So I came up with this new story. It will probably have three chapters in the end. And it's got subjects like abuse, suicide and sex. So… I rated it M. Yep! So… if you don't like it, or you're just not old enough. Don't read it. Thank you.
This story is AU, and Finn is seven, Kurt is eight. They do not have the same birthdays as in the series. And Elizabeth Hummel died when Kurt was five. Christopher Hudson however, is still alive.
"Please Chris."
I tried, I really tried. But the harm was done and my husband was angry with me again. Now, once again I was on the kitchen floor and Christopher was on top of me. Taking one after another blow and doing the most harm that he possibly could.
I could smell the alcohol on his breath and tried to protect my head with my arms knowing that in this state he wouldn't care about what he did and what harm he made. I knew it, because it had happened so many times before. And he had since long stopped promising me after every time it happen that it would never happen ever again.
Then suddenly it stopped and I breathed out but waited another minute or two until I lowered my arms and rolled over onto my back to face Chris before I could sit up and then stand up on shaky legs. Christopher was standing a couple of meters away from me, in the other end of our small kitchen with his arms crossed over his chest and an almost evil look in his glare and crooked smile.
Our house- mine, my husband Christopher's, and also our son- seven year old Finn's. Well… let's just say it was the tiniest house on the block. It was a small building with a small yard squeezed into two more normal- sized yards and houses, but it had a tiny hallway. Leading into either a tiny bathroom, a tiny kitchen or a tiny living room. Then in the kitchen there were two other doors, a tiny bedroom that barely fitted my and Christopher's bed and then a normal- sized storage room that we had made into a tiny bedroom for Finn.
Because of everything being so close it was very easy to hear what people were doing in the other rooms, and it broke my heart to know that even if his door was locked and he was as usual crouched in a corner with his arms over his head and ears and crying begging for it all to stop he could hear every single thing of what his father did to me and he wished that he could make it all stop. Having him so close also meant that I and Christopher could hear his soft, quiet sobbing on the other side of the thin wall and Christopher glanced to the door to Finn's room and I knew that everything would get worse.
"Quite annoying that kid, isn't he?" Christopher's voice had gone so low and mumbling Finn wouldn't be able to hear what he said. "Maybe I should teach him too a lesson." He pulled up his sleeve to his elbows and started to turn towards Finn's room but I quickly gathered all of my courage- which with years and years after living with Christopher wasn't much, but it didn't take much to protect my Finn.
"No! Christopher." I managed to get in front of him before he had reached the door. "Not Finn. Not Finn." Christopher tried to get past me but I pushed him away. "The moment you touch Finn you'll have lost both me and him, and I will make sure we are both out of here before tomorrow and you will never see us again. Is that understood?" Christopher hesitated. "Do to me whatever you want to do to him. But don't you dare as much as lay a finger on my son. Because then we will both be gone and that's not a threat, that's a promise."
My husband chuckled, but it was cold, and it made shivers go through my spine in fear of what was to come next. "You're sweet!" He stated."…The way you're protecting him at all times. Too bad…" He fingered with his sleeve. "…Too bad you're too protective to know your own good."
I could sense the blow coming before I could see him pulling his arm backwards and felt his hand collide with my jaw. But still I couldn't have been less ready for it and once again I was thrown down onto the floor and had Christopher over me unable to protect neither Finn nor myself when Christopher grabbed my shirt and hit me downwards towards the floor.
With the power he pushed me down every time there wasn't a chance for me to hold my head up. And with every time he quickly pulled me up towards him and then pushed me down hard onto the floor again the back of my head hit backwards against the hard floor and for every time he did it I could feel myself drifting further and further away from consciousness until I at last had drifted off and let myself be embraced by a silent, painless darkness.
"Mummy?" When I was drifting back into consciousness the first thing I was aware of was Finn's voice calling out for me. "Mummy, please wake up." I tried to move, my whole body was hurting. My head throbbed and even with my eyes closed I could feel I was dizzy as if my eyes now my whole world would be spinning around.
But despite the pain I could still move every arm and leg. I could turn my head and I slightly pushed myself up and then spent most part of half an hour lying with my head on Finn's lap and tried to regain consciousness and full ability to move until I could at a somewhat normal pace sit up again and looked at Finn only to find that one of my worst fears had finally come true.
Finn had a bruised eyebrow, it was bleeding quite a lot and he kept on wiping it off with his sleeve. For so long I had been so afraid of Christopher and what he could and would do. But as I saw that he had done it to Finn the fear disappeared and was replaced by anger- no, not anger. I was furious. How dared he touch my little boy?
And so I remembered the promise I had made to myself just as well as I had spoken it to Christopher. If he as much as touched my son we would be gone. And right away I forced myself to forget about the throbbing in my head, the nausea and the dizziness and forced myself onto my feet and focused on the clock.
