"Play That Music"

A Harry Potter fan fiction by Crystal 4 SnapeMarauders

Written in support of the Severus Snape and the Marauders Kickstarter campaign.

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. The only profit sought is a smile on your face. Gratitude to Trey, Nikki, and John for preliminary feedback.

Prompt: The story has to be about why the Marauders almost missed their own graduation ceremony at Hogwarts.


How odd that Potter and his friends haven't shown.

It was the End of Term Feast and the Great Hall was decorated in banners of red and gold, celebrating Gryffindor winning that year's House Cup. Every student was in their traditional black robes, complete with pointed black caps on their heads. This included Severus Snape, who sat amongst his housemates.

Lily Evans sat at the Gryffindor table with only her fellow 7th year girls keeping her company. Severus would have thought that Potter would have been by her side for the feast out of affection, if obviously not out of duty as Head Boy and Girl. No, Potter was off with his moronic friends, leaving Lily to represent the student body. Severus's upper lip curled as he glared down at the food on his fork. If he had been Head Boy, he would not have left Lily in the lurch, regardless of their relationship status.

"If you're thinking about Potter and Black," Avery said to his right, "I wouldn't be too worried they aren't here."

"Oh?" Severus leaned back to look at Avery. The young man was tall and thickset. He considered himself intelligent, but Severus often saw reason to think otherwise.

Avery nodded. "You see, Black and I had a bit of a talk yesterday."

"What exactly do you mean?" Severus hissed at his friend, unpleasant suspicion forming.

"Sirius Black is from an ancient pureblood family. He gets a last chance."

"I'm sure he threw it in your face. It was foolish on your part."

Avery smiled and shrugged, returning to his dinner. "I'm not so sure. After all, he and Potter aren't here, are they?"

"Don't tell me you made an offer to Potter, too." Severus flicked some lint off his robes.

"No. Potter will remain the blood traitor that he is. However I am sure that he wouldn't take too kindly to Black's current opportunity."

Severus looked sideways at Avery. "Black will not change loyalties."

"We have his younger brother on our side. Unlike Potter, Black still has family. Blood isn't so unimportant that he would turn his back on his sibling, especially if we were to do a little persuading. Black was receptive to what I had to say. I knew the right buttons to push."

"Potter is his brother, not Regulus," Severus sipped his drink, getting bored with the conversation.

"Not just Regulus. He might not see them as weeds threatening to choke the life out of our kind, but I don't think Black really believes that Muggles have anything to offer the wizarding world. He tolerates them like amusing pets."

Severus let out a short, sharp laugh. "Other than Potter, everyone is an amusing pet to Black."

"Even you?" Avery said quietly, smiling into his drink. Severus refused to rise to the bait.

While the mumbling and shuffling were the normal background noise that generally filtered out during meal times, its sudden removal caused more than a few heads to raise, wondering at the unexpected silence. The rest of the students came to alert when music started, a repetitive nine-note guitar riff sounding loudly throughout the Hall.

"What…" Avery looked around.

It wasn't long before the Marauders were spotted on top of the end of the Gryffindor table, Sirius Black front and center with an arm pointed straight up in the air. "Heeey, do it now!"

In sharp contrast to the dark-clad student body around them, the four Gryffindors were decked in Muggle clothing, strutting in time in their flare pants. Potter's three-piece suit was an alarmingly bright Gryffindor red. Pettigrew wore elevator boots and Black was sporting a black afro.

"Yeah, hey!"

The first reaction amongst the tables was startled befuddlement. No one moved to so much as finish chewing the food in their mouths as Black began lip-syncing and dancing his way further into the Great Hall, leading the rest of the Marauders across the table. A few winks at housemates, and the reaction became applause and cat calls.

"I decided quickly…Yes, I did."

The magic started on the chorus when all Marauders lip-synced, doing the hustle. "Yeah, they were dancin'... and singin'…" The Head Boy pulled the Head Girl up onto the table, and all the 7th years climbed on, sparks coming from wands.

At the staff table, Professor Dumbledore stood up, and Severus knew he wasn't going to stop it. The headmaster's wand rose upward and suddenly in the dimmer light there were disco balls shining over the Great Hall.

Beside him Avery made a choking noise, and the cheers and catcalls spread to the other House tables. Over a hundred dull black caps were thrown off. Gryffindors of all years were climbing onto the table now, regardless of the food and dishes. Fists pumped; fingers snapped; hips swayed; thumbs tucked into imaginary front belt loops.

It was the grossest declaration of Muggle-love the Great Hall had ever seen.

Severus noticed the very moment Black turned toward Avery and the Slytherin table, chin up. "Lay down the boogie and play that funky music 'til you die." With a dance swivel on his heel, Black turned his back on them.

Severus glanced over at his friend. "Problem? Surely you didn't get your hopes up that you'd be bringing the Dark Lord another pureblood?"

Mulciber, on the other side of Avery, joined the conversation, raising his voice to be heard over the celebratory cacophony. "I used to think Black was wasted potential. Now I see he never would have been worth anything at all."

