Adam is asleep.

Not comatose, not dead, just asleep.

The amount of times Raphael has reminded himself of this fact, double checked and double checked again, just in the last hour, is a little pathetic. This human has changed him in so many ways, and he's managed to do it in such a short amount of time. There are times, like now, that Raphael honestly can't fathom how he ended up here, in this state of constantly worried bliss. Adam… does things to him, changes him, just by being on the same plane of existence.

It feels like it can't have been any longer ago than yesterday that he received the order to break into the cage his elder brothers now inhabit and pull out the damaged soul of Michael's former vessel. Raphael still doesn't know what possessed him, in that moment as he carried the wounded soul of Adam Milligan out of Lucifer's cage, to pour as much of his grace into the effort of healing the human as he could; to heal him as completely and as quickly as possible. Doesn't know why he didn't pull back, or at least slow down, when he sensed how close he was to overloading Adam's soul and creating an irreversible bond.

Far more importantly than the fact that he doesn't know why he did these things, Raphael finds that even now, he can't regret any of it, not even a little bit.

Adam is fragile, breakable, finite, and stubborn as hell. Constantly determined to do the right thing, whatever the cost to himself. If the cost to himself includes dying alone in the musty gymnasium of a small town high school to save the lives of a few children, Adam will make snarky remarks while he chokes on his own blood, and smile the whole time.

Having existed for longer than time itself, Raphael knows he sometimes falls into the trap of thinking he can't be surprised anymore. But in the midst of peace talks with Castiel, an idea he'd only agreed to try for Adam's sake, when the bond had alerted him to Adam's distress, to how close Adam was to dying, gone…

Surprise and shock and terror didn't even begin to cover it. Raphael hadn't spared a second glance in Castiel's direction before he took flight, determined to get to his human before it happened, before Adam's soul returned to Heaven. Arriving with Adam, Raphael hadn't paid attention to their surroundings, hadn't so much as looked to see if they were alone, before he'd set to healing his human as much as possible.

Discovering that his Adam, his stubborn, foolish, recklessly brave Adam had stumbled upon a hunt and decided to take care of it on his own, not bothering to call anyone for help first, had left Raphael shocked stupid with alternating fury and pride.

It's been almost two days since the bond alerted Raphael to his mates near death situation, and he's spent every single second of it sitting at Adam's beside, watching and waiting and occasionally pushing through more grace to make sure that Adam is completely healed.

Castiel has visited several times since it happened, all genuine concern and sympathy, and maybe when Adam is awake and smiling and making snarky, bitter comments, Raphael will be able to digest what that could mean for the future of the Heavenly Host and their own separate lives, but for now, he just can't. He can't even care about that, about Heaven and the war he's abandoned, not now.

Not until Adam's eyes are open. Not until Adam is rolling his eyes and mocking Raphael for being so overprotective, not until Raphael has had the chance to yell at his mate for being such a reckless idiot, not until they've both calmed down and made up.

"S'wha'phael?"

Raphael jumps in his chair and reaches out to grasp Adam's hand. "Adam," he breathes happily, because no matter how much faith he has in his healing abilities, no matter how much he knows that he's the best angelic healer there is, when it comes to Adam, he always finds himself worried beyond belief. It's Adam, his Adam, his mate, and Raphael doesn't know how not to worry about him. "You're awake."

"Think so," Adam agrees, voice still slurred from sleep and healing. "Happened?" he asks, brow creased in confusion.

Raphael closes his eyes briefly, trying not to snap. "Some idiot discovered a hunt and decided it would be a wise idea to deal with it completely alone, not even bothering to alert anyone to what he was doing."

"S'stupid," Adam mutters, looking away. "I was just… had to."

"Well, next time, you have to tell someone first, at the very least!" Raphael snaps, forty eight hours of constant worry pushing him over the edge. "Better still, ask for help. Take a partner. Don't be a reckless fucking imbecile."

Adam winces. "I love you?"

Raphael closes his eyes briefly, determined to calm himself down. There is no need to fight about this now, not really. He should take a second to be grateful that he got there in time to heal Adam without breaking a thousand different Laws. "I love you too," he murmurs, and then, because now that Adam's awake and talking, he trusts his abilities enough to let go a little, he climbs onto the bed, gently nudging Adam over to make room. "Did you know that archangels can be driven insane with worry?" he queries politely.

"I didn't," Adam says with feigned shock. "I didn't know beings that were already insane could be driven insane. Did I make you crazier, love?"

Raphael blinks and then scowls teasingly. "Brat," he chides, lightly ghosting fingers over Adam's bare hips and grinning widely when his mate sucks in a sharp breath and makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and a moan. What was that excuse Castiel had used after going AWOL for days, months ago after Dean Winchester's latest death? Ah, yes. Life affirming make up sex. It's as good an excuse as any, really, and it's not like Castiel genuinely has room to complain if Raphael is a few hours late for their meeting.