Out of the History Books
With fingers fisting tightly around clothing, gentle white pulling dark clothing aside to lay his lips further down, it was all very easy to call the scene of tangled limbs in the armchair as something a bit more than passionate. It was nothing short of passionate to anyone who could see them. It could almost be said that their passion knew no bounds. Almost.
If they were interrupted by someone and forced to pull apart then they could have lived with that, Naoji certainly could have, but the idea that it was Lui himself stopping them... Just made him feel rejected. As he lowered his hand onto the bulge in Lui's pants as they shared passionate kisses across each others lips and jawlines, Lui gripped his hand tightly around Naoji's fingers and took his hand away from there.
Naoji's kisses began to falter as he felt his self-confidence dwindling once again. He began pulling back every so often until eventually he pulled back completely, lowering his head with shame.
"Why are you pulling back?" Lui asked, his voice flirtatious.
"Why are you pulling back?" He countered a little more bitterly.
"What do you mean?"
Their position was very intimate; Lui sat back comfortably in his chair and Naoji was in his lap, one leg either side of Lui's hips. Even so, Naoji began to feel the distance between them. "Why do you keep stopping me? And why don't we ever do more than this?"
"Are you unsatisfied?"
"Are you?" Naoji stared at Lui's chest, averting his gaze from those hard cold eyes to keep them from looking into his own and sensing his humiliation. "Am I not good enough to do those things with?"
Lui smiled faintly, "Isn't it good to get your feelings out? If you don't I won't know what to do with you."
"How can that be?" Naoji mumbled disagreeably. "You know when I'm upset, you know when I'm happy and know when..."
"There are just some things I'd prefer if you just told me; if you had we may have started long ago."
He went to kiss him again but Naoji pulled back quickly, "Why did you need to be told? Why did...you have to put me through this?"
"If you want something badly enough you'll ask for it, won't you?"
"I was asking!" Naoji snapped, finally angry. "Every time I tried to do something...you just stopped me!" He slammed his fist hard into Lui's shoulder and continued to hang his head in shame for the words he was saying.
Lui wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh, smile or frown. This was the Naoji he had always wanted to see but it still didn't feel right. He wanted to see this part of Naoji; the one burning up with so much passion that he put aside all inhibitions and asked for whatever he wanted. He just didn't quite expect this to be the thing that he wanted so badly.
"Why did you?"
"Do you really believe I did it with intentions of hurting you?" He gripped his hips, holding him in place in his lap, however painful it was to do so.
"You haven't said your reasons for doing it yet."
He was shocked. Had he really expected him to do it out of malice?
"It was completely the contrary."
Lui really hadn't given much thought to how Naoji would feel about this. He really had done it with the best of intentions, but he hadn't imagined Naoji felt so passionate as to be this upset about what had happened, or not happened, between them.
"Why won't you tell me?"
"Now that I know..." Lui trailed off as he began to feel Naoji's trembling; he was really shaken up by all this. He wondered why he was at all surprised; Naoji's confidence was never very high, and to be rejected like that... Only now did he realize what he had done to him. "I was hoping not to hurt you... I've...been reading..."
"Reading?"
"Japanese history."
Naoji tilted his head curiously, "Like what?"
"I was reading..." Lui cleared his throat to pause. "I was reading that years ago, at around 11 years old, a boy would move away from family and go to live and be the apprentice of an older man..." Naoji nodded his head; admitting there was truth in that and he was aware of it but he seemed scared to know where Lui was going with this. "The man could freely take the boy as his lover if he wanted, and it would be a special relationship until the younger became of age. It was...almost like a mutual agreement; the elder would have a great desire to be a great example for the younger and the younger would learn everything he needs to know from that person."
"I know my history." Naoji murmured nervously.
"You asked." Lui hissed quietly.
"You think that..." Naoji bit down on his bottom lip and Lui looked elsewhere. "I respect you a lot, you know that, but... I'm sorry..." He shrugged his shoulders slightly. "I like my history but...I don't really want to follow it..."
"I had no idea; that was why I kept turning you down."
Releasing a soft breath, Naoji leaned in and wrapped his arms tightly around Lui's neck, "I wish you'd learn..."
"Learn what?" Lui whispered into his neck, kissing his skin lightly.
"That there are just some things you can't learn in the books."
Lui pressed their lips together gently. "Are we..."
"We're fine." Naoji pressed his cheek to the other's, sighing softly, "I really thought..."
"The fact that you're still not confident at all in yourself... Somehow I can't say I find it all too surprising."
"I...don't want that for us... I mean..." He inhaled deeply; his words and his lack of confidence in his speech were going to be the death of him someday, he was certain of it. "I respect you, and...if I can help you make the best of yourself..." He sighed heavily again. "I...It would feel good if I could do that but...the rest of it..."
