"Why is the Wi-Fi down?! I can't do shit with this!" Melone shouted as he slammed Risotto Nero's office door open with a loud slam. Risotto was used to this and had taped a pillow onto the wall. The door had almost gone through the wall before it was put there. There were cracks forming already and the paint had chipped.
"Deal with it", Risotto mumbled. He had paperwork to do. Whatever this was about, it could surely wait.
"I can't work! Did someone take the cable again?! Ghiaccio?! Are you charging your phone?!"
"Wasn't me, asshole!" Ghiaccio shouted from the living room, "I can't get connection either!"
Risotto sighed. He should get a lock installed.
"We haven't had work in months", he explained, pointing to the many bills on his desk.
Melone took a few letters and opened them. He checked the numbers and huffed loudly.
"We can't pay these!"
"Exactly", Risotto nodded. He had managed to pay the phone bill at least. That way they could be contacted about work if there was any. He hoped the Boss wouldn't use e-mail this time.
A few Metallica beings cried on the man's palm. They wiggled their bodies for emphasis.
"I know", he whispered to the little guys, "It's going to be okay."
They were probably trying to tell him that eating only instant noodles for the past week wasn't good for his health. Maybe it wasn't, but it sure was less expensive.
"So?" Ghiaccio asked from where he was nestled in an armchair, tapping his phone with a rising anger level. He looked a lot like a cat when he was like that. Formaggio had once told him that and gotten a leg to the chin.
"No internet", Melone shrugged. He put his laptop down and sat down on the leather sofa. That wouldn't be much use to him now. Not without connection.
"WHAT?!"
"It's like I said. Or have you been paying the bills?"
"Of course not!" Ghiaccio roared. That was Risotto's job.
"What are you two arguing about this time?" Prosciutto massaged his temples. He could feel a headache forming already. These two could really be brats sometimes.
Pesci followed close behind, sticking to the blond man. He was the newest member and still hadn't gotten used to the rest of the team and their antics.
The two had been grocery shopping. There had been some great offers today. The flash sales had left them with bruises but they were well worth it. The toilet paper had been so cheap. Pesci's large size had helped them elbow their way through the housewives and other customers. Prosciutto fixed his hair as he remembered their struggle.
"Great timing! Did you guys bring any coffee? We're out", Formaggio appeared from the kitchen, shaking an empty cup where the coffee probably should've been. A stray cat sat on his shoulder, glaring at everyone. The man had some marks on his cheeks telling that this was one mean pussycat.
"We got some! Wait a second", Pesci smiled as he dug through the plastic bags.
Risotto would be disappointed in them. Plastic bags cost extra. He had made them fabric ones to use instead. They were much more fashionable too. Prosciutto couldn't help that he had forgotten them this time.
"This is instant coffee! And this is the cheapest kind too! Prosciutto!?" Formaggio read the label.
The man in question had moved into the kitchen to put the groceries away. There was a carton of milk and a couple greens to put in the fridge. Everything else was either cans or instant food. There had been a sale on canned soup. That would go well with many things and you could always add into them.
"Pesci, go put the paper to the washroom and then come back to help me make dinner", Prosciutto told his protégé who did as he was told, running off. Formaggio's cat got spooked by this and ran away somewhere.
"What is the meaning of this? I can't drink this crap!" Formaggio slammed the instant coffee jar onto the counter.
"A budget cut."
"A what?"
"Risotto and I went through this month's bills and other expenses. We had to cut where we could."
"Seriously?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?" the man sighed as he gave The Grateful Dead the crumbled-up plastic bags to put away. The Stand hopped to the sink and placed the items under it. It was hard when you had to use your hands as legs.
Formaggio made his coffee, not saying anything more. He knew he wouldn't be the only one to complain about this.
"Just keep an eye on the water. I'll peel the potatoes", Prosciutto told Pesci. He could remember how the younger had cut his finger last time. The crying had stopped after half an hour and a cute bandage.
"Why are we doing potatoes?" Pesci stared at the water. He couldn't even see bubbles yet. Maybe if he stared some more, they'd come out.
"We'll add them into the tomato soup. It'll be more filling. Got to get your carbs from somewhere", the blond explained, checking if they had any onions left to add in as well.
