"Those days are gone, and good fucking riddance to them; unhappiness really meant something back then. Now it's just a drag, like a cold or having no money. If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have got to me earlier."

Nick Hornby

The Getaway to Nowhere

Story prompt from: osteffel

Main Characters: Jace Herondale, Clarissa Fairchild, Clary Fray, and Magnus Bane

Length: Undecided

[Prologue]

He knew Alec would disagree completely but he didn't care honestly. It wasn't any of his business. It would just be between himself if the plan worked. A lit fire burst in his chest and he pushed it aside carelessly, quickly posting something on his facebook page and sharing it to others. "There." He mumbled to himself, slouching lazily on his couch. The house was empty and he hated being alone though he would never admit that. He clenched his fists together and shut his eyelids tightly. She left him. That would stay with him forever. A girl he actually loved for once in his entire twenty four year life left him. For what, he did not understand.

Jace tugged at the paper in his pocket and felt its familiar texture against his skin. Her handwriting was small and in cursive with red pen. He brought his finger to touch the words as if he was touching her. It read:

I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the months that will follow this. And I'm sorry for the pain you will feel. Hopefully it will mend. I can only pray. I won't give you much of a reason. You do not seem to understand anyway. It's not another man, I can assure you that. I promise you that. I just don't want to marry, to settle even. I love you and I'm not lying when I say this.

It's hard to explain. It's hard to write this with tears dripping down my cheeks. It's hard, Jace. I really mean it. Ever since I was a child, I was given examples on why not to marry anyone. My father beat my mother ruthlessly. I already told you that on our sixth date. Do you remember? All those times he slapped her and pulled at her hair, something grew inside me and unconsciously, I started avoiding love and anything that could ruin my life. You were one of them.

You are nothing like my father. You are intelligent. Dark. Caring in subtle ways. And compassionate with everything you hold. I couldn't stay away from you. Not even for a moment. I broke rules for you. Snuck out of the house at midnight. Just to see your face. Your stupid grin. God, I love seeing you smile.

Then you proposed and I couldn't say no because that would break you. You were already broken. I said yes. I planned to tell you that I did not want to marry recently after but my feelings got the better of me. It was the worst timing. I had to do it though. Even if it was a month before the wedding. Better not at the altar. I'm sorry.

I will apologize my whole life for this. Every moment, I'll remember the man I gave up. The man who held my dreams and my heart in his hands. I don't regret rejecting you. I'm seeing a therapist. She tells me there is something wrong with the way my mind functions, like I have a block. And that I have to remove that obstacle. I don't know why I'm telling you this. Do you even care anymore?

With all my heart, I love you Jace. Like the sun, I yearn for the moon to come. Forgive me for stabbing you. Forgive me for watching you bleed as I lay untouched. My act was cruel. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you but I don't wish to see you again.

Eternally shattered,
Clarissa Fairchild

He blinked his eyes and sucked in a breath. He didn't hate her. He would never hate her. He still loved her, no matter what she did. She was still the light in his darkest nights. Placing the sheet onto the table his feet were lounging on, Jace rose from the comfort of his sofa and headed to his room. Or rather, their room. Not anymore anyway. He stared at the spot where she slept and the spot he held her when she cried.

He shook his head at himself and then grabbed the envelope on his almost empty desk. Two tickets were inside. Two weeks on the Royal cruise from Hawaii to scattered parts of Europe. It was supposed to be for their honeymoon. He contemplated his plan. It was sort of ridiculous. But it was his idea and his ideas were usually reckless. Somehow, they worked. He just needed some sort of comfort. Some sort of reassurance for those fourteen days. Time off. A long time off.

Pursing his lips until it started to hurt, Jace waited for any messages to come, his hope drastically falling.