Well this is my first fanfic I hope you like; it`s just something that came to me.

She looked into his eyes trying to find something that wasn`t there. Her own eyes watered as it finally hit her, he wasn`t her`s and he never would be. No matter how much she hoped and begged.

He would always love her, his lost lily, and no marriage law would ever change that. No steaming hot tea infront of the roaring fire in his sitting room; no helping him in his lab, seeing him with that look of complete concentration on his face, that she loved so dearly.

She knew, of course she did, that when the letter from the ministary flew through her bedroom window tied to a golden owl that all the commotion in the papers about marriage laws and people being forced to magically bind themselves to people they hardly knew was true.

Was that all only five years ago? Five years ago she opened that letter which informed her who she would soon be tied to by marriage, but not by love. Five years ago at the ripe old age of 20 she still had the illusion of love, the illusion that someone could change and let go of the past. Now standing in front of him her eyes taking in his every move and every feature like it could be her last chance to; and most likely it was she knew some people couldn`t change or simply wouldn`t. Once she walked out that door she would have to do what he couldn`t all them years ago; let go.

Her mind, going a hundred miles an hour thought back to their wedding night, the night they had to consummate their union. The night most married couples couldn`t wait for. However for them it wasn`t loving lookes and soft caresses, feeling the love and pleasure coat them like a warm blanket, it was him doing his part then leaving the bed like he was sick just looking at her or even being near her. That thought stayed with her floating around in her mind like a disease till sleep mercifully consumed her, along with the fresh tears still sliding down her red cheeks.

To some degree that thought had stayed with her through all the years they spent together. She can now think back and laugh a small pitiful laugh at how naive she could be. How even though he still couldn`t look at her without that disgusted curl of his lip she somehow fell in love with him, with his dry sense of humor and passionate work ethic. Hell, she even found his small clipped remarks on his students stupidity funny; not that she would ever tell him that, not that he would even care enough to listen.

So many years were spent like that. Her trying to live with a man who would probably laugh at her love for him.

As she looked at him now the bag in her hand charmed to be as light as a feather however felt heavy, pulling her down. She saw his coal black eyes seeming to study her taking in her every move just like she had done not that long ago. She briefly wondered what he saw, did he see the pain he poured into her soul with his every action that conveyed just how little she ment to him? Did he see the women who had suffered to much in her 25 years of life already that all she wanted was someone to love her unconditionally?

"Congratulations"

Her voice cracked. The words shattered the silence into a million pieces as confusion over took his calm, collected mask. His unspoken question screamed and shouted into the silent room, turning her stomach. Now or never as they say. She looked deep into his eyes making him see how every crual remark and whispered love to his lily during them nights they slept together hurt her, and she whispered what she had been trying to say since they got the letter from that same golden owl stating that they were able to file for divorce. Not caring any more if she was weak she said them final words.

"You did what belletrix, voldamort and any other death eater failed to do. You broke me."

With that heart breaking remark she turned and swung the door open leaving him standing on his own. She never did find out if he had tears in his eyes or if it was just light playing tricks on her but what she did know was that she was able to do what he never could, she let the past go and she learnt to love again.

So there you have it; please review. Would like to see what you thought of it.

d. xx