Lonely By: dc190

All the lonely people, where do they all come from? ~Beatles





Ever since I could remember, I've always wanted to know how people could live with themselves, just knowing that there were people like me. People that have been made by a "civilized" society to carry out unthinkable orders with no qualms. Then they expect us to just turn into an average citizen who works and pays the bills till they die. On top of that, they even expect you to be happy while doing all of this, including taking and carrying out orders that destroy others lives. It doesn't work like that though. I tried to be happy and settle down once, but it wasn't me. Soon enough I was back to the soldier that I was trained to be, and those around me were buried deep in my memory, as I got farther away from them and deeper into my own mind. I was a loner, and I knew that that was the way it was supposed to be forever.

It would only be fitting that I should end up in this place then. This hell that I call home is nowhere near what I used to live in, but it suits me just fine. It's dark, dingy, rat infested and perfect. The building was once a chemical factory that got shut down by environmentalists years ago. I thought it was a fitting place, considering that I too, am pollution to the environment. Sometimes I think about joining the world of the blessed again, but then I think of who I am and realize that I am of the damned, and that world is not for me. For I am but a loner, and that way I shall stay forever.

Now don't confuse me with someone who was brought up in a world with no friends and family, for I had both up until a year ago, when I had had enough with myself. In some sort of twisted way it really is amusing though. You see, I'm supposed to be the one that was better off with perfect sanity. Yeah right. I think I might be the most mentally unstable (at least that's what the docs told me). Some of you might now be asking why I didn't just commit suicide, but that is a really stupid question when you think about it. Suicide is an easy way out of your problems, and I don't deserve the easy way. I deserve to rot in hell with all the other mass murderers of my generation.

There is one highlight in my life though. Every once in a while a young woman by the name of Hotaru Tomoe comes to find solitude here. . I like to listen to her talk to herself and watch her meditate. She really is an angel, though I've never talked to her. In fact, she doesn't even know that I'm here. Maybe one day I'll talk to her. Since I've had a lot of time to think about it, I even know what I'd say to her. I would say, " Hello. My name is Quatra Rebabah Winner and welcome to my personal hell."

~*~*~*~*~*~ Ok, so what didja think? r&r