DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto. There I said it are you happy now?!

A/N Okay well i got tired of just reading fanfics so i decided to try my own so dont be too harsh.

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On a narrow dirt road surrounded by tall green trees, just outside of the towering gates of Konohagakure, two figures could be seen walking down. The first could be considered a giant of a man with long spiky white hair and red markings on his face that went from his eyes to his chin. He was dressed in very odd clothes that a traveler might wear, consisting of a worn green kimono with a red battle vest placed over the top. Under his kimono is a set of chain mail that protects his whole body a pair geta sandals and to top it off a headband with the kanji for oil etched onto it. He was none other than the legendary toad sage Jiraiya.

The second who was considerably smaller than the first had extremely spiky blonde hair that reached his shoulders and he wore clothes that were more befitting of a shinobi. He wore a black muscle shirt, a pair of dark green khaki pants and some black ninja sandals. To top off his look he had a black cloak with red clouds adorning it that covered the bottom half of his face. On his right index finger he had a ring with the kanji for 'Blue' and on his right pinky he had another ring of the same design with the kanji for 'Boar', though they remained unseen because his cloak covers his hands. However probably the strangest thing about the young man was the three whisker like markings on each of his cheeks. On his back was a nodachi with a black blade that reflected no light and a blood red handle with nine tassels hanging off of the end. He was the apprentice of the self proclaimed super pervert and a pervert himself ; Naruto Namikaze.

'I wonder how the girls back home have developed, hehe...' he was suddenly brought out of his musing when he received a rather hard bonk on the head, courtesy of his sensei.

"Dammit Ero-Sennin!"

"Oi, gaki, keep those naughty thoughts to yourself and clean that blood from your nose , were here."

'I'm so proud of him. I never did get round to turning his father into a perv.' Jiraiya thought with a grin that slowly turned into a scowl after his trail of thought had ended .

"Hey kid, you might want to take Zetsu's cloak off. We don't want another incident like the one in Kumo."

"Meh, guess you're right, its not fun nearly being stabbed by seven swords at once." Ah yes the incident in Kumo, Naruto was mistaken for an akatsuki member and was attacked by both the Raikage and his brother, who was funnily enough the host of the eight tailed ox, after some akatsuki hunting.

The idea hit Naruto in the middle of learning some kenjutsu skills to combat Kisame, or as Naruto called him fish face. The way Naruto saw it why wait for the akatsuki to hunt him down when he could hunt some of their weaker members down and pick them off one by one.

It wasn't easy though, even their weakest member, Zetsu, wasn't easy to beat. In the end he had to take his weights off and plough a rasengan into the back of the head to finish him off thanks to Zetsu's fast regenerative abilities.

As they neared the gates they walked in silence until they were stopped by the guards at the gate.

"Halt! State your names and your reasons for visiting konoha." Demanded a guard with some bandages running across his face. No one noticing a figure leap onto the wall overlooking the gate.

'Oh god no...' Kakashi thought dejectedly as he saw the look that crept onto both Naruto and Jiraiya's face.

"...You don't recognize us?..." they said in union and when they answered, one of the biggest grins ever seen crept onto their faces.

"No should we know you?" asked the guard who was a bit wary by the look on Jiraiya's face.

Jiraiya said nothing as he and Naruto started to hand seals at an amazing pace and the guards quickly jumped into defensive stances as they both slammed their hands on the floor.

"KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!" The loud yell came from within the smoke and the guards took out kunais as an attack now looked imminent.

When the smoke had dissipated Jiraiya and Naruto stood on top of two medium sized battle toads, in one of the most awkward stances they had ever seen and Kakashi just stood there with a huge bead of sweat rolling down the back of his head.

What ensued next would forever be branded into the minds of Kakashi, the guards and all the surrounding wildlife as both teacher and student did the most ridiculous dance ever seen. They even sung for Kami's sake!

'I would much rather be Orochimaru's next experiment than watch that again.' All three of the spectators thought at the same time.

SOMEWHERE IN OTO...

Orochimaru sneezed three times in a row and Kabuto ran straight to his master like a good dog.

"Orochimaru sama are you okay?!"

"Yes, kukukukukukuku, although I bet Sasuke kun is thinking dirty thoughts about me right now."

Sasuke just turned away as Orochimaru directed his creepiest smile towards him and Sasuke just knew that somewhere in the world an infants orphanage had just burned to the ground for no apparent reason.

BACK IN KONOHA

After the guards had finally realized who they were and let them in, the pair had made their way straight towards Tsunade's office at a steady pace.

As they walked through the streets almost every female in the area looked at Naruto with hearts in their eyes and much to Naruto's dismay and disgust even a few men had the same look. Jiraiya just stood off to the side with comical tears rolling down his face.' Lucky brat.' he thought as he watched as Naruto received offers off sex and marriage from more than a few of the women.

They finally made it to the the office after having to pry a few women away from Naruto and when they opened the door. When Tsunade saw who it was she rushed towards the duo and Jiraiya being Jiraiya put his arms out to receive the hug only to be blasted through the wall and the next three after that.

Tsunade then continued on her path and crushed Naruto into a vicious bear hug only for Naruto to return it."Tsunade, good to see you!" He then let his hand snake down to her ass only for it to be crushed and the air forced out of him. "Keep it above the waist, brat."

Then the ramifications of what Naruto had just tried to do then hit Tsunade as veins bulged out of her forehead and temple. She turned to the perverted hermit just as he was climbing from the wreckage of the walls and glared so fiercely that the genin that was bringing more paperwork to her office pissed his pants and fainted.

"JIIRRRAIYAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

His screams could be heard for hours.