Rin

"Challenge"


It wasn't fair.

I had done everything right.

I had been holding his hand for over a year, been treating his wounds for eight, training with him since my first day as a Shinobi. I had pushed myself to the point of exhaustion over and over, stayed up training to the odd hours of morning if it meant you would notice. Always working hard, by your side, trying and praying to impress you. Even the aloof nature of your glances when I did something impressive, you looked at me.

I was happy.

I loved you, more than anybody else could.

Then she came along.

Was it wrong of me, to be jealous that she had your eye even when I never knew she existed? I don't think it was, it's second nature for girls to feel threatened by another. As far as anybody was concerned, Yuushima Kyouten was just a child when I met her. You saw that, yet still gave her the time of day. Sure it was catty remarks and usually blows to each others ego, but you don't understand Kakashi. You actually looked at her, when you wouldn't spare me more than a second glance.

It stung, bitterly.

Though I admit, when I saw the looks she and Obito shared, I felt a little bit happier. She wasn't interested in you, and you were only interested in tormenting her. I felt happy that Obito found somebody, and as good of a friend he was, I just couldn't see him as more than a teammate, or maybe I just never tried. Either way, I was happy they were together, and I thought that maybe things would be okay.

Then the mission came and-

I just want to forget that.

Yuushima changed a lot then. When I saw her, after hiding away from everyone for so long, I felt upset too. I was upset that, despite the fact that I had known them longer, Yuu had a deeper connection with them. I was frustrated that she wasn't afraid to show her sorrow at Obito's death, she didn't want to forget.

I didn't understand, why would you want to remember, something so painful and sad. Why would you want to know all the details, like some sick bastard? Yet you wanted to know, so I told you. Why did you blow up in my face? Was is that bad to confess, did you like Kakashi too? At the time I didn't realize, your anger was directed at the fact that I had confessed when Obito had just died.

The rest of that year, I spent humbling myself a bit with that. It was embarrassing to think I had done such a thing, but like everything else, I moved on. You moved away to Lightning then, and I won't deny, I secretly wished you wouldn't come back. Maybe then Kakashi would stop looking at the sky, maybe then he'd stop asking what the date was. At some point, I believed that he could love me as I loved him.

He was even starting to show it too, we kissed and shared secrets. He invited me over for nights and we spent every waking moment together. Even when he joined the ANBU, we still had time for each other. Most of our time was spent together, and I loved it. I loved him so much, and I believed, with a little more time, he would stop checking for that girl's figure in the crowds, he would stop thinking about her all together. Just a little more time...

It didn't happen though.

I didn't think she would return, so I hadn't braced myself for the change. I hadn't admitted to myself that I was actually worried Yuu would steal him away, because they were rivals, right? Still, when I heard you and Kakashi were matched, when I heard the damage you caused... I was terrified.

I watched you, this little kid that hurt herself on a C ranked mission, this brat that was one comment away from being curb stomped by Kakashi. I watched you grow into this thing, this monster that I absolutely hated. You'd become everything I never thought you would be. You became my greatest rival.

You traded in those dark eyes and rectangle body for something more womanly. These bright eyes that felt like they were digging into my core and ripping me apart, they were the eyes of a true rival. You were still young, but your hips and shoulders jutted out, you looked less lithe and more sturdy, womanly. Your short reddish copper hair had darkened with age too, becoming a bloody loose braid to your shoulder blades. Height wise, you were three inches shorter than Kakashi, two inches taller than I. You looked awful, I hated you.

Was this really the little twerp that dogged after Obito and Kakashi? Was this seriously the brat who couldn't pass the first exam? No way! This was impossible!

Yet it wasn't, I knew it wasn't. You just snuck up behind me, and pulled the wool over my eyes without even trying. I knew, I knew Kakashi noticed your changes too, because although he acted the same, he didn't look at me with that same light anymore. You weren't as pretty as me, but that fire about you, it even drew me in.

Damn you.

This was bad.

Kakashi was many things, but cruel wasn't one of them. Or maybe it was because he was in denial as well? He tried to separate himself from her, and it made me feel happy. I didn't realize that each time I kissed him or held him in front of her, I was silently pushing him further away. My possessiveness got the best of me, because I had failed where Shima succeeded. I had failed to notice, Kakashi didn't like the things I did, the tricks I had learned from other women.

He wanted a strong woman who wasn't afraid to rough house with him, a woman who could stand up to his mood swings and bland outlook. Though I doubt he even knew this, but I know now, I wasn't the woman he wanted. I was the infamous medical ninja of the Hidden Leaf. Rin Nohara, I wasn't necessarily 'feared', but I was carefully monitored one missions. The success rate of missions doubled when I was there, and I took pride in this.

That is, until she progressed further.

Yuushima Kyouten had grown to become a very deadly combatant. Preforming Taijutsu that even outranked Kakashi, matched Might Gai, needless to say I was upset. You were dubbed Konoha's Blue Flicker, making me wonder; was I more upset hearing your name, or your nickname? Hmm, it was hard to say. What made matters worse, you and Kakashi made the perfect partners. The Copy Cat and the Blue Flicker, together you were invincible.

I watched you on our first mission, you both never spoke to each other, you just did the job. Without any communication, your timing was perfect, and soon you both had the shared title of Fuubitsuin.

I really hated you then.

Kakashi never noticed it then, neither did you. It was like there was a whole other side to you both on missions. The mission was where it was taboo to speak of foolery or anything that may compromise your focus. Suo had noticed too, there was an aura around you two as you spoke about tactics before the battle that just wouldn't let anybody get close.

