A/N: People wanted an endverse!au for the series "Kiddy Corral". So here it is. I'm going to try to update this every other Thursday. There may be more frequent updates, but for now it's every two weeks, just so I don't burn myself out. Enjoy the first chapter.

WARNINGS: This story will contain references to drug use, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, emotional abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of self harm and everything else that's negative. Please be warned that this is not a pretty fic, there will not be many good moments in this, at all. It's dark. Very dark.

Childish Hope

24th January -2010

8 months after Sam said 'Yes'

Charlotte Winchester stared at the flickering flames, anger burning in her veins. None of this was supposed to happen. She'd promised Dean a happy future, promised him that everything would be okay. Wood crackled and she ground down on her teeth harshly and curled her hands into fists. This wasn't supposed to happen, at all. She wanted to cry, wanted to spend the entire day curled up in bed crying and yelling, breaking stuff until she was done.

She wanted to give up now. Fuck the world, fuck saving people. They'd tried that and this was what they'd gotten in return. This was their reward for trying to save the world.

"I'm sorry," Chuck mumbled from her side.

She didn't bother looking at him but she heard Dean make a noise close to a hum of, "Yeah."

It had been eight months since Sam had said "Yes" to Lucifer, hoping that he could control him long enough to jump into the pit. Only he hadn't been able to. Lucifer had turned round, shown them that he was in control and almost killed them. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to steady herself, trying to ground herself in the here and now. Dean and Cas. That's all that were left, that's what she had to worry about.

Charlotte flicked her eyes open and stared at the burning fires a little more before she felt her strength fall. She couldn't stand this, couldn't pretend that this hadn't cut deep for her, for Dean. For everyone. Bobby had been the one with the most knowledge about anything old and ancient, never afraid to speak his mind. And Nat. Charlotte let out a strangled noise at the very idea she'd never see her face again. Nat kept them sane. Kept them human. She was the voice of reason.

Gone.

Killed by a group of hunters who wanted to kill them for starting this. Tears started to slide down Charlotte's face and she felt the warmth of the embers tease her skin. Croats would be swarming this area soon, the smoke from the funerals a sign of human life. But Charlotte really couldn't find it in herself to move. Others had left long ago, and the sound of a car thrumming into life let her know that Chuck was leaving with the last bunch that cared enough to mourn and to carry on living.

"We should leave soon," Cas muttered.

Charlotte barely looked away from the pyres to look at Cas, a bloodied cut decorating his cheek. "Not yet," she croaked out quietly. She closed her eyes again, willing herself to hold it together, just a little longer. Even Cas had been hurt in the fight and she hated to imagine how bad it really was for the ex-angel.

"Two minutes Cas," Dean agreed by her side and she reached out for his hand, desperate to have something else to ground her to the here and now. She clung to his hand, squeezed it as hard as she could and Dean did the same.

"I'll keep the engine running," Cas mumbled.

Charlotte couldn't help the watery flicker of a smile. Cas. Cas was just so, Cas. Thank God they still had someone left. "We should go," she whispered, hating the way the words formed on her tongue.

"I know," Dean whispered back.

"I don't want to."

"Me neither."

She felt the tears slide down her cheeks and over her chin. Silently she cried. Today, it felt like the world had ended and she really didn't care about trying to fix it. They'd tried so many times and now, she just wanted to let it all end. Let Lucifer have it and let the Croats win.

The sound of growls, echoing in the distance made Dean's hand tighten its hold on hers. "We should go," he whispered and she could feel him looking around them.

Charlotte shook her head. Bobby and Natalie deserved a proper send off, for them to see this through to the end. They deserved that. "Wait."

"Char," he pleaded and she lifted her head to see his own green eyes, tear stained and broken, "we have to go. Now."

Fuck this new world. "Dean-"

He tugged on her hand and she was reluctant to move but she shuffled her feet after him, the sound of crackling fire wood a last reminder to what they were leaving behind. She followed behind him to the only jeep still around, the engine quietly humming away with Cas sat in the driver's seat, his face a mask of serious concern. He shifted when he saw them and they climbed into the back as Cas got the vehicle moving.

Nobody said anything and Charlotte clung to Dean's hand as she listened to the faint sound of growls behind them. It sounded as though they'd had seconds and she took a deep, shaky breath. She'd had a plan for today, a happy plan, something to brighten the day up, make the future look a little better, at least for Dean.

Today was his birthday.

She scoffed. "What?" Dean said.

"Hmm?" she lifted her head in his direction and found him staring at her, his face streaked with dried up tears. "Nothing," she mumbled and she let go of his hand to wipe her own face. They still had people depending on them, people moving on and wanting to survive. The world kept turning after all right? She glanced at the rear view mirror and saw Cas looking worriedly at her and she rolled her eyes before she propped her hand on the door and cradled her chin in her hand. "We still have some alcohol in the stores right?"

Dean snorted, "We better."

"Three bottles of whiskey," Cas added and Charlotte nodded. They could find more some other time. The rest of the journey was rode in silence and Charlotte really wished they had some tapes or CD's, anything to stop her from retreating back into her own mind with dark thoughts about how they were all going to die bloody.