"Finn… you know every evening at half past seven we can hear a train leave in the station only one block away from here?" Finn nodded. "Okay, we're going to take it. Where is your dad?"
"Bar." Finn's voice was quiet, light and he spoke while once again pulling his sleeve over his eyebrow to wipe the blood and keep it from getting in his eyes. "He left just while you were asleep. But we can't leave. Dad only hit me once, and he said I would be right here when he comes back and he need to finish what he started. I deserved it I was bad!"
I had to bite my lip hard so I wouldn't have left Finn with around fifteen new bad words to use, and hurried as well as I could out in the hallway and grabbed my backpack and Finn's school bag. I handed Finn's to himself and told him to pack the most important things while I took my backpack and went into my room. And with the twenty minutes I had to pack and get myself ready I was packing and trying to put makeup on so the bruises wouldn't show to everybody in this town of Toledo.
I didn't succeed very well and at last grabbed my biggest and slouchiest hoodie I could find in my wardrobe and pulled the hood up and as far over my head and to cover my face as it possibly could and then made my way out to Finn's room while pushing down a couple of apples and a box of raisins along with a few chocolate bars into my own backpack and found Finn standing in his room with his backpack hanging on his back done and everything, he had a baseball cap pulled over his head and far down enough for it to cover his eyebrow and didn't notice me because he stood looking down at the football he held in his hands.
"You can bring that one Finn." I had to stop talking and grab onto the door frame when what must have been the millionth dizziness spell hit me and I needed to make sure I wouldn't fall and didn't open my eyes until I was a hundred and fourteen percent sure it had stopped. "But we need to go now. Come on." I kneeled and pulled up the zipper of his fleece shirt. "Come on now." I took his hand and ran as good as I could out the door and down the road.
The bar that Christopher used to go to- Car's bar was only half a block away from ours and we had to walk by it on the way running to the train station and even though I should probably have just ran past it I turned my head and looked through the window to check if I could see him.
I could, he was sitting with his side turned to us talking and gesturing and the ones around were laughing. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, only that his friends were the biggest and worst jerks I had ever met so he was probably bragging about how he had beat me unconscious and then caused his son to bleed.
"Come on" I grabbed Finn tighter by the hand and walked faster down the road, we could see the train now, but it was just about to leave. And I tried to walk faster, faster, faster. When something went horribly wrong.
"Hey, what are you doing?" I recognized the voice too well, but still turned around to see that Christopher had come out of the bar and out on the street. "Come back here." I grabbed Finn by the hand just as Christopher started running as good as she could in his drunken state.
"RUN" I forced myself to run towards the train, it was only these street left but the train was just about to leave and even running as fast as I could with Finn running with me hand in hand and ran over the platform just as the train whistled and the doors were closing, jumping in in the very last second before they were at last all closed and Christopher came running up at the platform just as the train left and I could see him swearing and running after trying to stop the train and I prayed to God he wouldn't be able to.
At last- after what felt like forever the train was reaching its full speed and I couldn't even see Christopher anymore. For the moment I let go of the fact that we didn't even have tickets and got into the wagon and slumped down into an empty seat with another empty seat right by it where Finn sat down and I hugged him tightly and leaned my throbbing head against his shoulder and closed my eyes so the spinning wouldn't make me throw up.
"Mum" Finn's voice sounded weak and worried and he stroke my hair. "Mum are you okay?" I nodded carefully against his shoulder and turned my head so at least if I got sick I wouldn't get it right in his face. "You don't look okay. Mum… Here comes the conductor and we haven't got any tickets." He whispered that last so only I would hear it and I forced myself to sit up and open my eyes to see a young, brown- haired man possibly in his mid- twenties look down on me with his equipment in his hands, frowning as everything he must have been able to see through the hole in the hoodie was bruised and swollen and Finn had a blood stain soaking through the back of his peaked cap that he had put back and forth to look cool like the 'cool guys' at his school.
I felt through my pockets and my bag, not a penny. Just barely enough to maybe buy Finn a meal as soon as we got off the train but I needed that and I didn't know how to express myself when I looked back up at the man who was still frowning, and suddenly disappeared.
"Come with me." He came back after it seemed he had checked something. "I'll put you somewhere private. We've got an empty coupé." Without neither me nor Finn having had the time to protest he showed us to a small, private coupé in the bottom of the wagon. "So, you just stay here and don't talk to any staff and do not move or get off the train until I come back okay?" I nodded and seemed like I agreed even if I wasn't too sure about what to do now- and certainly not about what to do in a minute and the conductor started backing towards the door. "I'm Cam by the way."
I knew I couldn't tell him our actual names, if he would tell someone else, who told someone else, who told someone else… Well, it would end up with Christopher finding us way too fast and I quickly brainstormed for fake names to use.
