Note: You may have noticed that I wrote another thing that takes place around this episode. The two have no relation. I just really liked this episode.


Strictly speaking, Troy, the bible condemns this level of friendship. What had Troy expected? He'd covered quickly, saying that he'd bought the book used, so someone else must have drawn it, and it had only sounded so believable because it was a half-truth. It hadn't sounded indignant and obvious like all lies in the movies he watched with Abed in the dorms. It had sounded nonchalant. He had had a lot of practice with that façade in the past few weeks.

Because yes, Troy had bought the Spanish book used, but it was not some faceless girl who had drawn the hearts.

But when the study group went off on a wild goose chase to track down and seduce this mystery girl, Troy didn't correct them. He had tested the waters by pointing out the drawing, and they were shark-infested. And not the cool kind of shark that lets you jump over it like in that episode of Happy Days. The kind of shark like in Jaws 2 that makes it definitely not safe to go back in the water.

At least Shirley had entertained the possibility that it might be a boy. Then we have to find them for Jesus. How would Shirley react if she knew that one (Two?) of the members of her own found family weren't straight?

Britta would be ecstatic. She was always talking about her lack of gay friends and how it made her feel uncool unaccepting. Also, it would distract the group from her pronunciation of the word 'bagel.' Man, that was never going to get old.

When Shirley and Annie wondered how to find out who had the book last, Troy didn't volunteer that the former owner's name, Jenny Adams, was written on the inside of the front cover. If they would just drop this already, Troy could go back to pining in peace, without an extra constant reminder that this was an impossibility.

It didn't matter that they had never found who made the drawing, Britta, Annie, Shirley, and Pierce were still set on getting Abed a date. So, that afternoon, Troy found himself in an empty classroom with six out of seven members the study group teaching Abed how to seduce people. (Women, actually. It was expressly specified.)

It was difficult not to melt like Annie did at Abed's Don Draper impression. He couldn't bite back his awe entirely. Everyone else was distracted, though, first by assaulting Abed with suggestions and then by Jeff's issues with gym shorts, so Troy figured he got off scot-free.

He was, of course, wrong.

They walked back to the study room together after Jeff's pool triumph. When they got there, they stood hesitantly around the table, and everyone looked at Annie, who shook her head and smiled benevolently.

"We can study tomorrow. I think we all need some time to recover from this traumatic experience." She reached up to adjust the blanket around Jeff's shoulders. It was more a symbolic blanket than a necessary one at this point; he had found some clothes.

Jeff and Annie went off to get some coffee in the cafeteria, Britta dragged a terrified-looking Shirley out of the room ("My cats are going to love you!"), and Pierce said something about a Laser Lotus hive meeting and departed in a hurry. It was just Troy and Abed left, sitting next to each other at the study room table, and it shouldn't have felt so awkward.

Abed knew.

Troy could see it in his eyes. Abed was looking at him now like he had x-ray vision, which was fitting because Troy was pretty sure he could see straight through him. Abed always could. Well, there was no point skirting around it now.

"If you knew it was me the whole time, why didn't you say anything?"

Abed spoke slowly, like every word was a careful choice. "I didn't want to bring it up in front of the group."

Troy laughed humorlessly. "I clearly didn't have an issue with it. I brought it up."

"I know," Abed said. "I wanted some time to calculate the best approach."

"I think it's pretty simple. 'Not interested' usually does the trick." Troy didn't mean for it to come out so bitter. They were friends, after all. Best friends. He shouldn't have put one of the most important relationships in his life at risk.

"This is why I needed more time," Abed said, shaking his head. "I didn't anticipate that communication with you would actually be more difficult than communication with the group."

"Go on."

"I thought that our relationship would continue to be 'will-they, won't-they' for a few more years, but I was wrong. Things have progressed much faster than I expected. We are in a state of mutual attraction, and the biggest issue is the group's acceptance, not our own."

Mutual attraction? Troy forgot everything he heard before that. "Just to be clear—"

"I like you," Abed finally said. "Romantically."

Troy grinned and bit his bottom lip.

"This is the part where we kiss, right?" he said.