A/N: This is something that has been bumping around in my head for a while, and I had to get it down on paper. I recently got into Yu Yu Hakusho, and this is my first attempt to write for it.
This fic is set after the Dark Tournament saga episode "A Matter of Love and Death" and the victory over team Masho. I just wonder what we would see if we got more than an occasional peek into Hiei's head. Kurama's point of view, and some slash.
I led the proverbial charge as team Urameshi marched triumphantly back to its rooms; Hiei, Yusuke, and Kuwabara followed me down the hall, each of us leaning on the other, shambling through the corridor like a grotesque parade. The masked woman followed silently behind, casting her suspicious eyes to each dark corner.
Every member of our team had been badly battered, and as we limped back into our suite, we separated silently to our own ends of the hall which held the double rooms we had shared. Very soon, there would come a time for celebration; we had survived and earned a day of rest, we would move on to the semi-finals, we were one step closer to victory. But for now there was time only for recuperation. Yusuke and Kuwabara helped one another into the first room, and the stranger glided silently into the room at the far end of the hall.
Hiei and I entered our room, prepared to sleep. As I set about readying myself for the night, however, a certain thought kept tugging at the back of my mind. I had questions about the day's events I would not be able to resolve for myself, and indeed I trusted only one person to give me answers.
I sat on my bed and waited until I had Hiei's attention. I closed my eyes for a moment, and I could just hear Kuwabara yelling in the next room. A small smile ghosted across my face, and even that caused me a small measure of pain. I opened my eyes slowly to see Hiei standing across the room, folding his cloak into the dresser he stood before. His arm had been unwrapped at some point, and seemed to be almost healed, at least from the outside.
"Hiei," I began slowly, wanting to phrase the question just so, "after my fight with Toya today…." Hiei's eyes slid across the room to me, his head moving just slightly, but he said nothing. "When I woke, the score said I had fought three rounds."
Hiei allowed the silence to stand for a moment. "You don't remember." It was not a question.
I looked up at him, meeting his eyes steadily. "But I would like to."
Something in Hiei's face, the way he held himself, shifted slightly. His shoulders stiffened, and I watched as the muscles in his back tensed and Hiei turned back to the dresser he was standing in front of. "No. You wouldn't."
It would have been easy to become frustrated with him, but I hadn't come this far by getting impatient. I breathed deep, kept my voice steady. "Hiei, tell me. I have a right to know."
Hiei's arms tightened and as he leaned over the dresser, I could tell he was using it for support. Perhaps not so well healed after all. When he turned again, I could see the decision he had made shining in his eyes. "I won't tell you what happened." I avoided the urge to snap at him, drawing up what patience I had left. Hiei waited a moment, as though to test me, then slowly, deliberately crossed the room to sit on his bed, legs crossed, still facing me. He slowly unwound the bandages around his forehead, releasing his third eye. "But I will show you."
I felt the familiar crack of energy buzzing through the room, as I always did when Hiei's eye focused itself on me. I nodded, giving him the permission he hadn't asked for. I felt Hiei's presence in my mind, and the room shifted to an open field with a raised platform in the center; I recognized it as the arena in which we had stood less than an hour ago. I could see my own body, in the center of the ring, held upright by the death plant within.
I watched as the beast Bakken jumped into the ring, stopped Yusuke from removing me, and savagely beat my unconscious body, standing me up every time I fell, allowing the death plant to keep me in the fight. I watched as Yusuke shouted and yelled and threatened until Bakken finally laid my body outside the ring and allowed the match to end. The score showed a loss in my third match, and Yusuke's first began.
As the vision faded, I found Hiei staring intently at me. I forced an uneasy smile. The brutality of the attack had been unsettling, but not unexpected. I had taken a risk, and was lucky even to be alive at all at this point. "Well, some of my injuries make a great deal more sense now." Hiei continued to stare at me, and I could see in his eyes that he was struggling with something. "Thank you, Hiei. I needed to see that." I waited in the silence a moment longer, never taking my eyes from him, and my patience was once more rewarded.
"Kurama," Hiei began hesitantly, as though he didn't want to say it, or didn't want me to hear. "There was something else."
I nodded, determined to know all that had happened. The room shifted again to the field upon which the battles had occurred. Instead of seeing a new round, as I had expected, I watched as Bakken climbed once more into the ring.
