It was a sunny day the car was warm and the air filled with laughter. I look over at him he's beautiful.
"Hey, Gilbert are you going to tell me where we are going." I ask again for probably the millionth time. My boyfriend just blushed before replying.
"Birdie, if I told you it would ruin the surprise, trust me you'll love it." At the time I smiled and took his hand in my own. Now it's different. That afternoon he had proposed on the beach, we both hated the beach. His goal was to change each others opinion on it. I still hate the beach though.
I awake to a cool morning and an empty bed, sighing softly I slowly get up to make myself a cup of coffee, it feels like I'll need a pot of coffee. Following at my heels was a giant puffball dog that only really wanted food, and attention, Kumajiro. In our small living room Gilbird was stirring, why Gil had named the yellow parakeet after himself is beyond. I'm also pretty sure it's a girl, snorting softly remembering the debate we had on the birds gender, it was the biggest argument we've had.
Once in the kitchen, I go through my early morning routine first feeding Kuma, then starting off coffee and walking over to Gilbird's cage to let him out and fly around. The bird immediately flew to me and nestled in my hair bringing another soft smile to my face, my thoughts again drifting my fiance and his obnoxious laugh. Hearing the coffee machine start running brought my attention back to the real world. I rush into the kitchen slide on my socks to the cupboard full mugs I had limited time to grab one and put in under the machine before it started pouring hot coffee all over my kitchen floors. After a near death encounter from slipping on my socks, I had successfully made a cup of coffee with minimal spills. I calmly walk over to the other side of the counter slightly panting from the recent coffee fiasco.
A bunch of missed calls from my brother Al, nothing from Gil. We haven't talked since before he left for a business trip, north of here, a few days ago. I considered calling him again I know he won't answer but I miss him everything about him, especially his voice. Hell just hearing his stupid voicemail is good enough. So I call him after numerous rings I hear his voice. "Hey, it's me Gilbert anyways I can't make it to my phone at the moment so leave a message at the beep. Oh and if this is Mattie remember I love you byeee." I chuckle, Dieu, I love that idiot.
"Hey Pooh bear, it's me Matt I just wanted to know how you're doing up there, I hope you still need me. I need you. Je'taime Gil, answer if you can." I reply after the beep smiling, and blushing like a teenage girl, i miss him so much.
There's a knock my heart jumps maybe it's him, though a little voice in my head says it's not. I skip to the door either way happily opening to see Alfred. My expression drops instantly, he's still worried about I can handle being alone. To my dismay he notices the mood drop and sighs. The next thing he does surprises me. He hugs me.
"Mattie, he's not coming back you know that just as well as I do." Why does he always have to say such things. I shove him off me tears starting to gently fall from eyes.
"No, he has too, he promised he would. You don't understand Al." Now tears are cascading as every emotion I had felt in the last two days explodes inside me. He reaches towards me to try and comfort me again. "No, get away from me he loves me. He has to come back!" I shout out him backing out of his grip my eyes are starting to get puffy.
"Mattie, please let me help you I know this is hard I-"
"-No! You don't! You never liked Gil you're probably happy he was in a crash and died!" He froze and so did I, it was the first time I admitted his death outloud. Saying it made it so much more real. Gil will never come back I'm alone I'll always be alone. As it dawned on me I slowly sink to the ground pulling my knees close. I just wanted to hide from the rest of the world. Why did everything have to be so cruel. I felt arms wrap around me as Alfred hugged me again this time I don't pull away. I continue to sob into my legs.
"Matt, Gilbert loves you. He's in another place but, he still loves you. Now," he said standing up,"I'll make pancakes and help you."