The majority of those in the Great Hall seemed to disagree with this statement. The song's chorus had a fully present accompaniment as several voices sung aloud, "Yeah, they were dancin' and singin' and movin' to the groovin'!"

The moment Potter started playing air-guitar, Severus was completely done. He rose to join the other departing Slytherins. Avery, however, remained seated, arms crossed and watching.

Those fools don't even realize that they're putting targets on anyone who's participating in this.

As he made his way around the door Severus had to swing his torso to avoid being hit with one of the Cheering Charms Remus Lupin had been sending out into the crowd. It hit a fifth year Hufflepuff who was already in tears of hysterics from laughing so hard. She gave an orgasmic cry and collapsed. Severus stepped over her and walked out of the Great Hall, casting Lupin a look that said he'd willingly strangle the lot of them by their pointed long collars.

~~break~~

"What were you thinking?" Regulus stood up from where was sitting on the grass at Sirius's approach. Once, in Sirius's sixth year, he and his brother had come upon each other around the corner of the greenhouses. It was the first time they'd been face to face since Sirius had moved out. Neither one of them had really said anything to the other, just made eye contact and moved on. But it would happen that from time to time, they'd both end up in this spot and acknowledge each other silently. The first time either of them had spoken was when Regulus wanted to let Sirius know that their mother had taken ill and was at St. Mungo's being treated for Scrofungulus. Sirius's reaction had not been what his brother hoped for and it was months until they met on the corner of the greenhouses again.

The graduation ceremony was in an hour, and Sirius had known there was a good chance his brother would be here right now.

"Celebrating the Gryffindor House Cup, of course," he answered, crossing his arms and raising his brows at his younger brother.

"Don't treat me like a fool!"

"You are being foolish, letting those guys influence you. Regulus, you need to wake up and see that they are just manipulating you. Get out before you get hurt."

"How prophetic, Black," Avery said, coming around the corner. Wilkes and Mulciber were both with him. "But you seem to have mistaken just for whom you need to be worrying."

Sirius had his wand out before Avery was finished speaking. He wished he could say he was surprised, but there wasn't anything there.

"I'm sorry, Sirius."

Sirius didn't bother looking at his brother, but kept his gaze on the three older Slytherins with their wands pointed at him. "Get out of here, Regulus. Let the big boys play."

Regulus shook his head and walked away. "You brought this on yourself."

"Did you think you could get away with pulling a stunt like that?" Mulciber asked Sirius.

He tilted his head as though considering. "Well, actually I thought—" and Sirius cast the first hex.

The distraction worked for a brief instant, but Wilkes and Mulciber advanced while Avery belatedly cast a shield.

Sirius was quicker, and managed to block both spells. Using a trick that he would never admit aloud he'd learned from Snivellus, Sirius swept his arm in a low arch. The spell caught both sets of legs before him. Wilkes, then Mulciber, lost balance and fell as their knees switched from front to back.

They managed to keep hold of their wands, however.

The triple blast from all three Slytherins sent Sirius off his feet, and he landed on his back. His wand fell out of his hand as he hit the ground, and it was kicked it away from him. Sirius looked up at Wilkes in surprise.

"I've had that hex used on me before." Wilkes smirked, and then wobbled when Avery fixed him.

"Hold him," Avery ordered.

Wilkes and Mulciber grabbed hold of his arms and yanked them up and back, forcing his head forward and trapping him in place. Sirius let out a pained grunting noise.

"Now that," Avery said, smirking and coming to stand directly in front of him, "is the kind of music I like to hear. However, now that you are without your wand…" Slowly, Avery stowed his own wand and then very deliberately cracked his knuckles. "We can do a few things without magic, you know."

Sirius couldn't help it. The grandstanding just made him laugh, despite knowing what would come next. And when the air went out of his lungs from Avery's fist slamming into his stomach, Sirius took a single gasping breath and just kept laughing. Even more rapid, alternating blows to his stomach and face didn't keep his vocal mirth at bay.

"Stop laughing!" Avery shouted, the fist in the face making Sirius's head whip to the side.

Spitting blood out, Sirius looked up and wheezed, "What can I say? You guys got me seeing stars." And he gave a fairly lousy and choked howl.

"Levicorpus!" came a familiar, shouting voice, and Avery was yanked up into the air by his heel.

Mulciber and Wilkes fell backward, taking Sirius with them as they still had hold of his arms. Off-kilter, Sirius struggled to release himself from the two tied-up Slytherins; Lupin and Pettigrew ran up to help.

"You alright?" Peter asked. Sirius nodded. He could feel the swelling begin under his right eye.

"Rather unsporting of you to attack an unarmed man, Potter," Avery said, coming back to the ground with his wand out.

"You're one to talk. Three against one!" James kept his wand up.

"Black needed the lesson."

Mulciber and Wilkes managed to free themselves and stood, though held at wand-point by Remus and Peter.

"Oh, are you a teacher now, Avery? Is that your grand plan for after you cross the lake—going to apply to Dumbledore to become the next DADA professor?" James pushed his glasses up on his nose and sneered. "You probably should. It would be a far better life than what you're actually planning. You do know that you three are on the wrong side of this war."

