BPOV
I am cold. I am numb. The years are passing, but I've stopped noticing, or caring. I am utterly alone. It's like I'm walking in a snowstorm- and I've lost everyone. I can see them in the distance, but when I try to walk towards them, they disappear. Faint outlines of the ones I loved dance around me, never really there.
Am I crazy? I don't know if it's possible for a vampire to go crazy, but I wouldn't notice. After all this time I am just as dead as the day it happened. Now, so many years later I stand in Volterra, Italy, not caring enough to fight them anymore.
I shield Aro, Marcus and Caius, but I've never been able to stretch myself further than that since the first times, when I was still alive.
Aro can't stand to touch me since the first time. He had me force my shield away so he could see my thoughts; it took him weeks to recover. He could see the pain and the overwhelming numbness. And he couldn't handle it.
We were in the main room where they fed; sometimes they even brought a deer or something for me. Mainly because my shield was minimally stronger when I had eaten and I still refused to eat with them. I had to stay in the room while they ate, but the thirst doesn't bother me anymore. Nothing bothers me anymore.
Heidi entered in her usual get-up, but something was different, instead of leading a herd of humans like sheep into the room she had only one person with her. And that person didn't have a heart-beat that I could hear.
