Hi everyone, I don't own any of this blah blah ... you know the story, anyway I haven't been writing much cos I was away but here it is and another one will be coming soon. Thanks to my beta reader JazziePerson and take a look at her Torchwood stories.
Friends - The One with the Eye Patch
(Set around series 3, Chandler is in his flat reading on the arm of a chair when Joey bursts in)
Joey: Kiss me!
(Chandler falls over the back of his chair)
Chandler: (getting up) W-hat!
Joey: I've got an audition for a major play and I need practice, urgently.
Chandler: (retreating) Not on me you don't!
Joey: Come on!
(He walks forward, Chandler throws the book at him then picks up the duck and makes it flap in Joeys face)
Chandler: Attack! Attack the crazy actor!
Joey: I need this part!
Chandler: Kiss the duck.
Joey: But it's got a beak.
Chandler: You're gonna get a fist from me.
Joey: (taking the duck) Okay.
Chandler: You know that can be classed as cruelty to animals.
(Joey lifts the duck to his face)
Chandler: You depress, confuse and disturb me.
Duck: (terrified) Quaaaack!
(Joey leans forward to the duck which promptly pecks him in the eye and he falls backward)
Chandler: I still feel more sorry for the duck.
(The scene changes to all the friends except Joey and Rachel sitting in Monica's living room playing cards)
Phoebe: Four Aces! I win!
Ross: Well done Phebes, but this is snap.
Phoebe: Oh, well this is boring, can we do something else?
Monica: No! I'm winning!
Ross: Only cause you smash peoples hand into the table.
Chandler: Yeah, there's a hand shaped hole in the table where you last smashed me.
Monica: Wuss.
(Ross gets up to put the cards away)
Monica: No! The cards go in the game draw.
Ross: (putting on a dramatic voice) Oh Yes! And if the cards go in the wrong draw, or one mug is a centimetre off its allocated space then the world will descend to chaos and disorder!
Phoebe: That's what we could do! Impressions!
Monica: (vengefully) Ok then, Guess who this is: (she does a slow drawling voice) Hi, I'mmmm o-ver pro-nou-nci-ng e-ver-yyyyyy wwwworddd.
Chandler: I'm no genius, but I'm guessing that's Ross.
Phoebe: Oooh! I have one! (Putting on a sarcastic voice) Could I BE anymore sarcastic?
Ross: Ha!
Chandler: Well if that's the way it is, (High Voice like Phoebe's and flapping his hands) Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! If I stop ooohing I might say something! Oooh!
Phoebe: Okay, that was the worst version of Joey I've ever heard.
Chandler: No Phebes that was y-
Phoebe: No, Joey is more like this. How you doin'!
(Joey walks in holding a newspaper up over his face)
Phoebe: We weren't talking about anyone especially you, I admit nothing!
Chandler: How'd the doctor go?
Joey: (Still holding the newspaper up) I'm gonna be fine, and after giving me a long speech about not messing with poultry he, well –
Ross: What?
Joey: You have to promise you won't laugh.
Chandler: Okay.
(Joey pulls down the paper to reveal an eye patch; all the friends bite their fists to stop laughter)
Joey: Okay, you can laugh a little.
(They all explode with giggles)
Phoebe: Arr! Joey, come aboard the good ship sofa!
Monica: Wow Joey, spray paint the duck and you can have a parrot.
Joey: Enough with the pirate jokes.
Chandler: Or what? We'll end up in Davey Jones locker!
(Rachel walks in, looks at Joey looks as if she's about to say something and then just giggles and sits down)
Monica: Joey, did you get the movie tickets for us all?
Joey: Yeah.
Chandler: Did you pay in doubloons?
Ross: We should probably go.
Phoebe Yeah, should I get the cab or will Joey take us in his boat?