"I'm Lisa Gabriel, and this is my son- Roger Gabriel." Cam didn't look as if he believed us, but he turned around and left the coupé and went out of our sight. After he had gone I quickly got up, locked the doors and pulled the curtains over the windows before I slumped down onto the seat closest to the door again and leaned against Finn.
"Roger mum? Seriously, there's like no names that are worse than the one I actually have and yet you found one!" He glared at me, but I knew him and his glares and knew that he wasn't angry with me for real and I crouched, lied down over two seats and put my head in Finn's lap and tried to ignore the throbbing and the urge to just fall asleep.
I knew I had a concussion, a pretty bad one if I wasn't wrong. And as a nurse, even though unemployed nurse I knew that falling asleep with a concussion could be fatal so I forced my eyes open and tried to plan on what to do next.
"Mum look! We can see the moon. Can't you tell me that story about flying to the moon once again? Please? I love that story." I sighed and shook my head. "But please mummy, I like that story really much. And I want to pretend as if we're flying to the moon… I want to fly to the moon for real. Dad couldn't find us there. Could he?" I sat up and rubbed his cheek and shook my head, I was meaning to say something. Promise him that Christopher wouldn't be able to find us wherever we went either. But I couldn't, I knew he always found us somehow, and I couldn't tell him I wanted to go to the moon where he couldn't find us. But I couldn't tell Finn that, and leaned my head against his shoulder again and looked out the window and saw the moon I too while also wishing that we could have gone there and never gone back again.
"Come on." A bit more than an hour after we had gotten on the train it was finally announced that we would be stopping soon- in the town of Lima and I had made up my mind that the next time we stopped we would get off as fast as possible and I handed Finn his fleece shirt and gloves. "We're getting off here in Lima." Finn looked confused. "I know that Cam told us to stay until he came back but we can't trust anybody okay? We just need to get off and find someone or somewhere. I'm not so sure what we're looking for." The last sentence I whispered under my breath so Finn wouldn't hear and walked out in the hallway and stood by the door when the train slowed down and was the first one to almost jump down onto the platform and pulled Finn after me.
I lost the count of time as we were walking around the roads and blocks of the town of Lima. Finn was walking slightly after me this time- even though we both knew he could have put on a tiny bit of length in his steps and he would be a bit in front of me instead. And after what felt like walking through a hundred years, but probably was around a couple of hours and it started getting close to midnight, suddenly Finn put his backpack down onto the ground and sat down on it.
"Finn." My voice sounded more moaning than what I had planned. "Please, come on. We'll find something soon." Finn shook his head and hugged his knees. "Please Finn. We need to get somewhere Christopher couldn't find us…" Finn only glared at me, and this time it was for real. "Finn please. This isn't fun for me either. I've been nauseas and dizzy all evening and my head is throbbing so bad I'm not sure I can keep from throwing up much longer. I know you're in pain too and that your forehead won't stop bleeding but I need you to go with me okay? Please honey." I took his hands in mine. "Just this time. For me?"
Finn looked sadly up at me, and then stood up and lifted his backpack and threw it over one shoulder and continued following me until we could see the sign of 'Lima memorial hospital' and I was on my way to keep on walking when Finn stopped and pulled my hand. I knew right away what he wanted, and I wasn't too sure what to say about it. But whatever it was I was going to say Finn spoke before me.
"Mum, you're hurt. You need a doctor. The hospital is right over there and I'm sure someone there will be able to help us. Please mum. My hands are cold and my feet hurt. Please, we can't just walk around the whole night." I kneeled to reach his height, pulled the baseball cap off him and stroke the fringe away from his forehead to see the bruising.
"This needs stitches." I said. "You fell down the stairs and right into a wall. I got hurt trying to catch you. That's our story okay?" Finn sighed, but nodded. "And we couldn't get to the hospital sooner because we live out on the country side and I don't have my own car so we had to wait for your dad to come home with his but he was with his mum who is ill and have got cancer. Our names are Lisa and Roger Gabriel okay?" Finn nodded. "Then come on." I pulled my own mittens off and pulled them over Finn's gloves. Then I stood up and took him by the hand and walked down the road to the hospital, and coming in the heat hit me like a wall and I finally stopped shivering cold.
"Excuse me." I went over to the desk still holding onto Finn's hand and hoping that the nausea that had been getting worse again wouldn't make me throw up right on the desk. "My son has a cut caused by some bruising. I think he needs stitches." The receptionist didn't even look at me before she handed me a paper, a board and a pen.
"Fill this up, hand it in and sit and wait." I wanted to say something more, but knew these systems so I did as I was told and slumped down on the chair in the waiting room in the same moment as I felt the nausea that had been bugging me all night hit me with full power. And still, even though I knew I was going to get sick I tried to take deep breaths to prevent it, but Finn noticed and broke my concentration.
