New Kid

Craig is an insecure boi in this fic, if you don't like that, don't read it. Also, this is from Craig's POV, if you don't like that, see above.


"You're not gay, are you?"

I looked up from my phone and scanned the small basketball court. Over a tiny hill and in the trees stood three people. Kenny, Cartman and a new kid. It was obvious that Kenny had initiated the conversation, I knew that from the get-go – I could tell from his stupid accent.

"N-no! Wait! Am I?" The small figure the loud noises were coming from stepped around the tree. I could only get a glimpse of him, though, before he went into the sea of orange and red of Kenny and Cartman. I could still hear nervous whimpers from him though, and I figured he was a nervous type. Not a lot of them in South Park.

"Well, dude, whatever way you swing – we're fine with it, okay. Right Cartman?" Kenny lifted his hand to Cartman as he said this, but the fatass just slapped it away.

"Yeah, sure." He said, unconvincingly. Kenny just sent him a jab in the ribs, which he – obviously – overreacted to.

"W-wait, you guys are a couple?" The kids asked. I cringed at the question. Kenny didn't cringe though, he just wheezed heavily and began laughing hysterically. Cartman had a thick wave of anger engulf him, but before he could lash out Kenny explained to the kid Cartman had a girlfriend, had being the emphasis in the sentence.

"Alright, kid, you made me laugh – so you deserve my name. My name's Kenny, by the way." Kenny reached out his hand for a handshake and gave one of his annoying grins.

"Anyone can make you laugh, Kenny." Cartman spat, shaking his head in disapproval.

"You're just jealous, Cartman." Kenny joked, swinging his hand aimlessly at the fatass. Cartman just growled at him.

"Anyway kid, my name's Kenny. This is Cartman and we're also friends with Stan and Kyle." Kenny smiled at the boy. Cartman, however, did not – and he just scowled at Kenny.

I curled my fingers as Kenny said that. No. No way was I going to let Kenny drag that kid into their group.

I trudged over to them, my feet crunching into the snow hard. As I reached the group I finally had time to see the new kid. He had hair which was scraggly and sticking out the sides like it could stab somebody, yet it seemed fluffy and blond. His face was small and rounded, making it obvious his body hadn't matured properly and on his torso, he wore a scruffy, crinkled green shirt. His buttons were done up erratically and little bits of skin were visible through the cracks.

I gave him a small smile to try and not freak him out. "Hey, kid, if you actually want to be respected by more than four people, don't join their group."

"W-what!?" He spluttered, his head and eyes twitching profusely.

"Kenny is alright, Cartman is evil, Stan is a dick and Kyle's way too cheery and upbeat for me." As I said this Kenny gave an obviously fake grin and made an 'Awh' noise.

"Oh, geez man," Kenny began in an annoying accent like that Kyle Schwartz kid who came to our school every once in a while. "Craig Tucker doesn't hate me."

"Well, Kenny, despite your constant teasing of everyone you actually have some redeemable qualities. Some." I put in, making Kenny pretend to blush by ridiculously arching his hands in a V shape under his pointy chin.

"Thanks, Craig." Kenny beamed, his fake grin growing bigger by the second.

"Whatever, Kenny." I rasped, turning away from the whole conversation.

"W-wait, C-c-craig? Is that your name? Could you show me around?" The kid asked, his head flicking side to side. For a second I pondered what he said. Could I turn down a request from a kid who obviously had something wrong with him? No. And yet I was a tiny bit impressed by his forwardness.

"Sorry?" I said, turning in shock.

"Could you, uh, show me a-around? You're like, really tall, and the last time I went to a new school they p-picked o-on me." He said again, his twitching getting worse every time he said a word. Again, I stood and hesitated for a second, before turning to him and nodding.

"Yeah? Alright, I guess." I huffed out. The kid looked more like a tiny bit relieved than happy.

"Oh my, a nice Craig." Cartman said, smiling sadistically. I caught his tinted gaze and stared at him for a while.

"Everyone can be nice, Cartman." I said, turning from him and walking away. I could hear the new boy's hesitant breaths before he eventually began trudging towards me quickly.

Clyde tilted his head as me and the new kid came up to him, Token didn't say anything, in fact, he didn't even look up from his phone.

"Hey, Craig, who's the new kid?" Clyde said, lazily lifting his finger in the direction of the boy who stood nervously stood next to me. Again, I looked down at the kid and studied him. After looking at him again I turned my head back up to Clyde and shrugged.

"Smooth one, Craig." Token added, still not looking up from his phone. I flipped my middle finger at him and I saw his eyes roll.

"M-my name's Tweek." He said, gyrating hard as he said his name. In surprise both me and Clyde raised an eyebrow at the kid, and even Token looked up.

"Sorry, say again?" Clyde puzzled, leaning in closer to 'Tweek'. It was certainly a unique name.

"W-well, my first name is… Tweek, like – two E's." He twitched hard as he said his name, again. "And my second is Tweak, with EA."

"Wha… who is… why?" Token spoke, finally, in disbelief. He seemed to agree with me on the view of: 'Did his parent's actually name him that? Do they want him to get bullied?

"My parents own that new c-coffee shop in town and they're obsessed with it, can you believe they named me after it!" He spat, his voice vacillating in the wind. I had heard of those Tweak people before, mainly split conversation between my mom and dad when they weren't arguing, and from what I heard Tweek lived here when he was two or three.

