Humaity's Strongest

When you're given a nickname it's hard to understand the power, hope, and fear that go with it. Once I was a criminal, known nothing more than as a lowlife by all those who walked past me. My comrades and I were looked down upon, scoffed at for the filthy history we carried on our shoulders. I have tried long and hard to clean that history from me. Nobody knew what I'd done or where I came from, and faintly I wondered if Erwin even knew that part of me. If he did he never shared it. I knew he held some skeletons in his closet and I didn't poke or prod, I knew exactly where I stood. Sometimes, when I'm cleaning I forget about all that. It's nice few moments where I'm so focused and busy that my mind just wanders into blankness and for a few minutes I feel like everybody else. I wonder if it's because I'm so focused or if the chemicals I'm using are actually beginning to seep into my brain like Zoe always warned me about. No, she hated that name. I never understood why when it's so pretty and normal... wait maybe that's why. Hanji is so weird and offputting that it's just like her.

Wait... I'm getting of topic.

But it's my own mind, so can I get off topic in my own thoughts? I'll ask Hanji about that later.

Scratch that. She'll want human test subjects to test that on. I can't afford to lose anymore recruits. Where was I again? Ah... the nickname.

Humanity's Strongest is definitely an interesting name. It's one that's hard to live up to, and yet not hard at all. Of course on the field I have to be the best out there. I have to move to protect my troops, to try and delude myself that I'm doing something for the good of humanity. It's hard to do that when you're seeing innocent cadets die, their muscles and reflexes freezing when they are grabbed. Some escape, some are helped, and some don't make it out of the fight alive. I've learned the hard way you can't save everyone. No matter how hard I've fucking tried.

It's that fight that earned me my name. When I am assigned to a team or I creat me own it's uplifting for the troops to hear that Humanity's Strongest will be traveling alongside them. They know if I'm there then whatever they're doing is worth fighting for, worth dying for. They know their sacrifices will mean something to the world and they proudly take their fates. Most of them do anyway. They know I will fight for their lives to defend and protect them and that I won't allow them to be killed for nothing. That I'll try my hardest and damndest to make sure every one of them returns to the world they left behind even if death is a kinder fate than what awaits them.

It's also interesting to see the reactions of the people. When I go somewhere it's immediately silenced. There are repsectful handshakes, the thank yous of people who I'm fighting to free. Sometimes there's a cruel remark but it's carried on the wind and drowned by the praise. I know I don't deserve it because I'm not really Humanity's Strongest. Humanity's Strongest would be able to save everyone and stop those god damn things that roam the earth. If I was I'd never lose a comrade and lead us all to victory. I wouldn't have lost my entire squad to a single, solitairy titan.

So when the plan is mentioned, I immediately disagree. I'm not the only one who does, Hanji gets up and yells at them. They don't know what doing that could produce. They don't know if we will be able to control ourselves. Some of the others high ranking in the corps stand to argue. Losing us would be the greatest downfall that the Survey Corps would ever see. However I don't say a word because I've already stated countless times I will do what it takes to ensure the survival of humanity. I look up to see the two other people nominated for the project looking at the table. Mike doesn't say a word and neither does Erwin. I think Erwin already knew, he was much too high up not to know of this plan. We don't argue because we know the argument that will come, the question asked.

"Haven't you sworn to give everything for the survival of humanity?"

It reminds me of something Armin told me once. For a brat he's surprisingly intelligent. Well, it was more he was telling new cadets while holding this old, falling apart straw hat. He clutches it like a lifeline and I stay quiet, listening. He tells them of his grandpa, a wise man who told him before being sent off to recalim the wall that those who can not give up everything to make a change will never change anything. I wish I had met Armin's granfather, or that he had joined the corps. He would've been a good man, an honorable comrade, and maybe even a friend.

I've already made the swear and I will do all it takes.

The higher ups insist of the positives of turning us into the monsters. They say we'd have better control than Eren with our years of experience. We'd be an invaluable asset to the Survey Corps to have more shifters ready to fight the ones we know are out there. We've already seen Annie, Bertolt, Reiner, and now nobody knows who will turn up next to be one of those creatures. To have the three of us on their side would be invaluable.

