This is a new story I've been working on for a few days or so.

In my other story, Home, Nessie cheats on Jake- causing a huge road bump in their relationship.

In my other story, In the Present, there's fighting and gradual drifting apart that end their relationship.

In this story, I wanted to test the boundaries of Jake's imprint when the variable was out of their control entirely.

I wanted to see how they would react when the secret was out, and how their lives would unfold.

I really like this first chapter,

As a girl who's struggled with my orientation for years, it's kind of hard for me to write.

However, I love a good challenge. c:

Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight series, I don't own the lyrics I use for chapter titles, or the lyrics I use in the chapters themselves.

(Extremely cliché song lyrics ahead)...


And I can't change
Even if I tried,
Even if I wanted to,
And I can't change,
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to,
-Same Love, by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

When Jake told me about the imprint, I told him I wasn't ready for commitment and that I could only love him as a friend. We both cried for separate reasons. For him: he had just been rejected by his one and only love. For me, it was much more complicated than that. My family all knew, and my dad insisted on hinting to Jake that he should continue his search for love elsewhere. Jake took it as fatherly love for his daughter and her heart.

We were laying on La Push beach, staring up at the stars. It was a beautiful night: laying under the stars; listening to the gentle waves on the beach.

"Nessie?" Jake rolled over and looked at me, his brow was furrowed.

"Yeah?" I asked as I rolled onto my back to look up at the stars.

He swallowed, "What's wrong with me?"

I looked over at him, "I don't- Are you sick?" I pressed my hand to his forehead.

He took my hand in his, "What's wrong with me?" He whispered again.

I sat up, "Jake, what is wrong with you? Besides the fact that you're acting like a looney."

"What's so wrong with me- that you can't love me?" He sat up, "What is it, Ness?" He looked so pained, "I mean… I told you about the imprint and you said you could only love me as a friend. So there must be something about me that's so unlovable." He kissed my hand, "I don't know what you want me to… Just tell me what to do Ness. I'll do anything."

I shook my head, "It's not that easy." I tried to pull my hand away but he held on tight. "Jake."

"Please Ness. I think it's fair for me to say that you owe me this. One explanation, that's it." His eyes were red. "Just one, just tell me what's wrong with me."

"I can't." I whispered.

"Damn it Ness." He dropped my hand and stood up; pacing. "I can't even think of what it would be… Is- Is it the fact that I'm a wolf? Does that scare you Ness? Because you know I would never hurt you. I- Does it freak you out? If that's the case then please, tell me now." He stopped pacing and looked at me.

I shook my head.

He growled and began pacing again, "Is it my heritage or something? I- God, Ness. I mean, can you not see yourself with me because of the color of my skin? Is it some sort of white person thing? Is- Is it that you think I can't provide for you?" He flushed, "Because I can Ness. I can't buy you everything the Cullen's can but-" He choked, "I'd die trying to make you happy."

"Jacob. Stop it." I was crying now, how could he think I was so shallow.

"Well, Nessie. I don't have any idea. I don't. We're…. We're so compatible." He stood there, running a hand through his hair; and then he dropped to his knees in front of me. "Is it because of the imprint? Is it because you thought of me as a brother for so long? Does that freak you out Ness?" He was crying now, "Because it was in my best intentions. I did that for you, not to make you uncomfortable in the long run, Darling."

"Stop! Stop!" I shouted. "How could you think I'm that shallow, Jacob Black? I don't care about the color of your skin. I don't care about… about material possessions. Do you really think so lowly of me?" I whispered.

"Ness, darling, no. You're just not giving me any information. There must be some reason why you're like this. Why you won't hold my hand, why you won't kiss me. You won't let me introduce you as my girlfriend. You won't do anything that couples do." He frowned, "Baby, I'm out of ideas."

"That's because we're not a couple, Jacob." I told him.

"But you're my imprint; what else are we Nessie?" He stroked my hair until I pushed him away. "Are you afraid of me?" He whispered, "Are you afraid I'll hurt you, or make you do something you don't want?" He stared at me, "I would never do that Ness. I would never intentionally hurt you, or pressure you into anything."

"Jake. Stop, please, for your own good." I stood up, "I want to go home now."

He shook his head, "Not until I get some kind of answer out of you." He sat firmly in place.

I stared at him for a while and then sat next to him. I breathed deeply, shaking until I found my words. "Jake, I'm gay." I shook my head, "Maybe that came out wrong. I'm having trouble figuring out what I am, to be completely honest…" I wiped my eyes. "I like women. No, I love women. Just, not exclusively…. Right now, I can't see myself with anyone." I looked up at him.

He was staring at me, "You're gay?" He whispered.

"Yes… NO. Maybe. I don't know Jake. I was going to tell you when I figured it out. It's hard for me to explain it, Jake."

"So, where do I fit into all of this?"

I shook my head, "I don't know." I looked down at my lap, "I'm sorry."

He sighed and put his arm around me, "No matter what, I'll always love you." He whispered in my ear and held me to him. I felt his wet face press into my neck, felt his chest moving with each sob.

I pulled him into my arms and vowed I would never see him cry like this again. When Billy died, I promised him I would make sure his son was happy; I would make sure he was surrounded by my love. I felt like this was a violation to his memory. I would do anything for my Jake. I loved him so much, I would just need to make sure it was enough. For him, I would figure out my feelings. For him, I would sacrifice my own happiness for his.


Can I get a fangirl scream for Macklemore?

Ooooh, that man. c;

Haha. I hope you liked this.

If you did, you should review;

If you didn't you should still review.

If you felt relatively neutral about the entire thing, you should still review.

I really love reviews.

Love, Joplin.