"Ooooh. Okay." Clyde said, his face full of realization. Token also raised his eyebrows and soon retreated his eyes back to his iPhone. Token was engrossed in that phone all the time, apparently, he has a blog on some stupid fucking website. He's told me it's 'confidential', but he probably doesn't want Clyde commenting on his posts.

Tweek's twitching soon began to gyrate his whole body and his head began to really fling about. His mouth began to spasm and his fists began to clench and unclench rapidly. I caught his gaze and it was like he wanted to stop, but couldn't. Clyde soon caught on to this and studied Tweek like I had done before, and – for no reason – sat up, walked over to Tweek and hugged him.

Tweek's twitching soon calmed down, but his eyes still darted towards me and Token – looking for any show of emotion. Both me, and Token, did not show any weird expressions. This was just what Clyde was like.

"GAH!" Tweek cried out, not loud – but enough to grab Clyde's attention, and that was hard.

"What!? What!?" Clyde shouted, launching back from Tweek, tripping over the snow, somehow.

"I-I, I don't know you!" Tweek screamed, his twitching started again, but less violently.

"Well, uh, maybe we could all get to know you." Clyde began, a grin appearing on his face, only growing when I glared over at him.

"My name's Clyde and I have a girlfriend called Bebe." Clyde said proudly, putting his hips on his hands like he was some sort of stupid superhero. We'd played superheroes before as kids, and he based his costume off a mosquito. A mosquito.

Token sighed heavily and idly moved his eyes towards Tweek, finally getting a good look at him. "My name's Token."

"Aaaaand?" Clyde joked in a patronizing tone.

"And what?" Token said, furrowing his brow in Clyde's stupid persistence.

"About Nichole." Clyde said, leaning over to Token, his face wide with a smirk.

"Alright, geez. My name's Token and I have a girlfriend called Nichole. There, you happy?" Token rasped, his face had a stern look to it.

Then all eyes turned on me. I rolled my eyes, hard, and then looked towards the twitching boy. Clyde had a patronizing smile across his whole, punch-able, face.

"Yeah, my name's Craig." I grunted. Clyde mouthed a 'go on' but I just mouthed a 'fuck yourself' back.

"O-oh, is it my go? U-uh, well, uh. M-my name's Tweek and I… I'm, gaaaaay?" He drew out the last syllable in the sentence long, too long. In chorus me, Token, and Clyde all looked at him in shock. Welp, a first openly gay boy. A first. Then again Kyle and Stan did have all that awkward sexual tension every time they speak, but that was just normal now.

"Dude, what was that?" Token said, eyeing the boy curiously.

"W-what?" Tweek said, twitching again.

"That 'gay' thing." Token replied, once again raising his eyebrows.

"W-well, I thought we were all s-saying how we were in relationships, and I'm gay." Tweek said, his blond hair unmoving in a sudden gust of wind.

"Um, how do you know you're gay?" I asked, looking askance at Tweek.

"W-well I've never had a girlfriend." He exploded, acting like that meant we would all immediately turn away from him. We didn't, in fact his confession just made us more intrigued in him.

"So? Some people aren't that lucky." Clyde said, biting his fingernails cockily, like he was some sort of girl expert. I can tell you now that Clyde is no expert in anything.

"N-no, I've kissed a girl. I just, didn't feel anything." He admitted, still jerking in anxiousness.

"How does that work?" Token asked, finally standing up from his stiff sitting position under a small bush.

"W-work?" He asked, trying to seem casual about the question, but coming off like a terrified Guinea-pig. That was what he looked like to me, but on the other hand I'd never owned anything else.

"Like, what… did you feel?" Token rephrased, spinning his hand in front of his mouth to simulate a voice coming out.

"I-I, u-um." He stood silent for a bit after stuttering over his words again. Clyde was just about to say something when Tweek started again, I was glad about his timing. I'm surprised Clyde hasn't offended Tweek yet, to be honest.

"I-it was just, c-cold." He stammered. Clyde looked over at him and his mouth over annunciated the 'what?' that followed.

"Maybe it was just cold that day?" Clyde said, really not grasping the fact that Tweek may not like girls' company.

"S-sat inside in the middle of summer?" Tweek grunted, his voice carrying a hint of viciousness with it. He looked angry, yet not threatening at all.

"It's cold here." Clyde widened his hands still in confusion. I knew he was stupid, but this was surprisingly stupid for him.

Token, now stood up, slapped Clyde on the back of the head and looked to Tweek. "Don't listen to him." He said, gesturing to Clyde. Tweek nodded.

Seems like he's getting the gist of the group.

I sat in my room that afternoon playing with Stripe, his small little noises making me smile in glee every time I heard them. As I was trying to stroke him through the cage I heard a buzz emit from my phone. Cautiously, I looked at it to find a new text from Token.

Got that new IT movie.

I sighed. Another movie night at Token's meant another night with Clyde's bullshit. His bullshit was that he would freak the fuck out every time something really scary happened, but he doesn't freak out like normal. No, not the Donovan. He fucking starts saying shit in his thick, infused scared state that he wouldn't admit to anyone else. Last time he shouted, 'I think Token likes Bebe!' and that started an inter group civil war for a week. Token won, no doubt about it – but that's the thing with Clyde. It's like you can't beat him, whenever he does lose he plays it off like he 'learned something'. Clyde hadn't learnt anything in years.

Clyde going?

I asked, anticipating the answer with a yes.

Yes.

That was right on cue. I slipped my phone in my pocket and jumped up to say goodbye to Stripe, but my phone buzzed once again. I glanced at my pocket like an idiot, like I had never seen it vibrate after that same ritual of a conversation.