"We need to make a run for more," she mumbled.

"Yeah," Dean agreed in a quiet mutter, "I think there's an old brewery a few towns over. Gates still locked."

"Tomorrow?"

"Sure."

There was no weight behind any of their words and Charlotte felt the numbness was a little more over her. She wanted to drown herself in as much alcohol as she could find, wanted to pass out for days and maybe wake up never.

"Normally I condone the idea of excessive drinking," Cas added from the front seat as he turned the jeep onto the track that led back to their camp. "But in this case I think I'll make an exception."

Dean snorted and Charlotte let a vague smile start on her face. "Come on, Cas," Dean said, "every day is an exception. We might not make it to next year, next month, week, or tomorrow. Live in the here and now and just, do."

"Hear, hear," Charlotte added, already planning to drink one of those bottles herself, maybe grab some of the oxycodone they had lying around. Tonight, she wanted to sink into blissful darkness and forget the day just for a little while.

Nobody said another word as they drove up to the gate to the camp. One of the soldiers on duty, a Jonathan Turner, pulled the gate open and shut it behind them again. Cas killed the engine and Charlotte wiped her face with her hand before she climbed out. The air around the camp was full of tension and she glared around at the various buildings and people milling about. Last night had unsettled everybody and she could feel it press down on her shoulders like a huge weight she couldn't shake and she held back her sigh as she passed a glance with Dean before she bee lined it for their cabin. It sat off to one side of the center of camp and served as the war cabin, for planning and discussing everything important for everybody's survival. She pushed the door open and her eyes snagged on the grey leather jacket on the back of a chair and suddenly felt the world come crashing down on her. That was Natalie's. There was a cabin filled with her stuff that would need clearing out. Bobby's place would need clearing too and she slammed the door behind her, tears starting again in her eyes.

She let out a growl and grabbed the nearest thing to her, a book, and tossed it across the room. It hit the opposite wall with a dull thud but it wasn't enough. Nothing would be enough to quell the anger burning inside of her and she turned, swiping her arms over the counter to shove everything to the floor in a loud clatter. "Please," she whispered, her breaths coming out in ragged pants as she pressed the palms of her hands onto the now empty counter. She scratched at its surface, her arms trembling with the need to do something and she lifted her head up to stare at the ceiling. "If you guys are still listening, if you still give anywhere close to a fucking damn, get down here and fix what you started."

Nothing.

There was always nothing and she kicked at the cupboard in front of her knees with a yell before she slumped to the floor in defeat, all of the energy leaving her. Her hand found its way to her neck and she clutched the ring-War's ring- tightly, grounding herself, trying to reassure herself that they would do this, they would win, with or without the angels. They could do this.

The door to their cabin opened and Dean stepped in only to stop a moment later, his eyes fixed on the same chair Charlotte had seen and she snorted. "Yeah, me too."

His eyes turned to find her on the floor and his expression darkened into a mix of worry, hurt, pain, concern, anger and twenty other emotions Charlotte didn't want to name. He held a bottle out to her and she took it, twisting the cap off to take three deep gulps with a hiss. "Thanks," she mumbled.

He slumped to the floor next to her and started working on his own bottle. "We'll deal with it tomorrow."

Charlotte snorted again and took another swig. "Everything's always tomorrow," she mumbled.

"Shut up," he chided with a tiny flicker of a smile and Charlotte nudged her knee against his.

The door opened again and both parties looked up to see Cas standing there, a grim look on his face as he took in the scene of them both on the floor, one bottle each. "I can go-"

Dean waved him off and patted the floor space next to him. "Join us." After a moment he sighed and Charlotte watched him run a hand over his face before he looked up at Cas with pleading eyes, "Please, Cas, just, stay."

There was a moments hesitation on the angels face before he nodded and closed the door behind him. He grunted as he took the offered seat next to Dean before he took the bottle Dean offered. Charlotte leaned forward to watch him take a hesitant swig with a wince and she smirked before she leaned back against the unit. It still hadn't quite sunk in that Cas was human and the little things reminded her that he was just as vulnerable as them now. She could feel it herself, the way the angels left it took something from her and somehow, she'd gone back to being just human her.

Cas was keeping a brave face and she passed her bottle to him. "Drink up buddy, we're in for a long night." He took it with a minute nod and kept drinking. Charlotte occasionally stole Dean's bottle before she stood up and searched the cluttered counter for the small bottle of oxycodone she'd wanted earlier. She popped the lid, tipped three pills into her hands and passed the bottle to Cas before she sat back down next to Dean and swallowed the pills down with some whiskey.

Dean snatched the bottle from Cas' hands and grabbed himself a couple of pills before he held back out and swallowed his own drugs with a sigh. She really didn't want to see what they looked like to anybody that dared to come in and leaned her head on Dean's shoulder.

This was it. Her, Dean and Cas. They were all that were left of Team Free Will. One ex-angel, one ex-nephilim, and the brother of Lucifer's vessel.