"Just tell me what you want; until then I won't do anything." For Naoji who knew Lui so well by now, knew from those words that the man was past being concerned; now he had returned to his usual confident and teasing self.
"I want us...to do it but...for as long as you have feelings for me."
"And you have feelings for me?"
"Of course."
Lithe fingers crept through the gap of buttons on Naoji's shirt, "Then..." Lui's lips reached up to his, teasing them gently, sparking desperation into them before he let them close together, kissing deeply, exploring each others mouths passionately.
Naoji could feel the muscles of his stomach quake under those finger tips; his breath hitched into the kiss as he realized it all in one quick wave. What had he just gotten himself into?
One handed Lui was undoing the buttons on Naoji's shirt, and the other was pulling him lower so as to reach his neck with his lips; all Naoji could do was sit there, kissing whatever skin he came in contact with, and his hands supporting himself on the other's thighs. He was burning all over suddenly; it became so hot he could barely tell what was going on the moment he closed his eyes, his body simply flooded in flames.
Lui squeezed his hips tightly, gaining his attention fully, "I haven't even done anything yet and you're already red and wearing a pained expression."
"Sometimes I feel like I act before I think, but then I realize I think too much..." Naoji's lips pulled into a nervous smile.
The older man wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling their waists together, "Then I'll have to make it so you can't even think."
Naoji's legs were shaking either side of Lui's hips; he had no reason to feel fear. He had wanted this; he had wanted it so badly that it hurt whenever he was turned down by the only person he could ever see himself trusting enough.
Lui unbuttoned and unzipped both their pants, just to relieve at least a little bit of the pressure, and pulled Naoji down into a kiss to relax him. Naoji allowed his fingers to roam through the others dark hair, keeping his hands busy by playing with the long strands.
He felt at a loss once Lui's lips left his, tending to his heaving chest and throat. It felt unbelievable but at the same time he began to feel awkward, unsure of what to do with his own mouth now that it wasn't touched by the others. He tried to kiss his cheek, his neck and his shoulder, wherever he could reach that wasn't covered by stubborn clothing. He felt lips touching his cheeks, then brushing against his ear teasingly, "I'm going to remove these." Lui told him seductively. His fingers had curled around the waistband of both his trousers and underwear, tugging gently downwards to get his complete attention.
Naoji lifted his hips up from on Lui's lap, allowing the man to tug the clothing down without causing him too much discomfort, using his shoulders for support. As Lui pulled them down lower he began to trail kisses further down now that Naoji was elevated enough to do so; following a light trail down the centre of his chest, over his navel and teasing around Naoji's most private areas. He felt the muscles in his tummy quivering with the feeling; unfortunately for him, Lui seemed to notice and found some satisfaction in being able to tease him in that way.
Lui's hands cupped his flesh hard in his hands, pulling Naoji over him to a quick kiss, "How does that feel?"
How could he answer that? It felt good. Embarrassingly so.
Lui's finger began stroking his entrance gently, back and forth constantly, with a smirk on his face. Naoji reached back, grabbing hard onto the hand to stop him before any sounds he'd regret could pass his lips. "Please..."
"I need to do that." Lui smiled against Naoji's lips. "If you can't even handle that..."
Almost regrettably, the Japanese boy let go and returned to burying his face into Lui's shoulder, chewing on his lip. He felt his hips pull back once it started again, before they pushed back to Lui's touch. He couldn't say he disliked it; it felt so good in fact, but the sounds coming out of his mouth were something that he couldn't quite forgive himself for.
"Does it hurt?" He had managed about half his finger in once Naoji winced.
"Not fair." His fingers sunk deep into the other's flesh, deeper with every finger that entered him very patiently. "You're still dressed."
"Are you going to help me?" Lui asked in a teasing voice.
Naoji smiled, Lui could vaguely see it though his head was bowed. "I'd like to say that I'd rather not." His voice shook with the effort it took to say anything at all, and the trembling that the rest of his body endured, both from fear and anticipation.
Lui pushed himself forward and Naoji used the support of the table nearby to keep himself from falling as Lui shrugged out of his shirt, kissing Naoji's chest teasingly at the same time. Lui gave him a brief look that explained everything; Naoji got up and went to the bathroom while Lui undressed quickly. The tube of liquid Naoji returned with was not ideal but it was sufficient; the only other option was one neither were willing to try.
Lui pushed two fingers back in; the use of lubricant meant that Naoji could only feel something good and teasing from the soft intrusion. By now he knew him enough to know that the older Strahl candidate was now teasing him into saying something again.
"How does it feel?" They were inching in deeper and Naoji cried out at the feeling of his knuckles rubbing against something sensitive. Had Naoji's eyes not been screwed shut he would have seen Lui's amused smirk and surely would have snapped at him.
He pulled his fingers out and muted the sound of displeasure with a kiss, taking his hips into his hands. Naoji's hips trembled as he felt the length touching his entrance but relaxed against the other, burying his mouth into his neck to keep himself silent.