I pulled it out and my jaw dropped at the text.

Tweek's coming too.

Frantically I tapped my fingers up and down the screen, making an abundance of spelling mistakes and having to pain-stakingly back up and fix them. I gave up halfway through and just sent it anyway.

Dyde havs you seen Tweek at all. He's gonna flip his shit.

Token must have seen my garbled text and tried to interpret it, but his missed the mark and thought I was criticizing the boy.

You don't like him, Craig?

I rolled my eyes. I made two spelling mistakes how could he not read it?

It's not that, he just seems paranoid

Token came up as a messaging symbol for a minute or two before a 'First time for everything' came through and I moved my head back in surprise. Had Tweek never seen a horror? Surely he had.

Where we meeting?

I sent. Token just sent back a one-word reply.

Park.

I was the last to arrive, having to leave Stripe to Tricia. As I approached I saw Clyde and Token sat on the usual bench and Tweek stood next to them awkwardly. He was shaking hard and jumped when I came over.

"Is your mom picking us up, Token?" I asked approaching the other three. Token just nodded at me and turned back to Clyde.

"So, Tweek, you don't like girls?" Clyde asked, once again. I grunted loudly with Token and Tweek curled his lip.

"Y-yes." He snarled. Even Tweek was getting sick of Clyde's constant fascination with his sexuality. Yet Clyde was Clyde, so he never picked up on anything.

"Clyde do you ever leave people alone?" Token wondered, he just looked to Token and gave his head a shake. I sighed as Clyde sat up from his slouched position and continued to interrogate Tweek.

"So, like you don't…" He began, probably saying that Tweek doesn't like girls for the umpteenth time just today. But instead he was cut off by a surprisingly aggressive Tweek.

"Clyde, I swear to g-god if you ask that question one more time I-I will shove my foot up your ass." Tweek spat. I smirked towards Tweek and Token did so as well. It was quite funny, this timid character just suddenly becoming over aggressive. Well, not over aggressive, it was Clyde after all. And just about anybody could get seriously angry at Clyde.

With that Token's mom turned up in her car and we made our way over, Clyde making sure he didn't go too close to Tweek. When we finally got in the car Clyde began getting all giddy over that new movie, before Token's mom had even started the car.

"Oh, it's going to be so cool!" He chirped, his face bright like a light. He was getting too happy, and I knew why. Clyde expected Tweek to freak out worse than he would.

"Clyde, we all know you're going to be scared shitless." I said, getting a stare from Token. I didn't know what I'd done so I just shrugged.

"Hey! No, I'm not!" Clyde protested. I gave him my middle finger and he sent a punch towards me. It was accurate but completely failed in the power department, deflecting off into thin air.

We soon began a punching fight, I always won those, so I wasn't that phased by Clyde's stupid 'concentration' faces. What I was phased by was this one punch when Clyde decided it would be a good idea to dodge my fist.

It landed smack bang into Tweek.

"Oh fuck! Clyde, you asshole! Tweek you alright?" I spluttered, and by the silence that followed I actually thought I knocked him out cold. That was not the case.

From behind Clyde a pale fist shot around him and socked me in the arm, and throughout my body a shuddering feeling of fire shot through it and I let out a short shout of pain.

Straight away I felt the eyes of Token set on me in surprise. I don't think he'd heard me cry out in pain in ages. I don't think I'd heard me cry out in pain in ages.

"Dude!" Clyde said in excitement. "You can hurt Craig!"

Tweek turned to face out the window with his arms folded, his mouth turned down in disappointment. "Cool."

I clutched the spot where he had smacked me and pulled my jacket up. It was bruised, and I hid it away from Token and Clyde to stop them from teasing me about it twenty-four seven. "Tweek?" I asked.

He slightly angled his head so he could see me in the corner of his eye. "What?" He spoke in that deadpan tone again.

"I didn't know you could punch." I blurted. Tweek finally turned his whole body to face me.

"You have to when y-you get picked o-on." He said, and, without a second glance, he turned back to the window.

We finally reached Token's house and I could sense Tweek calming down, but I didn't want to freak him out completely – so I stayed away from him. The four of us were soon sat in the home cinema, popcorn a plenty. Token plopped in the disc and the movie began, lights flashing. I sat on the far side of the seats, Clyde and Token at the other end, and Tweek sat next to me in the middle. He definitely was scared of the movie because as soon as the title popped up he jumped back and started to make these weird little whimpering sounds.

I looked over to him, his face occasionally being illuminated by the movie. He looked scared but engrossed by the film, I mean it was hard not to be engrossed in Token's home cinema, and I think I was the only one not looking at the screen. Good. You may not be able to tell, but I can read faces pretty well. Slowly I moved down the line. Token, at the edge of the row, sat like he normally does, eyes wide and his hands clutching his elbows. Clyde sat in this awkward, stiff position, kind of bent around onto his armrest. Then it came to Tweek. Of course I'd never seen Tweek before two days ago so I spent longer studying him. He sat with his legs clutched against his chest, something I couldn't ever accomplish with my lanky legs, and his puffy cheeks spilled over his knees. He shook, like he would, and his head was slightly pushed to the right.

I switched my attention back to the screen. I wasn't sure where the film was, but I tried to figure stuff out anyway. A few minutes passed, and I got bored of the film and turned back to Tweek. As I did I caught him looking at me. I kind of stared at him for a moment, my eyebrows slowly furrowing. He began twitching harder, so I turned my head to try and not freak him out. But, why was he staring at me?