Even as I felt the urge to act, I knew there was nothing to be done. I was trapped, a forced observer. I couldn't avoid the helplessness I could feel creeping up from deep within. I didn't want to watch what was about to happen, but some part of me couldn't look away. As Bakken picked up my useless body and threw it across the ring, I felt a rage the likes of which I had never known bubbling up from the pit of my stomach; it was all I could do to contain the screams bounding around my mind.
I listened to the shouts of anger and indignation and resentment as they echoed through my head and was shocked to realize the screams were not in my voice, but Hiei's. In a flash, I knew what was happening; I was watching the fight through Hiei's eyes, feeling the impotent anger he had felt as he stood trapped in the medical tent, thinking thoughts which were not my own.
Stop him, Detective, you useless sack of flesh, I heard Hiei's thought in my mind. Are the rules here truly so important to you? I could hear the crack of bones even from this distance, and I felt the rage boil over. If he dies, Hiei thought, no longer directing his thoughts toward Yusuke, no one leaves this arena.
I saw flashes of Hiei's intentions, and a chill went through me. I watched as Hiei's energy broke through the enchantress Ruka's barrier. Hiei summoned once more the Dragon of the Darkness Flame, giving over his entire body to its power. The audience held its breath for one long, silent moment, and an instant later, the arena erupted in a blaze of death and destruction. There was a horrible cry as every being in the stadium burned alive, and Hiei fell to the ground in the middle of it all, an empty, burned out husk of a demon, drowning in his own rage and grief.
The visions cleared before Hiei's eyes as he stood within the tent, but the anger remained, the helpless feeling stayed rooted in his gut, and a new sensation came over him, one I realized was completely alien to Hiei. He, and by extension I, felt a deep sense of betrayal. Hiei hadn't realized that he trusted Yusuke, but as he stood trapped behind the force field, he now realized he expected Yusuke to step in and do something, rules be damned. But the detective stood outside the ring until Bakken decided he was done with me.
Relief washed over us as I was laid outside the ring, and Hiei breathed deep for the first time since my match with Toya had ended. He had been afraid, I realized, to lose me.
The field dissolved, and our room once again took shape around me. Hiei was carefully considering the carpet as I came to terms with what he had let me see.
This was Hiei; strong, sure, powerful, independent Hiei, and I had never before seen him so vulnerable, so fragile. He shifted uncomfortably in the silence. For the first time in quite a while, I struggled to find the right words. I felt his presence again at the back of my mind.
Hiei, I thought, realizing that no words would help, I want to make you a promise. I want to promise you that I will not die on this island, but I cannot say that. None of us can promise that. I want to promise you that I will stop taking the kind of risks that I took today, but I can't say that either. I tried to catch his eye, tried to find the right words, but none came, and still he would not look at me. I don't know what to say to you to make this easier.
"This was never meant to be easy, Kurama. But if you want a promise, I can only give you this: If you die in battle, I will kill those responsible. But if you die senselessly, to another oaf like Bakken, no one will leave this island." All this he spoke aloud, never once looking up, but I heard him whisper in my head, Promise me that so long as you stand, it will be with me. Hiei's brow furrowed as he stared down at his feet, and he seemed almost ashamed of the thought.
I stood, crossing the narrow space between the two beds to sit at Hiei's side. I sat next to him, letting my hand settle on his where it had twisted into the bed sheets, and he looked up at me, his eyes locking on mine for the first time in what had seemed like an eternity. Deep within those eyes, I saw something I had never seen before, something soft and warm. "Hiei, so long as you want me, you will find me at your side." Before I was aware of the impulse, I had reached up to hold Hiei's face in one hand.
Knowing what was about to happen, Hiei hesitated. "Kurama, your injuries—"
"Would never keep me from you." Before he could raise further protest, I covered his mouth with mine, and our two selves became one; our bodies moved in synch, our minds remained connected, and our hearts beat in unison.
Tomorrow there would be time for celebrations, strategy, and the complications of our victory. There would be time to sort out all the tangled messes we had found ourselves in, and there would be time to fight until we were the only people left on the island. But for tonight, for all the worlds, there were only we two, and the bond we would share until time itself stood still.
The deeper I get into the series, the more I'm likely to write, so if you liked this, keep an eye out. As always, reviews are appreciated, but not mandatory.