In the times that Kakashi spent with me, copious amounts of time, I thought it meant things were getting better, but in truth, they only got worse. You just had to make him come for you, didn't you Shima? I was happy, I was getting to be really happy, when you stole him again. That mission, that mission where I thought Kakashi was going to be lost, he was out of my grasp. Yet there you were Yuushima, tearing rocks off like it was life or death for you. I'd never seen you look so fragile, so desperate before. That image of a monster melted a little, and I could see. In a way, you were just like me, just searching for something worth while in this world.

You chose Kakashi, why couldn't you have chosen somebody, anybody, else? I would've been fine, if it wasn't Kakashi you were looking at with such fear and pain. You were so afraid of letting him go, I knew then that, despite the steely features, you loved him like he loved you.

"I can save him, I can save him."

Did you even know you were talking that whole time? That while your hands were trembling and tearing away at the rock tomb, you were saying these things so desperately? I decided, when I got to the hospital, that I needed to blow off some anger, because once again I had let you steal my thunder. I had panicked, and it could've cost Kakashi his life.

I needed to be close to him then, so I asked him, when he was omitted from the hospital. I asked for him to love me like he always did. I just wanted to feel close, and he said he was fine, was it wrong to ask for such things?

Apparently it is.

That night he found you was another example , curled against the Memorial Stone, I hated being there. I wish I could've been anywhere else in the world, anywhere but there. You kissed him, begging for Obito. I wanted to spit at you, for playing such a game. You had become such a foul mouthed girl, and you definitely had no problem expressing your hatred of me. I hate to admit it, but you intimidated me. Actually, at some point you scared me. That look about you, like you could take on the world.

Go away, get out of my home.

This is mine, you lost yours.

I was envious, and afraid.

What hurt the most, was Kakashi never stopped you. I knew he knew, without a doubt, that he had developed something more for you. It was like this all the time, since the beginning. He just never knew, you had taken up a corner of his heart, imprinted yourself in there so that nothing and nobody would take your place. I knew, because Kakashi looked at me then, and with such a painful look of regret. I knew it wasn't aimed at you Yuushima, it was for me, for everything we'd done.

'I'm sorry.'

The unspoken words were in his eyes, because I knew I had just lost him. Shima had just stolen my precious person, and it was completely unintentional.

Still, he didn't leave me.

He actually tried to avoid Shima after that, and it felt better again, it felt like maybe, just maybe, I had hope again. Even though it was fake, Kakashi was loving me, but I think it was really because he was afraid to love you. I don't think Yuushima ever knew how deeply Obito's death hit Kakashi. It was so deep Yuushima, Kakashi still couldn't forgive himself for it. He visits Obito's grave every single day he can, and asks for one thing.

He wants Obito to wish him happiness.

Do you know what that happiness is, the thing that has been eluding him for years? I followed him one day, and watched as he crouched down to Obito's grave and stared at it so intently.

"Please," He would always say. "Wish us happiness, happiness together."

He would say it, every single day. He would ask for Obito to pray for them, for Obito to smile down on him with good fortune.

He was asking for you, Shima. He was always asking if he could be happy with you. It was the one way that he knew he could respect Obito in death, it was the one way he could say 'I remember you.' without getting too into it.

It was shortly after I saw that, that you killed me.

I have never seen such an ugly monster in my life.

Yuushima Kyouten, Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, Blue Flicker, Monster, you've known so many names, haven't you?

You tore my flesh like it were paper, snapped my wrist like a twig. Even when I shrieked out, called you out on what an awful thing you were, even when I cursed your name, you never heard. It fell on dead ears, because the innocent girl I might've beaten or been able to get to in the past was no more. You were just this creature I didn't know anymore now.

You never paid respects to me either. Yet you came to my grave at least once a month. Nothing was ever said, nothing was ever done. Kakashi was the only one who took care of my grave, told me stories about how you were doing playing surrogate for Minato's child. About how Itachi, the person Yuushima claimed to consider a younger brother, had killed his own clan and gone rogue. I laughed in your face from my translucent state. I mocked you even when Kakashi spoke of your achievements.

Fiftieth deadliest Shinobi alive my ass.

Then you came to me that night, and there wasn't anything special about the date at all. So why did you come here, and suddenly start talking, after four years of silence? Why were you pouring your heart out to me, talking about how bad you were and how awesome I was? Why did I listen to you, and actually think about what you said?

Maybe it was because you were crying, or that you were admitting defeat, or just maybe I really never hated you all along. Either way, my heart leaped to you, and I wanted to hug you. After all this time, you're still just a little girl, aren't you Yuu? You never wanted to grow up and become a woman, you never wanted to fall in love or care about anything, if you had it your way the world would be flat and there wouldn't be anything hidden from your sight.

They say you find peace in death, and maybe they were right, because I find myself accepting everything you said, I actually found myself believing anything that came from your mouth too. Maybe it was because you've always been someone I've watched out for, albeit been jealous of, or maybe it's because I know.

I know if there's anybody who can do this, it's you, Yuushima. You're the only one who can make Kakashi happy, who can love him and make him who he needs to be.

Kakashi might act like he hates you, but I know, you are his most important person. For the first time, I don't want that to change.

So please, Yuushima, don't stop.

After all, tomorrow's challenge is right around the corner.


Hey guys.

I figured my mind needed a rest from the main story line for a bit, so Ima gunna write a few one shots based off the first book now. If you have any requests for POVs or scenes you'd like to know how Yuu would handle, just let me know!

Cheers!

Kiwi-chan