I tried not to think about it. The film got to this part of the film where a boy was running down a road in the rain, and I recognized it instantly as the scene from the trailer. The boy came up to the small crack to the sewers, after losing his paper boat, and looked down after it. I saw the jump-scare a mile away, but Tweek didn't. As soon as Pennywise stuck his head through the drain he flinched so hard he launched his head sideways and onto me.

It landed with a soft pad in my lap. For a moment I just sat there, staring at this… weird change of events. I lifted my hands to not touch him and looked over to Token for help. The two, Token and Clyde, just sat in awe as the blond sat with his head in my lap. I don't think he realized, either, because it didn't seem like he would eventually lift his head up. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped pretty far down, Clyde's did. Token just started mouthing 'what the fuck?'.

"Tweek?" I said, the most confused expression I could manage plastered across my face. Immediately his head shot up, he must have got whiplash from something that quick.

"O-oh, w-w-w-w-whaaaaaaa!" He screamed, his voice breaking as it reached the tip of the scream. The cry caught all two of the bystanders, me as well, by surprise. Seriously, what was this kid's problem?

"What the fuck?" I said, watching the blond twitch hard in his chair. He eyes began to close and open, his fists unclenching and clenching like back at school yesterday.

"C-c-c-craig! I'm s-so s-sorry!" He burst, his lower jaw swinging like it was unscrewed from his face.

"Dude, what the fuck was that?" I asked again, hoping to get an answer.

"Craig, you're just going to freak him out more!" Clyde shouted, trying to fix the situation. I didn't want to fix it though, I wanted to know why this kid flung his head into my lap.

Just before I could ask him again he jumped from his chair and ran from the whole thing. I watched him smash through the door leading out of Token's cinema, hoping he wouldn't freak out too bad. I could hear stomping feet and scrambles from the inside, probably Tweek clambering up the stairs. It went silent for a moment, the smell of popcorn thick and sickly, not matching the sudden mood change at all.

"Jesus, what the fuck was all that?" Token asked, standing up from his candy covered chair.

I hesitated and stuttered for a bit because from myself, even I didn't know what was going on. "I-I don't know." Another moment of silence followed, the scrambles upstairs slowly getting fainter and fainter. Soon they stopped.

Token turned on his heels and headed towards the door, Clyde did as well. I was confused, immensely, so I blurted. "Guys, where are you going?"

"We're going to help Tweek." Clyde said, flashing a peace sign my way. I grit my teeth in anxiousness, I hope I hadn't freaked him out that much. I'd only know him for a few days, but he was so... faint. If that's how you could say it. He kind of just melts into the background and you don't notice him too much, until something like this happened.

As soon as the other two left I sighed heavily and pulled out my phone. If I was going to get anywhere I had to just forget about my problems and dive back into the virtual world. I just couldn't remove it from my head. What was that? I mean, I knew exactly what it was. Tweek just got freaked out and twitched too hard. But them why me? Why did his head go to me? I dropped my phone into my lap, reminding me of the situation once again, and pushed my face into my hands.

About three or four minutes later Clyde and Token returned. I presumed with Tweek because they're was a constant shuffling sound in the air. Too embarrassed to look up I shifted in my chair, the situation awkward enough for me to try and convince myself I was the one uncomfortable, not everyone else in the room.

"Craig?" Token asked, trying to use that calming voice he does on Clyde and Nichole. It wouldn't work. It shouldn't and never will work on me.

"What?" I said, my head still buried deep in my hands.

"Could you say something to Tweek?" Token cautioned, his voice carrying hints of doubt along to my ear. I heard Tweek shuffle at the mention of his name. He was like that, one mention of him and he began searching for the worst possible scenario.

"Like what?" I said, finally lifting my face from my hands and looking over to where Token was stood.

"Like you, uh…" Token began; soon trailing off into inaudible mumbling.

"D-do you h-h-hate me n-now?" Tweek asked, breaking the silence, his words twisting and flinching as they came to me.

"Not more than I hated you before." That seemed to calm him down a tad, his shuffling still bad and his occasional tics still floating around. The four of us took the rest of the day held back, I didn't want anything like that to happen again. Never again.

I was sat on Token's bed watching the TV screen, but my eyes soon wandered. I found them latched onto Tweek, who was sat on the floor because he thought he wasn't allowed to sit on the bed, It'd taken Clyde ten minutes to get Tweek in here, never mind on the bed. My thoughts raced, and I began to second guess what I said earlier. Not more than before? What was that supposed to mean? I slapped myself in my own stupidity, how was I meant to be this cool no-fucks give kid if I was going way too soft? I mean I took a new kid under my wing on his first day, that seemed pretty nice.

I watched Stripe jump on around crazily on my bed, his chirping making grin like an idiot once again. He was magical, like a creature out of my dreams. He would just jump around like he normally would, and I would forget about my problems. Not that I had any problems normally, and I still didn't (I also didn't count Tweek accidentally launching his head into my crotch a problem) But it all felt weird though. Everybody just acted so normally about it. Maybe they thought he had problems, like me.

I jumped at a sudden crash.

"Craig!?" My dad shouted up the stairs, his gravelly voice ricocheting off every single wall in the house, seemingly shaking the whole structure.

"What!?" I shouted back, my shout pale in comparison to his rupture.