And also... the immortality.

We don't know how far a titan's regenerative powers will stretch but we do know Jaeger was able to regrow his own body parts. Annie was able to regrow her eyes. A power like that would again be invaluable to us. With Erwin's arm gone he hasn't been able to go on expeditions as much. His disibility is hindering, and to grow that back would be a help to everyone. Even if there are those who disagree, we simply stay quiet and accept our fate.

We will do what's best for humanity. Humanity's Strongest would give that sacrifice.

I don't know where I am now, all I can do really is think. I remember Hanji followed us down, demanding she be there to watch my vitals. She doesn't do the same for Erwin or Mike and it's a strange comfort to me. Maybe because I consider her a friend. I think she considers me one, either that or an interesting subject she can't bear to lose. I'd like to think it's the former. I remember them strapping me down to the table, and I could barely move an inch. I don't admit my fear at all, just close my eyes and wait for the damned poison to be administered into my veins.

I hear Hanji's voice and for once it's not the nagging, bragging, droning voice I'd come to expect. Instead it's delicate and gentle, asking me if I'm ok. I wonder if she can see my fear, we've been comrades long enough she probably knows all of my tells. She's probably noticed each little twitch of my body and can predict what emotion I'm going to portray. Now that I think of that, she's always noticed. She's the one who would come in my room after a tough mission and just talk and talk about random stuff. Once she even talked about first, just hours and hours about dirst while I did my paperwork. Never once did I tell her to shut up, to be quiet or to leave me the fuck alone. It was a comfort, just to hear her voice. It's now I realize that maybe I've done the same for her. I'd like to hope I boosted her moral sometimes with small gestures that I always thought were too awkward to talk about.

"Thank you."
It's a whisper on my lips and Hanji seems surprised. She opens her mouth and I know the question is "What for?" But I don't hear it. Something's going into my veins and it's relaxing. At first I panic at the heaviness of my chest, but someone rubs my hand and tells me to relax. I really hope it was Hanji, and I think it was because I did as it asked. I hope it was, and that I didn't listen to some random person's order. My senses begin to blur as the sedative or anesthesia takes hold of me. I don't hear Erwin or Mike, and strangely that's also a comfort. Whatever it is musn't be too painful.

I feel the syringe go into my neck, and immediately I feel heat. It's hot, much, much too hot and it burns. I wince and the hand continues rubbing and a soft voice cheers me on. My skin feels like it's on fire, but thankfully I don't experience much as I pass out.

That's all I remember.

Now I begin to regain my senses. I wiggle my fingers and feel them tap against my palms. Ok, they're all there. I wiggle my toes, tapping them against the tips of my feet. They're all there too. Oddly enough I feel... comfrotable? I don't know if I should feel that, but I wiggle my arms to find I'm in... padded shackles? We didn't give this luxury to Jaeger! Then again I guess they don't want to hurt Hunamity's Strongest.

"Is he awake?" I hear people talking, and suddenly a warm hand is on my cheek.

"Levi?"

My eyes open, and it's nice and dark so I can see quickly. My eyes rapidly adjust to see I'm in a cell like Jaeger was when we brought him in. I'm in a hosptial bed but chained down with the padded shackles. There are devices hooked up to me and there's beeping. Incessant beeping. I get the urge to count the beeps in succession, but I remember someone had called my name. I look up and Hani focuses into my vision.

"Levi? Can you hear me?"

I find it hard to respond, my mouth not wanting to work. I hear whispers in the background of "Failure." and "Like the other two." Their words don't register now in my drugged state, but I look up into Hanji's eyes.

"Levi?"

"Commander Hanji."

My response is cold, but usual from me. She smiles, and there are tears beading in her eyes. She touches my face and I move away. "Did you wash your hands?"

She laughs but continues doing it, knowing I'm not really complaining. There's whispers in the background, the tones hopeful.
"Success."
"He pulled through."
"He is Humanity's Strongest."

An unknown voice silences the whispers. "Go tell the King. Tell him...

Humanity's Strongest has awoken."