Ok, so this is a combined effort between me and my bestest friend evah, Olivia. Anywho, this is completely random and... Yeah. Just read it. Disclaimer: I don't own anything... Copyrighted. At all. I don't own anything, so don't sue me.
Jack was very bored that day. He had done absolutely nothing other than take a walk, eat an egg, watch his pet butterfly, Gertrude, have a conversation with Cotton (he wasn't sure how, exactly), and shoot an undead monkey. Oh. And he drank all the rum. Big surprise there. So now the rum was gone. Why is the rum always gone? The world shall never know. So he sat at the helm and pouted. It was completely silent, save for the interruptive squeal of a seemingly lost penguin in what appeared to be an oversized octopus suit. "Is this the North Pole?" Jack looked down at the thing, assuming he had just had too much rum.
GASP!
No, there is no such thing as too much rum. Jack assumed that he simply had so much rum that he was beginning to hallucinate. There. Much better. He waved it away. 'Does this look like the North Pole to you?"
The penguin paused and put a flipper to its temple in thought. "No." he look around again. "Do you know which way I need to go?"
"Erm… North?"
"Thanx, d00d. U R T3H 1337." The chatspeaking penguin transformed into a pickle and jumped over the side to visit its distant relatives, the sea cucumbers.
Well. Nothing out of the ordinary there, but something was still amiss. Jack couldn't quite put a finger on it. Gibbs ran by, waving a cleaver at Cotton's parrot, screaming at the top of his lungs. "That parrot ate all my spiffy pirate waffles! AND MY CEREAL THAT LOOKS LIKE COCOA PUFFS! YOU KNOW I'M CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS!" he laughed insanely.
Maybe it was that.
So there he sat, mourning his lack of rum when the Flying Dutchman burst up out of the water, spraying water everywhere. "I'm wet." Then he noticed that someone had gotten it into their heads to paint the sides lime green with purple polka-dots. Other than that, everything seemed pretty normal. Well, Clanker was apparently trying to reenact a rather violent Monty Python scene, but otherwise…
On the deck, Maccus walked up beside the captain, who was singing something that sounded like the Spongebob Squarepants theme, but it couldn't be certain. "Uh, sir?"
"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! Oh. Erm, ahem. What is it, Maccus, I have important business to attend to."
"What do you want?
"What do I want?"
"Yessir."
"Well, I want to get revenge on Jack Sparrow, retain my humanity, reclaim the woman I love…" The captain rambled on for a few minutes, going on about things like kumquats and flying toasters. "… And some air fresheners would be nice -have you notice how smelly it gets around here? And I've wanted a pony since I was four, and I've always wanted one of those nifty automatic apple peelers, and-" Maccus interrupted him.
"No, I meant, what do you want?" he held up his Dunkin' Donuts gift card, indicating what he meant.
"Oh." There was an awkward silence. "I'll have the usual- Double Expresso-Mocha-Mint-Iced-Cappuchino-Latte, two creams and a sugar." He looked over to the Pearl, only to see Jack standing there with a stupid grin on his face and Gibbs, running around in the background, squawking like a rooster with pneumonia. "Why don't you make that a triple?" With a sigh, he stepped over to the Pearl and stared down at Jack, who was still grinning, this time a bit more guiltily than before. "You still have a debt to pay." Suddenly, a policeman known as Jacques Clouseau appeared out of nowhere, pointed at Jones and announced with an extremely thick French accent, "I find your accent to be quite foonie." With that, he jumped on his hot pink pony, which Jones was quite jealous of, and rode away into the sunset, even though it was only one in the afternoon.
"Riiiight. Wait, what?" Jack's grin faded.
"You never paid your debt. You have a balance of $97.95 souls remaining."
Oh, well…" Jack searched for an excuse, actually not having one for once. "Well, you see…" He shrugged and poked Jones between the eyes. "Ooh. Squishy."
So there it is. If you didn't laugh, there is something seriously wrong with you. Go see a doctor. All reviews appreciated! I mean, like, ALL reviews. Oh, BTW, I would look foreward to a second chapter, as we both still have ideas.