"Don't what me! Come here, now!" He shouted. I grunted and jumped off my bed, scooping up Stripe and putting him back in his cage. He gave another little chirp and I grinned again, before remembering that my dad was calling me.

I bolted down the stairs, each step sounding like an elephant was stampeding down. I saw my dad stood awkwardly at the table and when I walked up to him his eyebrows were cocked upwards. This never meant anything good. This was the look when he gave me the talk, now this was... worse, somehow.

"You tell me why I see this in your room?" He barked, holding up a magazine. I couldn't tell you any specifics, but it was… dirty. Not like a normal magazine, a proper disgusting one. I grimaced at the thought of what it had inside. How could people find that stuff attractive?

"What is that?" I asked. You might think I was trying to dodge the question, but I definitely did not own any of that, I had the internet, and even though I had complete freedom, I would never look up anything like... that.

"Don't dodge the question, Craig!" He spat, little balls of drool spraying across my face. This wasn't mine, I knew it. I started rushing through my mind for suspects. I don't think Token has ever talked to me and Clyde about this kind of stuff, so he was out of the question. No-one else from school was allowed in my room, so Clyde and Kenny were the prime suspects. It could've been Clyde, but he wasn't into this kind of stuff. He didn't look at that. So, in conclusion, Kenny had left some... fetish magazine at my house.

"Wait a minute, that's Kenny's." I said, realizing what the little bastard had done. Kenny was careless, but this had to be part of his sick, screwed up plan. He wouldn't leave a porn magazine like that over, it said on the cover $6, so it had to be worth something.

"Kenny's?" My dad said, his voice still loud and brash.

"Yeah, I'll text him the picture right now." I said, slipping my phone out and snapping a picture of the cover. Almost immediately I got a text from Kenny saying.

Crap, did I leave that over?

I showed it to my dad and his heavy breathing stopped. He tilted his head slightly and scratched his head in confusion.

"Oh." He said, turning away from me, magazine still in hand.

I heard a faint 'Don't just oh him, Thomas' from upstairs and I saw my dad flip the ceiling off. Yep, this could only be my family. I loved them and all, but the way we, the Tuckers, handled problems wasn't... orthodox. It was mainly a volley of middle fingers and soft cusses.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I looked down at it.

I'm coming over to get that.

Oh shit. Hastily I replied with a 'Don't' but Kenny was most likely already on his way over. I grunted again and went over to the couch and slumped over. A few seconds later Kenny burst through the door, panting heavily. I turned my head quickly to identify the dirty blond's presence.

"Where is it?" Kenny asked, panting in-between every word. I rolled my eyes and looked at him like he was a ghost. He just said 'What?'.

"My dad has it." I admitted, and half expected Kenny to bolt up the stairs straight away. But he didn't. He kept on staring at me.

"Come on, help me get it." He spluttered, still panting from the run over. I just knitted my brow and sent him the dirtiest look I could muster.

"No!" I exclaimed, this was dumb. Really dumb.

Kenny convinced me, eventually. Well, blackmailed, I didn't give a shit though, it's his problem. Somehow he had come up with this twisted idea that he was going to tell everyone I had a porn magazine, that didn't move me. What did was when he said that he was going tell everyone that I shared it with my dad. My dad was cool, some of the times, but I would not voluntarily jerk off in front of him for anything. That was gay and awkward.

I soon made it to my parent's room and knocked on it. Kenny made it behind me and didn't knock. Well, he did, but he just smashed his elbow into the door instead. My dad jumped out of his skin when he saw a kid burst through his door, and he sent the magazine flying away. Kenny jumped for it, like it was a winning touchdown and caught it. It was a pretty good catch, but he landed hard on the ground, sending a ripple through the floor.

"What the… Craig!? What is this?" My dad stammered, his voice going from a dull tone to a loud bark as soon as he realized it was me bursting in and cutting off his private session.

"Sorry, McCormick retrieval services." Kenny said, brushing his body off and giving another stupid smirk.

"Oh, uh… sorry." My dad said, his voice calming down. It was quiet for a moment, then my dad spoke up again. "W-wait a second, could I get some… uh, pictures?"

I pinched my nose harder than ever. What the fuck was that? I knew my dad was awkward, but this was, just fucking stupid.

"Of course, Mr. Tucker," Kenny started. "might I add you have great taste in women." My dad just curled his lip at Kenny. He seemed to have the same opinion towards the boy as I did. Nice, but he didn't half get on your fucking nerves. My dad seemed more interested in my involvement than Kenny's, though that was the reputation Kenny had... after breaking off from Stan, Kyle and Cartman.

Now, this situation was pretty bad. But it gets worse when my mom walks in on my dad taking pictures of a porn magazine with two kids stood next to him. Safe to say this didn't turn out well for anyone involved. Kenny got sent home with a call to his parents, which would most likely be ignored by the majority of his family - that was if he even had a phone, I got grounded and my dad slept on the couch.

...

"Now, Craig, I know you're a teenager and you have urges but you don't…" My mum started, but I just let her trail off into the distance. I'd had this talk before at much younger ages, so I didn't need her to do it again. For a while I was just sat daydreaming, letting my thoughts pass by. It was relaxing, refreshing, to just sit back and watch your mind just... work. This was cut off by my mom soon, though. "Did you even listen to me, Craig?" My mom screeched. I covered my ears to stop them bleeding profusely. Her voice was low, but boy could she scream.

"Yes, yes, I don't need to act on them. Mom, I've heard this before so you don't have to tell me again." I huffed. My mom didn't calm down, though.