"Centuries of tradition say otherwise, and there's never been anyone so powerful to rally behind. There's a divine reason for that. Are you so sure, Potter, that you're not on the losing side?"

James paused, and then said. "Alright, Avery, I'll show you how sure I am. Remus." He tossed his wand at his friend.

Remus startled, but caught it. "James…"

Avery's eyes widened slightly, and his grip on his wand tightened, but only for a moment. "Fine." Likewise tossing his wand aside, he smirked. "I'm twice your size, Potter."

"But I doubt as fast." And the first punch was thrown.

Agility was on James's side. He circled and ducked when Avery twice tried to throw a return punch. But he wasn't prepared for the knee to the gut. Doubled over, James had his head grabbed and then slammed against the top of Avery's knee.

"Hey!" Sirius shouted, running forward to tackle Avery.

"Don't!" Remus warned, but it was too late. Wilkes had rushed in to intercept Sirius, and Remus was soon blocking a rush from Mulciber.

The duet of sound that came from Avery and Sirius when Wilkes knocked into them both was an accidental harmony. Percussion was deliberate—knuckles hitting soft skin over muscle, feet stumbling across the ground. The greenhouse lawn carried an inconsistent melody made up of grunts of pain, panting exertion, and wheezes of expelling air. Clothing ripped and blood spilled as the seven brawlers did their best to overcome the other, none really knowing how to fistfight.

Remus and Mulciber were fairly evenly matched in size and weight. Remus, however, had the advantage of his body remembering what his mind had forgotten. It had fought against others before and did not give up easily.

James and Sirius shared this advantage, though their memories were of being on four legs, instead of two. Together they fought the brawny Avery, synchronizing their movements as all three pushed, punched and kicked. Not fully recovered from the beating he'd just taken, Sirius fought purely on instinct and trust in James.

Wilkes was trying to throw Peter off his back, and his voice hit a high, inarticulate note when Peter bit him.

"IMMOBULUS!"

The loudly-shouted spell froze all seven of them where they were. The effect was more permanent on non-human living targets, but it was enough for Lily. She cast spells physically separating the brawlers beyond each other's reach before they either shook the spell off or it dissipated on its own.

"I am ashamed of all of you! Our graduation ceremony is to start in minutes. The boats are waiting." Lily glared at each of them. "Get yourselves together before the professors leave the students waiting at the shore and come looking for you."

James straightened, a single jerk of his arm returning his robe over the shoulder it had fallen from. His nose was clearly broken. "All right, Lily?" he greeted, earning a scowl.

Sirius lightly touched the purpling under his right eye, which was beginning to close. Remus had a new cut across his chin that had been caused by the ring on Mulciber's hand.

The Slytherins were quicker to straighten themselves and head out, passing Lily on their way. Avery paused. "You're a powerful witch, Miss Evans," he said.

Lily arched an eyebrow at him. "And?"

Avery only smiled, and inclined his head. "Until we meet again."

James wiped at some blood on his face with the back of his hand. "Best to stay away from her, Avery. You're completely outclassed."

Avery didn't bother to respond.

Lily sighed. Apart from Peter, they were all a mess. "Come here, James," she said, casually holding out her hand to indicate where he should stand. "Episkey!"

James wiggled his nose, testing that the bones had reset. It was a silly motion, but his eyes had a dark seriousness in them. He was looking where the three others had just disappeared. "I don't like that he said that, Lily."

"I wouldn't worry about it, James," Lily answered, and moved on to Sirius.

"Gonna play doctor with me, too?" Sirius grinned, and tried to waggle his eyebrows, but the motion hurt too much.

~~break~~

The boats waited at the shoreline. It was to be a symbolic passage over the water, departing as graduates the same way as they arrived as 1st years. Though none of them were really the same as they had been then.

"Only four to a boat, James," Lily said as James tried to guide her into the already full boat after him. "I'll see you on the other side."

"Not so fast," James tugged on Lily's hand to get her close enough, and promptly pulled her by the waist onto the small boat.

"Watch it, Prongs!" Remus chastised. The boat threatened to tip over, undulating side to side, creating new waves.

Lily rolled her eyes, but smiled and pressed herself against James, tucking her legs in to give Peter room.

All together, the boats set off, gliding across the smooth water.

The younger Hogwarts students waved and cheered from the edge of the lake as the boats took the graduated 7th years across to Hogsmeade. A 6th year Gryffindor was wearing Sirius's afro wig, and he blew her a kiss.

James settled peacefully with Lily in his arms. He had her and his closest friends with him. It felt good, even if three of them had dried blood on their faces. Across the lake, James saw Avery, Mulciber, and Wilkes in their own boat. He took special note of the fact that Severus Snape, as usual, sat with them—and James frowned.

END


"Harry Potter" was written by J. K. Rowling. "Play That Funky Music" was written by Rob Parissi. The 5-minute version of the song lyrically lines up better with this fiction.