"I don't like potatoes", Illuso peeked out from a mirror on the kitchen wall. He had installed one into every room. If you thought about the man and his ability too much, it would get very awkward for you to go to the toilet. There usually was a mirror there, after all.
"Shut it. You either eat it or starve. More for us."
"Mean", Illuso rolled one of his many pigtails between his fingers, checking for split ends.
"You tell that to the Boss. He is the one who hasn't paid us in over a month."
"There hasn't been any work. The Capos keep taking care of the work in their territories", Illuso crossed his hands, "The Boss is hiding again, keeping quiet."
"When was your last job?" Prosciutto asked. He and Pesci hadn't been given anything in a long time. The Boss was doubtful of the newbie's abilities. Prosciutto had refused to work alone with the boy around. He believed in Pesci. The boy just needed some confidence.
Illuso dug a few papers out from inside his jacket. Why use pockets?
"Two weeks ago. Got rid of a guy."
"Just one?"
Illuso nodded. The pay had been terrible, as always. Most of it had gone to the shared rent.
"Oi, Formaggio! Quit complaining about the coffee and help", Prosciutto shouted.
Formaggio entered the room, having heard the news from the two in the living room, "What is it? Can't Pesci help you?"
"I can't let him cut the onions and I'm busy with these."
Pesci blushed as the man got to work. The onions irritated his eyes. Onions irritated everyone's eyes!
Formaggio was fast. He had lived alone for a long time and knew how to cook. Too bad he was too lazy to actually do it most of the time. The landlord of the apartment complex had decided to rise the rents last month, forcing the man out. He had already been struggling to collect the money to pay the old rent.
"Where are Sorbet and Gelato? Didn't the two say they'd come by later today?" he asked the others in the kitchen.
The couple were the only two who could afford to live on their own. They both had gotten part-time jobs behind Risotto's back. It also helped that at least one of them was so good with money.
"Probably not. They don't like soup", Illuso pointed out, "Must be too busy with each other."
"What they don't like is my cooking", Prosciutto grumbled.
Pesci averted his gaze when the blond looked for confirmation.
"I don't think the two care much. Do psychopaths have a sense of taste?" Formaggio shrugged, turning his attention to the pot of soup shimmering on the stove. At least they still had electricity.
"Ghiaccio was pissed", Prosciutto said. He was currently sitting by Risotto's desk. It was just the two of them. He had made them both a cup of the disgusting instant coffee. Adding milk and sugar helped a bit.
"Hm", Risotto hummed. He was too focused on his work to care too much. Ghiaccio was always pissed.
"Looks like a scarf."
"Hm."
The days were getting colder, so Risotto had decided to knit the group a little something to help. Metallica was helping too, keeping the yarn coming as the user knitted. They were rolling the ball around the room, making their little noises.
Prosciutto watched the little guys go. Their leader really was full of surprises. Prosciutto himself had found out about the hobby just a year ago. Risotto had made him a pair of gloves back then. They fit his style too. He had worn them so much they had holes in them now.
"Do you think we could go out to eat this weekend? The younger ones are getting anxious", Prosciutto lit a cigarette. Risotto wouldn't mind the smoke.
"Did you promise Pesci something?" saw right through him then.
"He saw an ad for Wac Donalds."
Risotto stopped his knitting and thought, "That is a restaurant?"
"A fast food place."
"Pizza?"
"No! I could never do that to pizza", Prosciutto shook his head, "They have hamburgers and fries."
"Sounds good to me. Let's go tonight."
"Tonight?"
"Why not? Didn't Pesci want to go?"
"I just made soup", Prosciutto mumbled.
"They'll get hungry again soon. I don't want to hear them complain about your cooking", Risotto said with a straight face.
The blond blushed. Risotto really could surprise.
"Thank you."
No reply. The man was focused on his knitting again. He looked almost soft when paired with the baby blue yarn and near-finished scarf.
Prosciutto smiled as he closed the office door behind him.
"Wait. If he is the mother of the group, what does that make me?"
Pesci had found a paper ad for Wac Donalds amongst their other mail. He was in charge of cutting and sorting through the many coupons they got. That was something he took great pride in doing. It was his responsibility. Prosciutto always made sure to tell him how good he did.