"No, I said you don't need to go out and have sex! You're fifteen, Craig, you're still too young!" She screeched, again.

"Well I'm going to be sixteen soon." I added, my mom just gave me a rotten glare.

"That's still not old enough to be completely illegal." My mom said, staring at me like I was the impersonation of the devil himself. She probably thought that about me anyway. I'd only been a 'troublemaker' for their own benefits. In fact, I hardly did that much wrong. It was just that when I did, I didn't care. The Craig Tucker brand was a front.

Soon she sent me to my room for doing that 'troublemaker' phase I, apparently, had become too engrossed in. Being grounded sucked still. Well, not as much, but it still did suck. I did have Stripe to keep me company, and that did perk up my interests a lot, but I felt like I was missing something. I was missing Token and Clyde, life felt so meaningless without them. It was like there was no light without them. No fun. Well, like guy fun, not to disrespect Stripe.

I tapped my fingers in boredom and sighed hard.

"Mom! Could I go now!?" I shouted down the stairs.

"Not until you say that you admit I'm right!" She shouted back up. I waited for a moment longer, only then remembering my mom was about as, maybe more, stubborn as I was. I gave up with a small sigh, then inhaled to shout back down.

"Okay! Jesus, you're right!" I snapped back. There was no answer for a few minutes and I figured that she was alright with me coming down. After waiting for a moment longer, I jumped down the stairs and was just about to leave the house when my mom grabbed me. Another sigh came, and I turned to face her. Her face was a mixture of anger and anxiousness... god she looked like Tweek.

"Wait." Her distressed face mumbled. "Take this, it'll keep you safe."

I looked at her hand. Really? Really? "Mom, I'm…"

"No, Craig, you take it this instant." She held out the object and I grabbed it, with a huge sigh of embarrassment, and slid it into my pocket. I was so conscious of it being there I could feel it for the trek all the way to the park. It was still there when I stood still to catch my breath from the furiously walk over. To be honest I don't even know why I was angry, I think it was embarrassment than anything.

I came to the park and studied the scenery. Token said he'd be here. I took another gander and saw him walking with Clyde down by the river. I sauntered over, more casually than I had got here, and gave a lazy wave. He returned it, Clyde also waving, his whole body shaking with him as he shook his hand hard. As they approached I saw Tweek following behind them and I gave the face I make at people I don't hate completely, which was the face I gave Kenny, most of the time. Which was my normal face. Which was a tight lipped face. Which was... I don't know where I'm going with this.

"Wassup Craig?" Clyde said, over emphasizing his hands which made both me and Token roll our eyes in unison. He'd been acting more 'hip' as soon as we left elementary, saying it was part of his 're-imagining'. The only thing that had changed was hormones and pimples, which hadn't been too kind to anyone in our grade.

"I got grounded." I explained, trying to sound nonchalant about it. I guessed I slipped up, saying it in a way which was like Clyde normally does, way too overconfident that he sounded normal.

"You seem on edge, Craig, what was it for?" Token asked, he was still his inquisitive self.

"Oh, nothing important." I played it off pretty well, and I thought it was going to change the subject completely. That was until Kenny turned up. I drooped my face in the recognition of Kenny's even-more-confident-than-usual demeanor. He was going to spill the beans all over the floor and stamp on every single one.

"Hey, Craig, I came to say sorry about earlier." Kenny said, grinning so hard I thought his stupid, little handsome face would fling off with it.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, hard. "Kenny, don't"

But he was already answering Token's question for him before he had asked it. "Oh yeah, I accidentally left a porn mag at Craig's and his dad found it. It's quite a good one so I went to pick it up and his dad stopped to take some pictures. Guess his mom didn't seem so happy seeing her son, her husband and a dashing boy all staring at a porn mag."

I don't think I'd wanted to punch someone so hard in my life at that moment. Who calls them-self a 'dashing boy'?

"Well, his mom started on him about safe sex and I'm guessing he's trying to play off that he has a condom in his pocket right now." He boasted, gesturing towards me.

Well, that urge to punch him had upped a little more. "Woah, you have a condom?" Clyde said, his ears straightening out at the mention of sex.

I reached into my pocket and grasped the condom in my fingers, throwing my hand out into the air to display the thing.

"I'm taking that," Clyde said, snatching the thing out of the air. "I'll need that for Bebe."

Kenny just sent an annoying grin over to Clyde, and he sent one back, clicking his fingers and putting them into an overturned L sign. That was how I saw it anyway. He said it was meant to be some 'guns' but and overturned L seemed to fit him perfectly.

"Stop it, Clyde." I snapped coldly, he just snapped his fingers again.

It was silent for a minute and then Kenny piped up. "How's Tweek?"

I'd completely forgotten about Tweek in the past day. He did still hang around with us, but he always seemed to melt into the background. You couldn't really tell if he was there or not on most occasions.

Except that time at Token's.

Oh god, here comes the memories. Memories of complete confusion, embarrassment and downright idiotic nature of it all. And then that question came again. Why me?

"He's, uh, fine." I said, turning to face the blond, who was hidden behind Token. From what I could tell, his face was a mixture of scared and confused emotions.

"Did you know that he…" Clyde began, but I stopped him with a hard smack to the arm. He sent out a shrill cry of pain before retreating back behind Token with Tweek. Token wasn't stupid enough to say anything, and Tweek would be too shy to even speak.

"He what?" Kenny asked, leaning closer for effect.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter." I said hoping to not embarrass myself anymore in front of Kenny. He'd have a field day talking about my dad, never mind Tweek shooting his head into my lap.

