"NO! DON'T NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" Darry screams. He must be having another nightmare.

"Hey it's ok. It's ok. It's just a bad dream. You're safe. You're here with me." I tell him. He rolls over into my chest and I hug him close. I feel my heart soar in my chest. Ever since Johnny died, it's been hard on us all. When Dally was getting shot down, Ponyboy tried to save him and took a few of his bullets. We lost three gang members in one night. You really can't blame us for falling apart. Darry was always our rock. Now I have become the only one holding the gang together. Kind of funny, huh. No one knows that I'm just as broken by this as the rest of them. I have to stay strong though. If I don't, know one else will. I know what you're thinking now. Well, I've started sleeping in Darry's bed with him. I'm his boyfriend, and he needs emotional support. Yeah, boyfriend! I still can't believe it. Don't worry, it's not because we fuck or anything. I just sleep in his bed with him fully clothed. Steve sleeps in Soda's bed with him. Soda cries a lot these days, and has fallen apart. After he lost Ponyboy...he hasn't been the same. His face is always red and puffy from crying, his hair is a mess, he's kind of out of shape—this kind of qualifies as depression, doesn't it?—,everything reminds him of Ponyboy, and he doesn't want to do anything. I can tell it breaks Steve's heart to see him like this. Darry isn't much better. He's started picking himself back together, we're making progress. He's going places again, he's less sensitive, he's recovering. Slowly but steadily. We all have our bad days. I've quit drinking. Sober since Sodapop fell apart. I know it's all a mess, but it's not all bad. Soda got the horse, Mickey Mouse. Darry got it for him to make it feel better. The only time he goes out is with Steve, or to ride his horse. We adopted a puppy—he has Johnny's eyes—he's real sweet, he's shy with strangers, so we named him Johnny. I hear Johnny whine at the door. I mean the dog, silly. I step out into the hallway and Johnny climbs onto my lap. I hold him. For some reason I start crying. I can't help it or stop it. I bury my head in Johnny's fur and snuggle with him. The next thing I know, I see Steve walk into the hallway. He's not wearing a shirt.

"Hey." Steve says in a raspy whisper.

"Hey," I respond. He sits down next to me. He looks at me, and before I know it, his lips are on mine. I kiss back for a literal second before pushing him off.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" I say.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know why-" He stammers.

"I have a boyfriend!"

"I know, it's just, I mean—"

"Then why did you kiss me?"

"I'm confused, ok? I don't have a crush on you anymore that was last year but—"

"Then why did you kiss me. Why are you so confused that you kiss me?! Is there someone else or something going on? You can tell me."

"I...I...I love Sodapop. But I shouldn't. I shouldn't think about him like I do. It's wrong. I can't be..."

"Ahhh. Good old homophobic gays. I've been there. Hey it's not wrong. It's just fine that you like who you like. You just have to accept it."

"But Soda's having such a hard time these days, and I don't want to make it worse." He says concerned.

"Well, sometimes having someone love you makes it better. You should tell him; but let him no that if he doesn't feel the same, then you want to still be friends and you'll always be there for him no matter what. That way you won't loose him or make him sad." I tell him.

"Ok. Thank you Two-Bit. I'm sorry for kissing you." He says.

"Eh don't worry about it. I've been there before." I say.

Steve cocks an eyebrow.

"Come on," I say rolling my eyes, "I'll tell you some other time if you're lucky. Go back to bed."

He goes back into Soda's room. Who knew? Well actually, probably someone knew. I yawn and leave the sleeping Johnny. I go back to Darry's bed and fall asleep.