"There are special offers if you order two of the same meal", Melone read.
Everyone was sitting around the living room table looking at the paper. Prosciutto and Risotto had given the kids some space and stood near keeping and eye on the situation. Also, they didn't have any experience with fast food.
"Find anything interesting?" Prosciutto asked Pesci. He had asked him to pick something for him and Risotto too. He was wondering if it was okay to trust the boy with the orders. The things on the menu looked really weird.
"Hm! There are fish burgers!" Pesci nodded.
"Fish burgers?" definitely weird stuff.
"We go as soon as you've decided", Risotto mumbled from the couch. He was counting their money. They'd be fine. No desserts though.
The group walked to the fast food place. They got some weird looks from the passerby. Risotto would have to have a talk about their outfits. His included. They stood out. They were supposed to be assassins.
"We have Stands. We don't have to be sneaky", Formaggio shrugged, "We look hella professional!"
"With that shirt? No way", Illuso snickered from a pocket mirror in Formaggio's breast pocket.
"Shut it. I'll leave you behind."
"You wouldn't."
"So, we should dress like Sorbet and Gelato? Have you smelled those two?" Melone pointed out, "And Gelato's teeth. Ugh. He doesn't even try! I really wonder what Sorbet sees in him."
"Gelato is cool. Like you dress any better", Ghiaccio grumbled. He was walking and tapping his phone at the same time, playing some game on it.
"T-They helped me paint my nails once! Sorbet bought my favorite color too", Pesci butted in from where he was walking beside his Aniki. The two were surprisingly nice to the newest member. The two had tried to teach the boy how to use a gun. Not that Pesci really needed one.
"They have their reasons", Prosciutto pointed out. He didn't have patience for their members dissing each other. Work wouldn't get done if they fought all the time.
"Their jobs can take days of stalking. They're efficient. Sometimes more than any of you", Risotto huffed, "And they don't have Stands to help them."
"Bloody psychopaths", Ghiaccio spat.
"Do you want that milkshake or not?"
"Sorry."
"Hello! What could I get for you tonight?" a young female worker greeted Melone and Ghiaccio with a wide smile when it was their turn to order. The rest had gone to get them a table. The two were probably the only ones who could actually remember the order too. The two oldest could hardly pronounce some of the items' names. Pesci was too nervous to order and Formaggio just wanted to sit down.
"Hello bambina", Melone leaned his body on the counter, taking the girl's hand, "We would like to order."
He looked like a snake like that. His long and thin body lying on the counter.
"Uh… S-Sure", did she really need this job? Sure, she was a student and had gotten this job to pay for some of her living expenses. But did she really sign up for something like this? These two men looked like nothing but trouble.
"Can you get ice with the milkshakes?" Ghiaccio asked as he began pointing out items for her, "I want one with my meal."
Melone continued his flirting and inappropriate questions.
"S-So no soda but a milkshake?" she smacked the taller man's hand away when it got too close to her chest area.
"Exactly! Didn't you hear me?!"
"Of course! Do you want the ice in the cup with the shake or in a different cup?"
"In it."
"Yes, thank you!" honestly, did she need this job? A milkshake WITH ice? It was a cold drink. But the customer was already making a scene, she'd do whatever he wanted if that got him to calm down and leave. If he wanted ice with his shake, he got ice with his shake. Especially if he took his creepy friend with him.
"What's your favorite color, bambina? Red?" Melone asked, handing her the money Risotto had given him. He made sure to take and count the change. The leader would want every little coin back.
"Pink. The ketchup is over there. I'll bring the rest of your order to your table. Here's your number. Put it somewhere where I can see it. Thank you very much."
"So cold", Melone sang as he took one of the trays. Ghiaccio took the other.
"Please come again!" Actually, don't. Preferably never.
"We got the drinks!" Melone sat down. The rest had gotten a nice table. It was far from the children's play area. There were some nice ladies sitting near them too. Melone would surely take full advantage of that. Baby Face seemed excited too.