School the next day was, eventful. We'd just come out of class and gone to lunch. Clyde was already getting giddy. It was Taco Tuesday, and there was nothing more than tacos that Clyde would love to eat.

"Dude, it's gonna be so cool!" He beamed, shaking his hands in front of his mouth like a school girl.

"It's Taco Tuesday, it happens every Tuesday." I said, glaring at Clyde's happiness for such a normal thing.

"Yeah, but I heard they just got a new food delivery, so that means there will be no end to the contents." He gushed, his face red with excitement.

We made it to the cafeteria and I was the first through, so I held the door open for Clyde, Token and Tweek to get through. As Tweek passed, he stared at me. It was weird, his green eyes just set onto mine and I felt this weird shock in my stomach. It wasn't painful, nor was it sickening, it was just the shock of realizing he was there, still. As I've said before, you can never really tell he's there, so I almost shut the door on his face.

We made it to the line and we were just about to head in when Kenny jumped into the line ahead of us. Clyde was at the front, so he immediately began pushing Kenny out of the line with his trademark Donovan noises, I say trademark, I mean that no human has ever made that noise before. We finally made it through and got our food, Clyde piling on four tacos, much to the disbelief of the school chef. We got our seats and began mindless chatter as always, Token just about disagreeing with every single thing Clyde suggested we do this weekend.

After we had ate the four of us stood and stepped out of the uncomfortable benches we had to sit on, we made our way over to the bins in the corner of the room. Clyde chucked his tray, lazily, hoping to land it on the small table beside the bins. Instead it landed smack bang into the person stood there, Kyle.

"Dude, for fucks sake." He said, wiping his orange coat down from all of Clyde's leftovers. From behind him Stan turned, facing Clyde with a face so angry, yet failing to be threatening, that it made me chuckle into my hand.

"What's funny, Craig?" Stan asked, trudging his way over to me and still making that stupid angry face.

"Nothing." I said, my dumb laugh fading to a close.

"You sure?" Stan spat, leaning in closer to me and gritting his teeth over his bottom lip.

Clyde began laughing as well, his laugh one of those annoying ones where he had to breath every time he let a burst of laughter out. Stan just turned over to Clyde and flipped him the bird. The bird? That was my thing.

"That's my thing." I said, my voice rippling through the air.

"Really?" Stan said, swivelling on his feels to face me, lowering his fingers. "How come?"

"How about this?" I said, pricking my middle finger up at him, sticking out a tongue. I really hated Stan, he was just so far up his own ass to realize other people had feelings. Then again you could say the same thing to me, but I'd probably just flip you off.

He launched himself at me, pinning me to the ground. In surprise I let out a tiny whimper as I fell, my body eventually slamming to the ground. Once there he landed a punch across my face, socking me in the nose. Again, I let out a whimper, this one deeper. As he sat atop me he had this really fucking stupid grin sat across his face. But that was soon wiped off as a body rammed into his side, sending him flailing across the floor.

In shock I looked around at the faces over me. Thank god just about everybody in that cafeteria thought Stan was a dick, or else I would have had another person on top of me in a few seconds. I sat up and looked over to Stan on the ground, trying to make out who was making him produce these really frail screams. And when I finally saw the person sat on top of Stan, I was more confused than I was before.

On top of Stan sat Tweek. I could hear each fist thump into Stan's chest and it sounded hard. Like really hard.

I got up and rushed over to the ongoing scuffle and dragged Tweek off of Stan, his fists still swinging like a maniac. His breath was heavy, and his head swung like a pendulum on steroids.

"Jesus, fuck dude." I said, grasping him by the arms and pulling him back. He just growled, and I cocked one of my eyebrows, in both confusion and anxiousness for my own safety, as I looked over to where Clyde stood. He was there, and he returned the expression.

The counselor's office had a strong stench of tea, and it made me grimace the first time I smelt it. Over the years of middle school, though, I had got used to it. The counselor, a man named Mr. Pober, sat in his chair and scanned down the clipboard for information. He sighed when he looked up at me.

"Again, Craig?" He grunted, I just curled my lip and stared at him. "Well, you don't have to drag new people into this, Craig."

I looked over to Tweek, his face still red with rage. "Are you sure I did this? Look at him."

Tweek sent me a bitter look, I just shrugged it off and turned back to the counselor. He licked his lips and pulled down his red glasses so that they were resting on the end of his nose. "Yeah, he looks angry, but it always has to involve you, Craig. Always."

I straightened out my body and sent him a face. "What?"

"Well, it seems to me that you have a problem with taking things for granted, Craig." Mr. Pober huffed. That man was weird, he'd just look at you and come out with some weird fucking theory.

"Well, if it helps, thanks for beating the shit out of Stan, Tweek." I thanked, turning to Tweek and extending my hand for a handshake. To my surprise he just slapped my hand away and went back to sitting in the corner, his arms folded.

I ambled up to Kyle as soon as I got out of that office, trying not to act like a douche. He was slowly putting his books back in his locker when I approached him.

"Hey, Kyle, I came here to say sorry about what happened at lunch." I began, sticking my hands in my pockets. I knew that Kyle was way too cheery of a person for me, but I had to say sorry or my mom would probably go batshit crazy at me for not doing so.

"What?" He said, closing his locker and turning to me, three fresh books stacked up against his chest.

"Well, about that Tweek kid." I explained.

