THE HARDEST PART OF THE JOB

After watching Pig in blanket, I wanted to give another version of the conversation between Danny and Steve after the death of Officer Olena, Danny's friend. I also think it is somewhat relevant as we approach the anniversary of 9/11, remembering those brave souls who gave their lives in public service. My thanks go to Honu once again for giving her time to beta. It's been a long time since I have written anything and had a bit of a block.

Danny Williams stood looking through the window of the hospital room where his friend, HPD Officer Chinough Olena was fighting for his life. Olena was surrounded by a team of doctors and nurses all doing their utmost to save him.

Danny's fists were clenched so tightly his nails had drawn blood. He held his breath and his heart was pounding in his ears.

Please let him live, please let him live, the words were spinning around in his head. He doesn't deserve this, was all he could think of. His eyes were focused on the heart monitor when its orange line went flat and it emitted the harsh buzzing alarm which signalled that the heart had stopped. Then it suddenly started beeping again and the line began to flicker.

Danny let out his breath, watching the monitor without blinking. The pounding in his ears eased a little. Was his friend going to make it? Minutes passed, but they seemed like hours to Danny. He watched as the monitor stopped and started, the doctor pumping the patient's heart, and then finally using the metal electrodes to try to restart his heart, but it was all to no avail; the line went flat and the monotonous tone of the monitor sounded once and for all. Danny watched as the doctors moved away and a nurse pulled the sheet over Chinough's body.

Danny felt a tear roll down his cheek and a sudden anger well up inside. The murderer was in a room just along the hall, recovering from the bullet wound Officer Olena had inflicted after he had been shot. Shot for no other reason other than the fact that he was a cop. "A pig," his killer had called him.

Danny wanted to go to that room and shove those words down the junkie's throat. He was just about to turn, when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. A hand he had felt many times before, in thanks, in comfort and in friendship.

As he turned, Danny's grief was mirrored in the deep blue eyes of his boss, mentor, and friend, Steve McGarrett.

"I'm so very sorry, Danno," said Steve as he led Danny to a coffee machine and placed a couple of coins in the slot.

Danny stifled a sob, sipping the coffee Steve handed to him. He swallowed hard. "I can't believe it, Steve. Only two hours ago, I was telling him I owe him a steak."

"As I recall, you owe him a lot more than that, Danno." Steve stated. "He was a good man and a good friend."

A year previously, Chinough had saved Danny's life after a chase ending with the criminal about to stab Danny in the heart during a hand to hand fight. Chinough had kept calm enough to wait for the exact moment to shoot the assailant mere seconds before he certainly would have plunged his into Danny's heart.

"Yeah, Danny agreed, "And he had a wife, a son, and another child on the way. What am I going to say to Rona? The thought of Chinough's wife, now a widow, intensified Williams' despair. "Why is it that the good guys go first and the bad ones get to live?" Danny asked, thinking of the junkie in the room along the corridor. "Maybe that's why I'm still here." He said his voice was a whisper as he tried to maintain control.

McGarrett's eyes blazed dark blue in anger. "Don't you ever let me hear you say anything like that again Danno. How do you think Chinough would feel if he heard that from you?" McGarrett didn't raise his voice, being in a hospital, but it was forceful enough to make Danny jump. "If it wasn't for him, you wouldn't be here. And that's not because you're a bad guy, Chinough happened to be in the right place at the right time and you life was spared. Only God knows why. Don't question it, Danno. As for Rona, it's going to be rough on her. It always is. But she WILL go on living and remembering, as do all the wives and husbands of those who have been lost through needless violence." It stinks, I know, but that's the way it is."

They both turned as the gurney was wheeled out of the room. Danny walked over and placed his hand on the sheet covering his friend's body.

"Goodbye, my friend, I'll make sure that your family will be okay."

McGarrett again placed his hand on Danny's shoulder and softened his tone.

"I know it's difficult to accept, Danno. You and I are no strangers to loss. We see far too much of it in this job. You thought your world had ended when Jane was murdered," Steve said gently. "Butt you moved on and now you have a wonderful life ahead of you with Kalena. That isn't to say you wished you had never met Jane, anymore than my sister and Tom would not have wanted Tommy if they knew he wasn't going to be with them for long. They gave him all the love they had in his short life. Now they have another child on the way, but that doesn't mean they wished they'd never had Tommy." His memory will always be with them."

Steve purchased another two cups of coffee, handing one to Danny after throwing the empty cups in the trash can.

"It's not how long a life we live that's important, Danno, but it's what we do with our lives that count. Chinough was a good husband and father as well as a good cop; He gave all of himself for his family and his job." Steve paused knowing it probably wasn't much consolation to Danny, but he continued anyway.

"I remember something Gina said to me after I told her it would not be easy loving a cop. She said she would rather have one moment of life with my love, than to live to be a hundred without it. She said if every cop, soldier, fireman or anyone who had a dangerous job, decided not to fall in love because they might not come home, then half the world would be alone."

"I know what you're saying, Steve. Rona knew those things, but probably she shut them from her mind. I suppose everyone does .I know she's strong; it takes a special kind of woman to be a cop's wife. You and I, we both have that kind of woman"

"So did Chinough," Steve responded as Danny took a deep breath and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the dampness from his face.

"Danno, I'll tell his wife if you want me to."

"No Steve," replied Danny. "I have to tell her myself. You know that's the hardest part this job."

"I know, Danno, I know. McGarrett once again placed a comforting hand on Danny's shoulder as they walked into the waiting room.