"Did you remember everything?" Prosciutto took his caramel frappe and handed Risotto his. He took a sip. It was very sweet. He hardly tasted the coffee. The straw got stuck in between his teeth too.
"Yes. Pesci, did you really order juice?"
"The bubbles make my stomach hurt", the boy mumbled. Apple juice tasted better too.
"Should we have gotten you milk?"
"Melone", Risotto glared at him. He also took his change, counting it just as Melone had said.
The food arrived soon after. The worker turned pale when she saw the company the two had been with. They looked so sketchy. She'd have to tell the manager to keep an eye on them. They might rob the place. If they were kind that is, who knows, they might blow the whole place up instead.
"Here's your food. Bon appétit!" she hoped that these guys didn't need anything else. Good thing they said that they wouldn't need dessert.
Ghiaccio began his rambling about language. Melone sitting next to him dodging his hands as the blue haired waved them around in anger.
"Here Illuso, your meal", Formaggio put the mirror on the table next to his tray. They had both ordered a triple cheese burger set. Illuso trusted the other to order him something.
"Looks disgusting", a hand emerged from the mirror, snatching the fries and drink.
"It's a cheese burger man! It can't be bad!", Formaggio said with a mouth-full of burger, "Fine. You can have my fries!"
Illuso snatched the other serving of fries as well, dragging it into the mirror world.
"You know, you could just come and eat with us. No need to be shy", Formaggio gave him the ketchup as well, "I guess there are too many people around. Suit yourself."
Prosciutto stared his burger. Why would anyone want pickles in their burger? He made sure to pick those out. He took them out of Pesci's too. The boy had ordered a fish burger.
Melone and Chiaggio both had chicken nuggets and dip. Chiaggio also had his vanilla shake. They kept trying to steal each other's nuggets when the other wasn't watching. It was easy when both were so focused on their phones. The place had free Wi-Fi and the two took full advantage of it.
"This is good", Risotto nodded. He had been very quiet before this, watching the people around them. Guess he was nervous in the new environment. Someone could recognize them and try to attack.
"Really?" Prosciutto had a hard time believing this. He took a bite out of the burger. Guess it was okay. He still preferred the local Italian cuisine.
"Look Aniki! Check out how long this fry is!" Pesci showed the blond a fry, snapping the other from his thoughts.
Prosciutto took out a fry longer than it, showing it to Pesci.
"Oh! That's even longer!" the boy measured the two side by side before checking to see if he had one to compete with it.
Prosciutto ate his. Hm. Nice.
"No! You cheated! There's no way you won this round!" Ghiaccio screamed, kicking Melone under the table. Their nuggets were long gone. The two were playing some new game they had found. All the others knew about it was that it took a lot of tapping. Chiaggio had managed to break one phone with his gaming already. They were hoping this one would last a bit longer.
"Oh shut it! You're just not good at this", Melone huffed as he kicked back.
"Let me play too", Pesci tried to get in the fun. Prosciutto had bought him an ice cream for dessert.
"No", was the instant reply from them both.
Prosciutto and Risotto were talking about work. They had found a newspaper and were reading it together.
Formaggio was showing off photos of his girls to Illuso. The girls were obviously cats the man had met when out working.
"The color of that one is nice", Illluso pointed out.
It was obvious to them both how ridiculous they must've looked. Formaggio was showing his phone to a mirror.
"She almost scratched my eye out! A real cutie!" Formaggio agreed.
The raven head sighed, "Do you ever consider that the cats don't actually like you?"
"They're just shy! Look at this one. She let me scratch her tummy. Only for a minute though."
"Good for you."
The group ended up staying in the place for three hours. The staff oddly didn't kick them out.
"That was delicious!" Formaggio stretched his sore muscles as they stepped outside. The sun had set a long time ago. He looked around to see if there were any cats out. They really liked this part of the city. There was a lot of dark alleys with trash and rats around.
"Hm", Risotto nodded. This had been easier to his wallet than many of the other outings they had had in the past. He closed his jacket. It really was getting colder. He'd have to hurry up with those scarves.
Prosciutto lit a cigarette and took a long drag. He wondered if they'd eat anything he made after this. Formaggio would have to help. Tomorrow would be a noodle day. Maybe he could try a new combination this time.
