurried from the room in her new, more stylish attire. Amanda craned her neck to watch her flee.

'You're welcome!' She walked to view her own fabulous self in the mirror and began preening.

And though you protest
Your disinterest
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your new found popularity
La la la la
You'll be popular -
Just not as quite as popular
As me!

Authors Note: Song used in this fiction is 'Popular' from the show 'Wicked' (as if UB fans didn't know :D) Originally sang by Kristin Chenoweth. Remember peeps, not a serious fic here...just for a giggle, I hope it made some of you smile.