"Mum, what's wrong?" I hunched forward and threw up. "Okay. That's wrong. It's okay." Finn patted my back like I usually did when he was getting sick. I threw up again and Finn continued to rub my back. I was barely aware of the fact that an elder man that sat next to me moved away with a disgusted look on his face and someone shouted for a 'Hummel' right before a man in scrubs- pants and a flannel shirt came running with a basin that he held under my chin.
"I am so, so sorry." I panted when I could finally catch my breath and stop throwing up. The man that had come running with the basin took me under the arm and pulled me away through the hallway and into an examine room where he gently pushed me down onto a bunk and Finn crawled up right next to me and took my hand.
"That's okay. Happens all the time." The man said and took a thermometer. "Sorry, I have to check your temp… erature." He had pushed the hood off my head and even though I had been doing my best with the makeup and tried to cover as well as I could with my hands he seemed chocked of what he saw. "Oh dear…. Ma'am. I'm going to ask you a question, I know you don't want to answer it but if you did I could help you. Who did this to you?"
It certainly wasn't the first time someone had asked me that question. No matter the fact that everybody already knew- and so did this man. Even though Finn pulled the story I had made up that he had fallen down the stairs and I had tried to catch him- which I had ended up doing with my face and was pushed- head first into the wall backwards.
"So…" I could see the man whose name tag I couldn't read since I was still so dizzy my vision had gotten blurry. "…How come you haven't got more bruises and such if you fell down a whole set of stairs." Finn pulled of his fleece shirt and showed his arms- like any young boy's they were full of bruises and cuts from playing football and soccer and basketball and any other sport the human kind had come up with.
The man still didn't believe our story I could tell, but his expression softened a bit while he seemed to wonder about what to ask next while I and Finn looked to each other. Finn pulled up his Gameboy of his backpack and put it on, and left me to talk to the man.
"So how come you waited six hours to go to the hospital?"
"My husband was working late. Very late, and I don't have my own car so we needed to wait until he came home with the car to go."
"And you drove like this… Or where is your husband? Look sweetheart… I've got a son- his name is Kurt. And I think he's about the same age as this young man. I'd do anything for him to stay safe. I know what it's like to be a parent. And you guys look so much alike I know you are his mum. And I know that you'd do anything or him to be safe. And the thing is, if you don't tell someone the truth about how this happened, and get away from him. Then he will keep on doing it, and none of you will be safe. I know you don't want to hear this but… It's the truth."
I felt sick again- for another reason than before right now. But I couldn't throw up again… God knows how long it was since I had eaten and… God I just couldn't!
"I'm Burt by the way… Burt Hummel. What are your names?"
"I'm Lisa Ga…"
"I'm Finn." In the middle of my lie Finn looked up from his Gameboy that he had seemed all concentrated on but I now realized it wasn't even on. "Finn Hudson. My mum's name is Carole Hudson. My dad did this to us." Finn bit his lip. "But please no police." Finn turned his Gameboy on and turned his concentration to it while I wasn't so sure what to say or what to think.
"Wait here." Burt left the room and left us and Finn alone. I pulled the Gameboy from Finn's hands and looked him sternly in the eyes. But as I saw his tired, miserable expression I felt the- pretended and forced anger only run off and I hugged him tightly and didn't let go.
"I'm sorry mum. If you want to keep me safe like that Burt said. Then what I want is to keep you safe. And if none of us can be safe then we'll never be happy, you and I. I'm sorry. I know I should have been sticking to the story but I…" Finn's eyes filled with tears and I held him tightly while shushing gently. "I couldn't lie anymore mummy."
"Sch, sch, sch." I shushed once again and hugged Finn as tightly as I possibly could. "It's okay. You only had the bravery to do what I couldn't." I tenderly played with his hair. "I'm proud of you honey. I love you very much." Finn wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me back tightly.
"I love you very much too mummy. Can you tell me the story about flying to the moon now?"
"Of course sweetie." I took a deep breath, and then started telling my son the story about what happened on the moon, and what would happen if we flew there and became a part of it all
Okay, that's it for a first chapter. That Finn just suddenly tells everything might seem a bit unrealistic but thinking about that he wants to keep his mum safe I guess it's okay anyway. I hope you liked it.
There is a polyvore- edit made for this story. You'll find my polyvore if you press the link on my profile that reads 'Linneagbffn'
Random fact
When I thought about the idea to this story it was early morning and I was somewhere in between asleep and awake. Ha! I should be somewhere in between asleep and awake a bit more often, shouldn't I? And an extra- I was thinking about the title, and had the idea to 'fly me to the moon' when I was on YouTube and watching a series I used to watch as a kid and they were doing the song. It is a really good series!