Lui felt the arms around his neck tightening, Naoji begun to restrain himself and it showed in the tightening that wrapped around him and resisted against him. He sat forward in his chair, tilting Naoji back and cradling him gently in his arms as he pushed in further.
"Ngh..." Naoji moaned softly, resisting crying out, but smiled lightly, clinging desperately to the other. Having learnt from the use of his fingers Lui had expertly found that spot again, sending chills and intense pleasure through him. He repeated those same sudden jerking movements a few more times, not even giving Naoji a chance to come down from the high once before he did it again. Then, much to his dismay, he stopped completely. He sat up, searching his eyes desperately. He wanted to ask why but then he understood. He supported himself with one hand on his shoulder and one in his lap, lifting his hips and inching back down. Feeling foreign to performing such a movement he started slow, but as the desire Lui had made well in the pit of his stomach grew he felt his movements speeding up, pulling up faster, and lowering himself with more force, having memorized that spot also.
Their lips brushing quickly, their tongues entwining, their fingers gripping each other with passionate determination, the heat growing between them, between the friction of their bodies; the suffocation, the desire, did nothing more than heighten the experience for them.
Lui hoisted them up eventually, much to Naoji's surprise, having caused him to cling to the back of his shirt with desperation; how unromantic, he imagined, it would be if he fell right out of his lovers arms in that moment. He felt the cool clean sheets under his back shortly, the man's form was now on top of him rather than underneath him, teasing him with their slight distance. The Japanese inched his hips a little closer, sighing shakily, his chest still rising and falling quickly from exertion.
Finally, in response to the shameless supplications that he urged from his lips, Lui again held up Naoji's hips with his arms, and Naoji twined his quivering legs about Lui's waist.
"Ah, ahhh—!"
But Lui entered him shallowly and would not move, and when Naoji stared at him somewhat resentfully and with disbelief, he only returned a weak smile, as if to say, "What's that for?" Naoji had seen that cruel expression more than enough times before, and sucking in his breath, he raised his hips, wrapped his hand around Lui's tense erection, feeling at once desirous and frightened of it, and began moving to guide it inside him.
Lui got tired of the teasing, and Naoji couldn't have been more thankful. It didn't take much longer for the gap between the entirety of them to close completely, every thrust sending shivers and jolts through their bodies, their tongues mingling, lips fitting each other's perfectly, moans rumbling in their throats. Lui pulled out suddenly and he sealed his mouth again before he could let out a whine; Naoji felt their erections tight together in Lui's larger hand, rubbing them both out into their orgasms. They finished on their stomachs and in Lui's hand, Naoji's fingers tangling into his hair to get him closer, sharing a quick kiss.
Parting to breathe the Japanese's fingers trailed down his back slowly, feeling it slick with sweat. Their heavy breaths warmed each other's expressions and after gathering as much strength as possible, Lui dragged them both up to the top of the bed, reaching for a towel from earlier to clean themselves up.
"Next time..." Naoji whispered, catching his breath, "If you wanted...you could have..."
Lui smirked, kissing him softly, "I know... I wanted to see the shock on your face."
How typical, Naoji found himself thinking. Lui lay down beside him and pulled him close. "Stay the night."
Never had he felt comfortable sleeping beside Lui; only on the days when exhaustion would seriously overtake him did he feel well-rested after lying beside him. Perhaps this was going to be one of those nights.
"This coming break...come back home with me."
"Pardon?" He wasn't sure if it was his exhaustion or something else, but whatever Lui had said seemed to ring very strangely in his ears.
"You're spending your break in a home of strangers, are you not?"
"They're friends of my family."
"If you nor they have any objections..."
"Would your family mind? It's been a while..."
"My mother would love to see you again; as I tell you after every visit she asks after you a lot." Naoji then nodded in agreement, though he was cringing and seemed to nod just to give a response. "Why make a face as though I'm forcing you into this?"
Naoji inhaled deeply, wincing once more, "It's uncomfortable..."
Looking down and feeling legs brushing against him, trying to move into a comfortable position while staying close, Lui chuckled and let go of him too, "Lie however you're comfortable then."
"How would I know how that is?" He smiled nervously and struggled to roll over. "Could you promise me one thing?"
"I suppose that all depends what it is."
"The next time you pick up a Japanese history book..."
Lui chuckled as he knew exactly where he was going with this, "I'll be sure to let you know."
However innocent Naoji could be, however much he could ever respect his partner, Lui knew that he would never be able to live down the fact that he took relationship advice from a tragic history book.
A/N: It's done! This was written over a long period of time so I feel it's...maybe a bit strange at times; I'm not too sure. It may just feel that way because I wrote it at different times and all that. But it shouldn't be too bad! It's not my best smut either but... Ahh well! They're a bit of a toughie to right... Not trying to make excuses though!
Anyway, please leave a review and let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!
