So some of you might be aware of the Worm CYOA adventure thing that's taken off rather spontaneously in the CrW section of SB. While even the most valiant attempts at a 'balanced' character generally result in horrifically overpowered abominations, I've found myself rather entertained by it.

However, I was gravely disappointed to discover that no one (to my knowledge) had decided to go full God-Emperor expy yet. I, as someone who's exposure to 40k is basically Dawn of War, the Vs forums, and a few fanfics, have decided to rectify that.

In short, bandwagoning. I'ma doin it.

(Also, this entire thing was written while listening to Hero and Heroine by the Strawbs. If you want to know what kind of mindset I was in while writing.)

Here's the section I can post of the Imgur link to the CYOA. /a/WpthI#0

I suggest you read it, you might be very confused otherwise.


I awakened to find myself face to face with a large screen.

Blinking drowsily, I glanced around in bewilderment.

Aside of the screen, nothing appeared of interest. Indeed, the screen itself appeared to be sequestered along with myself in some dark void.

With a rub of a temple, I wrung the last of the sleep out, and thereby allowed my reactions to catch up with me.

In what I believe most would agree is a totally rational action, I yelped and knocked my head against the ceiling.

Or, at least that was what was supposed to happen. Turns out, dark voids have a terminal lack of ceilings to bump one's head against.

Finally realizing that I was no longer in my bed at home, I shakily stood up, the lack of being able to see what I was standing on making the task surprisingly difficult.

Cognizant finally, I managed to get the chance to look at the screen which was my sole source of company.

The contents did little to help my equilibrium.

Hello Citizen!

You have been selected to take direct part in a CYOA of Worm! A webnovel I have been assured you have read.

You will be granted incredible powers and abilities based on your choices, with the ultimate goal of insuring the death of the Warrior!

And really, the abilities are quite absurd, if I do say so myself. You're a fairly early test.

Anyway, as long as the Warrior dies, you'll go home safe and sound. Or if ten years pass. Considering your potential abilities include absolute invulnerability, you have to literally try to fail at this!

Also, time dilation is involved. So you won't mysteriously disappear to your loved ones for however long this takes you.

Aren't we just swell guys?

"...Not kidnapping me probably would have been more swell, don't you think, guys?" I muttered.

Sadly, my complaints went unheard, as the screen shifted into something I vaguely recognized as a typical CYOA format.

Two separated sections appeared on the screen, each with several choices marked with a check-box.

The first section, the one dealing with my potential origins on this world, already had one of the choices checked, and a bit of testing proved that I was unable to modify that sections in anyway. Guess I was stuck with the self-insert choice.

The second section allowed me only a superficial mirage of choice.

"I'm assuming there was very little research done on me. Since you apparently thought there was a chance I wouldn't play with the cheats on." I stated to myself and any unseen watchers as I automatically pushed 'World Breaker' on the difficulty selection section.

A white button reading 'confirm' appeared before me. I pushed it without hesitation.

The screen whirred once more, and I preceded to briefly choke on my own spittle.

Absurd indeed. When the very first line of the very first power says 'absolutely and totally invulnerable to all physical effects that could possible be construed as harmful' you might begin to wonder what kind of setting you're going into.

I didn't bother, I had read Worm. Scion was powerful, but not this powerful. I mean, I wasn't about to look the gift horse in it's mouth (assuming this all wasn't some weird dream) but the 'literally try to fail' statement turned out to be completely serious.

I took a few moments to read through the rest of the powers, and then settled down to think.

Honestly, my first impulse was to take the Tinker power and attempt to recreate Hope Through Overwhelming Firepower. Only this time, all the SB theorizing about a super Tinker being what had changed Taylor would be true.

Eventually, I reluctantly banished the idea, along with the Tinker choice all together. When it came down to it, the Tinker choice still left me a squishy human, and thus the only one truly capable of reaching a failure state. As unlikely as it may be.

Other power choices I discarded were Shaper and Kaleidoscope. I may have been a Zerg player, but I didn't actually want to be one. And Kaleidoscope seemed… boring, honestly. I was totally one to cheat at video games given the slightest reason, but it was usually stat buff cheats rather than the 'I win' command. The former made it easier for me to indulge in power fantasies.

Basically, I was much more likely to put in 'greedisgood(100000000)' than 'whosyourdaddy'.

Which left me with Super Triumvirate, GEoM, Psychokinesis and Power Manipulation.

Technically, from having twelve points, I could take all of them at two points apiece. But that would leave me kind of scarce for later choices.

And besides, who was I kidding? Being an expy of God Emperor sounds much more interesting than being an Expy of the Triumvirate on steroids. And while being a Ness expy would be pretty cool too, today is the day for 40k. I didn't even consider Power Manipulation.

I check off the box next to the GEoM, and after a moment's deliberation, Alexandria as well. I figured that, worst case scenario, I lure Scion to an alternate, uninhabited, universe by means of mind whammied Doormaker and we punch each other in the face for the next thousand years or so. However long it takes Scion to die of energy loss.

God, I hope it doesn't come to that. It sounds boring as all hell.

Pressing the 'Next' button, the screen shifted again. I took notice of, and after a moment's glance, discarded, the companions screen.

None of them were worth points, especially considering none of them were all that much superior to the theoretical Space Marines I could make.

Noting happily there was a back button, I pressed 'Next' again.

Perks and complications. Considering I still had eight points, I doubted I was going to need to take any complications unless the perks were really good as well.

...The perks were really good as well. Luckily, they were low enough in number that I could buy all the ones I wanted. It's just that all of them but one, I didn't need Cauldron powers, were good enough to be wanted.

Glancing in what I thought was a meaningless gesture over the complications section, I paused upon seeing the Quarantined one.

Damn, that was almost an advantage, wasn't it? Taking the full complication (getting me a whopping six additional points) enables my entrance onto the cape scene to be fighting and, hopefully, winning against the Simurgh.

Considering I was basically going to make a serious attempt to rule the world here, making the most impressive first impression I possibly could would do wonders for that. Even with the First Impressions perk, you can still make a better one, right?

Having already convinced myself, I deselected the Secret Lair perk for being pointless, and selected the full Quarantined one.

So I now had eight remaining points, and no idea what to spend it on.

A moment passes.

"Fuck it." I commented into the nothingness, and pressed the final 'Confirm' button, my impatience instigating its inevitable coup on my logic and reason.

The screen whirred one final time, and darkness filled my vision.