Spoilers: Through 2x23 "Twilight"
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my inspiration.
AN: For Lisa.
The grass crunches beneath his feet as he slowly walks towards the back of the cemetery. It's the first trip he's made in months. The guilt settles in his famous gut like a rock as he kneels down in front of the headstone he knows too well. Each letter and scratch, every last feature has imprinted itself in his brain alongside the memory of her face. He closes his eyes and there she is, her soft eyes and easy smile, the way her hair would fall across her face as she leaned down to look at this piece of evidence or that. The picture so vivid he could almost reach out to touch her. His hand stretches out until she's right there, but he hits the cold stone in front of him instead. Slowly he opens his eyes and sighs.
"Hey, Katie. It's been a while."
His fingers slide over the marble, tracing her name, before he remembers the flowers in his other hand. They're a poor man's tribute, he knows, but he couldn't come with nothing. Gently he lays them down before standing back up. He loses himself in the memories and does not know how long he's been standing there when his eyes start blurring, dragging him back to the present. He rubs them clear and retreats.
They say that time heals all hurts, but he knew that was bullshit long before he'd even met Kate. If he's totally honest with himself, he doesn't want the pain to go away anyway. If it stopped, how would he know they were real? How could he go on living a whole life, unburdened by sadness and regret having known such beauty, such love? No, it's better to carry around the pain and even the guilt – his own burden of proof.