"If he really is your friend then you'd probably be talking to him, trying to calm him down. I'm pretty sure that kid has a problem, Craig, so don't go abusing him. I can see he can melt down pretty easily, don't fucking take that for granted." He snorted, rushing past me. I threw my arms up into the air as he left. What was his problem? Was he on a period or something?

I barged through my house's front door, making my sister jump as I came through. She saw I was in one of my moods and decided not to try and talk to me. Well, if she did she try to talk to me, I wouldn't even catch her first words as my mom rushed up to me. She didn't hug me, either, she just ran up and skidded to a halt right in front of me.

"Hey Craig, are you alright?" She asked. This was weird, she never asked this.

"Uh, yeah." I said, raising my brow in confusion.

"Do you still have the, uh… rubber?" She challenged, biting her fingernails. The condom. Oh fuck, the condom.

I hesitated before pretending to search my pocket and not find it. "Oh, uh, not on me." I said, trying to insinuate that I'd forgotten it. My mom didn't take it that way.

"Oh, god. You used it, didn't you?" She accused, her long finger stretching out to me.

"No." I protested, knitting my eyebrows together.

"You did, oh god, who with?" She babbled, her eyes kind of tearing up.

"No-one." I protested again. She didn't take any notice.

"Just tell me what happened that day you left with it." She asked, biting her fingernails so hard that I was surprised they didn't fling off into my neck and stab me.

"I just went to the park and met up with the guys, we went over to Token's and watched a movie. I must've left it over at his." I said. This is probably the most fucking stupid thing I have ever said in my entire existence.

"You like men?" She spluttered.

What.

"Wait, sorry…. What the fuck, mom!?" I shrieked, my mom just cowering away from me. She didn't say anything, so I just inched closer to her, raising my fingers and clenching my teeth together. "What the fuck!?"

Then my dad walked in from clearing the yard. Well, this just got worse.

"CRAIG!" He belted, obviously the scene was too much for him. I turned to face him, my face still red with anger. He stomped towards me, his eyebrows slowly turning into a fierce droop. His chest raised and his large demeanour towered over me as he made his way over.

"What!?" I shouted back at him. He pushed me back and I stumbled from the living room to the bottom of the stairs.

"You don't push your mother around like that!" He roared, the house shaking in its foundations.

"I didn't fucking touch her!" I yelled back, trying my best to not appear weak.

"Well you can back off, you little brat!" He shrieked, and I backed off finally. My breath rattled in my chest as I slowly made my way back up the stairs and came to my room. What a cock, a stuck up, fat, ginger cock.

I slammed through the door and ran over to my bed, kicking the bed frame with all my might. I heard my dad shout something inaudible downstairs, so I slammed my door shut and locked it. I turned back around and went back to my bed, slamming my fists down on it and screaming my lungs out. This was fucked. What did they take me for, a cissy? A gay, weak, cissy?

I slammed my fists into my bed again and began toying with the idea to run away, but that soon went away. Where would I go? What would I do?

I flopped onto my bed and threw my hat against the wall. I wasn't a cissy. No, I was a strong man. I was a man. In my dazed rage I catapulted myself off my bed and over to Stripe's cage. I swung the gate open and stuck my finger inside. I went over to the sleeping Guinea-pig and poked him awaked. He chirped hurtfully, and when I stepped back I realized what I had done.

I had just hurt Stripe. Me. Oh fuck.

I ran over to my wall and slammed my fists into them, making two dents in the wall. I didn't care though, and once again I beat my fists into the wall. The dents grew deeper, but I didn't care, the pain didn't disappear. What kind of monster was I?

Maybe my dad was right, maybe he was wrong.

That was what fucked me up the most. That I was some kind of crazy monster, I was some heartless creature that hurt everything. I grasped my hair and pulled on it, the pain distracting me from the hurt I had caused in the real world.

I dropped to the floor and stared up at the ceiling, my breathing clamoring up my chest. For an age I lay there, staring at my ceiling fan, contemplating the stupidest things.

Well, I was contemplating stupid things until I heard a tiny squeak. I shot my head up and looked at the noise, Stripe. He came running over to me, his fluffy little body shaking at the speed he was moving.

He jumped at me, and began to chirp like he always did. I stroked my finger over him and felt his soft fur. Somehow Stripe always calmed me down all the time, and this was no exception.

Then I shot up from my lying position. A few moments ago I had just prodded him, and he just came back. I shuffled away from him, deciding I didn't deserve him at the moment, but he just came running over. No matter how hard I tried, he didn't stop coming over to me.

Finally I stopped shuffling around and picked him up, inspecting him for any indication of pain. None. I got up from the floor and lay him on my bed, me following in suit.

He plopped down onto the bed and began chirping for attention, so I crawled over to him. "I didn't hurt you that much, did I?" I asked.

He just chirped back, his noises full of ecstasy. I inspected him again for physical implications of his hurting. None.

"Are you okay?" I asked again. His happy chirps told me 'Yes'. I smiled and carried on stroking over his fur.

I studied him for a bit longer. "How are you so cute? Like, you do nothing. How?"

He just chirped again, and I laughed. Stripe was cool, he liked me. He loved me. Yeah, I did have friends, but I didn't have someone who loved me fully. Like they actually cared about me, or like they gave a shit about me.

"Do you like me, Stripe?" I asked, and he just peeped happily. I took this as a yes and blushed.

"Stop it, you." I said, covering my face. He just clambered over my lanky arms and tried to kiss my face. Stripe's cool.